Anti-Depressants - do we really need them?

[Elphaba]

Most recently I got through a horrible bout of depression thanks, once again, to friends. I did not have health insurance and could not afford to seek out medical help in any way, so I was forced to trudge through it with the help of friends, some of whom have gone through it themselves, others who have not.

I know how exhausting and, sometimes impossible, it is to struggle through the mud field called depression that sucks you down so low, but that you must come up for air to survive. And this struggle is not over when you do, as you must do so again and again and again. The sheer exhaustion that seeps into your bones oftentimes makes it worse, and there are those who give up, and I understand why they do.

It makes me sick you could not get medical help.

I am relieved to know you have friends who understand how desperately you need them to stick with you, even when you are below low. In my experience, that is a rare thing.

Good luck to you.

Elphaba

Edited June 17, 2008 by Elphaba
Because I wanted to.

[Elphaba]

I have stewardship over them...is that good enough? :)

It is a case-by-case when they request a personal interview to listen to the member and what is given by the Spirit for an answer. One must be that atuned to the Spirit Elph.

So are you the equivalent of chaplain, or a spiritual advisor to your Marines?

If so, then I have misjudged the situation. You do, indeed, have stewardship over them.

I usually don't, since it is not needful for many here to know.

Thank you for your clarification.

While I couldn't have known this while writing my posts, I do apologize for my assumption you were a commanding officer of sorts. I think you would be an excellent spiritual advisor.

Elphaba

[MormonMama]

I know how exhausting and, sometimes impossible, it is to struggle through the mud field called depression that sucks you down so low, but that you must come up for air to survive. And this struggle is not over when you do, as you must do so again and again and again. The sheer exhaustion that seeps into your bones oftentimes makes it worse, and there are those who give up, and I understand why they do.

Yes, that is exactly how I have felt at times. Though I'm always glad to have someone to talk to who truly understands it, I'm also sorry to see yet another person who has to go through it as well.

It makes me sick you could not get medical help.

Thanks. I admit I wasn't as forceful as I should have been in getting the help I needed, but I thought the doctor would know best, right? As soon as DH's insurance kicks in I am going to see a doctor about this and INSIST that I get the help I need. If that doctor won't help, I'll go to someone else. This past bout was the worst I have felt since I tried to commit suicide years ago, and it lasted longer. I'm afraid I won't survive the next one. A cousin of mine tried to commit suicide just a few weeks ago, and is now in a mental hospital for treatment (and doing much better). She's only 18. I think that was finally the kick in the pants I needed to say NO MORE! I just have to make it a little over one more month.

I am relieved to know you have friends who understand how desperately you need them to stick with you, even when you are below low. In my experience, that is a rare thing.

I am very blessed and grateful to have the support network I have. My DH is incredibly supportive as well. I'm so lucky to have him.

Good luck to you.

You too! I'm glad we're not arguing anymore. :)

[Elphaba]

Thanks. I admit I wasn't as forceful as I should have been in getting the help I needed, but I thought the doctor would know best, right? As soon as DH's insurance kicks in I am going to see a doctor about this and INSIST that I get the help I need. If that doctor won't help, I'll go to someone else. This past bout was the worst I have felt since I tried to commit suicide years ago, and it lasted longer.

Good for you! Do not let them bully you, as many doctors are wont to do.

For me, the problem with getting help when I was a serious danger to myself is that I DID NOT have the energy to explain everything, in the detail they wanted, to consider if I needed help or not! I could not make it to their office on my own, and so sitting with a doctor who kept yammering at me just confused and frustrated me. They did not realize how dangerous my depression was, because I was so debilitataed I couldn't communicate it. It makes me tired thinking about it.

I'm afraid I won't survive the next one. A cousin of mine tried to commit suicide just a few weeks ago, and is now in a mental hospital for treatment (and doing much better). She's only 18. I think that was finally the kick in the pants I needed to say NO MORE! I just have to make it a little over one more month.

When I hear that someone has attempted suicide, it is terrifying to me. It's as if I am sucked back to my attempt a year and a half ago. I feel like I'm traumatized all over again. I sincerely hope it does not do the same to you. But I am sure it is not easily dismissed as you fear the same. You are right--you need to get help as soon as possible, while you are still lucid enough to do so.

A word of advice, which I'm sure you already know. I would not rely on a doctor for help. When someone's depression is as severe as yours, a psychiatrist is the only choice to truly get the relief you need.

You too! I'm glad we're not arguing anymore. :)

As am I.

Elphaba

[Tough Grits]

A word of advice, which I'm sure you already know. I would not rely on a doctor for help. When someone's depression is as severe as yours, a psychiatrist is the only choice to truly get the relief you need.

