AELK

I was in that same situation, married to someone who, although he was a member, didn't go, and didn't really support me in being an active member. I had vowed that when I moved back to the United States, after being in Europe for 8 years and primarily being inactive, that I would just go regardless. So when I got here, I did just that. The ward members were none the wiser to my inactivity. And here I am almost 11 years later a very active member, who has been to the temple. My regret is that when the sheep strays the lambs do follow. Although my younger set of children are active, my older set are not. But things are good now. I can tell you how. Please feel free to email me. AELK

Here is the link to the website Sally DeFord Music: Site Map And you can get the hymns from the lds.org site.

Congratulations, my dear brother. I feel your joy. The families you home teach will surely feel the blessing of your spirit. :)

Angela, Well, many women stay 29 for years....look at it that way. No birthday, no aging. Not to make light of your situation. But sometimes we have to laugh so we don't spend all our time crying. I don't think that people intentionally hurt us or neglect us, I think it just happens. But I bet there are many people who love and care about you, that you don't even know about. There are people in our lives, that admire us, love us, and think about us- and we don't know it. You may not know, but there was someone somewhere that thought about you on your birthday. Someone else who considered calling you or sending you a card, but something happened so they couldn't. I know from experience that telling you be happy because you have your children, or be happy for this or that that is in your life, is not going to help. I have found myself iritated by such comments, when I am so sad that I don't want to continue, telling me that I have children who need me, or that I have a good job or a great education, doesn't help. We are always told to count our blessings. But sometimes we need to acknowledge our pain. Too often we discount ourself, saying we have no right to be sad. But you have every right to be sad, Angela. It was a sad thing that happened. It seems ironic that I would even give any advice to someone with what has recently happened and is happening to me. But I find I can offer advice, but I cannot figure what to do for myself. "Doctor heal thyself" never works. Take care. And a belated "happy birthday". You are loved.

Dear Pinkcow, Even though only those members with current temple recommends can attend a sealing marriage at the temple, from what I have seen and experienced, the other people, friends and family who wish to partake in the happiness, are in the temple waiting room and then later there is a celebration, such as a reception, for everyone. Some LDS couples also have a second ceremony for those members of their family and their friends who are not temple-worthy or are not members. Regardless, the blessings of a temple marriage are rich and eternal. The love and companionship a couple share here continues forever. I realize that this is a very special time and they want to share this with all that they love, hopefully they can through the alternative means I have mentioned (through being in the temple waiting room, celebrations, receptions and second ceremonies). AELK

I have considered this topic a lot maybe because someone I love dearly is gay or perhaps it could be an educational issue, (Because I am a fetal/infant development specialist I have learned about the development of the brain and the link to homosexuality, I understand it isn't just a 'choice' someone makes). Although I do have difficult thoughts associated with gay marriage or even gay relationships, and have not completely understood the situation nor come to any conclusions, I have come to realize something. And this was not from any interactions with individuals who are homosexual my conclusion stemed from listening to members of my ward speak out on the topic. I have realized this is part of the test for we saints, not necessarily for the saints who struggle with homosexuality. I heard hatred when I listened to the members of my ward, hatred to the point that if an individual who was gay was present he would have probably been murdered or at least beaten. I mean what I heard were very strong feelings of pure hatred, and this was in a gospel doctrine class. Never did our Father in Heaven intend for us to have such feelings towards any of our brethren. I believe that this is one of those true tests of who we are or for who we are to become. Through knowing someone who is LDS and homosexual I have come to understand that there are some horrible outcomes for these young men. Sometimes suicide, and almost surely a loss of self-esteem and self-worth. They have no choice but to leave the church (although I am aware of some who stay in the church and either hide their lifestyle or choose not to practice it). There are LDS-gay groups so they can offer each other support. I have also recently learned of a group of former LDS who want to continue in the church but are not accepted for one reason or another, being gay is among those reasons, so they formed there own ward in the Tacoma area so they could continue to worship and fellowship. Regardless of how we personally feel about homosexuality, I know that what is intended for us is to continue to love and support our brothers and sisters who are in this situation. Their road is hard enough to walk, why would we ever want to throw sharp stones upon their road to make it even more difficult? AELK