NeuroTypical
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Posts posted by NeuroTypical
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Here's a common experience:
"Hi there, I'm bro so-and-so from the church. We see that you're still listed on our records, but we haven't seen you around lately, so we're stopping by to see how you are doing."
"Oh, um... yeah... Um, ... we've been kinda busy lately..." [eyes shift around, as if looking for an escape]
"Oh yeah - I sure know how that is. But don't worry, we're not here to give you a hard sales pitch. We'd just like to invite you out to church. Do you know where the building is?"
"Oh yeahyeahyeah." [Thinks hard for a minute] "Actually, we don't like... really go anymore... So you can like take us off your, um, list..."
"Oh - well, I'm sorry to hear that. And I respect your choice in the matter. I don't have the authority to remove your name from church records, but our Bishop does. There's a process we have to follow. You could write him a letter, or even come and see him..."
"Yeah, I'll do that, thanks. Well, thanks for your time. Thanks for the visit, but I've got to get back to... you know... this thing I got going." [He gestures towards the TV, and then looks embarassed as it dawns on him how lame that looks.]
"Sure - thanks for your time. And if you ever change your mind, just remember, our door is always open. Sacrament meeting is at 9."
[6 months go by - no letter, no mtg with the bishop, and the next set of mormons stop by to see how he's doing.]
Basically, you don't need to feel uncomfortable. You're NOT a salesman, and you're NOT a missionary. By their own choice, they keep their names on the records of the church. At one point in time, they entered the waters of baptism, and entered into covenants. And until such time they remove their name, they're part of the flock, and the Bishop is commanded to watch over the flock, and he is getting help from you to do it. At another point, they were ordained to whatever office they were ordained to. That may not mean anything to them right now, but it means something to God.
Your job is to just maintain contact. To let them know there's an open door and a friendly handshake waiting for them. There are endless reasons why people don't go to church. They don't believe. They're lazy. They're sinning. They're afraid of being judged. They're apathetic. It's not your job to fix any of that, or even figure out what it is, unless they mention it and ask for help. It's your job to let a little of Christ's love shine through you, and extend a hand of fellowship.
Then again, there's the other tactic:
"Hi there. I'm from the church. Here's a request for name removal form, and a tithing envelope. We don't really care what you send back, just send something."
LM
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Hi TheLutheran!
My random thoughts:
So your daughter is dating someone who may go on a mission? Well, if he goes, you can expect him to be fully devoted to his work for 2 years. Missionaries are allowed to write letters, but that's about all the contact they would have.
There are umpteen million "waiting for a missionary" jokes in our church. I sometimes think we've got the majority share of the "dear John" letter market because of our missionaries. What I'm trying to say is, if he goes, and if she decides to wait for him, with the intent of dating him on his return, you can expect that arrangement to last about as long you might expect a 16 yr old girl could make it work. This is not a bad thing, this is a "moving through a period of maturing and rapid growth and important decisions" thing.
But hey, stranger things have happened. I suppose it's not completely impossible that he goes and she waits and they both want to continue a relationship when he returns.
The different faith issue will probably eventually come up. Someone might convert to the other's faith, or they might break up, or they might keep going with their religion differences intact. My own personal belief (and you'll get different beliefs from different mormons), is that it's a mistake to date other faiths, when you're looking for a spouse. Because you marry who you date, and if you date someone with a different set of religious beliefs, your kids end up as the rope in an eternal tug-of-war.
But at 16, they're probably not too serious about looking for their eternal companion.
Mahonri's "Strength of Youth" pamplet is indeed good reading material if you want to know the standards mormon kids are SUPPOSED to hold themselves to. From one daddy of girls to another, you need to be aware: our kids have the exact same hormone levels as non-mormon kids, and their teenage brains mature at the same rate as non-mormon brains.
Welcome!
