TheMostHappy44 Posted March 17, 2014 Report Posted March 17, 2014 Hi everyone! I'm new here and i thought this would be a great place to get some help. I am a 22 year old woman with an abandonment issue. I am so afraid that everyone i love with eventually leave me.. Because i have been left by others before. It all started when i was 12 years old, after my grandfather died. He was very close to me and i found it hard to cope with his loss. From that point i have had serious anxiety over any kind of large change. Such as starting the new school year or moving out of my parents home. Seems a little silly, i know but it has plagued me for over 10 years. It has folded over into my relationships as I've gotten older as well.For the last couple years i haven't had the greatest luck with relationships, since the guys i date stick around for more than a week. (I know that I'm young and have plenty of time to find this thing called Love.) This is after they tell me that they will stick around and want to see where it all goes. Well they disappear and i never hear from them again. I'm in this new relationship with this wonderful man and he cares very deeply for me. I know he is sincere when he tells me that he wants a relationship, but i can't help but not believe him. We've been together about two weeks and yes i know its still pretty early to determine if it will last. I have a feeling that it will but the anxiety from not hearing much from him during the day freaks me out! I know he's busy with work and sometimes forgets to text back and such.. Ugh.. I really need to trust the Lord more but i can't help but wait for the phone call, text message or the in person talk that he's done.I've always been afraid of those i love leaving me.. One day i want to not worry whether this guy will stick around or not.. I'm going to be going to a therapist to see if they can help me with this issue.. Any advice you could give would be great! :) Quote
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted March 17, 2014 Report Posted March 17, 2014 I think going to a therapist is a good idea. I don't think you would need help for a long time. I am in therapy (for different reasons) and it has been a lifesaver.) Quote
mnn727 Posted March 17, 2014 Report Posted March 17, 2014 This is really beyond what we can advise, however one thing sticks out in your post This is after they tell me that they will stick around and want to see where it all goes. Well they disappear and i never hear from them again.Perhaps you are over compensating and appearing a bit clingy?? That's a total guess from only knowing what you posted in 3 paragraphs . I think a therapist is your best bet to work through this.I wish you well. Quote
TheMostHappy44 Posted March 17, 2014 Author Report Posted March 17, 2014 Well, i'm not sure about being clingy but i do appreciate that you posted on this. I guess i'll just have wait and see what the therapist says. :) Quote
Lakumi Posted March 17, 2014 Report Posted March 17, 2014 Yeah and also, a lot of people at your age just aren't too keen on commitment.Either they are immature, don't understand it, or are afraid, or just don't want it... Quote
Guest Posted March 17, 2014 Report Posted March 17, 2014 I had the same issue and I believe it was damaging to a lot of my friendships and relationships. I wish I had gotten some help with it sooner. Quote
notquiteperfect Posted March 17, 2014 Report Posted March 17, 2014 A therapist may help and you can also look into EFT, EmotionCode and Flower Essences. Just check google and/or youtube. I'm glad you're facing this now rather than later. x Quote
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