I don't seek out anti-mormon literature, but I am interested in hearing other's beliefs. I've come across a lot of heresy in articles about the church. I can sympathize with how it affected you.
I've personally known people who've attended the temple unworthily, and that's not me being judgemental. There was actual factual.. in the one case I'm referring to it was absolutely black and white. But, she (being a grown woman, with a Ph.D. no less) obviously lied to her bishop and stake president and got the green light to go.
It initially really bothered some people I know. But can you imagine what the temple would be like for someone who, because of their choices, can't feel and experience the Spirit? ... It's just a building.. some wood and paint. Even the different things that happen in there.. would just be meaningless.
I understand how that makes you feel -- to have something that means so much to you denigrated. But I have a hard time with the idea that the Spirit just departs because you read something you're uncomfortable with. No doubt, just as God is real, Evil is as well. But could that feeling you had be the Spirit communicating that that is not truth? I've been taught all my life that the Holy Ghost departs when something bad comes on TV or you read something that is not conducive to His being with you. I don't get the idea that God the Father, Jesus Christ, or the Holy Ghost are THAT touchy! Don't take this the wrong way. I understand that they will not be in a place that is embracing evil, unless of course they're there to help. But to read someone's point of view, no matter how offensive, at least in my experience doesn't drive Them away. They *want* to be with you. They take every opportunity to be if you let them. And no TV commercial that you had no control over seeing or earnestly seeking out truth and not finding it isn't a sin. They love you. They're not LOOKING to be offended; for any chance they can get to depart.
The more you know who you are, and what you believe/know, the less you let others upset you. I was told a silly metaphor once that might apply to you and it might not. I'm sure it was more of a parable then I realize(d) (even now lol) but I'll try to recall it the best I can.
So a man is up in the mountains mining for gold and he takes some rocks in his pan and dips them in a sweet water river, and they turn to gold! And he continues to do this.. and all the rocks he dips in the water turn to gold. Not too long after he discovers this, a gang of bandits comes along and makes him show them how to do it. Once they see, they (not so kindly) tell him to leave so they can have it all to themselves. And the man complies, says, "I'll be on my way," and starts to head out. But he turns back and says, "Oh I forgot to tell you.. ... oh, nevermind. You don't want to know." Of course the bandits step up and they're all like, "Oh yes, we DO want to know." And the man says, "If you think of brown monkeys it won't work." :) How many pieces of gold do you think they were able to make after that? Zero.
So, my advice is, don't brown monkey it. In one ear, out the other. Don't hold on to other's ignorance. Satan would like to upset you and keep you in that space as long as he can. But you know the truth. So let the evil go like water off a ducks back. It's nonsense.
Having said all this, the Gospel encompasses all truth and I think reading other people's views, both in the church and outside it, can be truly enlightening and worthwhile. Take what *feels* like truth, and let the rest go. That's how I've approached it, and I've learned so much, and gained so much light from places and people that don't conform to the same standards we do. Everyone is a child of God. Everyone, including members of our faith, is on a different level of understanding. Try to see past what you may believe are shortcomings or misunderstandings of truth, and see the child of God within them.
((hugs))
