michaela

A dear friend told me to go to a different place each month until I found the right one. I started by looking around me. Everytime I saw anyone with great hair, I asked her where she had her hair done. Each time I made a change, I would tell the hair person my history: lack of a hair-styling gene, hair that curls when short (and not necessarily where I want curls) and frizzes when it gets longer. Almost totally white now even though I'm not quite ready for that. I'm on my third hair dresser, and I love her. Not only does she do great color and a great cut, but she's also working with me as I try to figure out how long to go. She also gave (sold!) me some great products that have allowed me to wear my hair in styles that weren't possible years ago. It's way too easy to stay with someone because it's easy....or because of a sense of loyalty. Getting your hair done should be all about you. If your needs aren't being met, go somewhere else. (Do I sound like I'm doing a blurb for a fashion magazine?!?) :) michaela

I believe the music in that scene is Carmina Burana by Orff. Get that on CD and you can be enlightened any time you want. :) michaela

Maybe Warren Jeffs didn't get that memo! I do apologize, I just couldn't resist! Since the FLDS doesn't recognize the authority of the LDS, and vice versa, they can call themselves whatever they want. They do want to set themselves apart from the LDS, considering themselves to be much closer to the beliefs of the original Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. michaela

Coming into this very late, 14 pages late. I was sexually abused by my priesthood-holding father for years. It was not satanic or ritualistic in any way---it was just sick. I did not need to recover memories. They have always been with me. The recovered memory movement has been quite thoroughly de-bunked. There are some victims of abuse who do disassociate. Their memories wouldn't be considered recovered as described in this thread. Rather, the holder of the memory is identified through therapy. That doesn't make it SRA. michaela

Thank you for all the responses. I did think of another question. What about the church social services? When I was active (a million years ago), the church social services dealt with food and very little else. It sounds like now, the services are pretty extensive. So, how do they work? Who actually carries out the social services. I do know that my mother, before she died, would transport babies that were being put up for adoption. That certainly didn't require any special training or expertise (other than the fact that she loved babies and had raised five of her own). What other social services are available? Are they available everywhere? In every congregation? Thank you again for your information. michaela

Thank you for all your responses. I'm not in need of help (at the moment:D), but I was curious about the Bishop's qualifications. michaela

In many of the posts I've read, people have recommended talking to the bishop about any number of problems: marital infidelity, addictions of various types, unpure thoughts, etc. Do the men who are called to be Bishops receive any special training to deal with these issues? michaela

A renewed study of the passion narratives makes it clear that Jesus was crucified by the Roman authorities. Crucifixion was a Roman means of execution. Also in the the accounts of the Gospels it is the Jerusalem establishment, not "the Jews," who collaborate. ...The shift of emphasis from the Romans to the Jews is often explained by the need of Christianity to present itself as acceptable to the Roman authorities. A deeper reason may well be the theological need for understnding the passion as a fulfillment of the scriptures of the Jews and thus as an inner Jewish event. Yet there can be no historical doubt that Jesus was crucified under and by Pontius Pilate as Jewish threat to Roman Law and order. When the New Testament and especially the gospel of John gives the impression that "The Jews" are the constant enemies and opponents, we must remember that both believers and unbelievers in the Jesus story are Jews. In order to make that more clear some translators choose to use words like "Judeans" or the "the Jewish leaders." One could even think of "the establishment," for there is really nothing especially Jewish in the attitudes of those leaders. (From The Oxford Companion to the Bible, 1993, pp. 33-34.) Even the Vatican has revised its position on Jesus being killed by the Jews. Please let's not perpetuate the inaccuracy. Skalenfehl, I realize you are only quoting someone else. I just feel strongly, in view of the anti-semitism that still exists, we need to challenge these attitudes wherever and whenever they occur. michaela

