SeattleTruthSeeker

OldFashionedgirl: I agree with you 100%. Yet, according to most of the Counter-cult's attack on Mormonism, it centers around the idea and false pretense that because we are teaching that it is important to obey Christ and follow after Christ, that we are teaching a "Work's based religion" where it is about oppression and not liberation through Jesus Christ. This comes about because of their perverse misunderstanding of the Biblical Text. While it is sad, many people - including those LDS Women who are caught up in the deception that is being laid out for them, that the stress on perfection sets up a person for automatic failure, which in turn creates an endless cycle of depression and oppression. This is further from the truth. Thank you for providing your comments here.

I posted it, so anyone is open to come over and comment on this article: Are you Worthy? An LDS Woman's Perspective. Come share your thoughts, testimony, and perspectives.

Can I post this on my blog? I would love to have this there. It speaks volumes and it definitely gives insights into the issue that is honest and objective. It speaks poignantly and real.

So, I asked my wife this question (she agrees, I should not wrestle with the pigs in the mud), and she looked at me started laughing and asked me if I was serious. I explained to her my curiosity about this. She provided some insights and details. For her, as an LDS Woman who went through a divorce, she made the mistake of comparing her life to that of someone else. "There is a happy and perfect Mormon Family. That mom is perfect," As we got to talking about us and our marriage, and women within the Church, she provided some unique perspectives. The reality is that women who judge themselves by what they perceive other women in the Church do, sometimes crumble under this false pretense of "that is what a perfect Mormon Woman is supposed to do and be?" and when she can't measure up to that, that is when such feelings can creep in and build up until they feel oppressed. What are your thoughts?

Allow me to summarize the following points so far: According to the women here on this forum, we have learned a little bit. 1) Women are not oppressed in the church. This does not mean that there are challenges that need to be met and satisfied. Family routine, church callings, et all. Within these, women approach life differently than men. 2) Those women who do feel a sense of "worthlessness" is not feeling within the church per say (though some may feel that they are carrying a heavier burden some days), but that society today expects women to be a certain way - predominately from the perception of men (whether within the Church and outside of the Church). 3) The sense of feeling worthless is a common feeling, and that life is not all about having a "happy and pretty life". Success comes by conquering fear and failure. Sometimes we feel too overwhelmed, and other days, we feel like we are on top of the world. Things happen, circumstances occur, and we make do with the best that we have. I know this is not exactly what is said, but my own interpretation and understanding of what is being conveyed.

He has with actual Billboard advertisements in Pocetello Idaho - targeting LDS Women.

I would link to the websites, but felt that would be inappropriate here. However, here is some quotes from their perspective and basis reason for the billboards: And another "loving stab". and then from the website advertised on the billboard campaign: And they claim that they are not "attacking Mormon's".

Are you worthy? It is a question that is on a billboard. These billboards are in Idaho, and were paid for by a new Ministry called "Truth in Love Ministry". Their sole focus is to attract "oppressed women of the LDS Faith who feel they are failing to meet the high standards of perfection". A former latter-day saint has a wordpress blog called Latter-day Saint Woman. She challenges the claims of Mormon doctrine, church instruction, and attempts to explain and expose how women are mistreated within the LDS Faith. Mark Cares, founder of Truth in Love Ministries, also maintains two blogs - one for the "campaign" and the other regarding how Mormonism is false. What then is the problem here? The insinuation that Latter-day Saint women are being oppressed. Having a sense of incompleteness, suffering depression, not able to keep up with the demands of life and expectations. In fact, there are two websites focused on this one single purpose: His Healing Now and Truth in Love Ministries. The first website has stories of "oppressed women of the LDS Faith" that have come out and embraced Christianity by befriending compassionate Christian women. While there is nothing wrong with interfaith dialogue and exchanges, the motivation behind this campaign is very deceptive. It placates to those LDS women who are in an vulnerable emotional state. Something that seems to be a new tactic by these types of ministries. They also (according to Mark Cares) are concluding that Mormon Men are becoming "Angry" at their exposing the religious bondage and oppression of their wives, mother's and daughters. I bring this up here because I have noticed that there is many postings by women who are struggling with emotional concerns, infidelity, questioning of their faith, etc. This is for dialogue purposes here, but what are your thoughts? If you are an lds woman and would like to post an article to answer the question Are You Worthy? from a Latter-day Saint woman's perspective, I am opening up a submission call for this.

