rustedwithlove

I wouldn't go that far (well, I would with some sexual abusers, but not all of them), but yes, they should face temporal punishment for a temporal crime. If a priest is sexually abusing someone, that's a crime against a person, full stop. The justice system shouldn't give them a bye just because they're working in a religious occupation. Could you imagine if the U.S. Department of Justice simply said, "Naw, we won't pursue Warren Jeffs's wrongdoings; the guy was just fulfilling an ordinance of the church he leads"? (I know Warren Jeffs isn't a Latter-Day Saint, but I'm just holding him up as an example.) The LDS faith has had some sexual scandals, but not on the level that Roman Catholicism has had, and I think we have better safeguards against it. For starters, we have the 12th Article of Faith; Mormons who commit these crimes don't get to run from the law (or, if they do, they don't get the church's help).

For me, it's mostly the sexual abuse scandals. Like I said, my mom was raised in Belgium, and the Archdiocese of Mechelen (the country's only archdiocese) is knee-deep in these scandals. Combine that with the other sex abuse scandals they've had around the world, and I have a hard time believing that it's not something systemic.

I don't, but I'd like to own one. I've always thought it'd be kind of cool to get a revolver, although I'm not certain if they can fit in most holsters. For a long gun, I'd want a Remington rifle, probably a Remington 150 .22.

If it came from family influence? Probably Catholic, since that's basically the only other religion in my family tree. My father's family are American Mormons, and my mother's family are Belgian Catholics. No in between, more or less. I hate saying that, since I view the Roman Catholic Church as a borderline criminal organization (let me stress that this is a criticism of the church's governance, not the followers), but there you have it. If it was not family influence but personal study, possibly Methodist or Presbyterian.

I find it hard to pay attention in Sacrament meeting or Elders Quorum without playing Tetris on my phone. I know it sounds strange, but something about Tetris makes my brain focus better on what's being said. Fortunately, it hasn't been an issue with my Elders Quorum instructors.

State schooling.

Not sure if this counts as a confession, but... What a great show. :)

We Latter-Day Saints don't have these, do we? Just kidding, of course, but thinking about that gives me the opportunity to do what I've done on a few other forums. The "confession box" is a place where, acknowledging that you're online and thus have some "comfort," as it were, you can vocalize a confession of yours. For example, some of the confessions I've heard are "I'm a big fan of 'Weird Al' Yankovic" (just an example; I LOVE the man and am not ashamed to show it) or "I'm infatuated with [user]'s avatar." To be fair, I'll begin: I am very lazy on General Conference morning sessions. I have a TV in my room that can receive BYUTV; when Conference rolls around, I wake up about two minutes before it begins, then roll over, get ahold of the remote control, and turn on BYUTV. I don't know how controversial this is on the outset, but I have to further confess that I kind of wish more Sunday mornings could be like this.

Parts unknown.

Piano tuner.

I was just thinking about this earlier this week when I was out walking. I wish there was a more neutral manner in which to phrase the question, but I don't know how. I'm currently on an extended holiday in Belgium, and haven't been to church in almost two months. This is largely because I don't have access to a car. The nearest meetinghouse is roughly 40 km (~25 miles) away, and there's no real practical way for me to get there without a car, especially on the Sabbath. (For anyone unfamiliar with Belgium, the country basically shuts down on Sunday, and the train and bus routes are scaled back on weekends.) I don't want to say that this is a major crisis, since my time here is winding down and I'm heading back home shortly, but what if this was my normal situation? Before I came here, a friend of mine in my ward–––"Rob," I'll call him–––told me that his sister-in-law was born in Belgium, and that her family emigrated to the United States when she was still a child. Rob and his brother first met her when they moved to the U.S., as the family moved into a house in their neighborhood in Mesa, Arizona. Mesa, for anyone unfamiliar with the city, has a long-standing history with the LDS faith and a high number of Latter-Day Saints. When I asked Rob why his sister-in-law's family had decided to leave Belgium and settle in Mesa, he told me, "The Church. My sister-in-law's parents didn't think they could raise their children in the Church very well in Belgium." My mother is from Belgium, and my father told me recently that one reason why he and Mom decided to settle in the U.S. and not in Belgium was because the Church is so sparse in numbers here. And it's not just an international thing. I used to live in New England, where I belonged to a stake that included ten units in four counties in three states. I suppose I would find it hard staying active in the church in a place where it's weak in numbers. But at the same time–––and I swear, on everything, that this is NOT an insult against anyone here who lives there–––but I would also go crazy if I lived in the Mormon Corridor, where I'd feel like I was drowning in LDS culture. The saying goes, "Be in the world, but not of it"; I'd struggle with that if I lived in the Corridor. (Where I live, in the South Sound of Washington, is something of a balance between the two ends of the scale.) My point? I'm not sure I have one. I guess it's just this: Does the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints have, for lack of a better word, a geography problem? Are we stuck with a reality where you have places where the Church is saturated in numbers, places where the Church is weak in numbers, and little in between? How (positively or negatively) could this affect the Church?

