Starfish

My son lives in CA and has been actively promoting Prop 8. And his car has been keyed.

I dated my boyfriend for 2 years before his mission. We definately were in love and it nearly killed me to say goodbye. We got married after he got home--yes some couples do make it! His mission brought many blessings to our marriage--which is a huge understatement. It was worth every homesick and lonely minute. I also was blessed while he was gone because I had two great years at Ricks (now BYUI). It's none of my business, but it worries me that your girlfriend is living at your house. This is dangerous--yes I remember the hormones. Satan will do all he can to keep you from going and one slip up could end the mission plans. The arguments you're having also are worrisome, not all relationships deal with this problem. So for the health of your relationship, two years apart would be extremely good for you. It gives you both time to grow up. Btw, where are you going?

Yes, you are so right. Thank goodness we have the Spirit to direct us, because there definately are exceptions.

I appreciate your feelings on this, and I apologize to TheLutheran for anything they may have found unfriendly, or negative. My comment was unnecessary in my response to his/her post. However, I stand by what I said. I wrote "a young man who turned down the chance to serve a mission", and this does not include converts. If they never had the opportunity, then they had nothing to turn down. We all know Pres. Monson never served a mission, because he didn't have the opportunity. And we all can safely assume that if possible, he would have gone. Yes, people make mistakes, especially in their youth. However, a girl's choice for a husband is so important because she is choosing the father of her future children. Will she want her sons to serve a mission someday? Will she want her children to know their parents chose to follow the Prophet? If their dad chose not to go and still turned out fine, so to speak, will this lessen the sons reasons or motivation to go? Maybe. It's a risk. I would advise my daughter to wait for the best, and to be worthy of him also. Wait for a young man who puts God first in his life. Who chooses to keep all the commandments. It's the responsibility and duty of every LDS young man to serve a mission, if at all possible. Our prophet said this. Disobeying the prophet is a red flag on his testimony and commitment to God. Kind of important. Also, a mission isn't the only criteria in choosing a spouse, of course. You're right that there are some less-desirables who are RM's. But choosing not to go still sends a huge message. It sets an example to one's future children. Yes, there are exceptions, and I'd rely heavily upon the Spirit, before marriage.

I wasn't talking about your daughter when I mentioned my daughter, and I should have been more clear than I was. I was stressing how important missionary service is to us and sometimes forget who I'm talking to. Writing letters to him is the best support. As far as money, I'd ask his parents. A lot depends on where he is. Thanks for your support for your daughter's friend. You seem like very nice people.:)

I really didn't mean to be condescending and I worried you'd take it that way. Not really understanding the Gospel is not an insult. Most of us don't fully understand it. I've spend many years increasing my understanding and have a long way to go. Forcing anyone to be LDS is pointless. But we are responsible to teach our children truth after which they do have agency to accept or reject it. No you don't really understand it. How could you? You've never been a member--or maybe you have--I don't know. You've never been to the temple? Have you read and reread the scriptures and prayed for understanding? Have you listened to every word in General Conference and applied it to your life? I'm not judging you, just pointing out that you can't expect to really understand the Gospel/Plan of Salvation without a lifetime of study. I've been studying the Gospel for decades and continue to learn new things. And I continue to learn how much I DON'T know. We learn bit by bit. But I have learned enough that I know we are better with the Gospel than without. I've seen how it changes people for the better. I've experienced the blessings. So to say it doesn't matter if your children embrace the Gospel or not, says you don't really know what life is like with it, very well. Oh, btw, the statement "good little LDS members" is a bit condescending.

That says that neither you nor your wife really understands the Gospel.

Another thought is the Book of Mormon, itself. Joseph is responsible for bringing this book forth through translation, which has changed the lives of millions. You might consider reading it, because if Joseph did write it himself as the world claims, what would be his motive? The book itself might shed some light on that question.

I personally like "A History of Joseph Smith by His Mother Lucy Mack Smith". Of course his mother would be biased, but she was there and saw it with her own eyes. Also, does anyone know if the movie they're currently showing in the Joseph Smith Memorial in SL, about Joseph Smith, is available elsewhere? It's quite good.

I've known four non-LDS men who married LDS women, allowed her to raise their children in the Church, and eventually were baptized after the children were grown. One man was baptized and went to the temple within a year of his death. We all rejoiced when they joined the Church, especially their families. However, due to the long example of their dad, some of the children of these homes are inactive/non-members today. Would they be active if their dad had been LDS when he raised them? Don't know. However, these men probably deal with self-blame and regret, whether justified or not, because of the situation of these children, their children, and an entire line of posterity.