Respect your opinion and position here. I would like to point out the last sentence you stated and think about it very carefully: I believe that my wife and I are destined to be together forever.... Now, ask yourself this: If you believe that this life is all there is, how can you also believe that your wife and you are destined to be together forever? This is not to quibble and pick an argument, but to show that there is much more deeper desires within your own heart to believe the plausibility that an honest and true marriage does not end, but continues indefinitely. The changes that you will see in your wife are going to be some of the most positive changes. In that, there is going to be new found attraction. How she relates to her children, as well as you. The main emphasis is on Families. The important part of the Family Relationship, the responsibility parents have in the lives of raising their children correctly and appropriately. Other changes is that she is going to be surrounded by women who are more than willing to help her out. She will have visiting teachers that will come to her once a month, share a message, find out what she stands in need of. She will have hometeachers from the Elders Quorum come over and give her a monthly message (both messages are from the Ensign) and find out if there are any needs. The young ladies will become part of the young women program where they learn the values of chastity, providential living, and living a life of goodness. The other significant change she will want to share with you is Family home Evening. This is time families are to set aside where they do activities, give lessons, perform service projects, or visit those who are ill, hospitalized, et all. The demands on her time are not going to be where she is not going to have any time to share with you, but will be where she is going to want to share with you the blessings that are happening in her life. The other change is her desire for you to consider taking the missionary discussions. Why? Because the other aspect that the Church teaches is the Priesthood authority within the home. As a worthy Priesthood holder, a father gives his children blessings when they need, blessings of comfort and healing for his wife. You may be surprised at how much you are going to change because of the changes your wife is going to have in her life. The things she will discuss with you, the things she will be sharing with you, the happiness and blessings she is experiencing in her life, in your home, and in the lives of your children. It is only if we allow the changes of the other person to come between us that becomes the problem, not the changes themselves. For me, I was dead set against the LDS Faith. I had left it when I was in my mid twenty's. I vowed that I would never come back. I met a young lady who is a member of the Church, we lived together before we got married. She started talking about wanting to go back to church. I expressed my support for her. Next thing I know, my support for her ended up bringing me back to the Church, having a new found testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the reality of forgiveness and the power of the Atonement. I smoked, we drank, and were not living according to the commandments. Our Bishop challenged us to get married, and we did. We just celebrated our first year together this past weekend. We also were blessed with a wonderful little girl. I have three children of my own and I was dead set against not having another child. My reasoning- I do not know where my two youngest are and my oldest, I am having a hard time negotiating time to see him and be around him. Why would I bring in another child into my life when I have three that I can't be a Father too. Yet, this was a blessing that came from above (wife was on IUD when she got pregnant). The downside to this is that I am not going to be able to give my daughter a name and a blessing. It is very disappointing for me because I was looking forward to this wonderful experience. Does that stop me from going? No, it is an experience that I will still be a part of, but not directly. Have my wife and I changed because of our return? You bet, we are more respectful toward one another, we are more aware of what we are allowing in our home, and we are discussing how we are going to raise our daughter. Did I change with my wife? Reluctantly at first, but now am glad that I have, and still am. Have you tried putting yourself in her shoes? Think about this from her perspective (in interpersonal relationship studies this is called Dual Perspective). How would you feel if you suddenly found something that is a "sense of completion" and you know that your spouse may not believe in it, or accept it? How would you feel? What would you do? Granted, and you are correct, you guys are in a marriage and there ought to be open communication and respect, but we are human beings, we are frail and we are not always perfect in all things. She very well could have not discussed with you out of fear of how you would react, and yet, in her own way did discuss this with you in a limited way. This reminds of a passage of scripture. A man comes to Jesus Christ. He knows this man has gone around healing people and comes to him in time of need. He states is request, and then, after being told to have faith, he asks "Lord help me in my disbelief" My honest and objective opinion is not worry about how it is going to "split up your marriage" but look at it as how it is going to help draw you and your wife closer together, how it is going to draw you and your children closer together. Honestly, there probably is not going to be alot of demands. Some of the typical demands are going to be Church (3 Hour block) that consists of Sacrament meeting, then most likely Gospel Doctrine class for new members and investigators, and then Relief Society. Your daughters will be part of the young women's program. Monday nights are Family Home evening. Then whatever ward activities are (typically Wednesday or Thursday nights). Relief society has an enrichment night once a month. Outside of this, there really is not going to be too much demand on her time. Again, my best, and final advice, is to find Mormon Service men in your unit or where you are stationed at, find out where there are meetings and attend these meetings. That is one way you could support your wife. This will give you an idea of the Church service that she attends.

