lilered

You might be a mormon if you've ever referred to a friend as your "Companion." You might be a mormon if you have ever inadvertently addressed your boss or coworkers as brother or sister. You might be a mormon if you have ever blessed cake, cookies or donuts saying, "Please bless this food that it will strengthen and nourish our bodies." You might be a mormon if you have ever used the phrase "With every fiber of my being." You might be a mormon if all your dishes have your name written on masking tape. You might be a mormon if you have something stuck to your refrigerator for every time you have attended Relief Society. You might be a mormon if you have geese or cow decorations anywhere in your kitchen. You might be a mormon if you think toys are a normal part of any landscaping. You might be a mormon if you've ever refused a coke although it's 105 degrees outside. You might be a mormon if you know a 300 lb woman who doesn't drink coke because it may cause her to be unhealthy. You might be a mormon if you have no idea who ever said Mormons shouldn't drink coke. You might be a mormon if you received baby clothes at a bridal shower (and didn't need them -honest- but you were really excited to get them.) You might be a mormon if you have to lock your car in the church parking lot to keep it from being filled with zucchini, tomatoes, and egg plants.

You might be a mormon if one of your cars is a mini-van and the other one is a large van.

You might be a mormon if you take your boy camping behind the church.

You might be a mormon if you speak in front of 200 people while burping your baby!

Years ago it used to be "Wait a year" after death or divorce", however, now it is viewed as acceptable to date once the divorce is final.

Geez, it getting worse. When I went to school it was 3 out of 1!

Things that came to my mind while reading your post. How long have you been a member? How long have you had the Aaronic Priesthood? What have you done to excersise your Priesthood since having it? Do you fully understand what the Priesthood is and its purpose? Are you reading the scriptures and attend Priesthood on a regular basis? I would recommend thinking about the answers to these questions and then ask to speak to the Ward Bishop!

No.

That is why it is so important to continue to pray for guidance to strengthen you in abiding by the counsel you have been given. Remember also that the family unit is the center of the Plan of Happiness and as such, Satan wants to destroy that. He also has the power to influence you so this may be why you are feeling the way you are.

Never Argue with a Woman One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap... Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, And begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?') 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.' 'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden. 'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.' 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

I don't think Wingnut really knew, she was just winging it.

Retirement Dinner A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: 'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'... Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk: 'I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.' Moral :Never, Never, Never Be Late

In cases like this I believe it wise to ask "What would Jesus do"? In this case, I feel positive that he would advise your girlfriend to repent, and sin no more and he will forget her sins. To you he would say, I will forgive whom I will, but you must forgive and forget. Your girlfriend has been open and honest with you. You ask a very personal question and she gave you a very personal honest answer. if you can manage to honestly forgive her, stand by her while she goes thru the repentance process (whatever that may be as dictated by her Bishop), and grow together during this time, there is little doubt, that you both will make a great marriage couple. This is an awesome opportunity for you to stand up and be a potential loving companion and perhaps a loving husband. Pray my friend for the Lords help.

We had a stickup in our High School. One of my high school friends sneaked into the girls restroom and covered the toilet seats with clear Kayro Syrup. The boys thought it was hilarious when the screams started, the girls thought it was awful. The Principal was not pleased but never did find out who really done it.

Quote of the Day > "Make no mistake, tax cheaters cheat us all, and the > IRS should enforce our > laws to the letter. " > > ~ Sen. Tom Daschle, Congressional Record, May 7, 1998

I guess I have a little different perspective. Even given the inconsistiences in the Bible, we have the BM, PGP, and DC. These all testify of Jesus Christ, we know by reading them what we must do, to gain eternal life. We know we must go to the temple, etc.. We have inspired leaders to give us periodic counsel as members. Bottom Line we have the means to gain suffiecent knowledge to enter the Celestial Kingdom if we but put that knowledge into practice. So, why is then so important to spend the energy as a member in developing these inconsistencies?

Thank goodness my wife is a power shopper. She has saved me so much money by purchasing everything on sale. Sometimes she get 50 % to 75% off when shopping at Dillards or Maceys. We must have millions saved up over the years. In fact, I am not aware of anything she ever purchased that she didn't save me money. Now if I can just figure out where all this saved money is, we should be okay thru these tough times. On a serious note, we live on a huge lake and this past summer, a majority of the boaters simply hung around their dock or parked in a cove somewhere for the day and swam etc. as oppossed to running their boats wide open pulling skiers etc. They also packed lunches and fixed their own meals compared to going to a restaurant on the water. Additionally, they packed gas from home as oppossed to buying it on the lake for a $1.00 more per gallon.

What is the difference between evil people and bad people? Example: Was Cain evil or bad or both?

A middle-aged woman Seemed sheepish as she Visited her gynecologist. 'Come now,' coaxed the doctor, 'you've been seeing me for years. There's nothing you can't tell me.' 'This one's kind of strange...' 'Let me be the judge of that,'The doctor replied. 'Well,' she said, 'yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies.' 'I see.' 'That afternoon I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl.' 'That night,' she went on, 'I went again, Plink-plink-plink, and there were dimes and this morning there were quarters! You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!' she implored. 'I'm scared out of my wits!' The gynecologist put a comforting Hand on her shoulder. 'There, there, it's nothing to be scared about.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (Ready for this?) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (I'm warning you.....) 'You're simply going through the change! :wackokid:

We are given directions by God in Moroni 10: 3-5 on how to determine for ourselves whether or not the B M is true. I can still remember my own expierence many years ago to put these simple directions to the test. I have since found that this continues to be the one of the best ways to strenthen ones testimony.

Ode to Pam; Pam is so neat She is so grand Able to Moderate Using only one hand She is so cool Even with Trolls She knows the difference Between Good and evil souls She can be nice She can be kind She is smart She has a great mind But break the forum rules Or post something sleazy You'll quickly find out She sure ain't easy.

What I have noticed in returning to my H.S. reunions? Many of the ones that you would have thought would be successful, were not. Many that were strong in the church during High School, have become very inactive, Many of the ones that you would have thought would end up in jail, turned out to be highly succesful and are very active. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Many of us have been led back on the straight and narrow path by marrying a good woman. At least that is my story.

My wife and I went to different schools together too. She went to Penn State & I went to State Pen:D My best subjects in school were Study Hall and Recess.

Pale: I am not sure my mom would have let me play with you when you were young:ohnoyoudont:

Pelosi is a man? That explains a lot? I always thought she got hit with an ugly stick when she was small?