MormonGirl02 Posted November 13, 2007 Report Share Posted November 13, 2007 Hi everyone. A few weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me because he didn't have enough time to spend with me. At the time there was a chance that he'd take me back in the future. Well, I went and made a mistake (I'd rather not say what) and he can't seem to forgive me for it. I asked him if we could start over our friendship like it never happened before and he said yes so that gave me hope that he'd eventually take me back. Then today he told me he probably would not take me back in the future even if he did have more time to spend with me. I cried for a good 30 minutes and am crying again now. I bawled my eyes out and was crying so hard I was even hyperventilating. I'm so depressed that he won't take me back. Him and I were going to get married some day. He had even gotten a wedding ring for me. Now that's all over and I have to move on. Thankfully him and I are still friends. Please pray for me that my depression would go away. I'm thinking about asking for a priesthood blessing over this on Sunday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Mom Posted November 13, 2007 Report Share Posted November 13, 2007 Hi everyone. A few weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me because he didn't have enough time to spend with me. At the time there was a chance that he'd take me back in the future. Well, I went and made a mistake (I'd rather not say what) and he can't seem to forgive me for it. I asked him if we could start over our friendship like it never happened before and he said yes so that gave me hope that he'd eventually take me back. Then today he told me he probably would not take me back in the future even if he did have more time to spend with me. I cried for a good 30 minutes and am crying again now. I bawled my eyes out and was crying so hard I was even hyperventilating. I'm so depressed that he won't take me back. Him and I were going to get married some day. He had even gotten a wedding ring for me. Now that's all over and I have to move on. Thankfully him and I are still friends. Please pray for me that my depression would go away. I'm thinking about asking for a priesthood blessing over this on Sunday.Holly-Of course I'll keep you in my prayers. I honestly think that perhaps part of your depression is the mistake you committed (and didn't tell us what- that's OK). I think you need to start the repentance process and forgive yourself. If one mistake is going to keep him from associating with you, especially as his fiance, then he doesn't know enough about repentence now, does he? We're all going to make mistakes, it doesn't mean we stop living and loving because of them. We learn and move on. You can do this, hon. Don't quit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LdsNana Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 Holly,Sometimes we must mourn what was never meant to be... It may take some time, but you most likely will come to see this as a gift that was given to you, instead of something that was taken from you. But that will only come when you are able to see this from the proper perspective.First, like the doc has stated, you must forgive yourself for whatever you feel you did, that may or may not have caused things to come to an end. Fact - It does not matter why.WHY? - Because, now you MUST heal and move on to new experiences WITH what you have LEARNED:-)The Savior's atonement has covered all of these things if you will but come unto Him. I love knowing that he atoned for my weaknesses, my depression, sorrows, failings, shortcomings... as well as my sins. He has already forgiven me of these things.His atonement only truly becomes alive in our lives when we receive it for ourselves. Must he continue to suffer as He watches us suffer unnecessarily while we are so hard on ourselves. He has offered us his great love and mercy. Can we not allow ourselves to receive it.... and also offer ourselves the same?I too have prayed for you as have others who have not written, but surely feel your discomfort. What simple faith you have to use this forum for this request. I imagine great blessing will come to one such as yourself... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MormonGirl02 Posted November 14, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 Thank you to both of you for your kind replies. I do appreciate it. Just so you know, the mistake I made, I made that mistake after he broke up with me. Well anyway, I am trying to heal from it and move on. I am just finding it very hard to forgive myself for what I did because I feel I ruined my relationship with my soulmate. However, he must not have been my soulmate if he wouldn't take me back. If he was truly my soulmate, he would have taken me back and we would have continued on to marriage. Also, he was not Mormon so we never could have gotten married in the temple. That is something I would have wanted. Maybe I will find a good Mormon man to marry someday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fish4kitty Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 There are a lot of good men out there looking for a good woman. I will be praying that you will find comfort in Christ. Your heart will heal and you will find a good man that will be willing to take you to the temple and love you for eternity. f4k :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MormonGirl02 Posted November 14, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 There are a lot of good men out there looking for a good woman. I will be praying that you will find comfort in Christ. Your heart will heal and you will find a good man that will be willing to take you to the temple and love you for eternity. f4k :)Thank you for this kind reply. I do hope that I find a new boyfriend within the next couple of years and preferably that boyfriend will be a Mormon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LdsNana Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 Thank you to both of you for your kind replies. I do appreciate it. Just so you know, the mistake I made, I made that mistake after he broke up with me. Well anyway, I am trying to heal from it and move on. I am just finding