Can You Petition To Switch Wards?

[TXRed]

I got cross-ways with a Bishop once. . . .okay, more than once and more than one Bishop. :) I've been a member now for 28 years; so I've had a few "experiences". :)

This one incident was so bad, I was sooooooo angry, I wanted to move, quit, something. . . . .anything to NOT have to deal with this Bishop. I got to the point where I had a hard time praying and going to Church. I continued to pray when I was alone though, and one morning while in the shower, I was praying about my hard feelings about this man. I begged, pleaded, and cried to HF to know what to do. I was told to go and talk to the Bishop, because he might not even realize that he had hurt my feelings.

I went straight to the Bishop that day and asked to speak with him. I explained what he had said and how I had felt about it, and I also told him how much it had affected me.

He had NO CLUE that what he said had affected me that way. He was totally in the dark. What he'd said was what he felt, and I don't think he really changed his mind about it, but when he realized that it had affected me the way it had, he apologized for that.

This man was and is a good man. He was under a great deal of pressure at the time, and when I went back to him and explained how I felt, we both were on the right track again.

It is sooooooooooooo easy to have misunderstandings and hurt feelings. My youngest came home from Church (teenager) one day ready to quit because of something the current Bishop had said. I immediately got on the phone and called the man to tell him what was going on. He was at my house almost immediately and took my daughter for a walk around the house talking to her about the problem. It was resolved with her as quickly as it had become a problem.

I wish that during those "in-between" years, I had been quicker to go confront the problem. What I've grown to learn over the years is that "moving" won't necessarily take care of the problem. There was a woman in my old ward (supposedly a close friend of mine). . . . . . . she did so much talking about my family that I heard the rumors from people in three different wards. In the beginning, I laughed it off since the rumors were soooooooo ridiculous that I didn't believe that anyone would even give them a second thought. They did, and it got to be really difficult to go to Church. . . . . you know . . . . . when people see you coming down the hall and get really quiet. Or they say things that let you know they've heard stuff. It was a very traumatic time for the entire family. That's been about 15 years ago, and I'm convinced that there are still some people who believe what they heard even though it was waaaaaaaaay ridiculous. I've grown enough though that if someone were to bring it up to me, I would simply tell them "It's never wise to believe EVERYTHING you hear."

At the time, I wished that I could just move, but we had no money to make a move and no desire to live elsewhere either.

I do now live about 2 hours away from where we use to, but before we moved, I realized that "my rumor spreading friend" could move and follow us. . . . . or. . . . . there could be another like her where we moved to. I was almost immediately called to teach in RS, and I often used my experiences to teach the lessons. I definitely can testify that this awful time did teach me a lot and help me to grow in many ways.

I love my new Ward and have been here for almost 13 years now, but guess what. . . . .there are a couple of people in this ward who can really hurt peoples feelings.

I can't fix them. . . . .I can only work on trying to "fix" me. I am definitely not perfect, but I've learned that no one else on this earth is either; so I'm trying to do all I can to work on ME.

I'm learning to be a little more understanding when someone offends me. If it offends me bad enough, I go to them and see if I can do anything to resolve the issue. If I can't do anything to resolve the problem, I turn it over to Heavenly Father.

Obviously, I still have some issues of my own to resolve or I would be a lot quicker to turn things over to HF. That needs to be one of my new year's resolutions.

Good luck with your issues. Remember, this is a learning process for you and the Bishop both.

My prayers are with you,

TXRed

[miztrniceguy]

if this were me i would probably just show up at a different ward and when(if) asked, i would say i was "just visiting"

I was wondering if there is a way to get the stake president (or someone else) to allow you to switch wards. I'm getting fed up with the ward I am in and I feel that the people there do not want me and my grandmother there. We recently had a change in the bishopric and the new bishopric is nothing like the old one. For example, one of the bishop's counselors raised his voice at my grandmother and angrily asked her to leave the bishop's office because he was busy (his face turned red he was so angry) and my grandmother was almost in tears. I reported it to the bishop and managed to get a half-hearted apology ("If what I did somehow offended you, I'm sorry") but they have still have not been the same toward us.

The bishop and his wife can be very fresh-mouthed sometimes and I tried calling him about an issue tonight at which his wife who answered the phone went on and on about how her husband had been ill, didn't feel like talking, etc. and I told her I would call back later and didn't want to disturb him then but he grabbed the phone anyway and asked what I wanted in a harsh tone. When I tried to apologize to him he said forget it and just tell me what you want, very rudely. After I told him he interrupted me and said for me to go to his secretary and make the appointment, but "it ain't gonna be tomorrow" he said real defiantly and sarcastically "because I won't be at church" after which he hung up while I was trying to wish him well with his illness.

At the ward halloween party the bishop and his wife sat at our table but would not talk to us. Even when I talked to the bishop loud and clear he would ignore me. Thankfully my grandmother met a lady at the table that talked to her.

