Guest

When you talk to your bishop, know that his doesn't have to be the last word. It is always good to talk to your bishop, but realize he is a person with opinions that may not be inspired. I have asked a bishop or two, if he feels inspired with the advice he is giving or if it is his opinion. If it doesn't feel right, try the stake president. (I've talked to lots of women in my situation and have been surprised at some of the things their bishops have said or told them to do!) I've had many bishops during my 3 year separation, and now 6 months of divorce (5-6 bishops due to moves and ward splits etc.) and can say, not all bishops share the same opinion about how to handle situations or interpret church guidelines (even now pursuing a temple cancellation have been given conflicting information and direction). During the process of separation, after my husband said we had to stay married because we had a temple marriage, I talked to a member of our temple presidency and found it extremely helpful and insightful. My sex-addict husband was bishop for the last 5 years of our marriage, and at one time confessed to me he has had a problem since he was a teenager, it just got worse as technology advanced. Think of the advice he gave people as a bishop. I've heard some was helpful and some was not. The great thing about the gospel is no mater what, we are all entitle to our own inspiration and if something doesn't feel right, we can keep searching until it does. I had an answer to prayer that it was okay to divorce. I relied on that answer heavily over the next three years as I was questioned and grilled by others and myself about my decision. You have to have your own answer, not just the advice of someone else, to feel at peace with a decision to divorce. When you get fed up enough, and tired of the abuse and lying, you will be able to move forward with the divorce. It is a life changing decision, but I am happy I did. I didn't realize how awful my marriage was until I got out of it. It has been difficult in ways I hadn't realized it would be (losing the support of some friends and family, finances I thought I had worked out being turned upside down, being put in the box of the 'divorced lady in the ward' by some, etc.) But again, so glad I went through with it. I know people that have made their marriage work after dealing with similar situations to mine, but theirs included a repentant spouse committed to long term change during a time of marital separation. My husband tried for a month (with counselors), and couldn't beat his addiction (still found porn webcams up on his computer, night vision goggles in the car etc. and wouldn't move his basement office upstairs). I couldn't live with the dishonesty and distrust on top of the erratic behavior and the toll it was taking on our kids. He is still going to the temple and married a woman 5 months ago that is on her 4th marriage. She seems like a nice lady and they seem to do a lot of fun things together. I'm sorry for him having to live with his addiction in hiding and I am so happy not to be with him. I am working on getting myself mentally healthy and happy. I know the righteous priesthood leader mentioned in my patriarchal blessing will be a wonderful man and I look forward to meeting him in the next life.