Views on marriage?

[Rozalie_Marie]

This topic is also a stumbling-block for me. I am drawn to the LDS faith, and I am married. I have difficulty believing that Heavenly Father would not allow me to be with Him, or I would somehow be in a "lower" heaven, simply because I chose to stay committed to a husband I love deeply. I know he'll never convert. I will honor him and my vows to him till death. Why should keeping my marriage covenant to him and to God in this life prevent me from reaching the Celestial Kingdom? It is my utter disbelief in the unfairness of this that keeps me from baptism.

[Brother Dorsey]

This topic is also a stumbling-block for me. I am drawn to the LDS faith, and I am married. I have difficulty believing that Heavenly Father would not allow me to be with Him, or I would somehow be in a "lower" heaven, simply because I chose to stay committed to a husband I love deeply. I know he'll never convert. I will honor him and my vows to him till death. Why should keeping my marriage covenant to him and to God in this life prevent me from reaching the Celestial Kingdom? It is my utter disbelief in the unfairness of this that keeps me from baptism.

Hi, actually you don't have to be sealed to anyone to reach the Celestial kingdom. You do however need to be sealed to someone to be exalted in the Celestial kingdom.

Rozalie.....have faith in the Lord...when you take on the name of Christ in all you do and live faithfully He will soften the heart of those you love. It may take some time and it may not happen in this lifetime but in the world to come, but it will happen. Your Husband will be a member of the Lord's kingdom and you and he will be sealed for eternity. Have faith in the Lord....He knows your desires, He knows your heart, He loves you. Just ask Him.

[Guest Malcolm]

This topic is also a stumbling-block for me. I am drawn to the LDS faith, and I am married. I have difficulty believing that Heavenly Father would not allow me to be with Him, or I would somehow be in a "lower" heaven, simply because I chose to stay committed to a husband I love deeply. I know he'll never convert. I will honor him and my vows to him till death. Why should keeping my marriage covenant to him and to God in this life prevent me from reaching the Celestial Kingdom? It is my utter disbelief in the unfairness of this that keeps me from baptism.

Rosalie:

I understand your situation quite well. And I know how difficult it must be for you to feel the need to get closer to God and feeling that your husband does not share the same interest.

Here is the issue, and I say this just by way of expanding on the issue rather than being judgmental. The Lord will forgive just about everything (do not deny the Holy Ghost or kill any one, please) if we truly seek repentance. But He will not spare us the consequences. That is not punishment but the outcome of our behavior and choices. Remember, we are ALL accountable for what we know and what we do with that knowledge. I am not sure if you were a member before marriage or if you converted after. That makes a difference. But if you married a non-member then the effect of that decision is that you may have forfeited eternal rewards that come from following the word and commandments of the Lord.

What we feel and believe are often the result of the our human/earthly existence. God can not make exceptions otherwise mercy would rob justice. If a person, hypothetically speaking, makes a decision to drink 1 glass of wine during a business meal. On the way back to the office gets into an accident where there are serious injuries and the blood alcohol level is above the legal limit; you will be charged with DUI and other crimes. You will have to answer to the law and even if the penalty is not extreme consequences will follow. It does not matter that you NEVER drank before, it does not matter that you only had ONE glass of wine and you were otherwise a law abiding model citizen. The law must be satisfied.

If due to your choice (even when you knew and understood the Gospel) by marrying a non-member fail to teach you children the Gospel, they never learn of Christ and the ordinances of salvation, their children run the same fate and so on. I wonder if your argument of preferring companionship and affection over the kingdom of God and exaltation would get you very far. The example seems harsh but I rather awake your sense of responsibility than offer you a hope I can not be certain of. Rationalization and denial serves us, humans very well but avails us nothing before the Judgment Bar.

Our Heavenly Father loves us, provided the Atenoment of His Son so that we may repent, learn His truth and follow His ways. But he can not save us in our sins (transgressions, rebellion, disobedience, acting contrary to revelation), He can not spare the consequences that are afixed when we chose that which is contrary to His will.

I do hope that you would love your husband with all your heart and mind and do not spare time, effort, attention, service and humility in dealing with him. I am not sure how strong your testimony is, but you must love God first and that love and alliance must be true and tested first before all other thing would be added unto it. You do not have to argue with your husband, antagonize with him or disrespect him. But you do have to make your faith manifest and perfected by your works. Loving God has to be evident and manifest, it can not be a private/secret exercise.

My love goes out to you.

[Rozalie_Marie]

Rosalie:

I understand your situation quite well. And I know how difficult it must be for you to feel the need to get closer to God and feeling that your husband does not share the same interest.

Here is the issue, and I say this just by way of expanding on the issue rather than being judgmental. The Lord will forgive just about everything (do not deny the Holy Ghost or kill any one, please) if we truly seek repentance. But He will not spare us the consequences. That is not punishment but the outcome of our behavior and choices. Remember, we are ALL accountable for what we know and what we do with that knowledge. I am not sure if you were a member before marriage or if you converted after. That makes a difference. But if you married a non-member then the effect of that decision is that you may have forfeited eternal rewards that come from following the word and commandments of the Lord.

