Tamiele

I have a family member that I know has a current recommend, but she has severe doubts about church doctrine. She goes along with things because of her husband - wanting to please him and keep the peace at home, I guess. I was quite taken-aback one day when I was alone with her and she brought up how she thought that the 3 degrees of Glory sounded strange to her, she said she didn't believe it. She also doesn't like to think in terms of more than one God - like the aspirations to become like God's as we are encouraged to do. Anyhow, as she was talking about this to me - I was shocked to the point of blurting out "so how is it that you have a Temple Recommend"....she didn't say anything. I left it alone. I felt annoyed inside - but I agree with others who have said - it is Heavenly Father's job to handle that one. As someone new to this Gospel, I did wonder and was concerned about the work that she did in the Temple - would it be recognized and accepted even if she wasn't mentally a full participant - if you know what I mean.

Ouch. This post is extremely hurtful. You don't know me, nor my situation, and yet you give me a verbal smackdown as I try to work through a family issue. You made correct observations - but made me out to be the bad guy in this scenerio. I am just trying to cope with it and thought I could talk it out here, amongst people who have shown how great they are at understanding and offering advice. I come here to do the same for others, if I can help.

We live in a smallish city with lots to offer - as well as we are outside of Calgary so I am sure everything else can be found there. I would be willing to drive if we had the opportunity to find a good class.

As some of you already know, I am raising a special needs kid. He has a disability that is basically hidden from most people. Anyhow, I have come to the conclusion that he could use a boost in the inner-self-confidence department. I am considering some sort of martial arts for this coming up fall. I realize that good instructors makes all of the difference to how great the class is, but I also wanted to know which of the types of martial arts out there might give my son a good psychological confidence booster in the process. Thanks for your help.:)

What I want would be for them to remain together - for the reason stated that he lives a markedly better life when she is around (still much improvement needed, but a change nonetheless). Having said that, my first concern is for her above my own desires - and knowing him as I do, I understand how he treats her therefore I will advise her to protect herself first. She didn't actually call last night. I waited up until 10:30 but heard nothing. I emailed her this AM - she said oh, she was with my brother and he was being nicer. She had news for me though - he has decided to go back to our home town for a MONTH to "sort things out". My first thought was to this fabulous job he got in January, with a company that he has been trying to get on to for years. My guess is he will dump it - and that is likely because he has partied and missed work and ticked them off already. Back in our home town, he gets together with old friends and it is a complete drinkfest. You see what I mean??? One ridiculous move after another. This is why I emotionally wash my hands of it. To invest anything in him, just puts you on an emotional roller coaster. In the past couple of years I have removed myself from his life - and let him make his mistakes and live with his consequences. If my mother chooses to bail him out time after time, it isn't my affair any longer. And the saga continues.....

I concur with this - also, most of the population is deficient in Vitamin D - the sunshine vitamin - taking a strong dose of this each day can drastically improve your temperament.

It sounds like you have had your fair share of difficult people. If that sums up most of your relationships - it is time to make a change - weed out the negative and cleave to the positive. I would discuss this issue with your Bishop, as well as you RS President (or councellors). Tell them your fears - and let them match you up with Sisters that can befriend you and build up your trust. There are church members that will let you down - and behave very unrighteously - and it sounds like they are the ones your find yourself getting burned by. There are great women in the church - ones that would love nothing better than to build you up and help you to overcome your socializing handicaps. There will always be some that can say things that will sting - but if you have mor positive in your life - the negative doesn't bother you (as much). Best of luck to you!

Welcome Philgyan!!

Welcome Bear1121. You will find many deep-thinking, knowledgable people here to discuss the problems of the world and Gospel. I am not one of them, haha, but I do my best. Hope you enjoy your time here!!

I want to help people, Marts1, but in this case I feel at a loss for words. If you tell someone not to play in traffic, they choose to do so anyways, and then when they get hit by a car - you are supposed to stop everything and help them out. That is the part I get miffed about. It is 100% unnecessary - and affects my life as well as theirs. Yes I am selfish and I can feel that as I type. I really gotta deal with it. Perhaps on our travels to the US I can think on it as we drive along. Will have time to reflect when we are away from the grind. Yes, we are busy but no busier than anyone else with small kids, church, and just trying to do our best - dyb dyb dyb!! We know that Heavenly Father will bless us for our efforts.:)

As I said to anatess, when I calm down I will reread your words and think about them. I know this is an area of my life that I need to resolve. I am like a child who is rebellious towards the idea that I must make amends towards people who have repeatedly offended me. That has been a hard pill to swallow. I am not arguing against the idea, but it is just hard to accept and act on it.

