justaname

I did end up getting her a pair about a month ago. She isnt the type to forget the gym and depend on these shoes, but she does love them. She wears them when she walks on the treadmill and all around the house. Sounds like she feels better walking in them than with other shoes. I dont think they are going shred weight and tone up muscles, but if she likes them, then more power to her.

You asked for thoughts, so Ill give them. Dont hate me for it! My thought about your post was the fact that you started off by saying how incredibly busy this week is for you. Then, I proceed to multiple, lengthy accounts of what is going on with your brother and his gf. You are obviously finding sufficient time in your hectic schedule to post in this forum. It seems that you are wanting someone to empathize with your situation, which is probably exactly what your brother's gf is wanting to do when she talks with you. She might just want to vent, like you. So, maybe instead of responding to this with the latest update about your brother, maybe you could put your time and energy into trying to help this woman who is seeking your help. Sorry to be so blunt.

Perhaps you should proof-read your comments before you post. Your comment would be far more effective if you included the 'not' in there. But hey, I realize you come here only to give advice and impart your wisdom. That being said, I do think the proof reading could come in handy.

Interesting that you wouldnt seek advice from a message board, but you are comfortable doling it out. Might we all be as independent and self-reliant as you are. You must be a real asset here seeking out people to irritate.

I read pretty much every post on the advice forum. Obviously, I dont comment much. Yes, I am interested in the topic of adultery, not because it has been committed in my marriage, but because those that are able to overcome it seem to develop a very unique relationship with the Savior. Both the sinner, and the sinned against that get through such a trial have to be on the top of my list of most respected person. What motivates people to do it, and to overcome it, must be one of the most fascinating subjects I can think of. Further, I feel that being aware of the fact that it can happen in any marriage and seeing people comment about what led up to such events helps me to guard against the sin myself. Those that dont think it can ever happen in their own little bubble of a marriage seem more likely to succumb. Just my .02.

So would you say this forum is an accurate sampling for a typical LDS ward? Or because of the anonymity, are there more who have struggled with it here? Im also curious to know what the biggest reason is for people cheating? I often hear of people talking about their spouses being emotionally unavailable, falling out of love, being caught up with a sly liar, etc. Rarely do I ever hear of anyone just coming out and saying that their motives were purely carnal. Is this because people dont want to admit that, or is that rarely the reason that it happens?

I read posts in the Advice forum on a fairly regular basis and Im surprised to see how many of them are related to adultery. Im even more surprised to see how many responders have either been cheated on or have cheated themselves. Before I move on, let me just say how much I applaud anyone that has been able to work through an affair regardless of which side they were on. Its simply amazing and a true testament to the power of the Atonement. Im curious as to why there are so many people in here who have been in someway involved in an affair. Is it because many of the people in this forum have sought this place out as a refuge or place to seek counsel? Or is adultery more common than I think, particularly in the church? Maybe I am overly sheltered, but I dont really know many temple married members who have had affairs. I have sat in sacrament meeting many times wondering how many members in there are currently having affairs, or how many have. I know, stupid thing to wonder during that kind of meeting. What do you all think. . . how rampant is this problem? Im also curious as to whether you all think affairs committed by members of the church are motivated by different reasons than by those outside of the church.

Dr. Laura. . .oh dear. What an awful woman. She hears 90 seconds of someone's predicament and thinks she knows what is best for them. She makes me sick. . . even if I feel she gets it right sometimes.

Good for you in coming clean! I hope things work out for you in your marriage and things get better for you and your husband. I havent been in your shoes, so I dont know how you are 'supposed' to feel. You can totally toss my words out the window if you want. Im not entirely sure why you are so concerned about what happens or happened to him. Im thinking that if I were you, or your husband, I would want all thoughts of him or about him to just go away. The more you think about him and his situation, it seems like getting over the whole thing would be more difficult. I guess more than anything, your comment about "getting away with it" was particularly interesting to me. I dont mean to be patronizing, but no one gets away with this stuff. Im sure you know that already. You either repent, or you dont. Finishing school doesnt necessarily mean he got away with it, and even if he talked with his bishop doesnt really mean he has repented. I think far too often people feel that talking with the bishop is the have all end all of repentance. Lets say he never talks with the bish or with the SP. He goes on to get a degree, makes a ton of money and his wife is more than happy in her ignorant bliss. Would you feel like he "got away with it"? What do you want to see happen? Do you want him to lose out on school, get divorced, be poor and have his kids hate him forever? I know that is extreme, but it sounds like you want a little bit of vengeance or bad karma to find him. I hope you would want him to repent, get square with the Lord, and receive his wife's forgiveness. I hope you are praying for him and his family just as much as you are for your own. Remember how Enos prayed for others? Best of luck to you and to him. I hope you both find peace and forgiveness.

My wife is dying for a pair of these things. Anybody have a pair that would like to give a review?

So rather than the GA's giving new talks on Faith and Repentance, why dont they just get up and say, "Hey everybody, go look at the 18xx talk given by Joseph Smith. That says all you need to know." Im also interested to know why you are inferring I am trying to push the modesty line? No where did I say we should make it ok to wear strapless dresses, or did I say that my situation is unique. Its not. I did pick the modest dress because it does work with garments. Im wanting some explanation as to why the setting, context, or attitude matters. Wingnut, so if context, setting and attitude makes all the difference, what if my wife wanted to do some nude modeling for a college art class? Is that ok?