I learned this the hard way. Still, the General Practitioner that I went to did give me meds, and they did save my life. But if I had it to do all over again, I would have gone straight to a Psychiatrist. I am seeing one now.

I always wondered why my Psychiatrist would have me in and out of his office in under 15 minutes.

Come to find out, insurance companies dictate to the docs how long they can have a session before it is not covered. If it were not for my insurance company, he would probably spend more than 15 minutes with me and he would probably talk to me about more than just my meds, but then it would be on my dime. At one point, it was. I paid $70 per visit, and he would see me every other week or so. Gradually, my visits stretched out further and further between visits. Back when I paid, he did not have me in and out in 15 minutes, and he would talk more about what was going on than he does now.

I am hoping to one day see a psychologist or family counselor in conjunction with my psychiatrist. I do not know if my insurance will cover that though. That may have to wait until I get my degree!

*SIGH*

[Elphaba]

I always wondered why my Psychiatrist would have me in and out of his office in under 15 minutes.

Come to find out, insurance companies dictate to the docs how long they can have a session before it is not covered.

The 15 minute rule is criminal. People who need more time than that are not getting it, and they are suffering for it. I do not really blame the doctors, especially when they have to waste their time getting procedures approved, etc.

I have been extremely lucky to find a doctor who treats only fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. She knows how debilitating it is, makes sure she understands everything I tell her, and takes as long as necessary. It took me years to find her, and another year for her treatment to actually make a difference (other than pain meds). But she stuck with me when every other doctor I'd seen for the previous years threw me out because they could not diagnose me in 15 minutes.

I am hoping to one day see a psychologist or family counselor in conjunction with my psychiatrist. I do not know if my insurance will cover that though.

My observation only: insurance companies will pay for a selected number of visits, but no more. I believe twenty is a common amount.

Again, this is only my observation. It may not be true for other insurance companies/benefits.

*SIGH*

I couldn't agree more.

Elphaba

[Guest Username-Removed]

I thought I would share a poem at my most depressed time. I showed this to my doctor when prescribed the anti-depressants. Of course, I dont feel this way at all now, but I thought I would share with you how it could be with someone you know ....

Divorced Dad

By Mark

March 25, 2000

Life is better now and is more tolerable.

But the part that’s missing makes my life empty, not whole.

The absence of my kids is nearly unbearable.

The visit with them is now nearly complete,

only hours & minutes before they go.

The moment of joy then sorrow is at my feet.

They said that a man is built to conquer his emotions,

It’s like climbing mountain peak, with absolute control.

But my love for them is bigger than all the mountains and all the oceans.

I wonder, “will they love me”, as the years go by?

Will it be something they’ll believe and know?

Will my love be as big to them, or seem like a lie?

This challenge has no paths and no roads.

There is no way to build one here, and no way to leave.

My feelings of love never sleep, a trap set by someone whom I don’t know.

So here I am, with love inside that never ceases,

it’s like a warm breezy day, without a kite.

It’s the kind that hopelessly tries, but never pleases.

Oh God! I’m now a divorced father, it seems I have no honor.

Surely this is hell, or worse, not quite.

If it were hell, my love for them wouldn’t matter.

But the kind of father I am makes it matter,

How much longer must I wait?

Will it ever end? Will it ever get better?

If it does or if it doesn’t, it’s a sacrifice that wasn’t chosen.

A sacrifice made by many, the kind that keeps me awake.

The mountain seems too big, and certainly, much less the ocean.

Copyright © 2000

[MormonMama]

A word of advice, which I'm sure you already know. I would not rely on a doctor for help. When someone's depression is as severe as yours, a psychiatrist is the only choice to truly get the relief you need.

Sorry, I did mean a psychiatrist or psychologist (though I'm not sure if I will have to get a referral from a GP with our new insurance or not; hopefully I won't get a hassle about that). Sorry I didn't clarify that. :)

[ruthiechan]

Sorry, I did mean a psychiatrist or psychologist (though I'm not sure if I will have to get a referral from a GP with our new insurance or not; hopefully I won't get a hassle about that). Sorry I didn't clarify that. :)

Just remember, a psychologist can help you with the cognitive therapy, but the psychiatrist is the one who can give you meds.

I would also like to comment that many people with depression also have anxiety, and anxiety can be just as diabilitating. I have both, and I too used to be suicidal and cut myself. I actually have a scar from when I cut myself. I use it as a reminder that things aren't so bad anymore. I also remember feeling so anxious about things that I couldn't communicate what I was being anxious about or why. It was especially awful when those turned into panic attacks. I remember as a child be so afraid at school, but not being able to say anything, and I would cry and fight going. It wasn't until I started twisting and pulling out my hair so that the sides were shoulder length and the back was long did my mother decide to put me back in homeschool. It wasn't until a few months ago was I able to tell her why I was so afraid of going to school in the third grade.

