AKinPA

Elisabeth, I really couldn't cook as a young adult and all I can tell you is that the other day when someone asked the young men what their favorite restaurant was, my son answered, "Home. My Mom is a great cook." So stick with it and don't assume that there is anything such as a natural-born cook. The cookbook I bought my son when he wanted to start learning how to do his own cooking was this one: Amazon.com: Anyone Can Cook (Better Homes & Gardens): Better Homes and Gardens, Tricia Laning: Books. It's awesome because it really does step-by-step preparation with a LOT of photos. It doesn't ASSUME you know anything. And it's got a ton of great recipes in it.

I haven't been in your position. Well, not exactly. I was in my own unique position once though--moral issues and all. When I was (inactive, but) ready to come back to the church, I did come to the conclusion that some things (when you're not married) are just between yourself and Heavenly Father. And whether or not you serve a mission falls into that category. Honestly, so do your moral issues, but if you're going to tackle those, your Bishop can probably help. If it were me, and I were 21 again with my whole wonderful life ahead of me I'd --go have a talk with the Bishop --fast and pray for strength and guidance --read the Miracle of Forgiveness After a couple of months of *just* working on the moral issues I'm willing to bet that some of the other decisions (military vs. mission) will start to come into clearer focus. I read your post and just wanted to give you a hug. Of course, that's the Mom in me :) You really do have a wonderful life ahead of you. Instead of feeling like you're surviving in it, you need to find a way to start thriving in it. Start by growing closer to the Lord. That'll give you a foundation you can really build something on.

Back when my husband was not a member someone once said, "Treat him like a priesthood holder and he's much more likely to become one." Other things that became more important once he did begin to express some interest were making sure that he was part of the social life of the church--I don't know if that's important to all men, but it was important to my husband. Over time, little things touched his heart, but give it time. And do keep inviting him. He does need to know that you want him there.

10 I'm self-employed, too, but we have a lot of debt. We've paid off gobs of it over the last few years, but have been in a holding pattern for a little over a year while we recover from a nearly-dead period of work a year ago. Anyway, I didn't keep up with my estimated payments and we're "paying" for that now. I have faith it will all work out, but maybe not before many more changes.

My husband got a new job! It includes HMO health insurance for the whole family! That alone will save us over $500/month. We've had massive financial problems since March of this year and are finally (as of this Friday when I pay the phone bill and November's car payment) caught up. The previous year we paid off $25,000 in debt. This new job will put us back on track to pay off the last of the debt. Yay!

Yes, ditto :) I don't know anything about the military but I'm a Mom and I know if my sons were making the decisions you have made that I'd be very grateful and proud to call you son.

Welcome :)

Congratulations! Start thinking about what hymns you want to sing for the event :)

Well the POINT of a snake isn't to be dangerous. Heavenly Father provided the creature with a way to protect itself and a way to get food. Poisonous snakes are all meat eaters. Most of that venom is meant for the mice and other critters it eats. Likewise the spiders. The point of a snake is to inhabit its nitch in its particular habitat--whether that's keeping mice or lizards or groundhogs under control or something else. The point of most spiders is to keep other insects or spider populations under control. It's when humans and snakes and spiders want to live in the same spot that there are problems--and this is more about humans and our use of resources than it is about the snake. (That is, we have more choices than the animal does.) Alaska

The only thing I can add here is that I converted at the age of 19. Things were a little easier in that a) the conversion wasn't tangled up in a person I was also dating. I think that situation would have caused my parents to focus their displeasure on that boy. It would have made them more likely to feel that I wasn't really convicted--rather I was acting hastily because of my feelings for the boy. B) I was away at college (many, many states away) and I only had to "hear" their feedback on the phone and in letters and anyway, they're more the stoney silence type than the yell and yell type. But the one letter my father did send was a massive zinger. I had forgotten all about until recently when I was looking back at my journal from that time period. Whoo! It's so hard, that time in life, when the separation from parents gets tough. I was sooo hurt at the time. I will say that 20 years later, it's all mostly forgotten. My father still acts like he just doesn't "get" our church when the subject comes up, but I don't react anymore. I point out that if he really wants to know all he has to do is go to Mormon.org and do some reading or call the 800 number and they'll send out a couple of nice 19 year olds to teach him. The subject doesn't come up more than once every few years. You'll need to make your own decisions about what is next for you and the timing of that. But I can tell you without hesitation that the Lord will help you through whatever you decide and that in my experience, most family members do mellow out over time and trust you to know your own heart.