What we feel and believe are often the result of the our human/earthly existence. God can not make exceptions otherwise mercy would rob justice. If a person, hypothetically speaking, makes a decision to drink 1 glass of wine during a business meal. On the way back to the office gets into an accident where there are serious injuries and the blood alcohol level is above the legal limit; you will be charged with DUI and other crimes. You will have to answer to the law and even if the penalty is not extreme consequences will follow. It does not matter that you NEVER drank before, it does not matter that you only had ONE glass of wine and you were otherwise a law abiding model citizen. The law must be satisfied.

If due to your choice (even when you knew and understood the Gospel) by marrying a non-member fail to teach you children the Gospel, they never learn of Christ and the ordinances of salvation, their children run the same fate and so on. I wonder if your argument of preferring companionship and affection over the kingdom of God and exaltation would get you very far. The example seems harsh but I rather awake your sense of responsibility than offer you a hope I can not be certain of. Rationalization and denial serves us, humans very well but avails us nothing before the Judgment Bar.

Our Heavenly Father loves us, provided the Atenoment of His Son so that we may repent, learn His truth and follow His ways. But he can not save us in our sins (transgressions, rebellion, disobedience, acting contrary to revelation), He can not spare the consequences that are afixed when we chose that which is contrary to His will.

I do hope that you would love your husband with all your heart and mind and do not spare time, effort, attention, service and humility in dealing with him. I am not sure how strong your testimony is, but you must love God first and that love and alliance must be true and tested first before all other thing would be added unto it. You do not have to argue with your husband, antagonize with him or disrespect him. But you do have to make your faith manifest and perfected by your works. Loving God has to be evident and manifest, it can not be a private/secret exercise.

My love goes out to you.

I certainly understand where you are coming from, and know that there are consequences to all my actions. However, comparing my marriage and vows to God to a drunk-driving accident seems a bit beyond the pale. I know that you believe my marriage is for time only, and therefore not as “worthy” as one of your Temple marriages, but you don’t have the right to reduce it to something so disgusting. If I truly believed that marriage was only for affection or companionship, then this situation would not trouble me so much.

I've also been keenly aware lately of all the ways that I am not "manifesting" my love for God in my actions. Sometimes I don’t blame my husband for his disinterest, if I am to be an example for what loving God looks like. That is the one prayer that God answers more quickly than all others...show me where I need to improve! I am such an introvert, and it has been difficult to apply what I learn in real life, or to make the gospel change me...a secret Christian life is a useless one. I think I'm just coming to the realization that you can't "make" the gospel change you...especially if you are either unintentionally or intentionally disobedient.

I am a non-LDS woman who has recently dedicated her life to Christ, after marriage. I married a man from a "Christian" family, and I am from a "Christian" family. However, in both of our upringings, Christianity is more of a culture than a medium to bring one closer to God. I have been as guilty of this in the past as anyone I know. Practically speaking, this means it's ok to say you follow and believe in God, and do all the churchy things to be socially acceptable, but you're weird if you actually take it seriously or seek a real relationship with God that would transform you into anything but "normal". This is where my hubby is at. The first time I felt an incredible connection to God was on my wedding day. My vows were my first heartfelt prayer, yet I do not believe I came to a saving knowledge of Christ till later.

I have investigated the Church off and on since I was a teen, along with many other faiths. It has taken me a good twelve years to actually come to a place where I can accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I use my head over my heart. If I had just put the books down and actually prayed, I bet I would have recognized that I am a child of God a lot sooner. Do I wish I had come to Him sooner? Yes! But I believe that Heavenly Father has His own timing too...and I learned what I had to learn from the process...and will continue to do so.

I continually feel drawn to the LDS faith. I don't know why, exactly. I wrote papers on it in college, have used pioneer journals in my historical research, and feel spiritually uplifted every time I hear a testimony, listen to a hymn, or read anything associated with the church.

I've read all the anti stuff, everything on exmormon.org, utlm.org, and many other sites. So what. It's their experiences, not mine. You can talk yourself into or out of anything you wish, but you must go where your heart lies. We’ll all be accountable to God in the end.

Do I have serious concerns about the historicity of the BOM and BOA? Yes. I can't prove Jonah and the whale either. Even if the BOM is fiction, the life lessons in the stories help me with my walk with God. I really don’t care if it is fiction, God speaks through human imagination too. I know some will disagree with me, but that is just where I'm at right now.

Even before I became familiar with the Church, I instinctively believed in a premortal existence, and the fact that we are all literal sons and daughters of Heavenly Father and Mother. Although, I do not understand why the LDS church does not allow people to pray to both Parents.

I also believe strongly that marriage is eternal, and did before coming to a knowledge of LDS beliefs, despite the fact that there are verses in the NT that seem to contradict that belief.

So here I stand. The Church shares my belief in a premortal existence, but may to some degree believe that I was less valiant in the preexistence because I was not BIC. I believe in my Heavenly Parents, but if I join the LDS Church, I can’t talk to my Mother anymore if I wish to be obedient to the leaders. I believe that marriage and family is for eternity for those that come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ (I believe there is enough reference to humans keeping their identities after death to infer this) but if I join the Church, I have to accept the additional belief that only LDS members sealed in the temple stay together forever. I can't honestly believe that LDS marriages are the only ones that last, or that the LDS people are the only ones that are exalted.

