Jia

True but at the same time, if I tell them he's inactive I don't want their pity, I'd like their help. I think he avoids church because he doesn't know anyone that's around our age and he feels out of place.

Hey everyone, I know it's been a while since I've been on here, and as usual I've got another problem I need help with. My husband still isn't active, and doesn't seem like he wants to be either. Says that he doesn't feel like he fits in, and he doesn't want to give up his Sundays off, or his ocassional beer. I'm fine with letting him come back on his own time. I feel like that's all I can do right now. My problem is that I'm embarassed about it. We're in the same ward as my inlaws and everytime I go to Church or even church is brought up, they (and everyone else in the ward) always asks where my husband is. I hate to constantly say "He's sick" cause sometimes, he's not. What am I supposed to say to these people? Especially his parents who tell me that I need to get him to go.

Old Testament - Ruth. New Testament - Paul BOM - Alma the Younger I relate.

What does it mean when a High Priest puts his watch on the podium just as he's about to give his sacrament talk? Absolutely Nothing! Zzz Zzz

Thanks everyone. I've been doing what you said. I went last week to Church and even had the RS Pres over for a few hours. I've been watching more movies like RM, Singles Ward and The Work and the Glory and have even turned my online blog into a more LDS friendly one. I've also been reading more LDS books when he's around, and talking more about it. I've noticed that he's cursing less around me now that I think he knows I care more. He recently quit his horrible job (the worst influence ever) and I'm hoping that because he hasn't had to worry about work this week, he'll feel good enough to go tomorrow.

After a few years of being inactive, I went to church today! Almost didn't. Got about 2 hours of sleep, but dragged myself out anyways and I loved it!

Same thing with my family. I still have a Southern Baptist Grandmother, and a Born again Christian aunt who always want to make sure I read the Bible MORE than the Book of Mormon, lol, but other than that they kinda got over themselves about the whole idea of it. I think a lot of parents are at least grateful that their children believe in something.

How old are you first off? And do they have any previous ideas or opinions about the LDS Church?

Yes, this is kinda like my other thread here, but I wanted some ideas on how to help get my husband active again. I want to go, but I want to go as a family, and he just won't go. It's not even that he doesn't want to, he just won't go. He says he feels out of place (and I know the feeling) and he says he feels like he doesn't belong. I think a big part of it had to do with a Bishop we had long ago that he didn't like, but he's now been released and the ward has been split. My husband has friends who are the furthest thing from LDS, and they are influencing. Everytime I've tried to get him active in the past, he's resisted because he feels that I'm forcing him to do too much or give up too much all at once. But I don't know how to do anything without it seeming out of nature, or pushy. Anyone go through this before? What did you do? Any ideas? I just wish he still had LDS friends in the area.

Hey everyone, it's been a while so I thought I would update. We kinda got into some trouble with our apartment and had to move back in with my inlaws. Been so stressed and my husband is about to lose his job that we haven't made it back yet. That, and I may be having surgery sometime in the next few weeks. I did however watch Work and the Glory all day yesterday, and left it on for my husband to watch. He always told me that if there's anything in the Church he is more certain about, it's the Joseph Smith story that touches him the most. So I'm hoping to spark something. I also went to the 4th of July picnic that my ward was holding at a park. It was fun but I felt so out of place. I watched as everyone mingled with one another and I knew no one. A few people came over to say hello, which was nice, but I sat there with my mother in law who surrounded herself among all the new moms in the ward with their babies. Being around that was hard because hubby and I have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years now and no success, so it's emotional. I wished my husband could have been there. Then I wouldn't have felt like a child dragged their by her parents, which is kinda how I felt. It's a slow process, but I'm getting there. It's just so hard to go from one life to another and leave everything behind, which I know is what I should do, but it's still hard. Especially when my husband isn't going at the same pace as I am.

I'm afraid of volcanoes, red cars and frogs.

Amen Jason! When we first got married my Mother in Law approached us and said that she didn't want us having kids until we finished college. We were in shock! That was until a few months later after General Conference when the Prophet stated that the family is the most important thing you can do in your life. She called and apologised. We haven't had children yet, but that's not because of any other reason that we're not healthy. I want healthy children and to be a good mother, and I need to get myself there before I can do that for my future kids. Is it hard to raise kids and go to college/have debt/have a career? Of course! But it's also hard to have kids in any situation! My mother was 19 years old, divorced from my Father, working full time and going to college full time. But I also found an old term paper from one of her classes where she describes me as her priority, and that even if life was easier on her without me, she wouldn't have it any other way. My brother and sister in law have one child, medical debt, and both are in college and I've never seen a more structured and good God fearing family. Their son gets attention he deserves, the parents get their education, and the marriage isn't suffering. They know what counts in this life: family.