LM
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I think I see what President Benson was trying to get at with these 14 points, but I must say I don't like the presentation very much. Too easily taken out of context and used to support notions that we LDS all march in unthinking lockstep to the beat of whatever whim comes from the prophet, or that we buy whatever newspeak contradicts last year's newspeak.An article called Fourteen Fundamentals in Following the Prophet may be of interest.
Of course his talk does none of these things, but unfortunately, a quote out of context here, a little stretch there, and it becomes what it isn't.
I much prefer quotes like these:
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I am more afraid that this people have so much confidence in their leaders that they will not inquire for themselves of God whether they are led by him. I am fearful they settle down in a state of blind self-security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purposes of God in their salvation, and weaken that influence they could give to their leaders, did they know for themselves, by the revelations of Jesus, that they are led in the right way. Let every man and woman know, by the whispering of the Spirit of God to themselves, whether their leaders are walking in the path the Lord dictates, or not. This has been my exhortation continually
Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, Vol. 9, p. 150
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Latter-day Saints are not obedient because they are compelled to be obedient. They are obedient because they know certain spiritual truths and have decided, as an expression of their own individual agency, to obey the commandments of God. We are the sons and daughters of God, willing followers, disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, and "under this head are [we] made free." (Mosiah 5: 8 )
Those who talk of blind obedience may appear to know many things, but they do not understand the doctrines of the gospel. There is an obedience that comes from a knowledge of the truth that transcends any external form of control. We are not obedient because we are blind, we are obedient because we can see.
Boyd K. Packer, "Agency and Control," Ensign, May 1983, 66
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Concerning the question of blind obedience. Not a man in this Church, since the Prophet Joseph Smith down to the present day, has ever asked any man to do as he was told blindly. No Prophet of God, no Apostle, no President of a Stake, no Bishop, who has had the spirit of his office and calling resting upon him, has ever asked a soul to do anything that they might not know was right and the proper thing to do. We do not ask you to do anything that you may not know it is your duty to do, or that you may not know will be a blessing for you to do.
If we give you counsel, we do not ask you to obey that counsel without you know[ing] that it is right to do so. But how shall we know that it is right? By getting the Spirit of God in our hearts, by which our minds may be opened and enlightened, that we may know the doctrine for ourselves, and be able to divide truth from error, light from darkness and good from evil
Josehp F. Smith, Collected Discourses, ed. Brian H. Stuy, Vol. 3 (Burbank, B.H.S. Publishing, 1987-1992)
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It is a mistaken idea, prevalent in the world, that the perpetuity of this work depends upon the authorities keeping the masses of the people in ignorance. The truth is the direct reverse, else why have we all these auxiliary organizations and quorums of priesthood in the church, for the education of the rising generation. Their being established in the faith depends upon their knowledge of the Gospel. Our greatest fear concerning our children in Zion is the possibility of their growing up in ignorance of the everlasting Gospel...As a matter of intelligent obedience--not blind obedience--we should observe to keep the word of wisdom. For the same reason we should observe to keep holy the Sabbath day, and the name of our Father in Heaven, and His Son Jesus Christ, and intelligently yield obedience to every requirement that is made at our hands
George F. Richards, Conference Report, April 1907, Afternoon Session, 15-17
LM
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Hi Proposing,
I can't really comment on your eternal progression questions, because it makes my head hurt, and at the end of the day, any answer I could give would just be my best guess. We just don't know.
But I did want to comment on the rest of your post:
The answer to your question is no - Muslims can't (and don't) claim to be Christian. A Christian is one who accepts Christ as savior and redeemer - muslims do not do this. As you mentioned, Islam rejects the divinity of Christ and His atoning sacrifice for our sake, preferring to look on Him as a prophet only.If a Mormon can claim to be Christian can a Muslim claim the same? Islam believes in the Bible as Christians do. They believe in Jesus (in that he was a prophet). They say they believe in the same God as Christians. They say that they were given the continued and true gospel of God.
