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jubleshum

Confusion in Dating

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So basically this past weekend my girlfriend broke up with me and it is because she is feeling confusion about our relationship whether or not we should progress to the next level. She has been feeling this confusion for a while (a few months) and now she says that she is taking that as a sign that Heavenly Father doesn't approve of our relationship or that it should go to marriage. A couple of days later we talked and she expressed to me that she wants more than anything to be with me and she wants us to get married but she just thinks that she was confused because that is Heavenly Father's answer. It's just odd to me because we always talk about how fun married life would be and everything about after getting married and she loves the idea of it, it's just committing to it that she feels confused about.

We are going to be friendly together and not lose our friendship but the only times that I will be seeing her is when we run into each other on campus (we go to the same school) or when she needs me the most (I am her best friend and the person that she trusts the most). I would like to think that it is not completely over with her and that with time we will be together again but she just needs to realize that we really are right for each other. I have already taken steps in my life to make this breakup easier and to feel freedom like deleting her number so I really don't have anyway to contact her but she can still contact me.

From talking with people a lot of the advice that I have been given that most of her confusion could come from that she is nervous and scared to get married. Others have told me that she is being manipulative and just wants to keep me around. I am going to keep on going in my life and I've already been with friends a lot and I have a lot to do that will keep me busy and make an easy transition. What advice/counsel do you have? Is anything that general authorities have said about getting through confusion in dating or anything about that?

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Sounds like my ex and it would be really funny if it was, considering that she is now attending school.

Ever heard of the saying, have your cake and eat it too? Some women love to have the attention from more than one source. If her name begins with a B, private message me.

Ask her about her dating history and that should bring some things to light.

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If she's confused about the relationship, then it is just fine to break it up. Better break it up now than after the marriage!

So yeah, jubleshum, you can consider this a blessing. It's up to you if you want to wait for her to get un-confused and choose you again. It's just fine if you don't want to do that too.

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What advice/counsel do you have? Is anything that general authorities have said about getting through confusion in dating or anything about that?

I am not sure you will appreciate my advice, however I provide honest advice from my personal experiences when dating.

Honor her agency and move on. She is confused herself. She has dated a young man she has grown to really care about. She has recognized, herself, marriage would be enjoyable. She then receives witness, what she assumes is a witness, from God which contradicts her heart. If she feels she has received a witness from God, then tell her to follow the counsel she feels is from God.

Remember, a person's agency, and their personal revelation is theirs to hold onto. Respect their agency and move on.

Elder Jefferey R. Holland, "Cast Not Away Therefore your Confidence," is one of the best talks given regarding our fears, dating, etc...

The next time she calls, and if you still have romantic feelings and care for her, you need to let her know to not call you until you have worked through your personal feelings and emotions for her. Be frank and honest, letting her know you still care, but need sometime to move on yourself. Spending to much time on the phone together will draw upon the emotions you and her already have, only confusing the situation even more. Allow yourself the time you need to heal and move on.

Best wishes.

Edited by Anddenex

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