FayetteIA

No..No..No..there are some situations I would not allow my children, or my grandchildren to be "knowingly" exposed too. First. When my kids were young, the sleep-over rule was if we did not know the people..know them well. No sleep-overs. They were not allowed to have sleep-overs at homes where there was drinking, smoking and so on. Ever try to get the smoke smell out of kids clothes after a night in a home where people smoke..... We have been told to avoid certain things like a plague. I would say this "Alternate" life-style fits nicely in that category. Think of the example you set for your child, you teach him Gospel Principles, true he is only 8, however, 8 yo's are pretty knowledgeable. So you send the message to your child, that is okay to be in their home, as long as nothing is implied?? What is wrong with this picture? Everything is implied:eek: If I was 8 and allowed to sleep-over in such a home, I would question my parents teachings....Hmmm.."They tell me this is wrong...but it is okay to stay with a friend with "2 moms" because he is my friend"??? A few weeks ago we had a situation here, totally diff. But I told my husband "When your OX is in the mire, you don't jump in with it..then complain about being stuck in the mire with the OX. You get the silly OX out of the mire" There is no way I would knowingly allow my son or daughter into that type of situation. We are trying to raise Stripling Warriors here....that goes for my grand babies too. Joni

I still do not see what is the problem. You teach the doctrine to non-members based on your beliefs..not the non-members beliefs. However, if the intent is to point out what they are doing wrong...so you can convince them of the errors of their ways...I don't think you need a much bigger stick than that to run them off. My Patriarchal blessing tells me to show the beauties of this church through the life that I live, that others would want what I have....I do not think I will be looking to convince my neighbor who lives with his GF how he is sinning...I have never even seen him go to church. He knows I am LDS...sometimes you have to wisely chose your (battles?) positions. It will not be the same for everyone you meet, because everyone is different and unique. The Lord did not condem the harlot, he said simply "Go thy way and sin no more" He also told the crowd, "Let him who is without sin, cast the first stone" Sometimes in our overzealousness, our good intentions can go awry real fast. I find that prayer first, is the best policy: for me..Before I speak to non-members on any Doctrine issues other than my Testimony or to explain why, I am a Latter-Day Saint. Joni

I am curious also..what is the difference how many wives Joseph Smith had? The Lord instituted polygamy for a reason during those times, just as He later instituted the United Order. They were being obedient to the commandment. Our lives bombarded by media, could it be that you have allowed popular/worldly concepts of Polygamy to infiltrate your mind? Having been through the Temple, you also should have a broader understanding of plural marriage. If you study church history (my husband is a big church history buff) you will find plural marriage was a difficult challenge. Not everyone participated. Plural marriage is recorded throughout the scriptures, it is not a new concept. At the risk of being unpopular here, I think your issues with it are more complex than the fact: For a time, The Lord commanded it. I truly do not know how I would accept plural marriage if/when it was instituted again. I would like to believe I would not allow it to be a stumbling block to my progression. My husband cannot imagine having another "Me" LOL Hope I helped here..sometimes I am just to outspoken...I don't mean to offend, hope I didn't Joni

How exciting:bearhug: I can feel your glow also. Just reading your post. I remember when I tok the missionary lessons..many, many years ago. I still can look back and feel the awe and wonder of the message(s) they brought to me. Joni

I do not think this subject needs clarification. Such behaviors when brought before a leader require a church court. That in itself shoul tell us the seriousness of the sin(s) Can one repent..of course. That is an individual choice. Joni

Correction here if I am wrong. I believe President Hinkley made a statement regarding this subject. He stated the church(s) position, the Lord's Position. I do not understand why this would be a debate? A Prophet gave us Heavenly Father's answer on the matter. Joni

Just last week in Priesthood meeting, my husband told me the lesson was on apathy. They were comparing how as elders they serve the church and the community. He said a show of hands revealed not one member went to the IA Caucus. True we had brutal winter storm..but we had brutal winter storms all last winter. That was just one example. The point was, then, the elders quorum could not find fault about others if they..were not doing what they ought to be... I call Free Agency; "The blessing and curse of Free Agency. Free Agency is a blessing, it is vital to the gospel. But..the exercise of free agency can have harmful effects on another. I think when we look at others and wonder "Why" can't you see" we need to see them as Heavenly Father does. He will never force His children to be obedient. All we can do is present our position, bear our testimony and pray for those we do it for. No matter if they join the church or are active members or not. Joni

