We Finally Understand the Link between Honesty and Chastity.

[Carborendum]

I’ve made statements to the effect that truth and chastity are inseparably connected.  This was based on the metaphoric “Armor of God.”  The Girdle of Truth is often associated with chastity (protects the privates).

I had pointed to Hamlet asking if Ophelia was honest.  This was a double meaning.  He was first asking if she was being serious about giving his keepsakes back to him.  But he realized something was up, and that they were probably being spied upon.  So, he took it a different way.  He turned it into a question about her chastity.

A man who got a woman pregnant needed to marry her which would “make an honest man out of him." 

Pres Kimball wrote of the relationship between honesty and chastity very briefly in The Miracle of Forgiveness.

Even with all that, I recognized that in our generation, we don’t quite seem to understand what honesty & chastity have to do with one another.  Part of that is modern religion.  Part of that is modern culture.

Jordan Peterson said,”Sex has never been free.  There were always consequences.  Casual sex is a myth.  There is always some sort of emotional exchange and bond formed.”

He brought up the idea that children are always a possible consequence of casual sex.  With today’s wide and affordable access to contraceptives, there does appear to be a crack in the wall.  But because we’ve only had both cheap contraceptives and widespread casual sex in the culture for maybe one generation, we don’t have enough data to determine if that really changes anything.  So, it is too early to tell if this technology changes thousands of years of history and evolution or not.

Recently, I’ve done a lot of learning about male-female relationships in today’s society.  One thing that had me worried was why my children and all my nieces and nephews were having such difficulty finding an eternal companion.  I count 14 young adults of marriageable age. Only three are married. One solidly moving toward engagement.  One more has a prospect, but the more I observe that one, the more misgivings that relationship is generating.  We’ll see.

Many of these young adults are finding it difficult to find someone who is even interested in getting married.  One of them has no interest in finding a girl because of the maneaters out there.  He doesn’t know if he can find a girl that won’t just destroy him like two of his uncles have experienced.  He is a textbook hermit. 

He works from home with a fine paying job.  And he’s looking to double his income by taking a few more classes.  He’s making a lot of money, has few expenses.  And he is a savvy investor.  He’ll probably be a millionaire by 30.  But what woman out there is going to be his proper match and value an eternal marriage?

We see declarations of such “strong-independent-modern-women” (SIMW) who don’t need a man, but still expect her man to make more than she does to prove he’s worthy of her.  Really?  What logic generates that?

These SIMW only look for rich SIMPs.  But if a man is really all-that then why would he want a woman who will walk all over him?  SIMW want to lead except for the times that she is tired of leading.  Then she expects the SIMP to immediately take the reins and know exactly what to do and make all the right decisions that she must eventually approve of.  Are they being honest with themselves?

SIMW goes to gyms with barely anything on and sets up her exercise station directly in front of a man who has been working out for the last 10 minutes.  Then she raises a stink about how he’s checking her out.  Is this honest behavior?

SIMW decides that she no longer needs a man and divorces him because she wants to lead her “authentic life” for real fulfillment.  And BTW, she wants joint custody with 100% child support and a ton of alimony.  Is she for real?

SIMW refuses to get married until she can find a man with $300k income, over 6ft tall, and is a 10.  She believes this is possible because that is what social media says she can do.  Nevermind that she has never gone to the gym, herself, and she has a seriously high body-count, and she doesn’t even make $30k/yr.  Is her head screwed on straight?  She wouldn’t know truth if it hit her in the face.  No, social media says she's a 10 and can bag any man.  No problem.

Now, what about men?  When women behave like this, it is all too easy for men to forsake marriage.  Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

Where is commitment?  What is commitment?  Men just take what they can get whenever they can.  But now we see a lot of men leaving the dating/marriage market entirely because they know that they always get the shaft.  From me too fraud to divorce always favoring the woman (especially no-fault divorce) men know what a high risk merely dating can be, let alone marriage.  Why?  Because there is no trust.  No one is honest anymore.

Honesty is always linked to chastity.  If your chosen partner has a high body count, then how can you trust them?  They never made a commitment about the most intimate decision of their lives.  They chose intimacy and made it like playing a video game.  It’s just something you do when you have the time.  You can take it and leave it.

If you’re flippant about committing to intimacy, then you’re flippant about committing to anything.

BIOLOGY: Oxytocin has been called the “cuddling hormone.”  A great deal of it is released during intercourse.  It is not merely a sexual high.  It is an emotional bonding high.  It is also released when mothers nurse their babies, so it is not just a sexual thing.

When we engage in intercourse so often without even really considering a relationship, our very biology is getting screwed up.  The oxytocin is trying to tell you that the person that you just shared this with needs to be with you.  You need to stay.  You need to commit to a relationship.  When we ignore and treat casually such biological signals, it messes with our entire psychology related to commitment and keeping promises.

This is why Balaam was able to destroy the children of Israel by sending in the loose women to tempt the men away.  There is never any such thing as casual sex.  There is always a consequence.  And refusing to acknowledge that consequence/responsibility is dishonest.

It doesn’t matter if we avoid tyrannical government.  Hollywood already introduced casual sex into this society when I was a kid.  Yes, there was always some of it in any society.  But "society" at least knew it was wrong.  It wasn’t until the 80s where it started being considered acceptable behavior.  And it was during the Friends era that it became expected.

When society stopped being honest, we were all ready to listen to any politician tell us anything. And we'd believe it.  Not because we had confirmation by the Holy Ghost, but because it was pleasing to our ears.  And pleasure without responsibility is all we wanted.

Edited January 11 by Carborendum