I have had a home teacher out here only twice in the last 2.5 years. No matter how many times I ask him to come he won't. I was under the impression you had to do this service to hold a temple recommend. The visiting teacher has been out here only twice as well, and only to try to sell us a product she's peddling from some Utah MLM company. She has pestered me nonstop on a weekly basis asking me to buy this crap. She finally pestered me to the point that I attended some spiel on the product with her at a pizza parlor, at which they asked me 10 times for a credit card number no matter how many times I said no, I wouldn't buy it. "But the owner of the company goes to our church." I was told 50 times.

Also, I already mentioned this siutation on MADB: http://www.mormonapologetics.org/index.php...c=24371&hl= and because of this I feel I am being held back in terms of callings, being allowed to sing in the choir, invited to events, perform the musical prelude, etc. They do not even give me any home teaching assignments or ask me to do splits with the missionaries anymore. They even cut my calling down. I feel they are still blaming me somehow over the situation I just mentioned.

The last bishop and his counselors were great and I really enjoyed them. However, with the change in leadership and the congregations opinion of us growing different I do not feel we fit in here anymore. There is another ward that meets in the same building and two other wards that meet at a building on the other side of town, so I know there are plenty of others we could go to. I feel like the church is divided in half, there's those that are part of the "bloodline" and have been in the church for generations, and then there's the newbies and converts, and the latter are treated like second-class citizens.

I really enjoy the church and its teachings. I love reading the materials. I love attending temple. I want to stay in the church and I hope there is a way that you can petition to switch wards. If not, I would be much happier watching the service on BYUTV with Ed Pinegar on Sundays rather than enduring the abuse from these people anymore. Anyone with any info on how you go about this I would really appreciate it.

[Elgama]

I agree with previous poster, I know where you are coming from I used to feel like you do- I come from a branch which has many problems and quite frankly its no one persons - I know until I faced a straight talking member of the Stake Presidency that I played a small part in it. And Bjw from your posts its obvious you are as much to blame for what is happening as your Bishop etc are they blameless no but you can change the ward you are in by changing your attitude. And you could be part of the solution by instead of talking about the problems in your ward to people talk about the positives trust me there will be some. Right now you are not sustaining your Bishop on any level, which means you are not temple worthy.

At the point at which I was struggling - we had women arguing directly in RS, the branch president had lost any respect, missionaries were flatly refusing to bring investigators to church, I took my Stake Presidents advice which was to write positive things about everyone - the fact your Bishop apologised is a sign of a great man and sit and take notes really listen to my lessons, find ways to serve 5 people in branch with total love every week. Within a few months my branch had no problems lol I was shocked when the missionaries told me last week a lot of them still exist. But for those of us that listened to our local leaders church has become much better, and the branch has started to grow again

And no chance to serve should be derived I am merely a branch historian, but my calling when magnified is as vital to our branch as that of hymn book collector or Branch president - until you can love every calling you are in without rancor you are certainly not worthy of a calling that involves more serving and loving of the people around you - the Lord has called you to service where he thinks you can grow, if you can't magnify the one you have got what makes you think the Lord will call you to a higher one? right now you are letting your EQ down just as much as the Bishop did you that night, you are letting the people you serve down, you are letting yourself down and you are letting the Lord down.

Concerning HT/VT i know how hard it is to do it in a month so I have sympathy and just accept it with mine - and will just ask when they visit for most of my 16 years I have not had visits. But I have not been 100% with mine who am I to judge.

-Charley

[sixpacktr]

- I know until I faced a straight talking member of the Stake Presidency that I played a small part in it. And Bjw from your posts its obvious you are as much to blame for what is happening as your Bishop etc are they blameless no but you can change the ward you are in by changing your attitude. And you could be part of the solution by instead of talking about the problems in your ward to people talk about the positives trust me there will be some. Right now you are not sustaining your Bishop on any level, which means you are not temple worthy.

-Charley

Charley,

Very good observation. There is a reason the Elder Bednar gave his talk on being offended. I know that some have had bad experiences at church, and that is not good. Wrong, in fact. But we always have to remember that the person(s) we are dealing with are as imperfect as we are, and we have to be willing to forgive and forget and move on. I loved how you said to look for the positive. It really, really makes a difference.

I read a book a while back titled something like "Ties that Bind" that talks about this very thing. The basic premise of the book was this (and it is put out by a member of the church, and while he was trying to write it as a book for the general population, not necessarily a 'church book', there is a gospel slant to it. You can't help it): if you are having problems with your marriage, at your job, in relations with other people, the first person to address and change is the first person you see when you look in the mirror in the morning.

Forgiveness and mercy to others makes a HUGE impact on your outlook and your general sense of well being. As Joseph stated, and this has become one of my 'guiding stars' that I try to live my life by (not always perfectly, but I really am trying): if you don't accuse me, I won't accuse you. Maybe that is the thought process behind our Savior's admonition of judging, and being judged as we judged others...