Countrybear, I can only respond to what you've posted. The way you describe women as though we're all the same---you sound angry. For what it's worth, when I was young and dating, I began to avoid RM's. The ones I knew acted as though they were God's gift to women because they were RM's---and I suppose I can't blame them for that. I clearly remember listening to one of the GA's speaking to us at Ricks. He asked the men what they were doing there: they should have been on a mission or married. The RM's I dated were less than pure in heart. Everytime I went home, I was saddened. (I wasn't a raving beauty, so I definitely didn't inspire tremendous passion.) At the time, I lived in Utah so everyone within my social circle was Mormon. It was easy for me to find other friends/partners/dates who were LDS, but not necessarily RM. I've never experienced the sort of treatment that you describe in your post, but I've heard other people talk about similar things. For what it's worth, I don't think being older, divorced, and not an RM makes you a reject. I did read somewhere on site that the purpose of dating is to find a spouse. I supposed that's true, but it is possible to socialize with others without the expectation of marriage. Starting as friends can be a good start. I wish you the best. michaela

Countrybear, You have made your pain and anger clear. I find the above quote quite disturbing. I'm not sure you understand the gift and the power you hold with the priesthood. You cannot compare withholding the priesthood with a woman choosing not to marry you. I wasn't joking when I mentioned the FLDS in a previous post. You sound as though you believe you should be able to choose whomever you want to marry---and that your prospective wife has no right to say no---because you hold the priesthood. That truly is what women and young girls face in the FLDS. It's not the view of courtship, love, and marriage that I learned about in the church. Believe me, your anger masks any decency, kindness, and compassion that you may possess---and that may make you an attractive prospect for love and marriage. michaela

Countrybear, You misunderstand. I'm not saying you don't deserve to be married. I'm just saying that the priesthood isn't the only basis for marriage. You have to have similar values and likes and dislikes and goals and expectations. You have to love each other. If you think you're entitled to a wife just because you hold the priesthood, you might as well go down and join the FLDS. They will assign you a wife (or two or three)---whether she wants to marry you or not. michaela:D

I agree totally! michaela

CountryBear, To be honest and perhaps brutal, I'm afraid maybe you've confused respect for the priesthood with respect for the man. This is what I have observed: My father became the most eligible bachelor in his ward following my mother's death. He was "gathered in" by many of the family's long-time friends, but he also received a lot of dinner invitations from single women in the ward. He remarried (in the temple) about a year and a half later---but not one of the local ladies. He and his new wife met online through on one of the LDS sites. They do seem blissfully happy. My father is good-looking, well-dressed, well-educated, and financially secure. He is warm and witty and genuinely fun to be with.The women in the ward knew him well from his activity within his church callings. At the time, he was the ward geneology librarian, but he also supported my mother in all her callings.The women in the ward knew how he treasured my mother. They knew how he treated her with love and respect.To be honest, dating after divorce is difficult whether you're a man or a woman. Your posts sound angry---and that's never very attractive. Perhaps you need more time to come to terms with your ex-wife's abandonment. Nevertheless, you're also not entitled to female attention just because you hold the priesthood.michaela

When we were in high school, we called those women sweet spirits, and that wasn't necessarily kind. Being morbidly obese doesn't make you unattractive, ugly, or stupid---unless you're being judged by people who can't get beyond outward appearances. (And to be truthful, do you really want to be with people like that?!?) However, being morbidly obese is unhealthy, no matter how wonderful and accomplished you are. I bold-blacked miserable and skinny above because being anorexic isn't any healthier than being morbidly obese. (I would add a walking club to the yoga class. 10,000 steps!) michaela

I've been more than a little shocked and dismayed by many of the responses in this thread. Shocked that newcomers may read many of the responses and feel unwelcome (to put it mildly). Dismayed by rationalizations offered for being overweight. There is a tremendous difference between being morbidly obese and simply not conforming to society's expectations for women. We have unrealistic images of women crammed down our throats constantly on television and in magazines. The majority of those women go to extremes to maintain their small-size figures. And as soon as they gain an extra ounce, they're attacked in the tabloids. A normal BMI (body mass index) probably isn't going to be a size 0. I believe the average in the U.S. is a size 12. It's incredibly important to love yourself and have a positive body image---and that's much easier when you have a realistic view of what a healthy body (BMI) is. For those of you who are large, I feel your pain! I'm working hard to lose 15 pounds, but I understand that it took two years and some significant personal set-backs to gain the weight. I won't lose the weight overnight. The fact is that you're at a much greater risk for health problems as your BMI increases. Do you give up? Goodness, no. But you have to combine a healthy diet with movement. Will you see results overnight? No. But you keep trying. Love yourself for you. Work at making your body the healthy temple it needs to be. michaela (feeling like everybody's mother)