Clinging on to faith....

[ravenbsp]

I have been an active member of the church all of my life and served a mission in Europe. I had a lot of success

during my mission years and was unshakeable in my faith in Christ as my Savior. During this time I was in a severe

bike injury (broken back). I refused to leave the mission and recovered and completed the work there. During this

time, however, I fell into a state of deep depression (something that has plagued me sporadicaly most of my life).

I held on,despite feelings of suicide, to my knowledge that Jesus Christ was my Savior and Redeemer. The 20 years

since that period has been one of intense struggle with depression and suicidal ideation.

I have sought medical, psychological from professionals and spiritual guidance from priesthood leaders.

I have faithfully kept up the mechanics of obedience (personal prayer, prayer with my wife and children, FHE, sunday

meeting attendance, temple attendance, accepting and fulfilling callings, I was ordained a high-priest when I was , but have progressively felt less and less as my depressions have become more frequent, longer and profound. I feel no antipathy towards the gospel, I still believe in the existence of God and Christ.

I simply do not feel apart of it. I feel forsaken by Him whom I have tried to serve.

I understand that some of the medications that I take can lead to a flat affect, a general disinterest in things, apathy. But if I stop them for any amount of time, thoughts of suicide return (lease not that I do not feel suicidal presently, nor have for a few years So please don't feel that I am in danger of ending my life)

I have been inarguably been blessed in the intervening years. I was able to complete complete my PhD in molecular and cellular biology and have been working at a top ranked cancer hospital in the country for several years. That said, I have also nearly died of a prolonged bout with cancer and bacterial meningitis, the latter of which required me to learn how to talk and walk again. I've been told that the lord is just testing me. If this i

With this background out of the way, I feel a rapidly diminishing affinity for God or Christ. My feelings of spiritual abondonment are beginning to escalate to resentment and questioning the existence of God. I am not certain what more I can do or sacrifice for Him to merit, not temporal blessings, but some semblance of spiritual well-being, faith. I have been councilled by a bishop that I need to learn to accept the atonement and let the savior make up the difference. I asked him how to do this beyond what I am already trying and he had no answer for me. Another bishop simply told me that its something I will just have to live with and that I my never have any resolution. I've also been told that the lord is just testing me. If so, then I am clearly failing.

These experiences have mostly decimated my faith. Over the past few years I have felt increasing resntment but now I mostly don't care one way or the other if god exists or not, with one exception. I need to stay active and do whatever I can to help my children in their relationship with the lord.

The bottom line is that I feel apart from the plan of god but still belive that those around me are deeply loved by Him.

I'm sorry to ramble and thank you for listening.

Edited June 22, 2008 by ravenbsp
syntax

[skalenfehl]

Ravenbsp, welcome to the forums. I cannot pretend to imagine the struggles that you have endured. It sounds to me like you have been very valiant throughout your life in spite of your difficulties. In my experience, people valiant as you are under constant attack by the adversary, who uses every means possible to bring you down. He never sleeps nor tires of trying to convince us that we have no worth or that we have been abandoned. It is different for each of us. I believe that you have great worth and that the strength that you have received in life can be found again and even passed on to your children. I know that Father in Heaven has His hand stretched out to you all the day long.

I testify to you that our Father in Heaven never will allow us to be tested more than we can bear. I can say with conviction that He will put us right up to the edge so that we can reach for Him when it feels like there is no hope left. It is then that He will show us His true power and that the power that we receive in overcoming the adversary and the world is greater than we can imagine when our hearts are fully turned to Him. It is a difficult first step, but please do not feel like it is hopeless. It isn't. I know. I hope you will continue to be a part of this forum and share your struggles as you seek to overcome them and pass this strength on to us and to your children. We are here for you, brother and I will pray for you. Best wishes.

Edited June 22, 2008 by skalenfehl

[Tough Grits]

The following thread may be of help, if only to let you that you are not alone in your struggles...

http://www.lds.net/forums/general-discussion/11866-anti-depressants-do-we-really-need-them.html

I am not sure if there is anything that can be said. I went through my own battle with depression and with suicidal thoughts (though there was never any physical action attempted on my part...just a sincere wish to return to heaven and leave this earth).