it very hard to forgive myself for what I did because I feel I ruined my relationship with my soulmate. However, he must not have been my soulmate if he wouldn't take me back. If he was truly my soulmate, he would have taken me back and we would have continued on to marriage. Also, he was not Mormon so we never could have gotten married in the temple. That is something I would have wanted. Maybe I will find a good Mormon man to marry someday.Holly,Before or after it would have been the same. He is the same person either way and so are you. This was not meant to be. Now prepare yourself for the one who is waiting for you and praying that you will come into his life. That is the most wonderful thought, isn't it? But you need to cleanse yourself of these feelings and allow yourself to heal. I stand by all that I said before and will continue to pray for you. I pray that you will look above these negative feelings and catch the positive energy that is being sent your way Holly. You must receive that power if you expect it to work FOR you. You have asked for it NOW you must actually take it IN and RECEIVE it. It is HERE....Love,gVr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MormonGirl02 Posted November 14, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 Holly,Before or after it would have been the same. He is the same person either way and so are you. This was not meant to be. Now prepare yourself for the one who is waiting for you and praying that you will come into his life. That is the most wonderful thought, isn't it? But you need to cleanse yourself of these feelings and allow yourself to heal. I stand by all that I said before and will continue to pray for you. I pray that you will look above these negative feelings and catch the positive energy that is being sent your way Holly. You must receive that power if you expect it to work FOR you. You have asked for it NOW you must actually take it IN and RECEIVE it. It is HERE....Love,gVrThank you gvr for your post. I do appreciate it. I will try my best to receive the power that is coming my way. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MormonGirl02 Posted November 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 15, 2007 Well everyone, I am once again depressed about David and I. I am hoping that time will heal all wounds and that him and I will be back together in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Mom Posted November 16, 2007 Report Share Posted November 16, 2007 Well everyone, I am once again depressed about David and I. I am hoping that time will heal all wounds and that him and I will be back together in the future.Holly-No one said it was going to be easy. You need to find something to do besides thinking of David. I have found that when I volunteer my worries seem less than I thought they were. Now's a great time to lend a hand! Find a place and go for it- lose yourself in the service of others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MormonGirl02 Posted November 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2007 Holly-No one said it was going to be easy. You need to find something to do besides thinking of David. I have found that when I volunteer my worries seem less than I thought they were. Now's a great time to lend a hand! Find a place and go for it- lose yourself in the service of others.I might do that Dr. Mom. Thanks for the advice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CourtneyP Posted November 16, 2007 Report Share Posted November 16, 2007 *hugs Holly* The ending of a relationship is never easy. And the pain doesn't go away overnight. My ex husband and I have been divorced since December 2004 and there are still times I get teary eyed and cry about our splitting up. It's been nearly 3 years now and it still hurts sometimes. But I can promise you, as one who has been in your shoes, that the pain does get easier over time. I know that right now you are hurting very badly and feel like you're at the end of your rope. I can guarantee you that there's nowhere to go but up from here. But you have to first forgive yourself for the mistake you made and seek forgiveness from God for it. If it helps, talk to your bishop about the issue and ask his advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted November 16, 2007 Report Share Posted November 16, 2007 Hi Holly, I remember the pain of dealing with boyfriend troubles well. I wish I knew then what I know now, and it is something you will learn over time too, but it does get better. I promise you that. It will take some time and someday you will be with the right person and realize how fortunate you were to end up where you are. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MormonGirl02 Posted November 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2007 *hugs Holly*The ending of a relationship is never easy. And the pain doesn't go away overnight. My ex husband and I have been divorced since December 2004 and there are still times I get teary eyed and cry about our splitting up. It's been nearly 3 years now and it still hurts sometimes. But I can promise you, as one who has been in your shoes, that the pain does get easier over time. I know that right now you are hurting very badly and feel like you're at the end of your rope. I can guarantee you that there's nowhere to go but up from here. But you have to first forgive yourself for the mistake you made and seek forgiveness from God for it. If it helps, talk to your bishop about the issue and ask his advice.Thanks Courtney for your kind words. Thank you once again. I will talk to my bishop about it on Sunday when I see him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Seraphim Posted November 16, 2007 Report Share Posted November 16, 2007 Seraphim, you obviously don't know Holly or her history. I didn't say anything that wasn't true.It doesn't matter what I know about her history. This is supposed to be a place for fellowship. Whether you think your opinion of someone is true or not, poking fun at them is not permitted here. Seraphim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MormonGirl02 Posted November 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2007 It doesn't matter what I know about her history. This