I've never served a mission, but I sent my boyfriend off on one many years ago, and married him when he got home. Also I sent three sons on missions. May I answer a few of your questions? If your daughter's boyfriend goes, it will be the best decision of his life. A mission produces maturity, humility, and wisdom, that can't be equaled any other way. I KNOW how tough it is to say goodbye, but to stand in his way and inhibit this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is a great tragedy. There are only a few "rules" that I can think of. First of all, no phone calls, other than twice a year, which he gets to make to his family. Send letters. I wrote to my boyfriend twice a week for the entire two years. That was probably over the top, once a week is plenty. But they live for their mail. His family will use email, but for most missions this is not allowed for anyone other than family. Actually a letter in her handwriting is more meaningful. Keep the letters light and encouraging. Soppy letters of how much he is missed doesn't help him. He's likely struggling with homesickness, and doesn't need to know his loved ones are struggling as well. Don't include mushiness. He's trying to keep his mind off girls and romance. This is a huge distraction. He will LOVE all news and updates of home! The extreme pressure is from those who love him the most. They KNOW the blessings of a mission and to see their son/friend miss out, would be devastating. I have NO DOUBT that my marriage has been blessed these many years, due to my husband's mission. Being non-LDS you can't possibly understand this, and that's okay. But please trust us who have been there, to choose not to go is a huge loss. Someday, he will have a son who is struggling with the decision of a mission, and he will want to say, "I did it. Do as I did. It was one of the best things I ever did." Returned missionaries are encouraged to tell the "positive". However, in conversation with any of them, they will be honest and open. It's just that in a public speech, there are young men listening who are on the verge of choosing to go. Missions are anything but easy, but always worth it if you go with the right attitude. I don't know the rate of activity of returned missionaries. I would like to add that I would discourage my daughter from marrying a young man who turned down the chance to serve a mission. This says a lot about his testimony and commitment to God. These aspects of one's character are too important in a spouse and future father to her children. That is if she wants an LDS home and hopes her sons will be missionaries some day. I just wouldn't recommend the risk.

Thanks for your honest response. Back to Alma 32, it says it starts with desire. The desire to believe. Also, I've learned (recently) that God doesn't give us anything we're not ready for. So if you feel you are not receiving anything from Him, maybe it's because you're not ready. An answer from God demands change. If he gave you an answer, for example, on the truthfulness of the Gospel, you'd be required to start living it. If He sees that you are not ready to change in this way, He won't send you the answer. I think this is part of His mercy. He'll wait till you are ready, and have a true and sincere desire, then the answers will come. This is the great value of adversity. It tends to humble us, making us more receptive to God and open to what He has for us.

Thanks, Loudmouth. Too add to that, it is never worth using a gun to defend property, because of the inevitable lawsuits. It will cost you more than the property is worth---sad, but true. You ONLY use a gun to defend a life. You gotta know the laws, to protect yourself. Get educated!

Maybe it's my imagination, but I've noticed that very few people who are non-LDS and who attend a church regularly, stay in one religion. Often they have changed religions several times. (I'm not talking about those who claim a religion, but seldom/never go.) Has anyone else noticed this?

Faith is a choice. Did I feel the Spirit? I CHOOSE the answer to that question. Did I receive an answer to my prayer? Again, I CHOOSE the answer to that question. It's all an experiment, like it says in Alma 32. Is obedience to the Gospel working for you? For me, YES. So you make a choice, move forward, unsure, unknowing, testing what feels right. This is faith. If it works for you, you continue to move forward in that direction. I've done this my entire life and so far so good. Every good thing in my life is a direct result of my activity in the LDS Church. I wouldn't leave it for anything.

Thank you Goofball. Pro-Prop 8 Californians, PLEASE VOTE!!! We are all watching and counting on you! This impacts all of us.

I agree with the Constitution in that we have the right to own guns. However, and this is SO IMPORTANT, I urge everyone to become trained in GUN SAFETY. Too many think they know how to handle a gun, because they've watched Clint Eastwood movies. Also, train your kids! You may not have a gun in your house, but a friend will and boys are drawn to guns like flies to honey. Get your kids (sons especially), and yourself to a high-quality class--it might take several hours--that drills into you how to safely handle a weapon. Someone's life may depend on it. Talk to your local church youth leaders about arranging a class. I can't stress this enough.

Not sure what you mean by "confirmation bias", and at the risk of taking this thread further down this tangent . . . I'd say one way to distinguish between them is time. Over time, do you see good coming from the revelation or idea, or not? I've been LDS for nearly 50 years, and I can say I've SEEN endless good come from the teachings of the Church. I've learned simply that it works. If I do as our prophet says, my life goes better. I have less problems. I'm happier. I've seen this in the lives of my family also. So having seen this for so long, I've found it very easy to accept what the Prophet says as revelation from God. It has been proven by the test of time. Steering back to the thread topic, it would be wonderful to have one global faith. But I'm afraid we won't compromise on doctrine. This is why we urge the world to ask God. Go with what He says. He's the only one who has the right to decide.

Well, for now, I'd be happy to be accepted by mainstream Christianity as fellow Christians. When we all work together, we are a formidable force in society. Yet too often, we are met with suspicion by the religious world.

Thanks for this info. This would be a great Christmas gift to my married kids! We're focusing on food storage this year.

ElderBD, I love your enthusiasm! You'll be a great asset down south. And Christmas in the MTC . . . you lucked out. You're gonna love it.

JohnBirchSociety, I agree with much of what you say. However, what would have happened if we had not answered Churchill's call for help in WWII? (#8) Thanks.

How many of us here think we're one of the "10"? Most of the time, I think I am. Sometimes I have to back out for a breather (out of the "10", never out of the Church) because, truthfully, sometimes Church activity can be overwhelming. There's just always a need . . . always a sign-up sheet. OTOH, every good thing in my life is a direct result of my Church activity.

Big fat huggy DITTO!

As the election draws near, I am struck with another frustrating thought about the overly-high concentration of conservative LDS in Utah/Idaho. We need those votes elsewhere! Utah/Idaho is strongly conservative, so many of those votes are useless, in a national election due to the electoral college. We need more voting power in pretty much every other state. We need the conservative LDS vote to strengthen in California where they're fighting for Prop. 8. We need it on the "left" coast. We need it in the Northeast. Come on, we need you out here!