johnnylingo

If you are only seeing each other in a group setting, then I don't really see why any parents would have a serious problem, even if you are 14. That said, I know this rule about waiting until your 16 may seem arbitrary and restrictive, but it's really for your own protection and benefit. No teenager wants to be told "You're too young, you're not ready yet," but surely you recognize that at 16, 19, or 22, you'll be a wiser, more responsible, more mature man who is better capable of handling relationships.

I'm 5'2" and this is also a problem for me. For pants, I often buy skinny jeans/pants because it doesn't matter where the knee hits- unlike bootleg or flared jeans. I also shop in the boys department, or the petite section of Banana Republic (Which is quite inexpensive when you buy on sale, and I really enjoy the style and selection).

To be really honest, I asked this question because I'm worried about dating people my family, friends, and co-workers will think are beneath me. I'd like to follow my own advice- but it's hard when I want them to approve of the person I'm seeing. It's also my own superfical self- I don't want to date just anyone because I judge other people based on who they're with. After I saw a man in my ward date a few girls who I felt were less conventionally attractive, it devalued him just a tiny bit in my eyes, and I don't want the same to happen to me. I know this is shallow and it shouldn't matter- but it seems the alternative is "date everything that breathes and holds a temple recommend."

I want to get married. And for a woman in a YSA ward, there is a lot of pressure to do this before you reach 30. So how do you reconcile the church's advice (basically, date anything that breathes and holds a temple recommend), versus the world's advice (look for someone rich, and educated, and charismatic, and good looking)? What's the difference between being superficial with overly high expectations, and being desperate and pathetic? If you like somebody, and they are a 'good' member, should that be enough? Or is it important that you be equals in terms money, education, looks, etc.?

Thanks for all of the comments. It just seems like loud, outgoing extroverts have the advantage in everything, be it dating, or job hunting, or just getting what they want. I feel like I do have a lot of positive qualities, but that they won't really help me get married because I am shy.

I had a lot of difficulty integrating into my YSA ward. After two years, lots of effort, and a priesthood blessing later, I now have very good friends. But, I feel like the ward continues to be unwelcoming to strangers. It bothered me this Sunday, when I tried to introduce an investigator to various people in the ward, with mixed results. Being shy, it was a real struggle for me to build friendships. I don't want new members or investigators to struggle that much, or worse, to feel slighted and just stop coming to church. Besides trying my best (despite my own shyness) to be a friendly person, is there anything else I can do to cultivate a more welcoming atmosphere in my ward?

Maybe your bishop felt it was something best handled by yourself?? Anyway, it takes two people to fight, and you can chose not to fight. You can chose to forgive those who have wronged you, do your best to avoid difficult people, let others have their way when it doesn't infringe on your rights, sincerely apologize for things you might have handled better, and even bake a plate of cookies with a note saying something like "I know we've had our differences in the past, this is something I really regret, and hopefully we can start over." Yes, it is completely unfair that you should be the one to repair everything while the other person does nothing, and no, it isn't right that you should be the one to "conform"- but you should still chose not to fight. Holding on to your anger and delaying rebuilding relationships will only hurt yourself.

Call his parents and tell them what he is up to.

I don't want to minimize a serious problem, but don't beat yourself up! This is not an unusual problem for a 16 year old boy, and once every two weeks hardly seems like a major addiction. Reading your scriptures and telling your bishop are good, but you can also tackle the computer problem (I'm assuming kids today use computers, right?). Move your computer out of your room and into the common areas of your house (you can tell your parents you feel you're wasting too much time or that you're addicted to World of Warcraft or something). If you're home alone with a computer, get out of the house. Mow some lawns, get a job, volunteer, offer to babysit your siblings, go to a public library or pool, or skateboard, or something.

Thanks! For a moment I was feeling a little defective. (I'm a woman, even though my username is johnnylingo)

I feel like I'll never get married because I'm so shy. Others ladies can flirt. They can ask a guy to dance, or at least make eye contact and smile until somebody asks them. They can talk to the guys they like without their mind going competely blank, and they can build friendships before relationships. Can anybody relate, or have any advice?? (I've attended a YSA ward for around two years, and the only time I was ever asked out, was the only time I was accidentally loud and flirty)

Thanks for your advice! My roommate moved out, and we left on bad terms. She was out of town for 8 months, and now she's back for the summer. I'll be seeing her at church every Sunday, and I don't know how to act. I don't know if I should ignore her, or sit with her if she's alone, or do something in the middle. Maybe I should talk to my bishop about this? My shyness, and the social awkwardness of the situation, have completely blinded me from what I want to do, or should do. Part of me is selfish, can't stand the thought of someone disliking me, wanting to appear gracious and forgiving and humble. Part of me thinks that ignoring someone at church violates the spirit of love and goodwill you should be going in. But most of all, I'm just too nervous to do anything.

This kid already knows his friend has two mothers. What exactly is he being exposed to? These women are engaging in something we consider a sin. Other heterosexual parents may also be committing sins: viewing pornography, cheating on their taxes. The sins of smoking and drinking can be seen in restaurants or in the street. I hope wonder if this boy is being exposed to these sins, or the people who commit them. While we don't have to be exposed to sin, we eventually learn that it exists, and what forms it takes. And sadly, sadly, sadly, that does start at 8.

I no longer want to be friends with a former roommate, but I will be seeing her at church. Is it possible to truly forgive someone, but not be their friend? Can it be called forgiveness if the only thing you feel comfortable saying to them is "hello"? My roommate can be charming and personable, but I think it'll be better for me not to interact with her in any way....

Please help! I'm a 23 year old woman and I moved into a singles ward for the first time this year, for school. I feel like nobody likes me in the ward. It's hard for me to make friends because a few years ago, I had social anxiety (fear of people and social situations so intense I wouldn't answer the phone/stayed at home for days). I'm a lot better now, and I've stopped taking medication and seeing a psychiatrist, but I'm still a little awkward around people. I think though, that I've made a big effort this year to be friendly, introduce myself, chat with others, go to activities. I even have LDS roommates. But nobody invites me to their house, or sits with me in church, or seems to reciprocate my friendliness. What am I doing wrong? How do I make friends? Should I talk to my bishop about social anxiety and loneliness??? What could he do about it? And can I talk about this in fast and testimony meeting??? A few months ago, a woman talked about overcoming severe depression, and I admired her courage and openness. Now I want to talk about my problems, partly because I want to have courage and openness too, partly to explain any behaviour that might have seemed cold/snobbish, partly to make everyone in my ward feel guilty for not having been nice to me. What do you think about this??