Regarding Bipolar, that is a cyclic type of Depression/Anxiety, (so is SAD, and even PMS) where you go from mania (basically hyper insane go go go) to depressed (can't get out of bed). It's the extremes and the frequency. It's so normal to have ups and downs, but not the way bipolar people do.

Regarding poetry, I don't think ya'll wanna read the things I wrote when I was depressed. . .

The most important thing to someone with these issues is someone who will stand by you no matter what. Someone healthy enough to be able to lift you up. I found that person in my husband while we were dating. He was positive, logical, and compassionate all at the same time. I needed that.

[Guest Username-Removed]

The most important thing to someone with these issues is someone who will stand by you no matter what. Someone healthy enough to be able to lift you up. I found that person in my husband while we were dating. He was positive, logical, and compassionate all at the same time. I needed that.

It is important to find someone for support. I've never had any issue before my personal tragedy. Nor have I had issues after. But they sure came to visit when I was going through divorce! At the time, I had some friends, but I never realized the need for close personal friends when such an event happened.

Today, I have 3 really close personal advisors. They are in different states, they dont know each other, and they have my best interests in mind. If I should ever have a really terrible thing happen again, I will call on them. Plus, I will call on my Heavanly Father for extra help. I believe the best chance for success when these things happen is having both types - Heavenly and earthly. I think its important not to let any one earthly friend get too much of a monopoly as your personal advisor. Even the best of friends can be tempted to do bad things.

I am so thankful for my life sometimes I say to myself. "I am so lucky!" Yet, 10 years ago, I thought my life was over! I just goes to show what a little time, faith, and work can do.

[MormonMama]

I remember as a child be so afraid at school, but not being able to say anything, and I would cry and fight going. It wasn't until I started twisting and pulling out my hair so that the sides were shoulder length and the back was long did my mother decide to put me back in homeschool. It wasn't until a few months ago was I able to tell her why I was so afraid of going to school in the third grade.

I used to get bullied at school. I remember many, many times when I was literally physically sick to my stomach at the thought of going to school. This was back in the days when they told you to ignore bullies and they'd eventually stop. I know from experience that this is NOT true, and I was hounded for years (that's part of why I tried to kill myself in high school and started cutting myself). Since no one would take me seriously, I just quit telling people what was going on. Then my parents couldn't figure out why I tried to kill myself. I remember my mom refusing to believe me when I finally told her, and I remember VERY clearly what she said: "Why would you want to kill yourself? You have a family that loves you, you have food and clothing and a house. There's nothing in your life that would make you want to do that." Now she admits that she was just so shocked that she didn't know what to do, and handled it very badly, but unfortunately I learned from that experience not to trust other people with my feelings. It took me YEARS to get over that and finally seek help from others.

Regarding Bipolar, that is a cyclic type of Depression/Anxiety, (so is SAD, and even PMS) where you go from mania (basically hyper insane go go go) to depressed (can't get out of bed). It's the extremes and the frequency. It's so normal to have ups and downs, but not the way bipolar people do.

I'm pretty sure I'm not bi-polar. I know people who are, and I just don't experience the extremes in emotion that they do. When I get in a funk, it can last for days, weeks, and even months (like the last one), but I don't swing rapidly from one extreme to the other. In fact, I'd say I'm almost never manic or highly energetic.

The most important thing to someone with these issues is someone who will stand by you no matter what. Someone healthy enough to be able to lift you up. I found that person in my husband while we were dating. He was positive, logical, and compassionate all at the same time. I needed that.

I agree, and I'm so glad I have my husband as well. While my friends have been a great support, that isn't the same as having support within your family and home.

[ruthiechan]

Mormon Mama, I know you do not have medical insurance right now. Nor do I.

However, I believe you should purchase a book. It has helped me greatly better understand myself and has given me tools to combat my own worst enemy (my paranoid mind). It has also helped me deal more positively with my five year old daughter whose shyness borders on anxiety.

It's called "Healing Anxiety and Depression" by Dr. Daniel G. Amen and Dr. Lisa C. Routh.

You can get it at Barnes and Noble though you may have to order it in. This book coupled with the guidance of the Spirit has been invaluable to me.

[MormonMama]

It's called "Healing Anxiety and Depression" by Dr. Daniel G. Amen and Dr. Lisa C. Routh.

You can get it at Barnes and Noble though you may have to order it in. This book coupled with the guidance of the Spirit has been invaluable to me.

Thanks. I've heard of it, but never checked it out. I'm sure I could even find a used copy somewhere for cheap. I'll take a look.