sharyll

I understand the desire to want to walk away from a husband. I have been there as recently as three months ago. I was serious enough that I talked to a lawyer. However, after much prayer and counseling, I am trying to make it work. I know in my situation part of the problem was me. My husband has gone and gotten some help as well and that has helped. My question for you is, is he willing to go and get some counseling? I am not a member of the church because of my husband's objections to it. I have been told I am a "dry mormon" and truly believe that. I am trying to honor my husband and be supportive. Slowly over the last three months my husband has been starting to live more of a christian life. We have a long way to go before he might accept the true gospel. I have had an overwhelming peace to stay with him and live out the lds doctrine the best I can with Heavenly Father's help. We also have a child and I feel it is best to stay even if the marriage is having great difficulties. Another idea might be if there is emotional abuse, etc. to ask for a seperation. I know that the time my husband was away did help us as well. I guess what I am trying to say is there is hope for marriage. I would agree if there is extreme emotional (name calling), intimidating, bullying, physical or sexual abuse that you need to protect you and your kids. I agree that talking to the bishop is a great idea. Thanks for listening to my ramblings and hope this helps. Sharyl

I have struggled most of my married life with having to work and wanting to stay home. I have worked part-time which has allowed me to be at home with my son as much as I possibly can. Slowly things have improved for my husband and I finacially until we had a huge set back with my husband getting in trouble with work "Navy" and due to this he lost pay probably be home the remainder of his naval career (18 months or so). We are now struggling again. We just bought a house which my husband wanted and I am struggling with that decision. Since he is the head of the family, I am letting him make this decision hoping this will be good for the family even though I worry about the financial part. Because of my worry and concerns about past maritial issues I started looking for full-time work. Well I got offered several interviews and actually did interview for one. I was offered the job today. However due to some things that happened at the interview I chose not to take the job. When I had left the interview I felt this would not be a good fit and chose to turn down the job. Well now I am wondering if I made the right choice. I think maybe I was suppose to take it. This is all based on fiancial issues. I did not like the attitude of the boss, I didn't like the amount of workload I would be expected to carry which would have met many extra hours after work as well as how clingy my son has been with me even going back to work. I felt awful leaving him for work when we have been home all summer together. Anyway, have you struggled with this and what have you done with uncertain feelings?

I want to thank you for posting and letting me know your opinions. I do not know how to put my husband's name into the temple rolls but will find out and do that. I do know that since I have not spoke of the lds issues that he has been more open about going to our church, tithing and living a christian life according to the church we believe. It is a positive step. I will continue to study, pray and maybe talk to the bishop. Basically you gave me the same advice as my friends and family who are lds. It sometimes is hard to wait but I think it is the right thing to do. I will also continue to come here and learn. Thanks so much for your support. Sharyl

I am wondering is it possible to be baptized without your husband's permission and done without him knowing? If I do get baptized it will cause huge issues in our marriage. I just cannot face those challenges and maybe my faith is not strong enough to do so. I just know I want to be baptized right now. What do you all think? I will make my own decision but just want to hear others opinions Sharyl

Hi Trev, I am not a member of the church but lived in the Everett, Lynnwood area for 8 yrs before moving with my husband in the Navy. Lynwood and Everett have their nice areas but there is also a lot of crime in those areas. It is definately big city life. I would avoid most of Everett. As for Lake Stevens, Marysville - nice areas as I remember but definately a mixed group of people. There is a lot of Native Americans in the area due to tribal lands. There is also a lot of transent population where people move in and out. Some of it is military (navy base) and others are trying to live avoid issues. However there is a lot of very nice people in all the groups. Just very different from Wyoming and Utah since I lived near Wyoming growing up in Northern Colorado (Ft. Collins area). Marysville has one of the largest casinos in the state with the tulalip tribe. The schools in both areas are descent. They are growing communities and probably less small town as they use to be and more a part of the greater Seattle area now. Arlington is a nice area. I have friends up there who love it and wouldn't move. It is feels like a small town but close enough to the larger towns to get shopping and other supplies easily. As for the church, I cannot say but definately would say that from the missionaries I have met from that area as well as the ones I am at now, friends, etc. It is a nice area for church life. Hope this helps.