I don't know what muslims believe about salvation through works. But if you're implying that Mormons believe we're saved through our works, you are incorrect. I've been taught, ever since I was a teeny tiny little mormon boy, that the only way to be saved is to accept Christ as savior. Yes, we believe that God gave us commandments, and we're supposed to keep them. But yes, as we all fall short, as none measure up, we all require Christ to take our sins from us, because we can't do it by ourself. The New Testament is big on "repent and be baptized" and "keep my commandments" - and we Mormons listen.They too believe in salvation through works.
What is the definition of "Christian"? Is it not "Someone who follows Christ"? I follow Christ. Therefore, I'm a Christian. I don't deny the Christianity of people who subscribe to the trinitarian belief, please don't deny me my Christianity because I believe in a Godhead.How can a Mormon say he is Christian by his own opinion when other Christian denominations do not agree because they do not share the same doctrine?
Hope this helps.Thank you for your responses.
LM
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Love and Logic. Absolutely. I love that philosophy. There's just something so cool about watching my kids put themselves in time out until they calm down enough to behave.
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I've highlighted the parts that critics of our church continually fail to understand.Deuteronomy 18:20-22
20 But a prophet who presumes to speak in my name anything I have not commanded him to say, or a prophet who speaks in the name of other gods, must be put to death."
21 You may say to yourselves, "How can we know when a message has not been spoken by the LORD ?" 22 If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the LORD does not take place or come true, that is a message the LORD has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously. Do not be afraid of him.
Prophets are human. You don't become perfect or infallible when God picks you as prophet. Nor is everything that comes out of the mouth of a prophet, put there by God. Prophets have opinions and beliefs like anyone else. Sometimes they're right, sometimes they're wrong.
Here are some quotes from President Hinckley that help clarify a bit:
"We encourage you again to read the talks in your family home evenings and discuss them together as families. They are the products of much prayer and meditation and are well worthy of careful consideration." - October '07 General Conference Report (Please note - several Apostles and President Hinckley himself gave talks)
"We hope that you will use the May edition of the Church magazines as a text for your family home evenings, to review that which has been spoken in this conference. What has been said by each of the speakers represents his or her prayerful attempt to impart knowledge that will inspire and cause all who have heard it to stand a little taller and be a little better." - April '07 General conference Report (Sounds different than "We've revealed new scripture here")
Here's another one, from October 1998 Conference:
"Now, brethren, I want to make it very clear that I am not prophesying, that I am not predicting years of famine in the future. But I am suggesting that the time has come to..."
(So tell me, if everything a prophet says is prophecying, how do you handle it when he says he's not prophecying?)
LM
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Going back a few months, I saw this post from Annabelli. She strikes me as someone who finds great value in the public school system, which is fine with me. She also seems to find homeschooling inferior, which is where we have a disagreement.
I'm not sure if she's valuing public school here, or devaluing homeschooling. If the former, we got no problem. But if she feels these things are absent from a homeschooling environment, or that they're always best, I would disagree. Children vary in the type and quantity of structure/planning/expectations/rules they need. They vary by age, and also individual children of the same age have different needs.Public School is a very structured environment. Children know how to plan for their school day, what will be expected of them, and that there will be no conflicts of interest in their enrollment. There are rules of conduct for personal behavior and achievement levels.
Yes indeed, many kids do need a lot of structure and expectation setting. My 2 kids are good examples. We can provide them just fine in our homeschool environment.
I understand the issue here: "Teachers are trained to teach. Most homeschool parents aren't, therefore, homeschool parents can't do as good of a job as teachers."The teachers in Public Schools are educated in the fundamentals of teaching and concepts of learning. The teachers have studied child development as part of their curriculum for a degree in education.
Most parents cannot provide the basic concepts of education.
It sure sounds convincing on it's face. The problem with it is, it doesn't seem to be a relevant issue. How can we tell? Well, if teachers do better than non-teacher mommies, you'd think the children of the non-teacher mommies would have inferior performance on standardized tests. Turns out, the exact opposite is true. Homeschooled kids have superior test results in every age group, from every demographic. In some cases, vastly superior results.
