Mr_Monkey

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  1. This is a long story... I appologize, but I feel that it adds to my question. I've been married for almost 8 months now. But here is my story. Me and my wife dated a little bit before my mission. We never got very serious, but I really liked her and all that. I went on my mission, we didnt really keep in touch, just a couple letters back and forth. Anyways, I came home and she had been dating a kid and was considering marrying him. About the time I got home she decided he was wrong for her and broke up with him and considered going on a mission. During this same time we started dating again, and I knew she was still considering going on a mission. We started getting more serious and started talking about marriage. By this time she was very confused about what to do, she told me she wanted both, and she just needed me to make a decision for her. I just didnt think that was fair and we prayed about it and eventually came to the decision to get married. Our engagement was not like your normal engagement. We had both known for so long that we were going to get married, and her family encouraged us to get married as soon as possible. We planned most of our wedding before we were actually engaged. We had picked out a ring together, and I had ordered it and was planning a proposal. Anyways... I had a rocky start to all of this. I consider myself a very caring person and have always been very conscious to others' feelings and needs. Anyways, she ended up getting mad that I was taking too long to propose and got mad and sad about it. So instead of proposing the way I had planned, I went to her work and surprised her and proposed then and there. It was not what I had planned, but I felt that she just wanted to be engaged more than she wanted a nice proposal. But, I know to this day that she would have wanted a different proposal. Also, on our wedding day I was late. I drive a very old car, and my gas meter is very unpredictable... and ran out of gas on my way to the temple. I was very late, and I understand why she would be frustrated. Anyways... the reason I tell you all this information, I often feel that her expectations are too high, and lately we have had a lot of situations where reality does not meet up to her expectations (my proposal, her endowments, garments, wedding day, married life, etc). And I am starting to wonder if she has depression. She always feels self conscious, ugly, she feels like she doesnt get along with others anymore, and she has a hard time enjoying anything including anything intimate. She loves me, I know that, but sometimes she wishes she had just gone on a mission and married me after. She just feels like we got married very young. Anyways, I just don't know what to do. I try to make her happy, and try to make her feel special or tell her she looks good. But it's just not enough. I'm desperate here... any advice is welcome. Thanks for reading.