pushka
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Posts posted by pushka
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I'm in a slightly different position to most who have replied to this thread, in the fact that I'm a newish convert to the church, some on here know that I used to attend the church, as a non-member, in my teens, but that I then stopped attending when I was 18 until earlier this year.
I can see both sides of this situation, I think, as my parents are Roman Catholic, and even tho they don't attend church themselves they were shocked when I stopped attending the Roman Catholic church (which I had done on and off voluntarily since I was around 9 or 10 years old) and admitted to them that I was following the LDS church. They were frightened really, I understand that now, and their fear came across as anger. Eventually they calmed down and accepted this 'new' me.
Now, after I stopped attending the LDS church I eventually got married to a non-member, I was still officially a member of the Roman Catholic church, and as such, here in the UK I was expected almost to send my children to the R.C. schools, I went thru the motions of having them both baptised as babies, sent them to the schools, tried to encourage them in their religious studies and tried, one and off, to attend church with them when they were younger. Sometimes it was an ordeal to sit thru the Mass with one or the other of my kids playing up, but I persevered.
Eventually, when my kids reached adolescence, they were not interested in attending Mass anymore, I respected their view, I attended by myself for a while, I felt I needed that spirituality at the time, I was newly divorced and doing lots of soul searching, but eventually I stopped attending too.
Now, to the present, I've returned to the LDS faith and been baptised, my kids have got to know some of my LDS friends and the Missionaries and think they are, mostly, wonderful people, but they have no interest in joining me at church or church activities. I have tried to persuade them to attend some activities, and my daughter did attend my Baptism and Confirmation, but I do not push them. They respect what I'm doing, they don't scoff or make fun of me, and I respect their choice not to join me.
I do know of a couple of families in my local ward where their children have either gone inactive or are heading that way. Both families love their children very much, but one in particular seems to be struggling to let their daughter have just enough freedom and respect that she might actually choose to start attending church again rather than carrying on heading out of it..She complains that she is given no choice ast to whether or not she attends Young Women's evenings, when her mother said she did have a choice, she said that she wouldn't attend again then, and the mother then said no, you will attend
sadly, this has backfired on the family and the daughter is highly resentful of this attitude towards her feelings about the church culture and what not. In the other family the 2 sons, now aged 19 and 21, have stopped attending church completely. They have both recently left home to go to University, their parents are really saddened by their inactivity, but they have accepted this as being their choice. They have refused to compromise their own standards at home however, and the sons have responded well to this, they are the most respectful, helpful kids I have ever met! Now that they're living away from home, the parents have contacted the Bishop in the city where they're staying, and advised him of where they are living, so that the church members there can support them if they want it. No pressure for them to attend church, but support if required. I think that's a great way for them to have dealt with their sons' inactivity, and I wish them well. -
Hi John, I hope you're feeling a little better from reading the replies you've received already.
I can only empathise with how awkward you sometimes feel around people at church, and the difficulty you have approaching them and trying to make friends.
I actually returned to this church, partly, because of the community spirit and support that I'd felt from the members 30 years ago..It was like coming home to me, however 30 years is a long time, many of my old friends had left, and new families appeared.
I stayed very close to the one member with whom I had contact on the 'outside', sat with her and her family and the missionaries every Sunday, and really longed to be able to just take myself off to another part of the chapel, and introduce myself to the others sitting there. I still feel that awkwardness from time to time now, especially at Ward gatherings: parties etc. where everyone seems to know each other already, for years, and they even know the invited guests from other wards! I panic inside and cannot approach anybody, then I start to feel depressed because if I'd only smiled and said hello, and asked how somebody was, I might have got more than just a hello in return.
So, what's the solution? Well I'm not completely cured of my shyness in public yet either, but I have found myself forced to reach out to strangers (other people in church whom I don't yet know) and others at church in my role as Single Adult Rep. Believe me, I had such high expectations of myself when I first received this calling that I cried when only 2 people turned up for my first 'Meet and Mingle', I felt so disappointed. Eventually, however, I managed to start ringing round the singles in my ward, inviting a core group of around 7 people to events which we all had in common, and tried to find ways to entice the others to some events too..I'm taking really small steps, but I'm improving, I have to speak to the Bishop and his counsellors to ask for help with some of the SA activities issues, transport and whatnot, and it's amazing how much closer I now feel to others at church since taking up this calling. Hopefully, the next time there is a ward event I will feel able to stop and say more than just hello to those people I don't already know very well.