I suppose I could stick with my personal beliefs and not care what the LDS church thinks. Yet I can’t help but find it unusual that this is the only church I’ve found that shares some of my unique beliefs. At least I’ve found them unique, in comparison to other Christians.

I think I'll copy some of this to the intro board.

Rozalie

[Guest Malcolm]

Rozalie:

The example was not to compare your marriage. It was designed to point tot he fact that a ONE time event can have extreme consequences. My apologies if you felt I was comparing your situation. Perhaps not enough background information was offered and I extrapolated from what little was there.

Faith and salvation are very personal. You will only be accountable for your own actions and the Lord will always reward your faithfulness for he knows the desires of your heart. Since you have the desire to seek his truth he will unfold it onto you. Hope and faith on your part can make all the difference in the world when it comes to your husband. do not underestimate the power of prayer and of the Holy Ghost to change hearts. The Book of Mormon if full of example of people that were less that outstanding citizens and later became mighty before the Lord. have faith and pursue the feelings of your heart, do not ignore those promptings. Rest assured, the Lord will exalt you according to your faith and righteousness. There is no question on the subject.

Once more, my sincere apology. I did believe you were LDS but I stand corrected. I always strive to speak the truth although I recognize at times it could be harsh and less than appealing. I loften fee that because the Lord has given us so much we should be held to a higher standard of accountability. We are commanded the be a light on a hill and the salt of the earth. It breaks my heart when I see some among us, even our friends, fall prey to the enemy because of our faith falters.

Pray and seek the truth. Open your scriptures and allow the spirit to whisper to your heart comfirmation of what you may already know.

I wish my words offer some comfort and hope for the future. Do not despair. Time is on your side.

[Rozalie_Marie]

Rozalie:

The example was not to compare your marriage. It was designed to point tot he fact that a ONE time event can have extreme consequences. My apologies if you felt I was comparing your situation. Perhaps not enough background information was offered and I extrapolated from what little was there.

Faith and salvation are very personal. You will only be accountable for your own actions and the Lord will always reward your faithfulness for he knows the desires of your heart. Since you have the desire to seek his truth he will unfold it onto you. Hope and faith on your part can make all the difference in the world when it comes to your husband. do not underestimate the power of prayer and of the Holy Ghost to change hearts. The Book of Mormon if full of example of people that were less that outstanding citizens and later became mighty before the Lord. have faith and pursue the feelings of your heart, do not ignore those promptings. Rest assured, the Lord will exalt you according to your faith and righteousness. There is no question on the subject.

Once more, my sincere apology. I did believe you were LDS but I stand corrected. I always strive to speak the truth although I recognize at times it could be harsh and less than appealing. I loften fee that because the Lord has given us so much we should be held to a higher standard of accountability. We are commanded the be a light on a hill and the salt of the earth. It breaks my heart when I see some among us, even our friends, fall prey to the enemy because of our faith falters.

Pray and seek the truth. Open your scriptures and allow the spirit to whisper to your heart comfirmation of what you may already know.

I wish my words offer some comfort and hope for the future. Do not despair. Time is on your side.

I also apologize for my defensiveness. You hit a nerve, as you can tell. I know my unworthiness, yet I believe with God's help I can change. I need to work on the beam in my own eye before acting holier than thou around my husband.

Thank you for your kind words.

Rozalie

[WANDERER]

The Church shares my belief in a premortal existence, but may to some degree believe that I was less valiant in the preexistence because I was not BIC.

Rozalie, does BIC stand for born in the church? Paul definitely wasn't. See history of Joseph Smith or the early members of the Mormon church. Less valiant doesn't come to mind.

I'm not LDS. In the Bible and the BoM there are women who didn't have a temple marriage. Forfeiting eternal rewards doesn't come to mind.

But as an LDS member it would be an issue I agree.

[Misshalfway]

The Church shares my belief in a premortal existence, but may to some degree believe that I was less valiant in the preexistence because I was not BIC.

Rozalie, does BIC stand for born in the church? Paul definitely wasn't. See history of Joseph Smith or the early members of the Mormon church. Less valiant doesn't come to mind.

I'm not LDS. In the Bible and the BoM there are women who didn't have a temple marriage. Forfeiting eternal rewards doesn't come to mind.

But as an LDS member it would be an issue I agree.

I think this is where temple work comes in. Every soul who didn't have access to or a testimony of these things will get the opportunity to have access to every blessing and ordinance that the Lord has to offer. Much in the way of temple work will be done during the millenium and in the end every soul will have opportunity and access blessings of Exaltation.

[grannysue]

My mom was married to her non-member husband for 30 years before he converted to the Church. We never had a clue that such a thing would happen, but he went through a big health crisis in his life and ended up turning to the Church.

I guess what I'm saying is that you never know what can happen! He is now a member of the bishpric, and he used to be so shy he avoided groups. Now he is shaking hands up and down the aisles and giving hugs to people.

It's amazing, truly.