Does this not completely kill the argument that teachers can educate better than parents?
I'll post a bunch of links at the bottom of this post for those who want to do extra research.
I'd like a little clarification on what this means. I suspect it means that there are times when a parent will change a plan, or abandon an expected rule of behavior, or even do a major switch in curriculum halfway through it. Sounds like Annabelli thinks this is not good for kids. I'd ask her to consider what kind of measure we could apply to see if this is correct or not. Again, homeschooled kids have superior academic performance at every level.I have interviewed many parents who home school their children. They are from all walks of life. One of the characteristics that they all had was "hit & miss" homeschooling values.
This may very well be true. And if it is true, it is evidence for what kids need to be well educated. I would suggest "education level of the teacher" isn't near as important as Annabelli (and many others) might assume.Adults will retain an average of a 5th grade level of education after they graduate from high school. Adults with some years of college and even a degree will retain an average of an 8th grade level of academic studies. And that is to say the adult did not major in education.
Tongue in cheek here - but yes indeed, that's pretty much the definition of homeschooling. Your parent is your private instructor.Homeschooling with a private instructor is a practical solution.
Well, a big reason people go to them, is to evaluate or purchase next year's curriculum, it would seem kind of silly if nobody had anything to sell at them... Why is this a bad thing?Conventions organized for home schooling are basically companies selling products.
My basic response is this: You don't need to attack homeschooling and tear it down, in order to have good reasons to send your kids to public school. The existence of a thriving successful, growing homeschool movement is not necessarily an attack on public schools. Can't we all just get along? You do what's best for your kid, I'll do what's best for mine, and we'll both release healthy, well-rounded, well-educated, mature adults into society.
LM
(the links I promised:)
Rudner Study 20,760 homeschooled kids across America took the Iowa Tests of Basic Skills (ITBS; grades K-8) or the Tests of Achievement and Proficiency (TAP; grades 9-12).
Results:
CATO/Fraser Institute AnalysisWithin each grade level and each skill area, the median scores for home school students fell between the 70th and 80th percentile of students nationwide and between the 60th and 70th percentile of Catholic/Private school students. For younger students, this is a one year lead. By the time home school students are in 8th grade, they are four years ahead of their public/private school counterparts.
These guys look at the history, recent growth, academic performance, and socialization aspects of homeschooling.
Results:
US Department of Education StudyThis paper has established that home schooling is a thriving educational movement both in Canada and the United States. It has also empirically demonstrated that the academic and socialization outcomes for the average home schooled child are superior to those experienced by the average public school student.
The National Center for Education Statistics looks at demographics such as number of HEK's in the US, their characteristics, parent's reasons for homeschooling, and public school support.
Results: The study doesn't look at academic performance, but is very interesting to see who we all are. A similar study is found here.
National Home Education Research Institute
This organization's mission is to:
* Produce high-quality research (e.g., statistics, facts, findings) on home-based education (homeschooling).
* Serve as a clearinghouse of research for the public, researchers, homeschoolers, the media, and policy makers.
* Educate the public concerning the findings of all research on home education.
Here is a state-by-state breakdown of homeschooling laws.
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Hi Anwar,
Just out of curiosity, what sort of demonizing do you think went on in the church? You may have been given some incorrect information.Why therefore were Black people demonized for so long by the Church and it's followers?
Here's something from our Book of Mormon:
For none of these iniquities come of the Lord; for he doeth that which is good among the children of men; and he doeth nothing save it be plain unto the children of men; and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile. - 2 Nephi 26:32-33
And here's a quote from a past church leader, at a time when the civil rights debate was rocking America:
...he is not denied entrance into the Church. He may be baptized for the remission of his sins and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, and if true and faithful to the end, he may enter the celestial kingdom. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds out more for the Negro than any other religious denomination. Salvation in the Kingdom of God is open to him, with the promise that in the due time of the Lord, if he receives the gospel, all restrictions will be removed.