Hi, Autumn, I tried to PM you but I guess I don't have access to that feature yet :) How do you get their names put on their scriptures? We're in PA, so I have to order all supplies through the mail. Are there supplies I could get at Michael's? I mean, is it basically a stamping type thing? (Not that i know much about stamping, but I did a little embossing with Max's baby announcement a decade or so ago :) Moderator, if this topic has wandered off introductions (since I kind of just jumped on the member couch and squooshed myself in) please feel free to move it to the family section or whereever it is most appropriate. If I'm not PMSing, I'm hard to offend AK

Amy, I saw you are in Corona. We were in Horsethief Canyon and attended Lake Elsinore Ward in 2003-2004. :) Alaska

It is HARD to sit down and type at the computer today because I am floating so HIGH off the ground. The service for the baptism was the most beautiful I have ever been to. There were some snags. Thursday night dh learned I could talk on ANY gospel topic instead of just baptism and so he urged me to say whatever was in my heart. Friday was so full with getting the house ready and grocery shopping for the Potluck and other preparations--plus the arrival of our friends and enjoying their company and young children-- I didn't sit down to write until about 10:30 and at midnight I gave up and just shut the computer down. I don't know if I mentioned, but I work full-time as a freelance writer in educational publishing. If anyone can write on a deadline, I can. But I couldn't. My husband had been waiting up for me and so I told him I'd just have to bear my testimony and wing it. He was fine with that. We went to sleep. The baptism was at 10 am, so in the morning we were up and 'at 'em. Max (big kid) and Chris and my mom-in-law took most of the potluck stuff to the church and hung out to greet people with the missionaries. (My mom-in-law isn't a member and only moved here to be with us a few months ago, but she is supportive and was enjoying herself.) I took the twinkies to the grocery store to pick up dh's cake and get a few more 2 liter bottles of drinks. Our friends went over to one of the local hotels to pick up another dear friend who had arrived from Ohio and they met us at the church, too. Approximately 70 members of the ward, including some of their children, were there. My friend from Vermont, Sarah, and her mother (from Ohio) had both attended my baptism. So Sarah gave the invocation. I felt heavenly hands on my head and was calmed while she spoke. We sang "Because I have been given much," and then I bore my testimony. It went fine. I don't know what I said but everybody cried and said it was perfect later. Everybody cried through the whole service. Brother Penn gave a terrific talk on the Holy Ghost. We all crammed into the area where the baptismal font is. The tiny little room seemed to stretch and make room for everyone. The Bishop baptized Chris and when Chris came back up my twins laughed with joy--I hadn't thought to tell them to stay quiet during the baptism--they're normally good at being quiet when they're supposed to be quiet, but they are very happy little people and laugh often and easily. But it was okay. It was so clearly a laugh of delight. We returned to the chapel and Bro. Penn opened the mike to testimonies. Four people spoke and they were sooo wonderful. One speaker talked about the joyous memories the occasion brought back for him as his wife had joined the church during their fourth year of marriage. He talked about what that day had meant to them and the good things that had happened within his family since then. Another speaker talked about his reaction to hearing the twins laugh. A third speaker talked about a recent experience she had had with hearing the Holy Ghost during a time of need. The fourth speaker spoke about the way his love for the scriptures has grown since his conversion a decade ago. (He knows Chris struggles with the language in the scriptures, but also knows Chris is determined to get past that.) Chris and the Bishop returned at this point, so the Elders' Quorum president gave a talk welcoming Chris to the Elders' Quorum, and that was fun because he got to have some fun with the fact that Chris had been attending regularly for quite some time now. We sang, "Come Follow Me" and Max (my older son) gave the benediction. There was much hugging and congratulating and more tears and then we set up the food, fed everyone, visited, told stories, enjoyed each other's company, and smiled a lot. I was really glad I'd gotten the full sheet cake, LOL! Anyway everyone helped clean up and we went home with our friends from Vermont and Ohio. At the potluck other members of that same family joined us, and so now we had 9 members of that family. We went back to our house with my mom-and-law and visited for the rest of the afternoon. I made a ham dinner for Chris's 38th birthday and we stayed up late talking to Sarah and Justin (Sarah's husband). (Somewhere in there I washed the kids' Sunday clothing so they could wear them again to church today.) This morning we got up and got dressed again. We'd had freezing rain, so Justin struggled, but somehow managed to get his car packed up in spite of a layer of ice everywhere. I had given Chris a leather quad as a birthday/baptism gift, which meant I got my scriptures back (he had swiped mine many months ago, but it's not like I was going to insist he give them back, LOL.). It didn't last long. My older son took them to Sunday school. Maybe if Santa brings him some scriptures, too, I'll get to keep mine. At any rate, we got to church on time. Everyone was still feeling the glow from yesterday. It was like no time had passed since the baptism. They confirmed Chris a member, and bestowed upon him the gift of the Holy Ghost, and then the ward sustained Chris as a member of the ward. Then they proposed that the ward sustain Chris as a priest and we did that. (Max loved that.) Then we sang the Sacrament hymn and the Sacrament was blessed and passed. Chris then bore his testimony, beginning with the fact that never had bread tasted so sweet. And then Chris joined us back in the pews and the rest of meeting was a sort of ordinary Christmas Season Sacrament meeting. A violinist and a pianist did a special music piece and there were two brief talks and then it was time to say Goodbye to our Vermont Friends. (They had stayed to witness and participate in the Confirmation.) I hope they made it back safely home. I did a few things for my calling, then joined Chris in Gospel Principles. Interestingly, I'm not fond of being called on to give any of the opening or closing prayers because I just get so nervous, but noone else offered to close, so I did. And as I walked in the door of Relief Society, I was immediately pounced upon to give the opening prayer by someone to whom I couldn't say no, LOL. So I did. After Relief Society, we rounded up the boys and met at the Bishop's office to witness Chris being ordained to the Aaronic Priesthood. Who knew this day would come? But it did and it is sooooo sweet. (When I got home from church though, I lay down next to Chris on the couch and didn't wake until four hours later. I was tired!!) Thank you so much for all of your advice and kind prayers!!

