I prayed and got a yes but..

[Guest]

I apologize. I am just very sensitive about my church attendance. I am getting it under control, hopefully. He's just there to hold me and talk me through the bad anxiety attacks. I'm going in and seeing doctors to see if it physical or if it is really mental. I think it's mental. I had it my whole life.

When I am home alone I freak out and barricade myself in a closet because I am afraid someone is going to hurt me. (I fixed this by singing hymns until I fall asleep or by having a dog).

Anything I do, any little mistake I think God is telling me to repent to the bishop even though it's not something that should.

I don't want to be near my family anymore. My boyfriend is the only one I want to hold me and comfort me. I feel he's the only one who understands and can deal with this, but yet I feel God is trying to take him away from me when he brought him back to me. I've prayed and told God my decision and I feel he approves which is all I need. But then my mind goes into "God says no, dump him, he's not the one," But I've weighed it out in my mind and I think he is the one to marry. I think he is the best choice.

I am seeing counselors and the doctors are trying to figure out what medication to prescribe. I guess I just wanted to know if God would condemn me for marrying someone I think would be good for me and who I feel is the best choice. I feel his approval but then at other times I am like what if it's actually a no.

I understand that you need him to see you through it. But maybe... and this is just a maybe because as Traveler said, we are not in authority to interpret your own personal revelations... the Spirit is prompting you that yes, this can be the guy, but only when he is not your crutch (dependency is not a good ingredient in psychological issues). So maybe you have to work on detaching yourself from that dependency so you can love him with a pure heart.

Shot it the dark, but hey, this is the internet.

[garryw]

“The most important single thing that any Latter-day Saint ever does in this world is to marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority.”

I think if you could look further than 70 years into the the future you would agree with the above quote. But looking hundreds of billions of years beyond mortality requires some long term vision. Easier to think of the short term.

[Finrock]

I guess what I am asking is, I already got an Okay from God so why won't my mind leave me alone.

P.S. Everyone thinks he's a good choice to marry. Even me and I don't want to loose him. I want him and only him.

Because your body is against God. Your body wants to control you and make the decisions for you. Even when your spirit has received an answer from God, your body is what will introduce doubt and anxiety in to your life. This is our condition and it is normal. What you need to learn is to trust in your spirit and in the Spirit of God. This is what faith is. You act on that impression that you have even though you can't see the end results. You don't know what will happen, but if God has answered you, then trust that and act in faith.

Your body, your brain, will always try to dissuade you from doing spiritual things (the good and right things). It isn't easy and it takes effort, time, and patience, but we can overcome our body and allow our spirits to rule us. All things are done through faith and faith is us acting on the hope that we have of things we haven't yet seen or experienced.

-Finrock

[yjacket]

My 2 cents. The spirit can and does speak both to our spirit and to our mind, so don't discount your mind as not being from God.

I would suggest that if you are having enough questions about marriage that you feel compelled to ask an anonymous internet message board about the choice to marry someone then that in and of itself means you are not ready. It doesn't mean that you won't be ready or that you won't marry this person, it just means that as of right now you are not ready to get married, or to make the decision to get married.

I would also suggest that it is your responsibility to own this issue. I second The Traveler's comments, very good stuff. Part of life is learning how to take responsibility for our actions and to own the consequences whatever they may be (good or bad). Part of taking responsibility is learning how to take the principles that we've been taught and to apply them in our lives and to make decisions based upon those learned principles. It's saying to Heavenly Father, I've thought long and hard about this, I plan on making this decision because of xyz reasons. If this is right, or good, please confirm. If it's not right please give me a "stupor of thought". Sometimes we don't get anything immediately, that just means proceed the best way we know how. Or if we don't know, say Heavenly Father provide me the path so that I can make a decision. Once we've made our decision, we own it-no one made us choose it and if things turn out poorly we have to have enough faith that no matter what we happens to say that we did the best we could and made the best decision we could at the time and that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ it will all work out in the end.

I would also suggest that you reflect on your thoughts of divorce. 53% of all marriages in the US end in divorce. And everyone thinks before they get married, well it will never happen to me. 53% of people who think that are wrong. Marriage and family are the greatest blessing on earth, but it is also the hardest most difficult thing on earth. Taking two people with completely different backgrounds and putting them in one unit . . . it's hard, real hard. If prior to going into a marriage, one does not have the mindset that one will do everything possible to fight to the utmost farthing for one's marriage, then it will quite possibly fail. If one goes into a marriage thinking that the other person will magically "fix" them, that is a recipe for disaster. The only person who can fix you . . . is you. What marriage will do is provide ample opportunities for one to fix themselves. Without marriage those opportunties to fix oneself would never arise and we would be left incomplete. With marriage, the other party doesn't fix us, we fix ourselves, we own our problems and we resolve them, in marriage one shouldn't throw one's problems on the other person and say here fix me.

How the Spirit speaks to our mind:

Peace of Conscience and Peace of Mind - general-conference