Out of control.....

[abeChristianson]

I feel as though my life is spinning out of control and I cannot stop it. My finances are messed up. I am being sued by my former bank for a checking account that went into collections, I’m living pay check to paycheck and not making enough to pay any most of my bills let alone my tithing, my student loans are coming up soon and I do not have anything to show for it. I feel as though I am losing any intelligence that I ever had. My girlfriend wants me to move in with her so that I can save money, which I am going to do but it is with her mother and father. I know that I will be living in sin but I want to marry her soon. I just wish that I could get some kind of control. I don't know if I can do anything right anymore. I cannot even think straight sometimes. My head hurts and I am not sleeping well. I wake up more tired than when I went to bed. I feel as though I am a failure. I wish that I could just end it all.

I am on medication for all of this and up until a month ago I have been fine. The only thing that has changed is that I am not working all three jobs and I stopped taking my Ativan.

[abeChristianson]

The Ataivan is for anxiety and can be addictive so I stopped taking it.

[Guest]

Did you stop the Ativan cold turkey? That can send you into a tailspin.

If you don't have money to pay your student loans, file a deference.

If you're going to live with your girlfriend's family, make sure you're never alone, and you won't be living in sin.

Take everything else one day at a time. Talk to the bishop and get some moral support at least, if not a little hand up until things are better.

Good luck.

[abeChristianson]

Did you stop the Ativan cold turkey? That can send you into a tailspin.

The Ativan was just making me sleep to hard and I had ben on it too long. I don't think that is why everything has gone to pots though. I get down when I am not able to provide financially for the people I love.... This time it is worse then ever. I have been on meds for a long time now.....

[Lakumi]

Did you stop the Ativan cold turkey? That can send you into a tailspin.

If you don't have money to pay your student loans, file a deference.

If you're going to live with your girlfriend's family, make sure you're never alone, and you won't be living in sin.

Take everything else one day at a time. Talk to the bishop and get some moral support at least, if not a little hand up until things are better.

Good luck.

even if they are that doesn't mean they are going to just decide to do things.

people should be trusted more then that

[abeChristianson]

I have to add that prayer isn't helping me anymore.....

[Lakumi]

I have to add that prayer isn't helping me anymore.....

one often makes the mistake prayer is only to ask for things, when it is much more then that

[wyarwehere]

I'm going to touch on the Ativan point. Did you discuss it with your doctor? There are other anxiety meds that aren't as addicting as the benzo's(Vistaril and Benadryl being two of them), and stopping cold turkey really messes with the brain chemicals. In addition, if you were sleeping too much, you could have been put on a lower dose to wean you off. You can end up in serious trouble going off it like that.

Feeling as tho things are out of control is nothing new to me. I know how hard it is to scramble to hold on to some sense of control. The best advice I can give right now is to make lists. One page, list all your sources of income, vs your bills/debts/obligations. Second list, pros/cons of moving in with your girlfriend.

If you're having issues sleeping, and you aren't taking the Ativan, depending on what medications you may be, consider talking to your doctor about taking Melatonin. I find it helps a lot when I'm not able to sleep, and a proportioned dose doesn't really cause issues. It doesn't make you sleep, like a lot of the anxiety meds. Instead it relaxes the muscles so you can sleep.

I hope this helps. And don't give up on prayer, sometimes Heavenly Father tells us to wait, and as hard as it is, he has an ultimate purpose.

[Leah]

even if they are that doesn't mean they are going to just decide to do things.

people should be trusted more then that

I don't understand your post. Can you clarify what it is you're taking exception to?

[abeChristianson]

I'm going to touch on the Ativan point. Did you discuss it with your doctor? There are other anxiety meds that aren't as addicting as the benzo's(Vistaril and Benadryl being two of them), and stopping cold turkey really messes with the brain chemicals. In addition, if you were sleeping too much, you could have been put on a lower dose to wean you off. You can end up in serious trouble going off it like that.

Feeling as tho things are out of control is nothing new to me. I know how hard it is to scramble to hold on to some sense of control. The best advice I can give right now is to make lists. One page, list all your sources of income, vs your bills/debts/obligations. Second list, pros/cons of moving in with your girlfriend.

If you're having issues sleeping, and you aren't taking the Ativan, depending on what medications you may be, consider talking to your doctor about taking Melatonin. I find it helps a lot when I'm not able to sleep, and a proportioned dose doesn't really cause issues. It doesn't make you sleep, like a lot of the anxiety meds. Instead it relaxes the muscles so you can sleep.

I hope this helps. And don't give up on prayer, sometimes Heavenly Father tells us to wait, and as hard as it is, he has an ultimate purpose.

