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Part of me believes that yes, I don't understand the distrust of African-Americans towards law enforcement. Young African-American men get extra scrutiny from police, and that's not fair. Another part of me says it's not my fault, and I hate being put on the defense because of my race. I'm ot a "white privilege denier." I'm just a guy living my life. It's easier for me, but the answer is not to make it less easy for me. Rather, we should find the pathway to that place where everyone gets treated right--as unique individuals. In any case, this author says I need to be quieter and listen more: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/rebeccaflorencemiller/2014/11/ferguson/

So, I haven't posted much on here - so I will review the situation I am in. My husband left me about 18 months ago. At the time I was 2 months pregnant, and we had one other child together (I also had an older child from my previous marriage). Well, to make a long story short he suddenly quit counseling (we were living seperate and trying to work things out... or so I thought). After that it became quite apparent that he was already seeing someone else. A within 4 months of our being separated he was living with this other woman. --On a side note, my husband was baptized (I believe genuinely) about 6 weeks before we separated. He ran completely away from the church (obviously, since he was living with another woman). I know that this man has some serious emotional problems (quite possibly even some depression himself). He also has a pornography addiction that he has always denied. His past is full of using woman, lying and cheating - but I can say without a doubt in my mind that I was prompted to be with him and stay with him when things got bad. -- I spent most of the past 18 months in a VERY deep depression. Most of the time I wanted to die. I felt so alone in miserable in my life. My husband stayed as far away from me and the kids as possible (even though he lives and works in the same small town we are in). I feel like he almost flaunted the fact that he was with someone. I on the other hand stayed loyal to my values and relied on the Church and my faith to help me struggle through my life. Eventually I had had enough of it, and filed for divorce even though I could not get a solid confirmation about it throught the Spirit. I guess I should mention that part of the reason I got so depressed is that some of my blessings (before he left, and after) had hinted at the fact that we would end up together in the long run. The promised were very vague - but I always felt that it meant we would be together. About 2 weeks ago my husband started texting me and hinting towards wanting to again return to his family and quite possibly even chruch. Anyway, as circumstances would have it he and his girlfriend split up. He was staying at a friends house a few houses down from her when she showed up and attacked him (tried to choke him and stuff). So, I offered him my couch until he could find something better. Well, that turned into hours of talking about what happened between us and how he ran away when things got bad and returned to his old patterns... So I guess we are going to try to reconcile again. I know we need to get back into counseling because I have sooo many hurt feelings and trust issues with this man. I question whether or not he is being sincere or whether he just needs a place to stay. I don't even know if any of this made sense. I don't even know what I am asking here. I guess it comes down to "Is it just plain stupid to try to reconcile after our history?" I am really willing to forgive him and work towards the future... I just question whether or not he is ready and sincere. I do want to add that we stayed up last night talking some about the gospel and about what happened between us. I do think that he does regret a lot of the things that has happened between us. He talks about going to back to church and he understands that he will have to talk to the bishop. He says he is scared of the hurt and pain he will feel. I think a lot of his "change of heart" is superficial right now, but could develop into somthing more in the future.