Nothing anybody said to me helped or alleviated my agony. I just endured. Looking back, I just know that it was pure faith alone that got me through the worst of it. It is always easier to look back on a dark period of depression than it was to actually endure it.

I am on medicine, and there are still times, even with my medicine, that my heart just aches and I am low. Besides the medicine, I have also learned that I have to be burdened down with a busy schedule or else I will want to wrap myself in a cocoon of blankets and sleep all day, every day.

So, I am a wife, a mother, a full-time paraprofessional at an elementary school, and I go to college full-time. I hate my schedule, and I am tired all the time...but I would rather be bettering myself, bettering my family, and be tired...than to be wrapped up in my covers sleeping my life away.

Does being busy take away the depression? No. It is always there. But being busy keeps me from dwelling on it every moment of the day.

I do know that God loves me. I don't know why I have to suffer with depression. But I know that everybody has something that they have to suffer and endure. If it was not depression, it would be something else. Maybe this does not make me feel better necessarily, but it helps me to understand that I am not alone in my struggles with mortality. Everybody struggles, just in different ways.

Besides, what if my struggles with depression can help another? What if my children will have the same struggles as they become older? If I can endure, then I will be able to help them and be a support of understanding for them. There are more people who do not understand mental illness, than those who do understand it. So, we (people who have had to suffer/endure mental illness) are in high demand! There are so many who need us and our supporting words of love and encouragement.

Just as I do not want my children to suffer alone or in silence, should they ever have depression like me, neither does our Heavenly Father want us to suffer alone or in silence. He is there for us. He does love us. But it does help me to know that I do not have depression as some kind of punishment. Some things just are. Just as I have brown hair and eyes because of genetics, what if my depression was also something that I inherited from my parents?

That is, in fact, true. I did inherit it. My father and his side of the family has had a few suicides and many with depression. My father is on medication as well.

Just as I do not blame my father for my illness, neither do I blame Heavenly Father. He did not do this to me.

These are the thoughts that help me to remain positive and not bitter towards Heavenly Father for my illness. I know that it may not help for everybody, but I just thought that I would share.

I hope that you will eventually find the light at the end of your tunnel. I found mine, but it was through my faith in the gospel, the love and support of family and friends, and through medication. If any of those things had been missing in my life when I first became seriously ill with depression, I do not believe that I would be here today.

May you find relief...

~TG

Edited June 22, 2008 by Tough Grits
typo

[Guest Username-Removed]

Ravenbsp,

I’m so sorry hearing about your depression. While I can’t say I know what you’re going through exactly, I can say that I have experienced some depression in my life that did last for a few years. There were times that I did wonder how long I would live to bear the burden of the feelings I experienced.

My two years seemed like an eternity. The only thing that kept me going was another hobby and my doctor who prescribed an anti-depressant. I also got involved with I creating a website and sorts and even became famous in my hobby for a few years. It was very uplifting to be recognized for my work in my hobby. I even had the opportunity to meet other famous people that shared the same hobby. Looking back, I found my internet participation as it related to my hobby very sustaining.

My personal testimony of the Gospel was also very supportive. I did grow closer to my Heavenly Father, and could see his hand. At the same time, I did find my leaders a bit out of touch with what I was going through. Now I realize that they simply didn’t have the knowledge to truly understand what I was going through. In some ways I felt a little off the path when I compared myself to others, but eventually I learned my path was different.

I think service is very important. I served in my own way. But I’ve found various ways to help even today, now that I’m not involved with my hobby anymore. Perhaps this forum is a good place to start!

[Islander]

Ravenbsp:

I also welcome you to the forum. My prayers go out to you. I can only imagine the toll it has taken on you this prolonged and persistent battle with depression.

It seems to me, based on the information you provided that you have suffered chronic depression for a long time. I am not sure what you have tried from the psychiatric standpoint. In any event, all appears to have only limited impact in your condition. That can certainly be discouraging.