I have been off the Ativan for about a week now, but this whole thing was started before I started to take myself off of it. I have been praying for a long time now and I haven't felt much better. I feel as though I am not worthy to receive any additional help from Heavenly Father. I feel like......

The anxiety is better I should have only been taking it when i needed it anyway. I was also on the lowest dose. I am just a little sensitive to the medication I guess. I know about Benadryl, Melatonin, and Visteril. They knock me out just as bad. The Melatonin gives me bad dreams. I just wish it would go away. I have had headaches for a long time now. I wish that they would go away too. That may be becasue of my CPAP machine not working right, or my back. Sorry for the randomness and the lack of sense. I just want it to go away and I want to be normal......?????

[Lakumi]

I have been off the Ativan for about a week now, but this whole thing was started before I started to take myself off of it. I have been praying for a long time now and I haven't felt much better. I feel as though I am not worthy to receive any additional help from Heavenly Father. I feel like......

The anxiety is better I should have only been taking it when i needed it anyway. I was also on the lowest dose. I am just a little sensitive to the medication I guess. I know about Benadryl, Melatonin, and Visteril. They knock me out just as bad. The Melatonin gives me bad dreams. I just wish it would go away. I have had headaches for a long time now. I wish that they would go away too. That may be becasue of my CPAP machine not working right, or my back. Sorry for the randomness and the lack of sense. I just want it to go away and I want to be normal......?????

you don't know how many times I have wished to be normal...

at the very least I do understand what you are going through and hope things go better in the future

[TalkativeIntrovert]

Normal is over rated, plus I don't think normal really exists.

I feel your pain about being out of control. It is hard to see a way out when so much is burdening you at once.

I suggest you need to address each of your problems in a logical manner, a small piece at a time so you don't become overwhelmed.

I was in a similar hole a while back. What worked for me is to look at 1 thing I can accomplish, and finish it. For me, the first thing was simply attending to a dental issue that was causing pain. After overcoming the anxiety of the dental appointment, I felt much better both mentally and physically.

I then sat down with a list of things I needed to do or sort out, put it in priority order, and made myself attend to 1 thing per day. Part of my problem is that we had moved house and I had boxes everywhere and couldn't find anything, particularly financial things, but lots of little things as well. So it worked for me to do 1 box per day and make 1 phone call per day to sort out the finance issue.

By doing 1 per day I still had time to wallow in my misery, but at least I was moving forward!

For you, maybe that means doing something like this:

1. talk to bishop and ask for assistance and advice re finances and moving in with girlfriend

2. talk to doctor about managing your condition

3. work out a list of incomings, outgoings and debts

4. look at the gaps in 3 and try to come up with scenarios that will get you through it.

5. Call 1 creditor to work out a plan

Can you sit with your girlfriend and list all your issues and work through some of them with her? Having someone on your side can really help.

[abeChristianson]

I work the Night shift (2330 - 0800 or 11:30 PM to 8:00AM) so I have to sleep a lot during the day, I forgot to mention that. I work better on that shift compared to the other ones, although I have to work a 1530 - 2400 (3:30 PM to 12:00AM) shift two times a week. I enjoy my work, but I am having a lot of diffaculty doing things that are enjoyable at home.......

[abeChristianson]

Thanks for the advice. I am starting to feel better now. I think that listening to David Bowie's music seems to help LOL...

[Lakumi]

Thanks for the advice. I am starting to feel better now. I think that listening to David Bowie's music seems to help LOL...

There's such a sad love

Deep in your eyes.

A kind of pale jewel

Open and closed

Within your eyes.

I'll place the sky

Within your eyes...

I just saw Labyrinth like 2 days ago:lol:

[abeChristianson]

There's such a sad love

Deep in your eyes.

A kind of pale jewel

Open and closed

Within your eyes.

I'll place the sky

Within your eyes...

I just saw Labyrinth like 2 days ago:lol:

I haven't seen that movie in a long time.

[Lakumi]

I haven't seen that movie in a long time.

I own it on VHS, which means I think highly of it, tracking it down like that lol

[abeChristianson]

I own it on VHS, which means I think highly of it, tracking it down like that lol

Wow VHS. where did you find it on VHS?

[Lakumi]

Wow VHS. where did you find it on VHS?

Value Village, get all sorts of VHS and old video games there

[abeChristianson]

Value Village, get all sorts of VHS and old video games there

That's cool I suppose I could look for my copy and watch it again. although I have it on DVD I really enjoy that movie

[Lakumi]

That's cool I suppose I could look for my copy and watch it again. although I have it on DVD I really enjoy that movie

DVD lol, scam just like blu-ray

(own 1 blu ray movie, Akira, and it doesn't have the classic -bad- dub so I replaced it with a VHS version)

though Mormons aren't the medatating outside in silence types, it has kept me from snapping in the past, I recommend it