For me I would want to be a jet setter and travel around the world to these locations - Costa Rica. Want to see more of the country and go back to Honduras to see how things have changed since I was there in the late 80s, then off to Germany, Austria and England to see where my ancestors came from. Then I would want to go to Australia and New Zealand to see friends and visit the country. When I head back this way I would want to see the Eastern part of the US which I have not seen yet. I would love to the see the Holy Lands but for now that is just too dangerous a place. Sharyl

Hi - My husband and I were discussing the story about David and Goliath. Known my most LDS and other Christians, etc. Well he made a comment about other Giants mentioned in the Bible I am not saying there isn't but I don't remember it being mentioned. However what bothered me was the comment that he said it was because of Angels and Men being together that Giants were formed. Has anyone else heard of this? Sharyl

You can look at the scriptures at scriptures.lds.org. There are copies of all the scriptures and I believe they are footnoted and cross referenced. Hope this helps in your search. Another place to read about the basics of the faith is www.mormon.org. Hope these sights are helpful Sharyl

Yes I have been to various demonimations in the Christian faith. I have been to Catholic church a couple of times, LDS, Presbyterian (which I belonged to for a number of years), Vineyard Christian Fellowship, Four Square Church, Methodist (tried once), Lutheran, non denominations, and presently attend a Missionary & Christianary Alliance Church. It is funny - the "holy roller churches" I have been told I belong to are really mellow and you wouldn't even know they believed some of the things that those churches are associated with. On the other hand, some of the nondenominational churches I attended were really wild and at times total choas. I guess I don't see God being a God that causes choas. That is my opinion though. Anyway, outside of the faith I have gone to a Jewsih service once which was fascinating. It was fun to see where the orgins or our faith came from. Sharyl

My understanding is the reason the sabbath was moved from Friday night to Saturday night was Jesus arose on Sunday morning. Hence we are celebrating a new beginning to the new covenant made with God. Sharyl

I think it is wonderful that you want to serve your country. I do not know if it is possible for you to be a chaplain but that might be a route to look at. Otherwise I would agree with the advice here. I would say go on your mission first and then go into the service. I have not been in the service but am a Navy wife. My husband was fortunate to get support from churches he has attended and grown from there but that is not always been the case. I am not a member of the church and my husband isn't either. I am talking from a Prodestant background. Because of that my husband has struggled to find a church that he felt that helped him grow in his spiritual walk. From my experience serving on a mission with a christian organization that helped fly people in and out of remote areas, having been overseas where I had support from church and other missionaries helped prepare me to be a Navy wife. I cannot imagine it the other way around. I also know someone in my husband's command who did not do a mission first, got married young and been in the service has struggled with following the commandments. He just recently went back to the lds church after being involved with the wrong crowd which is very easy to find in the service. I think he has struggled with feeling different. I think going on a mission and growing in your relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus are going to make you stronger and able to handle the temptations that the service brings with it. Sharyl

Jason, I was stating what evangelical christian teaches about the trinity. I was wondering what LDS believe about the Lordship of Jesus Christ since that is a huge point taught in evangelical christianity. Sharyl Hi Sharyl. You belief is fine, but it's not what the LDS believe. Just so you know, they teach that God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are three different people/beings. Unified in purpose, but not the same essense. Jason

My understanding of the Trinity is God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit are all one but have three different roles in the God Head They are unified. They are not different beings with a unified purpose. God the Father and God the Spirit do not have bodies where in the LDS doctrine Heavenly Father and Jesus have district bodies. I believe the Holy Spirit doesn't. I hope that is correct. Sharyl Hi Rosewood, The trinity teaches that God the Father exists. I'm not familiar with Hinduism, could you explain your statement? How is that different than the trinity doctrine? The trinity also says that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are distinct from each other. I've always believed the all of the atonement is free. M.

I am wondering what the LDS doctrine teaches about Jesus being Lord. In the evangelical christian church, we are taught that Jesus is savior and lord of someone's life. I am wondering what LDS doctrine teaches about Jesus being Lord over someone's life. I am wondering do you believe that Jesus is king and helps the person to become more like God. I know that the Holy Spirit also helps with it. I am looking for what you believe about Jesus, Heavenly Father and Holy Spirits roles. Anyway takers? Sharyl

I just wanted you to know I feel your pain. I do not know how old you are. Waiting is tough. My husband wanted that for us and it has caused a lot of grief in our marriage. I am older and waiting made it difficult for me because the older I get the harder it is to have kids. I am now in my early forties and worry I will have an only child. I am heartbroken by that. My husband is fine with it. I do hope you get your desires. The one thing that has helped me is seeking out for support and going to God in prayer. I also started looking into the lds church and that has helped me feel more peaceful as well. Can't explain it but it does.Sharyl