Let me see. If we are reading our scriptures, having daily prayer, reading the ensign or even visiting this website..it is safe to say we are actually spending a portion of our day on the church, as it were. I like the statement about our time and talents..we agreed to this..before we came here as babes. if we are member(s) we further agreed at baptism. To look back after the fact and say..hmm wait a min..I am not sure i agreed to that.....when our comfort zone is threatened. The Lord does not ask us to be perfect teachers, perfect counselors. He asks that we do our personal best. In our small branch we have a limited "pool" to draw from of willing members who will serve. We wear many hats. I have found that this is not a problem, as long as I do my best and accept the calling(s) the Lord steps in and helps with the rest. Do I know where I find the time to serve 3 and 4 callings..no I do not..but a way is provided. If I look at a 24 hr clock/7 day week it is impossible..BUT..If I rely on the Lord and accept the calling, do my best..time is provided, resources are provided. Callings are seldom for the growth of the ward or branch...they are for the individual. Even the ones where a "body" is desperately needed to fill a position..it is the same. Church callings are what you, allow them to be. How do you think the first Presidency does so much in their callings? They did not begin their church service as leaders...they agreed to serve. When you serve with your heart..ways are provided to fill the needs. The blessings that come from accepting a calling in the church is without measure to the person who serves, to their best efforts. I have had many callings in the church. Some seemed so overwhelming I would shake at the thought of actually doing it..The Lord helped me each and every time. To any of you who shy away from callings..you are robbing yourselves of the most meaningful growth steps you will take in this life. joni

Get all the information you can from your Dad. Find out if she was adopted. many states have a procedure whereby a b-parent or b-sibling can register with the adoption registry in that state and they will search for a "match" CA is a big state, you might need to find an area where she possibly lived. Best of luck to you. Joni

Since Genealogy is tied for the most visited web sites with..I am sorry to say..porn..there is a lot of interest on the web. As well as the numerous groups that have formed in states to record cemetery information to be readily available on the web. In our FHC we use Internment.net also depending on the state, county, country and so on. You can Google search for info. I was born in a small county in western NY..there are so many genealogy, family history, cemetery, and so on sites. It is like the hard work has been done, I only have to link in family. My county in NY..Chautauqua, will list every cemetery by town, cemetery name and by grave site. There are at least two dozen historians that i have communicated with in this last month for that county only. I have only scratched the surface. The spirit of Elijah has touched the world...I see a lot of apathetic members regarding the commandment to seek out our ancestors...it is unsettling to me. It is also scary to witness a great deal of the worlds population with a burning desire to search for their ancestors..and they do not know why it is so important, but the do it; and to compare some of us who have been counseled for years to get this accomplished...and still we sit waiting to borrow some oil for our lamps..later, when the need arises.... Joni

The familysearch.org is a good place to start. If you have -0- experience with Family History, here is what we suggest in our FHC. Start with what you know..about your immediate family. Write it down, record it somewhere, on a disk or a CD. Go to you living relatives, get their vital information. Ask for stories about their lives. Record them right away! Then go to the FHC in you ward or branch, ask if there is a class to help you get started. It is not really as intimidating as it sounds. You will be surprised. Ancestry.com. I use the $29.95 per month membership. The reason is there is a lot of info there i would have to send away for. Also it helps me teach "research" to class members in our FHC classes. Also on ancesrty.com I find a lot of other peeps who will contact me through the message boards as they or I research the same lineage. It does not replace familysearch.org or new.familysearch.org..I find it is a good resource tool. Joni

Currently you can only do the training if you are called as a consultant in your branch or ward. Talk to your Priesthood leaders or your Bishop about this. In the Cedar Rapids IA stake we started the training back in Feb of this year, the weather was so bad only a few showed up, so we rescheduled to Apr. Our Temple District, Nauvoo is weeks away from rolling out the new.familysearch.org which will replace the old Temple Ready version of preparing names for submission to the Temple. The new program is being rolled out by areas. Some Temple districts are already using it. We, the three of us who work in our small FHC had to complete all the training sessions. I also get "Practice lessons" in ,my email which helps me be ready to teach the program when we get the "Go" signal. If you go to the church web site, there is information there about serving a mission for Family Search. I wish I had time to serve, but I am so busy with my callings now, and getting our Branch members instructed on the new program...some of them do not even have a clue about the old programs. The new.familysearch.org will eventually be available to church members from their home computers, many of the FHC's will be closed because everything that is stored will be available on the web. It is projected that (I think) 5 years the entire world population will have access to the information. The new system is awesome. I use my own ancestry to do the practice lessons. However, PAF does not transfer to the new.familysearch. So we will all need a program that is compatible. For my training I just used GEDCOM..but that is slow. The short form is, all the information that has been submitted on any of my family lines, by anyone is now a part of my family history. I can go in and look, verify which ancestors belong and BAM..they are on pedigree charts and Family Group Sheets. We are able to communicate with others who are submitting information. Remember, when you are able to use the new system, input your email address... when you submit info. The older versions did not allow for that. If you want to collaborate with another contributor, you will need this. Anyway..it is going to be so great when ours rolls out here in Nauvoo district. We have been preparing for it about a year in our stake. Joni