Downs cell.

Number withheld.

Washington State! :)

The most recent book I read is Assault and Flattery: The Truth About The Left and Their War On Women by Katie Pavlich. It's a political book written from a conservative/pro-life/pro-gun perspective, with Pavlich criticizing many of the politicians and policies pushed by liberals/Democrats in the name of "women's issues."

I appreciate his advice, but he's using a few assumptions. Even if I have everything else completely lined up by the time I turn 26, that still potentially raises the red flag of "Okay, this guy has everything in order... So why hasn't he been on a group date by age 26?" I appreciate everyone else for their advice so far. I hope it's okay for me to say this–––and the mods/admins can correct me if it isn't–––but I'd like to hear some more from the women on this forum. (Thank you kindly for offering some of that perspective, Eowyn.)

I am a life-long member of the Church with a dating problem. That dating problem is... I don't date. I will begin with the basics. I am 23 years old and reside in Washington State, where I am finishing up my bachelor’s degree at the University of Washington. I enjoy creative writing, which is what I’m studying (I’m also studying journalism). My hope is to someday be a published author and travel the world, meeting all kinds of people. I should also mention right now that I have Asperger’s Syndrome. It is very difficult for me to cope with being in large social settings. I feel like this is magnified in Church social settings, because I feel as if members of the Church judge people who are socially awkward. Whenever my stake has Stake Conference, I often try to find a seat in the High Council room (where there’s CCTV set up). That way, I don’t have to sit in the gym, where I’ll develop claustrophobia, get caught up in a mass exodus to get out, and risk having an awkward encounter. In addition to social difficulties, I am also physically uncoordinated (this is usually considered one of the criteria for having Asperger’s). I dread going to Church activities, since most (not all, but certainly most) of these activities are centered around athletics, and I am literally no good. And no, I do not mean that I “just need practice”–––my motor coordination won’t allow me to be proficient in sports. That’s background to while I’m here today: I have never dated. For The Strength of Youth counsels young Latter-Day Saints to begin dating at 16 years old, and to begin with group dates (two or more couples). I missed that window. And I don’t mean by a small margin, either. I’m now 23, and I’ve never double- or group-dated. Never had a girlfriend. Don’t even know how to flirt with a woman. This difficulty with dating, I should stress, applies to relationships with both LDS and non-LDS women. It creats a barrier, but I feel this barrier is larger with LDS women. How many LDS women want to date a socially awkward autistic man who doesn’t like to play sports, hasn’t served a mission (did I mention that?), and struggles with large social settings? I don’t enjoy going to Young Single Adult activities, because I don’t feel like I get a fair shake. All of the YSAs in my stake are organized in closed cliques. And when I say they’re “closed,” I mean that they are locked shut: Membership is by invitation only, and invitations are extended pretty much only when a new Pope is installed. If I try to mingle with anyone at YSA events, I am given nonverbal signals to go away–––in essence, “We don’t have anything against you, but this is our group, and you’re not allowed inside.” Just about everyone treats me this way. This isn’t to mention that 80+% of my stake’s YSA events are centered on sports. Why can’t the YSA program have events centered on trivia or poetry? Why does everything have to be a muscle contest? I haven’t been to a YSA event in at least three years, and I honestly don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. Why be somewhere where I’m miserable? Most LDS women my age are already married. The only available LDS women I know who are a) of legal age, and b ) not busy hunting for a more “worthy” husband at BYU are a few single moms. Women without kids don’t want to date a 23-year-old with no experience; why would single moms be any different? My lack of experience with dating has presented enormous challenges for me in the world at large, but I feel like it’s an even bigger challenge in the Church, because I feel like I’ve failed. I have a bad feeling that, if this isn’t resolved within two years, I’ll end up leaving the Church, because it’s just too painful being this single. Any advice? If anything in this post seems uncertain or unclear, let me know and I'll fill you in.