I'm sorry, this has turned into my story, and I didn't want it to do that..I just wanted you to know that I can empathise with part of your difficulty. I would suggest asking your Bishop if there are any opportunities for you to have to reach out to members of your ward, so that eventually you can break thru your shyness too, and get to know more people that way. Ask the Missionaries if you can go out with them sometime to teach investigators, or just to sit in with their lessons.
Good Luck, and I hope you feel much better soon :)
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Wow!! Fantastic pictures and fantastic news! Well Done to you all, really pleased to hear you're all well too :)
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MHW, I'm sorry to hear you're having trouble getting yourself in shape..I've recently started attending the gym again, I haven't been for the past 3 weeks cos of health problems, but I had been attending 2/3 x weekly since the end of May and hadn't lost even 1lb!! I haven't been doing weight training so didn't feel I was gaining muscle, however people who see me now comment that I look as if I've lost weight, even tho the scales tell me otherwise...
So, consult a dietician regarding any special diet for your condition, hopefully you will be able to adapt whatever diet you need to follow to your own preferences, and keep working out as much as you can, sensibly, and use a tape measure rather than weighing scales..don't try to lose more than 1 or 2lbs per week however, as that isn't sensible..
Good Luck!! :)
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Hi Willow, I'm very sorry to hear you're troubled, I hope that we might get a chance to meet each other on Saturday, at the Women's part of the Conference at the Stake Centre, I'm going to the Meet and Mingle at 2pm and would love to spend some quiet time chatting to you, if you're up to that.
Stay strong and know that I'm thinking about you, and looking forward to seeing you again. Your birthday greetings to me on Facebook really cheered me up :)
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Wow! That is sad...some people you think are gonna be around forever
I just read that article and didn't know of all his humanitarian works, a good guy :)
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Hi Laura, welcome to the site :)
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Hi Andrew, welcome to the site, hope you stick around and enjoy yourself on here! :)
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Yay!! Glad to hear you're feeling better..try to contact us as soon as you feel low next time, perhaps we can help you get over it a little quicker :)
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Hoosier Guy, I haven't posted much to you in the past but I still remember reading thru your first thread, about how you wanted to start coming to church, your first meeting with the Missionaries etc. I was just returning to the church at that time and I was so impressed by how well you were doing with reading the scriptures and what not.
I hope that you can overcome whatever sadness has caused you to feel so down and unloved, I hope that your family, friends, people you meet at church and on this site can help you to overcome those feelings..as others have said, we all have a need to vent sometimes, we all have times when we feel down, isolated or other bad feelings, share them with us and give us a chance to help heal you..
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Hi Tina, thanks for joining the site, I hope you enjoy your stay here, lol :)
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Hi Winnie, I just want to say how pleased I am to see you on the site again!!
I would imagine there would be a push towards marrying quickly in a religion which stresses the 'no sex before marriage' so firmly..
I would hope that my own kids would be sensible about their future, career and marriage wise...
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Hi Skywishes, great to hear from you too!! The convention was very good, but I was too tired to go on any of the excursions on Saturday afternoon, the weather was atrocious too so I took the easy option and stayed in bed, lol!
So you're from Leeds, that's not too difficult to reach from where I'm living..Nelson, next door to Burnley, Lancashire, would a get together be out of the question? Maybe at one of the Multi Stake events again? I'd love to be able to meet all the UK peeps on this site, I'm envious of those people from the States who get together pretty frequently
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Did you use the same username at LDSTalk? It does look familiar..I was on LDSTalk from 2003 till it merged with this site not long ago..when were you last on the site?
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Thanks for the tip regarding zip codes Checker.