I want to thank everyone for their input. I am not expecting to find all knowing proof that the Book of Mormon is accurate. I am looking for something that shows some findings that support some of the stories like there is with the Bible. I agree we accept these books on faith and I am looking for some support that the Book of Mormon is true. I believe in my heart that the Bible is true even with some of the things that do seem to contridict them selves (ie free choice, or choosen predistination?) It is too early for me to be thinking big theological words. I appreciate all the websites as I continue my search. Sharyl

I was talking to my husband last night about the Bible and how it has archeological research behind it to prove its authenticity. I am not saying the the Bible is a book of history but there have been things found to prove some of the events in the Bible. I was wondering does the Book of Mormon have some of the same thing. I am new to the LDS church and still seeking whether to be baptized or not. I guess this is one of the areas that is holding me up. Would appreciate any comments. Sharyl

Coco the Ape scored a 90 on an IQ test that is barely in the normal range for humans but in the normal range none the less. I have students who have lower IQs than an Ape - my word that is a weird thought. Sharyl I understand what you are trying to say but you have not understood a couple of things correctly. There are people that have liminted intelligence. Some such humans have inetelligence less than the horse you speak of - it is not kind to limit such slow minded people from human consideration. Also there was an ape named Coco that was taught to sign and scored 90 on an IQ test. Please understand that the average for all humans is 100. My point is that if G-d can raise man from dust he could also raise man from another already existing life form. I would point out that most adults in our generation know and understand how humans (man) are created. The Traveler

Thanks for the information. I will check it out. As for my husband and me, we are working on just dealing with maritial issues right now. He has not asked much about the LDS issue and I have chosen to not say anything. Tonight he did ask how come the people have not been bugging us about joining the church. I told them I said he wasn't interested and I was the only one who was. I was taking it slow. He said "oh". I am still seeing the missionaries on Wednesday. I will see what happens. I am taking this slow because I feel like I do not want to push and feel it is the best way to handle it. People are praying for us. I know since he has come home people at our church will find out and be asking. I will deal with it as it comes. I appreciate the support and prayers I have received here and continue to need them. I am also praying. We will see what happens. Sharyl

And it continues to cause my heart to ache. I talked to my husband today about LDS and my interest in the church. We basically told me he had no interest in learning about the church and was upset that I had looked into it. He felt it would cause a rift in our marriage and give us one more thing to fight about. He is very distant when it comes to spiritual things and this has definately at least got us talking. I just pray God would continue to soften his spirit but at this point I feel like it is a rock. He is upset because in the past missionaries have always been pushy with him and wouldn't leave him alone. He also feels the church is hypocritical because he sees members not living up to what they preach. I did tell him Evangelical Christians are just as bad. We are human and that is why we need the Jesus and Heavenly Father. I am not sure what to do from here. I talk to the missionaries again next week. He doesn't know about them but I do know from what he told me he isn't interested in learning about it either. He won't talk with them. I just feel lost right now and sad. Sharyl Never fear, little sister. Don't forget about the power of God. :) I'd agree Ray. I'd also say "Don't forget about the power of Satan." I agree with you both. The power of God is the only thing that can help Sharll and the power that satin has over us is what has caused her heart ache.

Hi, My understanding of the Evangelical Christian perspective about being saved is you are saved when you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Then the process of working out your salvation is called sanctification and that is where the "working" part comes in. I think that there is a seperation from salvation and sanctification. That is what I have been taught and believe. I also see where LDS has a similiar stance just that there are not two terms for it. That is my perspective and as a searcher into LDS I know I may be wrong on my interpretations. Sharyl quote name='lds_mormon' date='Oct 4 2006, 11:14 AM' post='112184'] Then how does their doctrine of "Once saved always saved," work if you can lose salvation? You know what's funny, Evangelists do believe in doing good works as well, they just don't want to admit it. I've had many debates with them over the subject, and they admit that you can't act however you please, that you don't have a free to sin card. It really does boil down to a difference in terminology. They say that we can not earn our salvation. There is nothing we can do on our own to earn God's good graces. And that's basically what we, as Latter Day Saints believe as well. We can't earn salvation, we must have faith. But in order to make our faith complete, we must have works. Like the book of James say, "Faith without Works is Dead." So just doing a lot of good deeds alone may not gain us salvation (in the celestial kingdom), for it is by faith that we are saved, but without the works, our faith can not be made complete.