You are right in that I would never speak rudely to her. I will be respectful and as helpful as I can be. I won't intervene on her behalf, as I expect she is going to ask me to speak to my brother. I have little to nothing to do with him, and have only been around them together a handful of times, so I think it a waste of my time. Will reread your advice again later when my head clears - right now old wounds, anger, resentment, have taken over and I need to calm down so I can think straight. Don't think that those various scriptures that use the exact word "brother" and where do you stand with your brother, etc., give me a kick in the gut everytime I read them.

Let me just say that this week is hectic with schoolwork, home teachers, visiting teaching, activities, cubs, van at the repair shop, preparations for a 2 week vacation that is happening on Friday....and.....someone wants to call me tonight to rant about their life. I said okay, after 9 is when I am free (although I was hoping to watch DWTS elimination ). The problem with helping this person is that I am unsympathetic to her plight. She has been in a relationship with my brother for about 2 years now. Best girlfriend he has ever had imo. He has acted more like a boyfriend with her than with any other gal before that. He is a difficult person to like. He has been an irresponsible, insensitive person for as long as I have known him = 37 years. His favorite passion in life is to party. He loves to get drunk and sit in the bar and play cards and yap with people. He went to Alcoholics Anonymous before and has gone to a dry-out centre. Truthfully, he isn't an alcoholic so much as he is just plain immature. He wants to have the party days go on forever - the "alcoholism" is just something to distract people from the real issue - something for him to blame it on when he causes his family difficulties with his immature ways. He will always offer a token, "guess I'll get back into AA meetings". It is like blaming your arm for your sore leg!! Anyhow, his woman has been trying to have a relationship with him for the past few years. I can see that things have improved for him - he finally finished some courses that have been lingering for ever so now he is a journeyman by trade. He has moved into a better apartment. He has actually made it to a few family functions and been helpful. Unfortunately for her, I can tell he enjoys her company so long as he gets what he wants, and as long as she is tagging along, he keeps her company. Last summer she saw that reality come to light when he went back to our home town for a visit and appeared to be sleeping around, as he always does, and instead of taking the high road and leaving him in the past - she chose to phone him constantly, pick him up from the airport when he returned, and since then has stuck to him like glue - to prevent anything from happening. She spoke to me at that time as well, to get my insights. I told her that I have never known him to think of others, ever. I have been on the receiving end of his selfishness more times than I can count - so I did not tell her anything encouraging. As much as I appreciated the improvements he had made in his life because of her helpfulness, I was more annoyed at him for mistreating her and felt my duty to her before him. By putting herself in his corner, any time we are together and I say anything negative to him, she jumps on ME. She defends him so blindly - so she ignores the fact that he and I have so much history and bad blood that to expect me to be glowing with love for him will never happen. I did a dumb thing last summer and agreed to pay for some airline tickets for them, at the moment is was convenient to do so. A full 2 months later I asked them for the 3rd time to pay me back - and charged them the interest, etc., because it was sitting on my credit card. It surprised me that no one made any attempt to repay me - I thought with her in the transaction that both would honor it ( my brother by himself never would have), but I honestly think she wants to be in his corner so badly that stiffing me was her way of doing that. I got paid back at that point but to wait 2 months and to have to ask.....over $1200 owed to me. So, I have hardly spoken with them since last summer - and now tonight - she has emailed me that she is desparate to speak to me, and her FB entries say she is having man problems. So now, at the end of a horribly busy day - I get to listen/console/advice? someone with whom I don't sympathize with in the slightest. I sound like a real witch, I supposed, but I am on empty where anything to do with my brother is concerned. Thanks for listening!! Any thoughts or comments you may have, do share!!

Well we have decided to not bother seeing the Hoover Dam. Can't run the risk of being late for the show in Vegas. Another time perhaps. Thanks to all for the advice. Nothing worse than driving along and winding up in a major traffic jam.:)

It gets very vicious when there is a group that wants to bash Mormons. I have tried to interject and offer/correct any false things being said - and I was told to go away. The ones that want to hate, will hate, and don't want to be shown the error of their comments. It is quite shocking to see the evil and hatred spewing out of people - for what reason?? Even they don't understand why they are so angry at Mormons for this or that. We are a church of people, of beliefs, existing in this world, so to see how much our mere existance incites people - shows me the power of adversary at its worst. It took me along time, as a convert, to stop lashing out in defence - and then I realized that that same evil was awakening a response within me - and now I hold my tongue.

I haven't read any posts in this thread yet so hope this isn't a duplicate. I discovered CartoonStock - Cartoon Pictures, Political Cartoons, Animations.. This site is hysterical. The cartoon clips I have seen are all clean so I hope that is true for all of them, but I cannot say for sure. Just visit the site, scroll through the cartoons and LYBO!!