I managed to sign up and started to edit my profile but when I entered the info. I kept getting a message saying there was a syntax error..so it won't let me login now or anything
Looks like somebody doesn't want me to join that site, lol!! I'll try another day and see if I have any more luck.. -
Thanks for all the replies to my request for a comparison list..sorry I took the thread slightly off topic there Strawberry, thanks for your comments about my posts in general :)
I used to work for British Telecom when I was 17, it was just a training job for 6 months but we were taught all the rules of having a telephone manner and whatnot. I later worked for 5 years as a telephone enquiry clerk. Some of the customers were not at all pleasant while you were either taking their order or dealing with an enquiry on their account.
I once got a bloke on the line who sounded french, he kept insisting that the catalogue company ought to have placed Summer clothing etc. in the Spring/Summer catalogue, and Winter clothing etc. in the Autumn/Winter catalogue...I tried to explain to him that the catalogues were produced before the season so that you could purchase items in time for the season, but he just kept on arguing his point over and over again, he also criticised the quality of the goods and anything else he could think of. We were only supposed to spend a couple of minutes per telephone call, and it was all monitored by computers, so I was under pressure to end the call, I managed to do so eventually and kept my cool with the customer, but afterwards I was shaking so badly that I had to go to the rest area for a break! Fortunately those kinds of calls were few and far between, if customers had a valid complaint against the company, or were struggling with payments etc. I always made time for them to explain the situation fully, I was complimented too, lots of times which made me feel like the extra effort was worthwhile... :)
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Checker, could I possibly borrow a US post code from you? It doesn't have to be your own?
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Hi mtnbikemom, Welcome to the site, I hope you stick around and have lots of fun! :)
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Eeek! It's not letting me join because I don't have a US zip code, even tho I've chosen the option of living in the UK
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Ceeboo, LOL!!! Thank you for your post, hilarious!!
Iggy, thanks for the useful info. re: LDSHearts, I will create a profile there now :)
Rameupton, great idea, setting up a dating forum on here..with the added advantage of already knowing some people's posting history here too :)
Checkers, sorry I can't lend you the $15, lol :)
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Was there a soundtrack to go with that 1st chapter? According to the screen I had my volume set at maximum, but didn't hear anything..I'm using a laptop which appears to have a selective volume control, lol :)
Ignore that remark, I just noticed somebody had muted the overall volume control again!!
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Checker, I'm in just the opposite situation to you..I made myself a member of LDSPlanet but haven't taken out a paid subscription either, I now have 2 messages sitting in my inbox and I can't read them or see who sent them to me...I'm very curious but paying a monthly fee puts me off. On CTRmatch I got to pay just a one off fee of around £10 which is valid until I meet and marry somebody, I think that's much fairer to those of us who aren't rich, lol :)
So, I'd like to ask if anyone would care to sneak a peek at my account (password protected of course, so I'd really have to trust you), and let me know the contents of the messages I've got.
I've recently received a few messages from somebody on the CTRmatch site, but I'm not sure if anything will come of it all..each time I ask him to post a photo of himself, or ask for him to give more details about himself on his profile he just repeats much of the same info that he sent me in his first message to me, and some of his phrases are a little ott..similar to some of the stuff you get in those scam love letter emails we see occasionally...oh well
Checker, since we're both tight a$$ed, perhaps we're a perfect match? LOL :)
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Thank you Checker :)
Would you care, or anybody else for that matter, to compile a comparison list of English shopping jargon and USA shopping jargon for me? I believe you say cart instead of trolley, but can't think what the others may be...
It freaked me out when I heard that Kool Aid is a drink you have to make yourself with powder, sugar and water..so inconvenient, apparently you don't have cordial in the States?
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My parents believed that I would be whisked off to Utah when I used to attend church first time around, sometimes I wish I had been when I see old friends from my ward who are now living over there
The cynic inside me sometimes wonders whether the church has shares in the Coca Cola company, and wonders if that is the reason why members are now allowed to drink it...ooh I feel so evil when I wonder about that!!
LDS Baptisim Question
in Learn about The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints
Posted
This might not sound too great, coming from a newly Baptised member of the church, but I find myself having to ask over and over again, where is the trust? Why can these 2 people not co-habitate in the same way that 2 people of the same sex can, not as a couple but as roommates only? This is one of my major issues with the church, the perceived assumption that somebody is going to commit a sin if they're left alone together and happen to be of the opposite gender...
Sorry, it just gets my gall!