is supposed to be a place for fellowship. Whether you think your opinion of someone is true or not, poking fun at them is not permitted here. SeraphimThank you Seraphim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garden Girl Posted November 18, 2007 Report Share Posted November 18, 2007 Holly... more than once I've had to cling to these words, found in Isaiah 1:18 "Come now, let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."When we repent, seriously repent, and lay our broken heart and contrite spirit before the Lord, he will remember our sins no more:D&C 58:42-43 "Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more... By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins--behold, he will confess them and forsake them." Hebrews 10:16-17 "This is the covenant I will make with them, after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them... And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more."If it were me... I'd turn this completely over to the Lord... kneel and pray to Heavenly Father... pour your heart out to him. Ask for the guidance and comfort of the Spirit, to help you do the right thing. Perhaps it time for you to let go, to not keep looking back and dreaming of getting back together again, and to just turn your attention to other things... study the scriptures... talk with the bishop and turn your face forward and look ahead. You're young... when you are a little further down the road in this, I would suggest you receive your Patriarchal Blessing... not yet, but after you've had a chance to do some fasting, praying, healing... All good wishes... The Garden Girl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MormonGirl02 Posted November 19, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2007 Holly... more than once I've had to cling to these words, found in Isaiah 1:18 "Come now, let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."When we repent, seriously repent, and lay our broken heart and contrite spirit before the Lord, he will remember our sins no more:D&C 58:42-43 "Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more... By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins--behold, he will confess them and forsake them." Hebrews 10:16-17 "This is the covenant I will make with them, after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them... And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more."If it were me... I'd turn this completely over to the Lord... kneel and pray to Heavenly Father... pour your heart out to him. Ask for the guidance and comfort of the Spirit, to help you do the right thing. Perhaps it time for you to let go, to not keep looking back and dreaming of getting back together again, and to just turn your attention to other things... study the scriptures... talk with the bishop and turn your face forward and look ahead. You're young... when you are a little further down the road in this, I would suggest you receive your Patriarchal Blessing... not yet, but after you've had a chance to do some fasting, praying, healing... All good wishes... The Garden GirlThank you The Garden Girl. I have already prayed about this but I have not yet completely turned it over to the Lord. I think that is something that I will do tonight before I go to bed. Thank you. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justlikeyou Posted January 2, 2008 Report Share Posted January 2, 2008 Hi everyone. A few weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me because he didn't have enough time to spend with me. At the time there was a chance that he'd take me back in the future. Well, I went and made a mistake (I'd rather not say what) and he can't seem to forgive me for it. I asked him if we could start over our friendship like it never happened before and he said yes so that gave me hope that he'd eventually take me back. Then today he told me he probably would not take me back in the future even if he did have more time to spend with me. I cried for a good 30 minutes and am crying again now. I bawled my eyes out and was crying so hard I was even hyperventilating. I'm so depressed that he won't take me back. Him and I were going to get married some day. He had even gotten a wedding ring for me. Now that's all over and I have to move on. Thankfully him and I are still friends. Please pray for me that my depression would go away. I'm thinking about asking for a priesthood blessing over this on Sunday.Holly,It sounds like you are blaming only yourself for the breakup. The fact is that he did not give you enough confirmationthat he also felt the same way you did. Who decided on the ring first. You. The wedding plans. You.When you saw him pulling away you pulled in harder, faster, you clung on to him and he kept on refusing youbut you just became obsessed with his approval. His forgiveness. You gave him more than your heart.Now he is cruel enough to tell you the truth. He is a man. Men are different than us. They need their space.They almost want a girl to be mean to them. They like a challenge.Don't beg for him to love you. I know you are hurting, you feel rejected and forgetten and you probablyfeel worthless. BUT NO!!! YOU are not all those things your mind would want you to believe.YOU are valueable. But no one will know this until you first of all..Repent your sins to your bishoppray for strengthREAD,READ about how men communicateits so different. Read about relationshipsthis will give you strength. You may even get him back.if you learn how. Look up Limerence on wikipedialove obsession, etc.It will teach you things you can't find in the scripturesyou need to wise up.Do not withdraw and resent or hide awayWash your face, put on some nice makeupand perfume.Nice clothes, smileand learn from thisLet me know if this helpedI have been there more than once.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMG Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 (edit: because I considered that it was very bad advice I gave, upon thinking it over.) The best advice I can give you is to pray to Heavenly Father. He'd know better how to mend your broken heart more than I ever could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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