I just noticed this, yes the Church does have an addiction recover program. LDS Family Services - Addiction Recovery Program And here is a Participant Guidebook

This is not about depression from what I am understanding here. It is about selfish greed. It is about not being satisfied with what he has. Does he like Bruce Almighty? A bit corny to mention this, but if you actually pay attention to the story line - it is very pertinent to your particular situation. The character wants to be Anchorman, gets upset when he does not get it and blames God for his demise. God (played by Morgan Freeman) gives him an opportunity to "step into the shoes of divinity". While it is a bit tongue-in-cheek, there is a real lesson to learn here. Life is not about what we can acquire. In fact, Christ himself stated - where your heart is, that is where you are focused on. Sounds like your husband is chasing a dream that will never become a reality, and therefore, will continue to chase after it while neglecting those around him - no matter how much he is a good guy and how much everyone likes him. In fact, I buy two lottery tickets once a year. I don't win, I don't win. What sounds like is he is living in a seriously flawed fantasy land reality and until he wakes up from it, life is going to get worse. This is no different than alcoholism, pornography, drug abuse, domestic violence, emotional abuse, workaholic, et all. It is a very real destructive force that affects everyone in such a relationship. Could it be that he is depressed, quite possibly, but if he is doing it to "cash in" and to "get wealthy" it sounds more like pride and addiction rather than depression. However, I am no psychologist or counselor. I am just interpreting what you are posting here. Truth is, as his wife, you can't "put up with it" nor can you afford to "make anymore excuses" for him and his gambling addiction. You have to be honest with yourself and recognize that this is a real problem affecting your marriage. Which, coincidentally, you mentioned that he is not "passionate". From what you originally posted and what you have subsequently posted thereafter, the issue does not sound like a lack of intimacy in your marriage but a falsified fear of being intimate in which there is a possibility of conception of a child and he feeling that he is not financially adequate to provide for his family, ergo he does not want to have children "until we are wealthy". My wife and I have a six week old. I just found a survival job, she is on maternity leave, we are struggling with our finances and literally are wondering how we are making it thus far, and how we are going to make it in the next month. We get frustrated, we talk, we discuss, we argue, we yell, we scream, we calm down, we talk it out, we allow each other to communicate with one another openly and honestly, we talk about ways to slim down our spending. Majority of the clothes my wife and I have received for our daughter is from other people - second hand stuff, much of it from my baby sister. My wife has connections with other moms in her area where they share where one could get good deals on baby stuff, swapping baby items with other moms, or pass along clothes kids have already outgrown. All it comes down to is the realization that if we set our hearts and minds upon the riches of the world, we will lose our soul, but if we set our hearts upon Heavenly Father and the things he asks us to do, and we seek after him, he will bless and provide us with those things that we need. Some people work hard, obey the commandments and become well off - they in turn bless others out of their abundance when needed - fast offerings, et all. One of my favorite hymns come to mind - Because I have been given much, I too must give. What it sounds like is that marriage counseling is not a bad idea at this point in your marital relationship. Also, taking charge and confronting the gambling habit. It is a hard challenge when you are dealing with an addict - but when a wife is firm, but loving in wanting to maintain a healthy marriage, and consistently prays, things happen according to the will of our Heavenly Father.