No church or other organization is more insistent than The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that the Negroes should receive all the rights and privileges that can possibly be given to any other in the true sense of equality as declared in the Declaration of Independence. They should be equal to ""life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."" They should be equal in the matter of education. They should not be barred from obtaining knowledge and becoming proficient in any field of science, art or mechanical occupation. They should be free to choose any kind of employment, to go into business in any field they may choose and to make their lives as happy as it is possible without interference from white men, labor unions or from any other source. In their defense of these privileges the members of the Church will stand. - Joseph Fielding Smith, 1957, Answers to Gospel Questions
I've met a few racist mormons in my travels, but for the vast, vast majority, the answer is no.do most Mormons believe that Black people are evil?
Welcome!
LM
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Additionally,
* The book of Revelation was written prior to some of the other biblical books, and prior the Bible being assembled into a collection of texts.
* Even if the passage in Revelation meant that no man could add to scripture; it does not forbid that God may, through a prophet, add to the Word of God.
* In Jeremiah 36, we see a story of a king burning a scroll of scriptures. Jeremiah is comanded by God to re-create the scroll. Which he does, "and there were added besides unto them many like words".
LM
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How come you guys both show up as moderators, but neither of you know what the rules are?
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I've never bothered forming an opinion about them. If I should ever happen to meet a member, I'd enjoy taking the opportunity to see what makes them tick.I'm just wondering in general how other LDS members view the Church of Satan?
I've heard that satanists are more along the lines of the "Make sure you get paid and don't be a dupe" stripe then the sacrifice goats and drink blood stripe, but again, I've never met one, so I can't say.
LM
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You should always be careful putting personal info up anywhere on the web.I am al ittle hesitant to put personal info on the web????
The rule of thumb I use, is don't post anything you don't want read by your worst enemy, your hidden stalker, or your ex-spouse's lawyer.
LM
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You got that right. You've got a hard series of choices. So, are there kids involved?Do I try to work out my marriage and forget my beliefs for the sake of my marriage. Hard times We live in.
Here's my two cents:
At the end of the day, the LDS church is not in the business of breaking apart families. We're big on marriages, and families as instituted by God, and the founding unit of our earthly societies.
Now, if your wife says "be mormon and we're through", she's issuing an ultimatum to you, and you need to make a choice. But (and again, this is just my opinion), I've seen very staunchly opposed people soften their hearts and change their tune in a year or two. If you believe your marriage is worth saving, and if you believe that your wife is ultimately open to exposing herself to different ideas and concepts and sources of truth, you may want to consider postponing baptism and fixing your marriage.
In my mind, a lot depends on if you've already made kids with her or not. If you haven't, for pete's sake, don't bring them into a marriage with such a terrible, foundational disagreement abour religion. No matter how mature the two of you end up being, your kids will be thrown into the middle of it, and be torn in two different directions. If you have, you need to take into account that God has commanded you - mormon or not - to be their father to the best of your abilities.
Good luck.
LM
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Looks very much cool! Thanks for your hard work! A few items:
I couldn't log on with my old "loudmouthmormon" profile. When I logged in, it gave me the link "If this is the first time logging in since the change, you need to update your profile". But when I clicked on the link, it took me to a blank page. I was able to re-register with this new ID, which suits me fine.
When submitting a signup form with a problem in it, the form removes all the data you just spent 2 minutes entering. It would be cool if it would keep your info.
Thanks again!
LM
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Of course it is.And the use of the speaking in tongues is not for the purpose of as you mentioned, speaking french to a french person.