This is so true. And I don't know if you have kids or whatever, but encourage your spouse to get involved in the social aspect of the ward. My husband started playing raquetball with some of the guys a couple years ago. Then last February or March he went a few times to help out with the Webelos and was soon asked to be the Assistant Webelos leader. In April or so, he said one night, "I'm going to go to church with you in the morning, okay? So get me up." And my jaw dropped because we'd been married 11.5 years at that point and never once had he EVER offered to go willingly (he went as a favor to me a handful of times, though, and he went to older son's baptism). But all I said was, "Oh, that'll be so much fun!" or something along those lines. His baptism is tomorrow. I have a testimony that just loving the church and making the most of it is a great start. Being a good friend and wife to your husband is a good start. Loving him for who he is and where he is at is crucial. Remember he's still the smart, independent man you married. Treat him like you would a priesthood holder and he may very well grow into that role. Chris said to me the other day, "I hope after my confirmation I'll have that light that some of the other men have." and I said without hesitation, "Honey, you've had that light for a while now. You don't have to be a member to have access to the Holy Ghost. Confirmation is just a key step into hearing His voice a little louder, a little more surely." It was HARD sometimes being a part-member family. Temple readiness lessons and eternal marriage lessons were so discouraging. I used to dread them. But that was the only time I'd allow myself to feel that. The rest of the time I just carried on loving the guy and letting God know that if Chris needed a nag, that God would need to recruit someone else for that role. I let myself skip church on Mother's Day because I was just better off at home that day then sitting there in Sacrament meeting without him beside me. But MOST of the time, it wasn't awful at all. Most of the time he knew I respected him for where he was at and he respected me for where I was at and we just worked things out one event at a time. We did modified family home evenings. I kept lessons VERY short. Kept the emphasis on FAMILY by doing games or crafts or activities that brought Dad and sons together. (and brownies. Brownies are a testimony builder And that is all I have to say about that.

Iggy, this is adorable. And he will find it amusing/touching, so I will use it. I'll just add my testimony there at the end. Everyone else, I caved--I called the R.S. Prez and have put the ball in motion to reserve the church for the pot-luck and get the news out to everyone. Now that I don't feel the pressure to have every inch of the house Better Homes and Gardens clean, I feel pretty good about getting everything else done (well, the kitchen will still be a chore, but dh has set aside tomorrow to help me clean, too, and he's willing to do the kitchen and toilets).