I am feeling so hurt. My parents, and siblings have abused, and abandoned me. My grown children are angry with me. My husband is distant and more of a part-time roommate than anything. I have had chronic depression all my life and major depression issues all my life also. I feel that there is no one on this earth who loves me and I have no close ties with deceased people. I also have chronic fatigue.
I am active in the church, temple worthy (tho I have been too depressed to go and get a temple recommend) and love Heavenly Father. Tho it seems hard to hear him. My fault not His.
My husband has moved us far away from his loving relatives. He is my biggest upset right now. He is a very quiet man and hasn't hugged, kissed or given me any affection or compliments for at least 10 years. He won't be sealed to me in the temple and although he goes to church, he isn't passionate about it and won't pray, read scriptures or do anything else church wise. He very much isolates himself from me and loves to be a loner.
I need to go and see a therapist but the only LDS one is 40 minutes away. Which is no excuse but I struggle with going. I truly fear dying - I think there will be no one in heaven that wants to be with me. I wish I could understand why Heavenly Father gave me these challenges. I wish I knew what personality I really am. I feel like I don't have any talents or gifts. Most of this has been going on for 50 years. Been married 2nd time for 20.
I am on antidepressants and the super sadness is gone, but I still feel tired, and sad.
I'm not sure that life will be any better in the next life. And I don't know what to do to feel uplifted.
YES, I have reached out to others in service and tried to fulfill my callings.
Just feeling abandoned.