Karrie, Thank you so much for your email. I appreciate what you said and yes I do need to listen to my gut. I am so sometimes things have been a little rough because I am challenging myself, my beliefs and looking deep for answers and I feel God will show me what he wants and what the truth really is. Sharyl

Josh, I have heard and seen the other side of what the Christian Church says about "mormonism". I have seen movies, read books, etc. I wanted to hear the LDS side this time and hence I am. I am not saying I will convert. I do not know. I am not rushing this and have been reading and researching this off and on for years. This is the first time I have chosen to hear the LDS side. I am looking at their scriptures, talking to them and reading what they say. I am seeing if I notice things I agree with or do not agree with. This is about my own faith and desire to settle something in my own heart. My struggle with my husband is he is dead set against LDS. The other issue is when I have tried to talk to him about my desire to know more he has been angry with me and said a few angry words about how they are off on this or that. From what I can see he is going on hearsay. He is presently deployed but coming home soon. Communication is very difficult for us and so I wrote a letter letting him know what has happened since he left and catching him up. Hence he has read what I put into words. Letters do not do justice for what I want to tell him. The letter was maybe a way to prepare him that we need to talk. I have been looking into this for 10 months. This is something I do not take lightly and still do not feel totally settled on the issue. I guess what I want from my husband is some freedom to search without getting so balistic over it. I appreciate your concern. I am concerned about how this might impact my marriage and I do not want to do something to jeopardize it. I took my vows seriously as well as he did. Hopefully we can work this out and hopefully he will be calm and rational when we talk and hear me out. Thanks for your prayers and advice. Sharyl Hello Sharyll, Let me first say I am not a Mormon, but I have been researching Mormonism. While I have found many problems with it, I have never heard about Joseph having "mind altering experiences" or that "Jesus was just a prophet" But there are other major concerns. You said this is could possibly hurt your marrige, may I suggest that you research the other side before you make such an important decison. I am not permited to give you links to "anti-mormon" sites on this fourm. But I would suggest you research such things as: (1) The lack of Archeological Evidence, and how the Book of Mormon contradicts the archeological evidence avalible. (2) The Plagiarism from The KJV, and other sources (3) The Book of Abraham, and how it is a common Egyptian Furneral text. (4) Joseph Smith's failed prophecies. I am not going to suggest you to only reseach anti-mormon sites, but do look into them. There are also good pro-mormon sites which I can give you, I personally don't think they are correct, but I can give you links to them: "fairwiki" is probably the best, but it is not quite finished yet. "Jeff Lindsay" is good, if a little disorganized. And of course you have "FARMS" (a little hard to find info on there though...) Feel free to email me if you have any questions... respectfully, Josh

Hi Everyone, First of all my husband does not agree with the LDS doctrine and has had issues. Everyone he has told me so far I have found to be false with doctrines you believe. One was Joseph Smith would go into an open field and pray in the hot sun and have mind altering experiences. This is how he made up the church, etc.. Another one which is recent that you believe Jesus is not the Son of God but just a prophet. Boy is that wrong. I know that one even before I started my search that you believed Jesus was God's son. He has others but continues to have huge arguments about the church and feels it is a "cult". I do not see where he gets that but I have known others who have stated that. He was angry with me because I took our three year old son to an LDS church and sat through part of a sacrament meeting. He has no clue what your church is like and was upset that I was exposing him to another faith that he doesn't agree with. There were other things he said but like I said earlier I will not repeat them. I do not know why he has such a dislike/distrust of this church but he does. I think somewhere, somehow some one told him or he was deeply hurt by someone in the church. Just my speculations. Anyway, please pray because like I said I do not know how he is going to respond if I continue to seek out this church. He is dead set against coming. He has a very hard heart to it. I appreciate your prayers and know that what happens is up to us. He is not one to go running out of a marriage. We have had issues in the past and he has been willing to stay and work them out. This I worry might be the straw that breaks the camel's back. We will see what happens. I thank you for listening. Sharyl And you have a child? I really hope things work out.... ...not only is it scary when parents fight... but divorce kills.... even if the kid wants divorce to happen at first... I don't know what exactically you want to happen... but I hope you can work out your merraige!

I wanted to thank all of you for your prayers with my husband and I. My husband received my letter about my going to the LDS church and my desires. He sent an e-mail so everyone who would read it (officers, etc) would see how he felt. He was very angry and called the church things I will not repeat. He was upset that I took our son to a church he did not agree with and felt I was totally wrong. I am deeply hurt that my husband did this. I wrote the letter in private and was assuming he would be considerate and do the same. Please pray because I fear how he is going to be when he comes home. I do not know what is going to happen with my marriage, as well as other things. Please continue to pray for us. Thanks Sharyl