As many others have - I too thank you for your service and sacrifice for our Country and Freedom. Others have provided you good advice. There is much confusion about the LDS Faith. Much of this confusion is promoted by various groups and organizations that think they know Mormon doctrine and teaching. As convincing they may seem on the surface, they are far from adequately portraying proper LDS Culture and Doctrine. One of the best things one could do is seeing if there are fellow service men who are LDS in your unit. See if they have services there for them. Also, if you would like, I (or anyone else) could send you a copy of the Book of Mormon for you to read. Another thing, the LDS Culture may seem "heavy handed" to those who are outside of the culture, but the same could be said of the Military life. Those who have not experienced it may find that Military life is too Rigid. This is because one does not know, nor have the experience of such, and it is a totally new thing. Ways people communicate one with another, associate and understand the world around them, et all. Also, I would suggest going online to LDS.org and reading the Church Magazine - Ensign. Also, read through this Marriage and Family Relations-Participation Study Guide I hope this helps.

Before you go to your Bishop, if you can afford it - get a hold of the following book: Living a Covenant Marriage Here is what this book is about: Here is also Elder Bruce C. Hafen's talk - Covenant Marriage That appeared in the November 1996 edition of the Ensign. Here is what Elder Hafen says: This includes "Well I am not being sexually satisfied because I have a different sex drive than my husband", personally, this is pride and selfishness. Yes, appropriate intimacy within a marriage is healthy and good, however, many people have the wrong concept of appropriate intimacy and marital sexual relations. The first issue is to change one's perspective and attitude. Delve into the scriptures, and seek after God. Sit down with the Bishop, discuss with your husband your desires. In fact, the other day, my wife and I sat with our Bishop and we were talking with him about where we are at and the struggle and frustration of me finding adequate employment. Yet, he said something very interesting that has stuck with me today. As I recall, he said to us: "When a husband goes after and does things that benefits and blesses the family and his wife, then his wife will entrust herself to him and know that his desires are her desires." Very interesting thought.

Depending on your state law for Unemployment benefits, when you file for unemployment benefits you have to give a reason as to why you lost your job. In Washington State, if you were fired from your position, you have to give a reason for this, if there was no reason given, you can place unknown. Most employers will let you know as to why you are being let go. Company Policy Violation, Ethical issues, downsizing, company take over, or such. What then happens is that a person submits their paperwork. The State then sends paper work to the employer to find out the reason why the person was discharged from their employment. So, if you put down Fired due to refusal of unethical business practices, your employer will see this. Most likely, the Human resource department and not the supervisor. When you get the letter back, it will show, or the unemployment office will ask for more information because your employer will report back that it was due to insubordination, or refusal to do work or something. If UI denies you, you have the right to appeal the decision and overturn the denial. This does take time, however, the plus side (as for Washington state) once you collect unemployment insurance and file your weekly claim every week, you will get your unemployment benefits for all the weeks that you filed. This will be in a one lump sum of money, and then paid weekly. Check with your State unemployment. Go in and discuss with an Employment Specialist with the state. There also should be some free legal aid offered that may be available to you.

Sign up with the Scouting program. Ask for the pamphlet For the Strength of Youth: Fulfilling our duty to God. And also the True to the Faith pamphlet. I forgot to add these two as well: Our Duty to God: Deacon Our Duty to God: Teacher

Contact a Laywer, contact his supervisor and explain the circumstances. This is illegal. If it was due to you not performing the functions of a job, or a violation of a company policy, I can understand. The other thing, if you are in an At Will State - which means an employer can fire you for anything and not have a reason why, this will be difficult. But I would definitely go down and talk with your human resource manager, contact an attorney to see what your rights are, etc.