From the Gospel Principles manual:
The Gift of Tongues (D&C 46:24)
Sometimes it is necessary to communicate the gospel in a language we have not learned. When this happens, the Lord can bless us with the ability to speak that language. Many missionaries have received the gift of tongues when there was a great need for it. For example, Elder Alonzo A. Hinckley was a missionary in Holland who understood and spoke very little Dutch even though he had prayed and studied hard. When he returned to a home he had visited before, a lady opened the door and spoke to him very angrily in Dutch. To his amazement he could understand every word. He felt a strong desire to bear his testimony to her in Dutch. He began to speak, and the words came out very clearly in Dutch. But when he returned to show his mission president that he could speak Dutch, the ability had left him. Many faithful members have been blessed with the gift of tongues. (See Joseph Fielding Smith, Answers to Gospel Questions, 2:32–33.)
The Gift of Interpretation of Tongues (D&C 46:25)
This gift is sometimes given to us when we do not understand a language and we need to receive an important message from God. For example, President David O. McKay had a great desire to speak to the Saints in New Zealand without an interpreter. He told them that he hoped that the Lord would bless them that they could understand him. He spoke in English. His message lasted about forty minutes. As he spoke, he could tell by the expression on many of their faces and the tears in their eyes that they were receiving his message. (See Answers to Gospel Questions, 2:30–31.)
The Gift of Translation (D&C 5:4)
If we have been called by the leaders of the Church to translate the word of the Lord, we can receive a gift to translate beyond our natural ability. As with all gifts, we must live righteously, study hard, and pray to receive it. When we do these things, the Lord causes us to feel a burning inside concerning the correctness of the translation (see D&C 9:8–9). Joseph Smith had the gift of translation when he translated the Book of Mormon. This gift came to him only when he was in tune with the Spirit.
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Just speculation, but maybe the explanation is similar to why there was a huge burst of angelic visitations and manefestations surrounding the birth of Christ, but not so much before or after.If such a gift existed and was seemingly common among the church in early times, why is such not seen in our meetings today, with appropriate translation?
Consider - we hear about angels doing the following:
* Visiting Zacharias, commanding him to name his son John
* Visiting Mary before she was overshadowed by the Holy Ghost
* Coming to Joseph in a dream, after he found her with child
* Appearing to the shepherds
* Warning Joseph to flee away from danger with his family
* Keeping watch on Jesus' family as Herod tried to have them killed
I guess this isn't really an answer, just a different way to think about the question. If angels were so commonplace around 33 b.c., how come we hear so little about them in other periods, or today?
We can guess a few sensible reasons why new dispensations are marked with miraculous things like angels and displays of tongues. I don't know that any revelation has settled the matter for us, though.
LM
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Really? I didn't know there was any such claim made. I thought it was just a particularly beautiful form of Hebraic poetic form.Chiasmus = The Language of the Lord
I ain't an expert, so I might be off base here...
LM
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For the English, probably your best bet would be to get in touch with Royal Skousen, who is in the middle of creating and publishing his life's work - discovering the original text of the BoM. He's released a few volumes, and has a few more to go.
For the Spanish, I'm not sure. Probably look them up at church HQ in SLC.
But now we're all interested - what changes you got in mind?
LM
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Maybe I can shed a little light.So anyways.... Does anybody other than me find it a little wrong that something that is supposed to be between me, the other party, the bishop, possibly the stake president, and the Lord, is within the purview of the Deans of Students?
The burden of sin on your soul is between you and the Lord (and His representatives).
Repentance may or may not remove consequences. Facing consequences is usually part of repenting.
If the choice is lie (sin again) or pariah, you're supposed to choose pariah. But I'm not sure you'd be faced with such a choice. What's wrong with figuring out plan B, and saying "It wasn't working out, so I decided on plan B instead"? For that matter, what's wrong with "Mind your own business"? You're not responsible for other's gossip.Whats so bad about being kicked out of school? Well back home you have to lie to everyone about why you left the school or else you will be a pariah. You have to lie especially to your non member friends because it can and in most cases will do harm to the image of the church in their mind.