Reading through your comments, I couldn't help but feel that you are right in wondering if he has lost his grip in reality or is taking drugs. He sounds very unstable. Just be careful, he doesn't sound in control of himself.

One thing that I wanted to add/remind you of, is sometimes when we see things unfolding in our lives, after we have done all we can to give the problem to Heavenly Father, it may LOOK like it isn't going in our favor - but often times it is the path that needs to happen to get to the desired results. Stay positive and trust in Him.

We are travelling down to the states next weekend. We are going to be travelling from Flagstaff to Las Vegas on the 29th. We have tickets to the Osmonds that night. Mapquest gives 4 hours of driving time for that distance. We wanted to see Hoover Dam but there is construction around there I guess. Will this add too much time to the trip, or would it be a minor delay?? We need to determine if it will conflict with getting to Vegas prior to 6:30PM to get our tickets. Thanks to anyone who can give any first hand impressions!! :)

I was raised in the United Church. When I visit the old church to attend weddings and such, I am filled with feelings of appreciation and love and memories. I am converted to the restored gospel and my membership is solid in the LDS church. I think many people feel that pull and attachment to their heritage being of a certain faith. I think it would be easy to confuse those feelings with other good feelings such as the Spirit bearing witness of truth - if you don't have a deep understanding of it. It took me a long time to separate the two, and understand them distinctly.:)

You hit the nail on the head here. Always comparing him to others. I have been guilty of that my entire life....and then God gives me this child that will definitely thrust me out of my comfort zone. :)

At what age did you go to college? I guess I worry that he will fall so far behind that he will feel like it is impossible to catch up. He should be able to work at this pace, and I am slowly adapting to that mindset. It was a hard one for me, to stop looking around at other people and to keep wanting the same timeline for him. That is why I could not unschool - it is too much of a departure from my own insecurities - I need structure and to see something being accomplished. When I sit with him and read his lessons to him - he understands soo much better than if he reads it himself. Like I put the proper emphasis in my voice as I read along and he loves having me with him. Did that work for you? Thanks for your reply and input.

"sniff"...thanks for the kind words. It is one of those situations that I wish I could see into the future to the outcome of all of this.

My boy is 10. I have been homeschooling him since Grade 1. He has a diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder. I tried him in Kindergarten but by the end of the school year, the writing was on the wall and I knew I had to homeschool. He wasn't severe enough to get an aide or extra help so I knew they would just pass him along and he would fall through the cracks. Well we have been hard at it, doing curriculum and neurological therapy. We work all day long - mostly because he is very inefficient with his time and can take a small job and make it take forever. I have resigned myself to the fact that this is also part of learning, to understand time - how much you have, or don't have and to try and focus and finish something in that parameter. I have recently added a consequence to work that is unfinished - if it carries over to the next day it is an automatic loss of TV/Video game priviledges for that entire day. That has helped him with his motivation to complete his work. What I am stressing about the most today - is wishing he could learn at a faster pace. He should be coming to the end of grade 5, but we are battling our way through grade 3. I am trying, through neurological therapy, to untap and open up that part of his brain that is not organizing itself properly and not doing its job. He knows ALOT of things - he loves nature and science and absorbs these topics without much effort. The reading/writing/arithmetic is difficult. I give him a lesson to work through. He can't seem to absorb the subject matter on his own. If I sit with him, I read the material and guide him through the questions - he does very well that way. Will he ever be able to learn something on his own???? It worries me how is he going to handle himself in life's situations. Am I over-reacting at this point?? Can things change or is this his lot in life??? I am likely not making much sense here - but I give into the doubts sometimes - like today. I pray continously for Heavenly Father to guide and direct me in this endeavor. He created my son, so He should know the best way to tackle the problem. I have to trust Him and just keep on doing what I am doing. Scared out of my mind today, though.

This goes along with the swearing, but I am saddened at how the English language is deteriorating. Not only are there a lot of cuss words but words that began as meaning something entirely different have been "corrupted" and are no longer used as their original intent. I have story books from when I was little (way to long ago, ) and as I read them to my little girl, I have to edit the p***y cat word because I don't want her innocently repeating it and getting laughed at. In fact, reading the scriptures, I have already explained to the kids that the words "ass" and "cock" are used innappropriately in today's society so it is best not to use them at all. I don't like how we are putting two words together to make a new word - Brangelina for instance. Or ginormous. And all of the slang words that exist - I can't even keep up and I refuse to use them. Language is like all other areas of life that are breaking down and loosing the battle against corruption. A phrase begins at one point as something one would "never say!"...and down the road it becomes common place and no longer gives people pause. I feel like Jim Carrey in Liar Liar - covering his hand with his ears, la la la la, stuffing his mouth full of paper, etc.