You were definitely blessed and the Lord knew right where you needed to be. By the way, welcome back. My wife and I have been back at church - me, it has been almost 20 years, my wife about a couple years. It is a good thing to be back into the fellowship of the ward. We have good hometeachers, and ward family.

That is what I meant lol...sorry was up way too late.

I would go to the ward, and not partake of the Sacrament just yet. After sacrament meeting (which I believe you are referring to and not Temple Gathering), attend the Gospel Essentials class (or the Gospel Doctrine). Then relief society. Find out who the ward clerk is, schedule a meeting with the Bishop. Do not wait for anyone to introduce themselves to you, find out who is the relief society president and introduce yourself to her (probably after relief society). Request visiting teachers and home teachers, maybe ask to have the missionaries come over and visit with you. Keep in mind, it is a Fast and Testimony meeting.

I used to be an insomniac. Things that actually helped me is the following: 1) Look at what is stimulating you? For me, it was constantly being on the computer, watching Television, and just "vegging out". 2) Active during the day time. What are you doing during the day? Are you active? or are you more of a couch potato? 3) Bedtime and awake time. Set your bed time to 9 or 10 at night. Shut off all distractions, read a book, read your scriptures, pray, and then go to sleep. Have your alarm set to wake you up in 7-8 hours. When you wake up, do not go to sleep. Get up and take a shower, do your scripture reading, exercise (a good brisk walk on a crisp cold morning always helps). Clean up the apartment, do a hobby, take a walk in a park, go to work. You will find that your body will become accustomed to the new schedule, but will take some time. Usually, stresses can cause one to be sleep deprived. Right now, my sleep schedule is out of whack because we have a 1 month plus in our home. My wife and I had a baby back on 11.20.2009 so we sleep when she sleeps, and we are awake when she is awake.

Hello and welcome to the boards. I rarely post here, but do come in from time to time to see what is going on and post. You can easily access the scriptures online as well by going to lds.org. Welcome back and yes, it is a struggle because I too am making my way back to the Church. It is definitely a wonderful and interesting journey. I thought I would never get back into the LDS Faith, but here I am.

Get the Book, living a Covenant Marriage. Also, there has to be an underlying issue that caused you to draw to this person. Counseling. Maybe by setting an example for your husband and fully confessing what you are doing, will show him that you are coming out and being honest with your own feelings, your own emotions, and your own realization that what you are doing is wrong.

I could not get past the Introduction. As a writer, this has a serious amount of issues from the beginning of the introduction. One glaring mistake is that this shows the author's unwillingness to take his own writing seriously. NEVER put in a book - especially one like this - JHMO (Just my Humble Opinion). The reader does not want to know your JHMO. In all honesty, there is a lot of work that needs to be accomplished before further consideration in putting this out in published form. Have you had people critique your writing? ie, do you belong to any online writing forums? writingforums.com absolutewrite.com and their water cooler writing forum, writersbeat.com? Also, the use of pronouns "I" does not belong in this type of writing. There is no coherent thesis statement in the writing as well. Mechanics - you have an introduction, then you have a summary. If you understood the writing process, you would understand that the Introduction is where you provide a summary of the key points you are going to discuss and examine. It does not follow American Standard English. You also have no bibliography for source verification. My suggestion, do more homework on writing, publishing, and proper citations. If you are concerned about First Publication Rights and are seeking to have this published, pull the document from your website. Why? Because if you are looking to publish this (unless it is outside of traditional publication formats), the document is considered "already published" and will prove even more difficult to find someone to publish this.