Haha, good idea, but I already have an outfit for the hotel =).

John Doe, you are right, it probably has been discussed on here. I guess we should only talk about things once and be done. Pass that idea on to all the GA's for the next General Conference and see what topics they come up with that havent been discussed. WM, my wife would look great in anything, even in a sack of burlap. Gwen, can you explain why you feel comfortable revealing more skin in a swimsuit than in a dress? (I promise Im not trying to be hostile, Im just wanting more explanation). I understand the covenants that we have both made, which is why I bought the other dress. (I was not considering the other dress. I think its rather ugly, but it was a good dress for the purposes of the example.) Im simply wondering why sometimes portions of our bodies are ok to expose when at other times it's not. Is it not reasonable to have a hard time understanding this? Is it ok for women to wear swimsuits and men to go without a shirt because that it is the cultural norm, or is there some supporting doctrine behind why swimsuits are ok?

Hmmm, how to explain this w/o sounding apostate? My wife and I are married in the temple, and are very active members. I just bought some tickets to a musical this summer as a surprise for the wife. I wanted to go all out so I got a sitter, a hotel, the tickets, dinner, and thought Id go the extra mile and buy her a formal dress for the night too. I found dress shopping difficult. Surfing the web for a modest dress did not yield many results. Most of them expose the shoulders and some of them were a bit short. But man, would she look good in them! In the end, I did end up buying one that will allow her to wear her garments. But I couldnt help but wonder what the big deal is about a dress that exposes the shoulders or may rest a bit above the knees. We have been told that we dont need to wear the garments when going swimming. So, say a woman puts a very modest swimsuit. Even a modest one piece is going to show all of the shoulders, the upper leg, will be tight fitting, and possibly a bit of cleavage. But all of this is ok, right? Take a look at this dress: Donna Ricco One Shoulder Ruched Satin Dress - Hourglass - Nordstrom It shows some shoulder, and might be a bit short, but does this not cover more skin than a one piece swimsuit or a typical exercise outfit? What are your thoughts? BTW, this is the one I ended up getting: Modest By Design - Sale

Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley

Ugh, this literal or allegorical thing with the flood is so tiresome. I remember a gospel doctrine class I went to when I was in a BYU ward a long time ago and this discussion was brought up. I have to say that I have never felt the spirit move out of a class faster. Not because this question is taboo, but the contention in the room was so palpable, just like it is in this thread. Sad.

Well, Valentines day was a success. I tried to get tickets to the symphony, but the wife didnt seem too excited about trying that out. On Saturday, I sent her out to go shopping while I stayed at home and wrote her a letter of sorts. I listed 50 things that I love about her, or certain things in our home that bring back certain memories we have together. I then taped each of the messages in various places or attached them to certain items that corresponded with the message I wrote. Some of them she has found already, and others will probably take a long time before she comes across them. So far, she has found about 15 of the 50. I then arranged for a sitter and we just went out for a typical date. Yeah, we just did dinner and a movie, but the message thing went over really well. I think I scored some serious brownie points. Thanks for the suggestions folks! Now, what to do next year. . .

What? Wives are supposed to do stuff for their husbands on V-day? Well, I might get banned if I say what she does for me on V-day.

What topic? You have asked several different questions and seem totally unsatisfied with almost all of them. You arent looking for anything, other than to waste peoples time.

Haha! I like that idea! I might have to go to Spencers and find a slightly dirty one. If she found it in church I would seriously bust a gut.

She owns her own business, but works from home. She has actually forbid me to buy flowers for her on Valentines day. She thinks they are a total waste of money, especially the way they jack up prices. I do have babysitting arranged for Saturday night, but dont know what to do. I guess I get burnt out of dinner and a movie, and want to try something different.

My wife expects absolutely nothing, which makes it all that more fun, and deserving of something more. Im financially stable, so no worries about going into debt. That being said, I much prefer doing something romantic and thoughtful rather than buying her something. I like that idea you mentioned about random things around the house. I think that could be fun, especially if I put things in places that she will find throughout the next coming weeks. A few weeks ago I sent her a list of 100 things I love about her. Maybe I should do another 50 and cut them out and place them around the house. What do you think?

If you.could care.less then why.are you bothering?BTW.Im not.a "her".

Ive been married 10 years and am at a loss as to what to do for my wife this V-day. So a question for the women in here. . . what would be the best date your husband could plan this weekend? Men. . . what have you done in the past that has impressed your wife?

Its sad to see this "Mark" stringing you all along. With all of the collective knowledge you folks have about the Book of Mormon and other gospel principles, you should know better than to even attempt to prove or provide temporal evidence of the truthfulness of our gospel. What makes you guys think that you can provide Mark the answers he is "looking" for? It should be obvious to you that Mark will just keep asking asinine questions. Even if you could prove that Christ came to the Americas, it would do absolutely nothing to help him gain a testimony. He would simply move on to some other question that can only be answered through spiritual query.