I have personal opinions about this. I don't like birth control because it alters us chemically. I'm studying to be a Massage Therapists, so my views on any type of western medicine are different from most. Birth control prevents life as far as I'm concerned. I understand that people don't want to get pregnant, but if you know your body (irregular or not) you can prevent it yourself without the aide of medication. Not judging those who do use it, just saying my peace. To each his own. Or her own.

LT, I don't have time to write out how thankful I am for your kind words. I guess you got it right. While I did want advice on what to do, I think I just came here for moral support. Someone to say, "Yeah, this is what you should be doing, good job, you're welcomed back." instead of criticism I get from members I know, and family. I appreciate the welcome, from all of you. Thanks!

No I'm not. I thought I was quite clear on that. I'm going to go back. I WILL be going back. I don't blame others. Have I had bad experiences? Yes. Have those affected my choices in the past? Yes. Do I blame others? No. Because it was my choice. I was just saying that having someone reach out would be nice to experience.

Back when I was active (in my youth mainly) I reached out to the inactive girls in our ward. It was so great. A lot of the active girls that were in my class (I was Laurel Pres) didn't like me very much cause one of the activities I planned was to bring gifts to the inactive girls during the Christmas season and the girls in my class would rather have played dodgeball with the guys. Before we were married, I was a ward missionary as well. I loved the calling. What exactly are you trying to get at by saying that?

Pentacostal! That's the one I went to with my ex. They didn't like me there. While everyone was praying, one woman approached me and said, "You won't take him from us. We're stronger than you." Woah! Crazy!

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I'm fully aware that my salvation is my own, but I always hear such great stories about how others have reached out, and since we moved back to our home town, we haven't seen that type of kindness in other members. Even when we did go to church. I'm hoping this new ward is different.

I've been involved with many different faiths. I grew up LDS (until I was about 7) and then I was brought up Wiccan by one of my aunts, which I stayed loyal to until I was fifteen. I've also gone to church with my aunt (Nazarene) it was okay, but it didn't feel like church to me. Felt like just a bunch of people getting together to hang out. I joined the LDS church when I was fifteen, but since then I've also visited another church with one of my ex-boyfriends (before I was married) and he was a holy roller . . . freaked me out!

I'm not going to wait for people to come to me, I was just saying that it would be nice. If I'm feeling better by Sunday I WILL be going, but I'll have to see. Going to the doctor this Friday.

See, is it bad that I just wish someone would come around and try to get us to come? The ward my husband and I had in Utah was amazing! Everyone knew everyone else, and knew whoever was inactive, and the inactive people were never inactive for long because they were always being invited to things. And then we moved back to New Mexico and it feels like people just say, "Oh they're inactive? Well it must mean they don't want to come, so just forget about them." In our old ward (here in NM) when we tried to come to church again, the Bishop took us into his office (keep in mind both my husband and I grew up in this ward and new the Bishop for years before we ever got married) and he sat us down and welcomed us back, said "So I hear you got married, any thoughts about getting sealed in the temple sometime soon?" We were in shock. We were married in the temple! His response to that was, "Huh. Really?" As though we were joking with him. Don't know how this new ward is, but I've just had such bad experiences with the other ward which is right down the street that, I don't know.

I think my biggest worry is that my husband and I married in the temple, he went on a mission and we've been so inactive I'm afraid we'll get excommunicated or disfellowshiped. Nothing scares me more.

Really wanted to go to church today, but I haven't been feeling all that well this week and when I woke up this morning, the glands in my throat were swollen and all red. It kills. But my husband promised me that next week we'll go for sure and he'll be taking good care of me this week to help me get better.

LT - I love those ideas, very good. My husband's schedule now allows us to go to Church but our main problem is this: I don't like going without him, and he hates being forced to go. If someone (especially his parents) nag him about going (which they do SOOOOO often) he won't go because it's natural for him to rebel, even though he wants to go. He was forced into the church all of his life, so when he grew up he kinda rebelled out of repression I think. But he loves the church. He served a mission and loved it! When we were living at another apartment a year or so ago, even though we were inactive, we would invite the missionaries over and feed them. We adore missionaries! They're so great. So I can see that he loves the Church, as do I, but it's so hard when our only support system is his family and they don't support, they seem to judge. Jason - My brother in law says this too LOL! We're generally smart about our bills, but my husbands work pretty much threw us for a loop by messing his checks up a few times in a row right when we got a new apartment, so now we're living paycheck to paycheck and I hate it. We have to not pay one bill just so we can buy groceries.

That's so sweet of you! I've a much better impression of the RLDS now.