First, you have to understand the Shema of Hebraic thought. Shema is based on Dueteronomy 6:4 "Hear O Israel, the LORD is our God, the LORD is One" (Jewish Virtual Library and Hebrews4Christians). The context is that Israel is not that far removed from Ancient Near Eastern religious thoughts and practices where Polytheistic beliefs were strongly held, interchanged, and understood across different cultures and backgrounds. This is plainly evidenced in the Old Testament. However, when you render the Shema in its original Hebrew Language, you have it say this: Shema Yisrael, Adonai eloheinu, Adonai, echad (which is a more modern Hebrew context). Adonai is Lord in Hebrew. Another rendering of this is where Adonia is with YHWH and God is Elohim. It is here in this context that one has to understand true Hebrew Monotheism. When we get to Isaiah 44:6, we see the full development of Israelite Monotheism in that YHWH is the only God of Israel, compared to the polytheistic pantheon of those surrounding Israel. In fact, another passage that provides some aspect to this is that of Deuteronomy 32:8-9 (which is mistranslated in the Masoretic Text, and has academically been proven through empirical evidence) that YHWH's inheritance was Israel. The current rendering is: 8When the Most High divided to the nations their inheritance, when he separated the sons of Adam, he set the bounds of the people according to the number of the children of Israel. 9For the LORD's portion is his people; Jacob is the lot of his inheritance. Comparing this with the discovery of the Ugaritic Text and the LXX, we have a different rendering: When the Most High gave the nations their inheritance, when he divided humankind; he set the bounds of the peoples according to the number of the children of El, and the Lord’s portion was his people. Jacob, the lot of his inheritance. Scholars admit that Israelite Polytheism represented a more authentic understanding this passage where it is believed that the Israelites believed in a pantheon much similar to that of Canaan, Egypt and other Semitic races. However, it is more understood in the context of Henotheistic rendering than polytheistic because Israel believed that there existed a pantheon of Gods and El being the Most High God in the pantheon. This makes even more sense when one comes across passages like that of Job where it says, "And the sons of God came and presented themselves, and Satan came also among them". It is important to understand this because when Christ comes to preach the Gospel and fulfill his mission, he claims divinity, but he also claims that he is separate and distinct from the Father. To the point that Christ claims that he existed with the Father, that the Father sent him, that the Father taught Him, and that he existed before Abraham and is the Great I AM. Furthermore, Matthew 23 and 24 is a very interesting set of passages that are very eschatological by nature, but it is in Matthew 24 that Christ laments over the city of Jerusalem and the Israelites by declaring that he had gathered them many times before. So, when the Latter-day Saints say that we believe in the Godhead, we do accept that there are three Gods, separate and distinct from one another, however, we believe that they are One in unified purpose, and harmony. The simplest analogy is to say that the Family is One, while there exists three or more separate and distinct individuals who make up that family.

Recently, I have stumbled across a very interesting doctrine that has me developing an actual essay on. This doctrine is known as Subordination, and it pertains to the relationship between the Son and the Father. As I am researching this, I am discovering that the doctrine of Subordination is actually a position that the LDS Faith adheres to. It is just not known as such. Simply put, the doctrine of Subordination teaches that the Son is distinct and separate to the Father and is less than the Father. Meaning the Son is subject to the authority of the Father. The Holy Spirit is subordinate/subject to the Father and the Son. Issue that caused the division between Arianism and the Council of Nicaea. Because of the teaching of Arianus, he believed that because the Son was subordinate to the Father, this made the Son less than the Father, and therefore a created being. For those familiar with the Jehovah Witness Theophany can understand where this doctrine comes from. According to my preliminary research, Arianism moved away from the original doctrine of Subordination and how the Father and Son were distinct from one another. This removal caused the Bishop in Alexandria to dispute his teaching. Because of this, the council was called to determine the divinity of Jesus Christ, the relationship between Christ and the father. What ended up happening was that because those who were against the Arianistic doctrine, believed that Christ always held the same divinity with that of the Father. In this, not only did the council condemn the Arian Heresy, but they also denounced the doctrine that the Son could not be subordinate to the Father. Furthermore, instead of declaring that the Son and the Father were separate and distinct from one another, the Nicene council agreed that the Father and the Son were of the same substance and nature. This contradicts scripture on several levels. The reason why I am posting this is to engage in discussion as to what others think, if they have heard about this, and what research they have done in regards to this.