Yep. Consequences can stink. And they can be permanent. All I'm saying, is don't underestimate the value of a life lived free of the burden of sin. You may only see the downside of repenting, but God will not leave you hanging.I can totally see why some people just don't confess here. They say like me, "Can't I just get stoned to near death and get on with my life?"
And, as other people have mentioned, you may or may not get kicked out of school. Again, sin=soul's concern. Consequences over breaking your solemn word/student code = world's concern. And the world loves contrite sorrow.
In order for me to sit down in the 'hotseat', I had to face the possibility of all sorts of awful consequences. It makes no sense to tell you which ones I had to face and which ones I was spared, since my situation is different than yours.
Again, good luck.
LM
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Sorry you're not getting what you want here. Repentence can be a very personal thing - especially when it's over certain kinds of sins. Please don't feel personally offended if few people are willing to speak openly about their similar situations from their past.
You could check out the other current thread on confession guidelines.
For my part, I've sat in the 'hot seat' in front of the Bishop before. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. By the end of the process, it was also one of the most freeing, cleansing, healing things I've ever done.
Good luck.
LM
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Hi JRF - welcome! I'm not exactly an expert on other kinds of religious faith, but I've heard stories like yours before.
Also, you're in good company with your family beliefs. My dad was quite anti-religion throughout his life. He was a little more good-natured than some folks I've encountered. Whenever meeting a new mormon, he'd shake his hand and either say "you know, I've never sinned", or "you know, I'm Jesus Christ" - just to see how the other guy would react. He was always heaping some good-natured ribbing on his mormon friends - and me. He got a little angry when I started paying tithing, but he allowed me to find my own way in life, and for that I'm grateful.
My advice - you don't have to agree with family, and they don't have to agree with you - but life is a lot more enjoyable when everyone can get along and love one another.
You came to the right place! Ask away!I am hoping by joining this forum to gain some insight on the doctrines and have some nagging questions answered. And of course, get some support!
Welcome again.
LM
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IMO, the goal of parents is to equip their children with the tools, strengths, and resources they'll need to make it through a life where stuff like this happens.A friend of mine with teenagers said that other kids will put porn on their various electronic gadgets and show it to their friends. What to do?
So, what you do, is equip them. Play 'what if'. Walk them through the process. Teach them to pick good friends. Teach them about the judgements they're supposed to make about other people, and the judgements they should not make. Teach them how to avoid bad situations, how to minimize the impact of bad situations, and how to repent. Talk to them about how nobody is perfect, everybody makes mistakes, and there's a way to get through the curve balls life throws at you and move on. Show them love, respect, and understanding. Give them discipline. Teach them about consequences.
Do all that, (and the other stuff I forgot), and maybe they'll make it through.
LM
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First and foremost, here is what the Strength of the Youth pamphlet has to say about abuse:A counselor friend of mine has a theory that many women who go inactive do so because they are too afraid to take the step to talk to the bishop about a transgression, especially if they have been abused by men.
Victims of rape, incest, or other sexual abuse are not guilty of sin. If you have been a victim of any of these crimes, know that you are innocent and that God loves you. Seek your bishop’s counsel immediately so he can help guide you through the process of emotional healing.
Ok. As to guidelines, again, this comes from Strength of the Youth manual:
You always need to confess your sins to the Lord. You should also confess your sins to those you have wronged. If you have committed serious sins, such as immorality, you need to confess them to your bishop.
For that matter, the entire pamphlet is worth reading over and over. You can find it at lds.org --> Gospel Library --> Support Materials --> Youth Support Materials --> For the Strength of Youth.
LM
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By the way, I also post on the forum I suggested to you.Thanks for the advice. Perhaps you are correct. I will check that forum out.
It is obvious you are quite confortable with the "little box" you've allowed others to create for you, and it's my opinion that perhaps it's best you stay in it. Afterall, I don't want to rattle your cage lest if falls apart and you'd have to think for yourself.
And I still wish you well.
LM
Software
in General Discussion
Posted
A slightly more direct and useful link is here: Gospel Library - Media Formats