Welcome, I am a Newbie here too. I am in the Relief Society and I am Family Search Consultant. We currently live in a small branch in NE Iowa. Our area covers some 500 sq mi. So we all wear lots of hats. Some of my hats are self appointed..LOL Meaning I just started doing something, everyone thought it was a good idea..and I have kept doing it. Congrats on your baptism. Joni

It is not a sin to suffer from any form of emotional or chemical disorder. The Church long ago saw this and developed LDS Social Services. I take antidepressants. I was born into a family of substance abusers (Big Ones) on my mothers side. I have 4 half sisters, each has or is immersed in it. One of the sisters, I was her escort when she went to the Temple years ago. That has long been forsaken for alcohol and drugs. I use to feel less of a person because i needed extra help for these issues. Somehow I was weak by needing prescription meds to deal with life. I no longer feel that way. The meds help me to function to a greater capacity than I can without them. Do I get into the depths of despair. Sure I still do at times. That is the nature of all depressions or like conditions. They cycle. One thing I found..by accident when I was feeling at my lowest one summer. Actually it was the first summer I was off the truck. I was home by myself after nearly 10 years of working/living 24/7, 365 with my husband in a semi. I was miserable. It came to me one day, I think I saw it on BYU TV. when you are at your lowest..do something for another..Well i thought that was a joke..but I tried it. I made strawberry pies for 3 of my neighbors. It was a real bad summer, like I said. One of my neighbors asked me not to bring any more goodies..While they enjoyed them immensely..they we all getting fattened. :) I made pies, cakes, cookies, I cross stitched Christmas decos for my neighbors that summer. It did work for me..I was able to come out of my dark abyss after a time. I am familiar with suicide ideas also. You have to find what works for you. Everyday will not be great so treasure the ones that are. Get as many Priesthood blessings as you need to handle the "down times" When you are in a position of strength, share your experiences with others, pay it forward, as it were, share what you have learned through this struggle. You never know what hope sharing your experiences and how you overcame them will help others in the same situations. Go to the scriptures, they are full of peoples experiences with despair and how they overcame the odds.... Joni

We got rid of our landlines a few years ago when one of the kids came for the summer. I was still driving truck with hubby and she was left to her own. The landline bill was left to us..some $600. worth. We decided the phones go with us after that. No temptations in the house. I believe that was 4 or 5 yrs ago. Joni

That would be a lot here in IA..we charge $1.50 - $2.00 per hr per child. (unless it is a registered Day-care center) for child care. That is per child. And you do not want to price yourself out of a job either. The diff btw $6.42 and $7.00 is so small it would not be worth a challenge (to me) Also the rules are diff for like child care, farm workers and so on as defined by minimum wage. Is your employer taking out Fed and state taxes along with FICA? Probably not. You have to chose you challenges wisely, would be my advice. You are proving a much needed service. You should also look at the rewards you are gaining beyond the dollars. Joni

It seems to me you have received your answer when you say you pray about it and the uncomfortable feelings come along with the strong impression to tell her "No" I think you are on the right track. Anytime you feel so torn about a decision, it is always safest to go with the impressions received from prayer. many times we are torn because of our relationships. It is hard to tell the difference between emotional ties and the Holy Ghost telling us what is best for us. Sometimes when I am unsure, as with our grown children, I will pray about it and then report again to Heavenly Father, "This is what I felt impressed to do..in (whatever situation) If I am right please help me proceed, if I am wrong please tell me in an unmistakably clear way so I do not err. (Now, a bit of warning here, on my "Unmistakably Clear" phrase..BE CAREFUL..the Lord will do as you ask, for me. I need the clarity, for others it might be a bit of a culture shock? LOL The adversary is going to test you in big and small ways to bring you off the narrow path. Don't allow it to happen. You may want to go to the Church web site and read everything you can find where our leaders have talked about abortion BEFORE you make a commitment to your friend. Arm yourself with the counsel of our leaders..then you will feel stronger. My advice: Run like the wind was on your tail...Do not involve yourself..even a little in supporting your friends decision. Joni Joni

