JKing

If a mother is cold hearted enough to evict her son, she doesn't deserve children.

You could not be more wrong. I have never as you put it "castrated" my husband and it isn't his home it is our family home.

My husband and I have the same moral code...

That rule would only come from mine and my husband's religious beliefs which is why I don't feel comfortable enforcing it. Of course my son can't break the law in our house or endanger anyone. If he had to smoke pot I would request he do it in the garden so at least the fumes wouldn't harm his younger siblings.

How is that enforceable with an adult?

I don't view it that way. It is as much our Children's homes as it is ours. General family rules on tidiness, hygiene and safety apply so that the house can function. However, the beliefs on moral issues shouldn't be enforced. I have been stuck in the middle of my husband and my son for the past 8 years. I know this time if my husband pushes our son to far then our son will move out, when he isn't ready to live on his own.

He is an adult now, we have enforced our rules on him for 18 years and now he has to make his own rules for his life I suppose that is the big difference I don't look at the family home as my house or my husband's house. It is a family home and everyone has the prerogative to express themselves and feel accepted for their decisions.

I agree with you. I would prefer it if my son wasn't sinning, I am not happy with his choices. However, I respect my son's decision to not be religious and therefore I can't expect him to live by those standards. He has to make his own decisions now and work out what he believes to be acceptable. He is going to fornicate then I don't care where he does it and I don't want him staying away from home all the time. He knows my husband and I don't approve, he is under no illusion that we endorse his decisions. That is a nice principle but impossible to enforce with adult children.

My husband is a member I am not. We have been married 24 years, so for us it has worked out well. I am sure a lot of people advised him not to date me and lots of people told me not to date him. My parents didn't speak to me for 5 years after I married my husband. I am sure he likes you and just wants to get to know you better. I wouldn't worry about his motive, if he likes you he will show you and if he wants to be with you the fact that you aren't a member wont be an issue.

Hi, I have asked a question on here once before probably about a year ago now. My husband and I have 5 children together, he is a Mormon and I am a baptist, although I very rarely if ever attend church. About 18 months ago my oldest son told us that he didn't want to go to church anymore. For the last 3 weeks my son has been having his girlfriend stay over and even though he didn't ask my permission I let it go because he is an adult. However, I did tell him that when his dad gets back from his business trip he will have to clear it with him. This past week my husband has been home and they have fought constantly about his girlfriend staying over. My son thinks he can do what he wants now he is an adult and my husband thinks that if our son is living in our house he has to follow my husbands rules. I don't like the idea of enforcing our rules on our son now he is an adult even if he does still live with us and I know if my husband keeps being strict towards him, our son will move out. Really, I don't understand my husband's issue with it. Would you have a problem with it and would you enforce rules on your adult children if they still lived with you?

Thank you

I almost forgot about this post. UPDATE: My husband and I have the cutest grandson who is 6 months old. My husband is inseparable from our grandson, he even arranged a naming blessing thing. I was wrong to be concerned that my husband would be ashamed of our grandchild.

I taught my kids that they can have free will and their dad taught them about church and religion. They made the choice, we didn't make it for them. We have 2 children who are still very active in the church one of whom serving a mission. My husband couldn't force them to join and I wouldn't tell them what to do.

@JoCa We have discussed it many times over the years how he lets his pride and attempts to have a perfect family impact his reactions and how he disciplines our kids. Also I should clarify It isn't so much of a problem I believe it is the only way he knows how to be a parent. it just upsets me how he cares more about the way he is perceived than our kid's happiness. @Jane_DoeI don't think my husband is keen on forums but maybe you could share some d & c

Hi, I have been married to a mormon man for 23 years now and we have 5 children, I myself am a baptist although I very rarely attend church at all now. There are so many things I love about my husbands faith and the impact it has on our family, I love when he gives the kids blessings when they are nervous or unwell, I love how he sits with them and discusses how they are doing and that we all pray together. However, he is obsessed with having a perfect family and as our kids have gotten older I feel his concern is not for them but for how he is perceived at church or by fellow mormons. When our son decided to stop going to church my husband was so ashamed of our son and there was no real concern of how big a decision it was and that our son may be suffering. I even feel there was little care for our son's salvation and it was mainly my husband worried about people viewing him as a bad father. About, 4 months ago our 18 year old daughter told us she was pregnant and whilst I was heart broken I was just full of concern for her and the baby. My husband was just preoccupied with being ashamed of her and how he would be perceived as a bad father, he was mad but there was no concern for our daughter or the baby. He was even like it when our kids were young if they did something bad at church he would be a lot more angry than if they did it at home or at school. I am asking you is there in the mormon faith or culture a shaming for parents when their children go against the church? Or even when they misbehave? If so why ? Does your husband/ wife want to be perceived as perfect and having a perfect family ?