My future plans

[EragonPaolini]

Hi, I seriously hope I am not annoying people with all of my posts so please feel free not to read this if this bores you or anything but now that I have decided I am open to dating, that pretty much changes my plans and it is exciting.  I do not really know anyone in real life due to the fact that I just moved so I am sharing on the internet with you guys.

 

Today I got a job offer at the grocery store and I plan to work for one year and after that year I plan to go to London on a visitor's visa for 6 months and visit my friend Rupert, I have not been to the UK in over 3 years, I am in California now. The reason why is that I want to earn enough money to not only pay for the round trip ticket but I also want to have at least $10,000 USD in my bank account since the immigration officers might want to see that. I do not want to ask my parents to put the money in because I am not sure they would approve of my going to England, that is why I am paying for all of this myself you see.  A lot of thoughts do come into my head as I contemplate this decision.

 

When I lived in Shepherd's Bush, London, what I did daily was I would go to one soup kitchen for lunch and another for dinner. I had some friends there. But they were homeless so I don't have their contact info or even their full names, I didn't ask. I wonder if any of them will still be there when I go there.  Basically I would show up at the soup kitchens and see if they were there. I might go to the evening soup kitchen where I could less conspicuously have a look to see if they are there. It's kind of intimidating because it's mostly men at the soup kitchen and I don't want them to be like "what is she doing here."  If none of the people I used to know is still there I guess I could introduce myself to someone. I also plan to brush up on my Polish before I go because most of the people at the soup kitchen tend to speak Polish. I have not spoken Polish for 3 years.

 

Also, when I am in London, I am hoping to find a boyfriend/future husband. I know what you may be thinking "Why not find someone in America?" Well you see I was a bit of a late bloomer and I didn't start dating until the day before I turned 22. It was someone I met at a soup kitchen and the 2nd person I dated was also someone I met at the soup kitchen. It was a serious relationship. So I guess it's familiarity.  Plus another thing is that maybe this sounds bad to say, but with homeless people or people who drink a lot, they tend to be more easygoing so I would feel more comfortable than I would around "normal guys". Plus, I sort of like the leisurely life. I know that sounds mean because these people sleep rough so I shouldn't make it out to be a good thing but I dunno, I sort of like hanging out with them, the lifestyle is sort of fun and interesting.

 

I feel pretty good about the idea of meeting a partner in London. I have a pretty good idea how it will work. Basically, I will make some friends and hopefully one of them will happen to be a good looking guy around my age. There are usually some people my age at the soup kitchens. Most of the Polish people are friends so if I make friends with one of them I should be able to talk to the one I get interested in. After talking to him a few times I plan to nonchalantly start holding his hand.

 

One concern that I do have regarding getting a BF there is that I am not a UK citizen. I have read the immigration policy and they say that you are not meant to live in the UK for extensive periods through frequent and successive visits. However, it seems that they are saying you are not meant to make it your main home and to try to work there or stuff like that. If I had a BF there I would want to go there 5-6 months a year but it is possible it would be OK because from that document it seems like they are mainly trying to screen out people who are really living there most of the time. Also, I would genuinely be there to visit friends and I can also show my bank account that I can support myself while I am there. Another option would be if we got serious, I could apply for a marriage visitor visa which allows you to marry while you are there. However, they may say that my hypothetical partner, despite being an EU citizen, does not technically have the right to reside if he is not supporting himself, working, or studying. So I am not sure about that but hopefully they will let me in every time. The marriage visitor visa differs from the EEAC family permit which is more rigorous which requires that the EU citizen be working or financially independent. The marriage visitor visa just allows you the right to visit for 6 months, not to live there. So I may possibly get that if we get serious.

 

Basically I was thinking I have never been outside of London so I was thinking if I had a boyfriend we could go to another city and have a look around. Also I could take pictures of myself and my friends. When I left London I regretted that I didn't have pictures of anyone.  I also think that it would be fun to go to different places around London such as parks and stuff like that. Back in the day with my 2 ex boyfriends we just sat in the local park but we didn't really go anywhere. I don't know why. Also in the past few years I have become interested in buying designer clothes so I would love to go to the shops with my future boyfriend. Well I sort of did that with my last boyfriend but we went to True Religion to buy jeans whereas right now I am more interested in high fashion. I know you might be thinking "Well it might offend a poor person if you were to spend that much money in front of him" but honestly if we were in a loving relationship I don't think the person would mind.

[Guest]

I think you need to spend some time and resources getting yourself to a healthy mental state before considering any of this. 

[sxfritz]

Sounds like the basis for a novel. I might just write it. Unfortunately, I believe it could only have a tragic end. 

 

Take the year to work. By the end of the year, you may find many other opportunities open up. I not saying you must set aside your dreams, I am saying life has a way of taking over. Get busy on the job and saving money and as Eowyn said, maybe focus on your state of health. We all need it from time to time.

[theSQUIDSTER]

EP,

I think you need to allow yourself some time to evolve spiritually and emotionally. It's been less than a day ago that you were struggling with the question of whether to even consider a relationship or dating at all. In this post it sounds like quite a dramatic transformation has taken place. That's wonderful! But I think you would also be wise to give yourself some time to ponder what your hopes and dreams really are and where they might lead you.

I believe you mentioned earlier that you are relatively new to the church. Becoming LDS is, for most new converts, a HUGE change... in most cases very very much for the better. But change, even in its most glorious moments of possibility, is still very disruptive and challenging. There are new habits to develop.. old habits to cast off.. a lot of things to take in and learn how to use for good in your life.

The Lord will guide you if you allow Him to. He will comfort and encourage you in all that is pleasing to Him.. and warn you of potential oncoming hazards as well. But, in my experience, he won't do so in a heavy-handed manner. There can be very powerful spiritual experiences for each of us, but those usually depend a great deal upon how willingly and sincerely we seek for them. The Lord will not force His will upon us. He won't force us to make wise choices. He will not force us to choose the right. In the end, WE must choose and we would be well advised to do so only AFTER we've learned what we can and then taken it to Him in prayer.

So, please be prayerful and allow yourself time to learn and grow in spiritual strength and confidence. Search the scriptures daily. Seek wise counsel from leaders and true friends. Since you've mentioned that you're in California, it's highly likely that there are LDS therapists and health professionals readily available should you require assistance that your bishop can't provide himself .. or which he might recommend you for depending upon the nature of your challenges.