Not any more. We have been given excellent counsel from a servant of the Lord (M. Russell Ballard) "This is the world of the future, with inventions undreamed of that will come in your lifetime as they have in mine. How will you use these marvelous inventions? More to the point, how will you use them to further the work of the Lord"? (Ensign July 2008, pg 58) After I had been a member of the church one year, I qualified to receive my Patriarchal Blessing. I received much counsel about family history and the importance of doing the work. In the 1970's I was living in So. CA we had to travel to the Genealogy Library at the Los Angeles Temple to do research. If we needed to order items from SLC, they needed to be sent to the LA Temple library. Everything was done by snail-mail. It was slow and tedious. Submitting names for Temple work to be done, may be submitted and resubmitted to the Temple dept many times to correct errors..all by snail mail. As I would re-read my blessing it boggled my mind. How could I do so much work for my family? To my knowledge, I was the only church member for at least 5 generations. Maybe the only one ever! In the 1980's people were called as "Extraction workers" to copy records of births, deaths and marriages found throughout the world in church records, family histories and so on. These were compiled into what we have today. It is a "Marvelous Work and a Wonder" I am now a Family search consultant, our Temple district is about to roll out new.familysearch. We have been training on the new program for several months. It will enable us to submit names from our home computers, in time for the temple work to be done with a minimum of steps. Right now we use a "Temple Ready" program that is run in a family history center, in a "Blink of an eye" that information is taken to the temple on a disk containing several hundred names, if they are available to be cleared for temple ordinances. I have a disk right now, containing about 190 names of mine and my husband's family, ready to take to Nauvoo Temple. We will do as much of the work as we personally can. You see the Lord has always used faithful servants to further His work on the earth. Where do you think the knowledge comes from to make these inventions available for our use? Just as I could not comprehend in 1972 how I could ever do all this temple work for my ancestors, it is difficult for some to catch the vision of "Cyber Missionaries" I did not have a clue in the 1970's how I could accomplish this work. The Lord knew, He has always known. I just needed to keep the faith that a way would be provided. I did. And it was. I do not pretend to know what hearts will be touched by following M. Russell Ballard's counsel. I know he in a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and he has asked that we do this. What does the Lord say "Whether it be by my voice or the voice of my servants, it is the same...(paraphrase) Joni

Hi all. I found this site after I read this months Ensign article regarding sharing the gospel online. This is a cool place! Anyway..I am Joni my hubby is Jan we live in NE IA (currently) getting ready to relocate to the Phoenix, AZ area. We have 8 living kids btw us. We have each been the "highly-contagious" ward "singles" We have been married 14 yrs, we were sealed in Nauvoo Temple after a lengthy struggle to clear previous sealings (which we so wanted to give up the fight many times) We have each seen our share of opposition and adversity. I am sure we will see more. I was a real estate lending professional, my hubby is a truck driver. When we married, he saw so little of me, he sorta tricked me into going to TD school. He said if I was going to work so many hours, I might as well work them on the truck with him. I drove with him 10 years, until my knees gave out and I came home for surgery. I am a total diesel junkie, I love the road. Not your average Relief Society teacher/Family History Consultant. Someone asked me online:, How do I manage to teach Relief Society and drive truck? I said getting dispatch to get us home on time to teach my lesson each month is not the tricky part. The real challenge is getting all those sisters up in the truck so I can teach the lesson...fortunately we are in a small branch so they all fit nicely.:) I do not know where or what I would be without my membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Actually I do know..because years ago I was there. My life was on a clear collision course. I had only my wits to advise me. The Holy Ghost does a much better job than I ever could alone. To all of you who wonder, question or are undecided: "Just try it on" As Alma says "Experiment upon my words" Go to the source..go to the scriptures, have the courage to "try" Moroni's test. I did in 1971. While I have had much opposition as a member of the church, my peace has never been disturbed, my testimony never lost. Thank you for this great site.