lindsayjane

I had a theory to explain the similarities between this book and the BOM. I thought that perhaps Satan, being well aware of actual BOM history, could have inspired the author with enough glimpses of that history to generate a work of fiction based loosely on historical fact. Satan was aware of the impending coming forth of the BOM and he could have wanted to engineer something like this to work against it. I have never read the book, so anyone who has can feel free to refute this possibility. But regardless of the inspiration behind the book, I still have a hard time believing Joseph could have written something as complex and doctrinally transcendent as the BOM. And I would think if someone else wrote it or helped him write it, there's no way an author of something that brilliant would fade into anonymity and let God and/or Joseph take all the credit! In my own struggles with the church and activity, I have actually had very different experiences than I've read in this thread. I never left because of doctrine or offenses or even the difficulty of requirement. In fact, despite all of the anti stuff I read over the years, actually trying to disbelieve the church, nothing I read ever disturbed me or affected my testimony. I regarded the peculiarities as interesting and unfortunate and knew I would understand them better eventually. When active I struggled to keep up and get it all right just like everyone else does, but my attitude was always humble and accepting--always "thy will be done," and "all my time and talents to the last tear and drop of blood." I felt that, to a greater extent, I wasn't living this life for myself and my own comfort in the first place. And I understood that the leaders of the church were human and fallible, but I also understood the principle that even if a bishop's counsel wasn't perfect, or an apostle's admonition veered a bit from revelation, my obedience would be counted as righteousness. I was respectful of their priesthood and calling as called of the Lord, even if their nature or opinion was lacking. In any case, I suppose I experienced that elusive growth of testimony that many members seem to experience. I never felt that warm fuzzy confirmation. I have never felt very much during prayer, in general. However, I have felt the Spirit deeply along the way as I have lived the gospel. It's that sentiment I hear often, "I just know it's true." But we can't really describe why. It's embedded into the soul somehow. I wonder if members who doubt because they didn't have that singular moment of answer to that specific asking prayer are overlooking the moments of revelation and reassurance scattered throughout the faithful daily life.

I've heard that the "random bystanders" who supposedly verify that no special effects are used are actually paid off and sworn to secrecy through strict legal contracts. But I don't have any references for that claim.

I have always viewed alien and ufo stories with mild amusement (even my own potential alien story), but I suppose for those who actually have experiences that look and feel real it's not so amusing anymore. Perhaps if I remembered something terrible happening to me in the woods I would be a passionate believer. So I try not to dismiss or ridicule those that swear by their other-worldly stories. If there aren't alien's coming to abduct and spy on us (which I feel there probably aren't) then something else must have happened to these people--something very real in some sense, and definitely something with a real impact on their psyche. I even think the government may have documented stories of "unusual events" happening to their personnel. Does that mean something in the sky is a ufo? No. Does that mean every strange creature is an alien? No. Does it mean there's a government cover-up? No. But with all of the stories I hear and read, I have to believe something is happening to these people. Even if it's just happening in their minds, what's triggering it? There are definitely a lot of questions we won't get answers to any time soon. For me that's not really a big deal because nothing traumatic ever happened to me. For those who have had dramatic experiences, I don't blame them for sharing their stories and searching for answers.

I know a little of what you're going through right now. I went through the same thing with my ex-husband, but much worse. He was actually unfaithful three times within the first year of our marriage. And the pornography and masterbation issue had existed since his teens. It makes me wonder if your husband has struggled with those issues a lot longer than you realize. In any case, your husband is doing a lot better than mine did. He left the church because of his struggles and gave up fighting it. At least your husband is still trying to overcome it with the help of the church. My ex-husband's brother also struggled with those issues, but he stayed close to the church and fought it and he has overcome it, so I believe there is hope. His wife stood by him all the way and didn't give up on him. Ironically, I wish I had stayed with my ex-husband now that I look back. I ended up leaving after five years together for a lot of reasons, but I wish I had been stronger myself--more patient, more faithful, more unconditionally loving. I think both he and I and our children would all be in a better situation now if I had. But that's just my life. What it really comes down to, I think, is following the spirit. None of our advice or situations will have any bearing upon what is right for you and your situation.

That was actually the easiest part of this whole process. I just stopped going to the club. I met my friends there and left my friends there. I feel a little bad about it because they're worried about me and I miss the positive aspects of the friendships (and the chance to dance, which I did more than anything else), but I just don't have the desire to be in that atmosphere anymore. I still have good people at work to interact with and there's always the internet, right.

I wondered about this issue for a long time until I just stopped caring either way. I don't think we WILL know for sure about any of earth's unsolved mysteries (Nessie included ) until we get to the other side anyway. I had to make peace with my own life's mysteries and just learn patience. When I was six I came face to face with a white "something" with big black eyes in an Arizona forest. I was walking around, separated from my family, and turned around and there it was staring at me, no more than two feet away. I wasn't afraid and I didn't try to run away, I just stared at it. It didn't have a distinguishable nose or mouth and it was almost the same size I was. But then I "lost time" and the next thing I knew I was running out of the forest toward my car. Was it an alien? I've never said so. Was it a demon? Who knows? I don't really care anymore. I'll know eventually and that's good enough for me.

I have to grin when I think of the 72-hour kit stashed away in my closet. When I divorced and left the church two years ago I had to move out of state with only what I could fit in my car. I left almost everything I had, including everything church related. I had convinced myself I didn't believe the teachings anymore, but I somehow couldn't part with that 72-hour kit. I realize now that the inspiration I received over the years to be prepared had settled so deeply in my heart that I couldn't let it go, even if my conscious mind wouldn't acknowledge the reason why.

You're referring to Art Bell. I use to listen to him occasionally years ago. Actually, I stocked up more toward my year supply than any other time while listening to his nightly impending doom messages around the year 2000. As far as the alien thing goes, I used to have a book called Aliens & UFOs: Messengers or Deceivers? by James Thompson, which looks at the issue from an LDS standpoint. It has a lot of quotes by general authorities and takes a critical look at some LDS alien and ufo stories. It's not endorsed by the church, but it does take the opinion that this phenomena is engineered by Satan. At the very least, it's a great compilation of what the general authorities have said concerning the matter over the years.

I am working on coming back to the church after 2 years away. Thankfully, I have retained a lot of gospel knowledge from previous years of in-depth study (and my memory is nearly photographic, anyway). Unfortunately, most of my friends and family are non-members or anti-mormon, so I'm hoping to find some uplifting conversation here to help me in my return journey. I have a lot working against me on this side of the screen.