However, although I cannot directly relate to your condition I hope to be able to share some thoughts that may be of some comfort to you in your struggle. God does not sent you out to fail. I learned that many years ago as a child from my grandmother. Regardless of how difficult the task, how impossible the way appears, how insuperable the odds, it is my testimony that your Heavenly Father will see you fail. Challenges and struggles that we face are designed to help us develop qualities that are required for our eternal progression, not just our earthly life. Our current circumstances are linked to our promises in the pre-existence and our celestial stay. We can not see or understand why Father has placed this great burden on you at this time. But I am certain that He knows you can overcome. He will not have you face a task for which you are not equipped to prevail.

Remember your faith. When all fails, when there is no recourse or alternative, when the road ends and a granite wall loom unsurmountable before you, where darkness blinds your eyes and there is nothing left; lay hold on the strength found in your FAITH. Know that the Lord your God and my God will light up the way, He will remove that mountain from your path, He will show the way and give you rest and shelter. I have found this to be absolutely true on account of my life being in mortal danger more than once. In moments of absolute despair I have felt His shield of protection and the inspiration thru the Spirit to extricate myself from whatever situation I happened to find myself into.

The enemy desires to destroy God's work. You are a prime example of the fine and marvelous work of the Lord. The enemy battles with all of us daily and the battle field is our mind. His weapon of choice are lies, doubt and fear. Cast him out with a daily dosage of faithful prayer. Remind yourself that not long ago you walked on the strength of the Lord and the enemy had no hold on you. Your current wounds and infirmities are just but your current task and challenge to overcome. It is not who you are and certainly speak nothing of your eternal potential. You should know that, although you may not remember, you proved yourself faithful to the Lord once before. Yonder in the heavens when you followed Micheal and his angels as they battled against the serpent. You proved yourself worthy again as you went on your mission, taking your errand from the Father, answering the call of the prophet to take the word of the Lord to His children across the world.

I pray that you will remember this things. I hope that your faith will sustain you as you struggle to hold on to the iron rod. Be strong and know that the Lord your God hears you, He loves you and will extend His comforter to you always.

Edited June 22, 2008 by Islander

[Aphrodite]

I testify to you that our Father in Heaven never will allow us to be tested more than we can bear. I can say with conviction that He will put us right up to the edge so that we can reach for Him when it feels like there is no hope left. It is then that He will show us His true power and that the power that we receive in overcoming the adversary and the world is greater than we can imagine when our hearts are fully turned to Him.

I know you probably mean well by saying this skalenfehl, but I think its a little presumptuous and patronising to say to someone who is obviosuly struggling, that they wont be tested more than they can bear. Its no comfort, in fact, it makes things worse when Ive heard it used before.

Its probably no small comfort to my MIL either who has basically a crap life. She has a terminally ill disabled husband who she cares for at home 24/7-she can hardly leave the house-a daughter who has mental health problems and has had suicide attempts, no money because she cant work-then her sister dies in january. then her mum dies in march. then her husband nearly died 3 weeks ago, and will die, altho we dont know when. When her husband was in the ambulance going to hospital she looked at me and said, I cant do this again, I WONT do this again I CANT DO IT! She was almost hysterical. Can u blame her? Are you saying that this is ok, that God's only taking her to her limits??? Some God in that case. And I dont actually think she can bear it-anything else and she will crack. Im sure the OP feels that he has been tested beyond his limits and he cant cope at times. So Im just making a point that that statement, is a fallacy. We can repeat it like a mantra over and over in our heads and convince ourselves its true, but it isnt.

[skalenfehl]

Aphrodite, thank you for your thoughtful post. I won't go into detail here what I have endured in my life from childhood as this thread isn't about me. I prayed about my reply and felt that while it may not be the most sensitive post, it is true. I love my Father in Heaven so much and those around me. I truly see everyone here as my brother and sister and would gladly give my life for any of you here. I know that God in heaven has placed us here in his world with a set of challenges, trials and tribulations to overcome and if we endure well the tests that are tailor made for each of us, we shall triumph in the Lord and live with Him again. He understands the special circumstances in each of our lives too and has taken it all into consideration. Christ endured the greatest of all trials, including the burdens of each of all of us that have lived, do live and ever will live. I can only hope and pray that my sincere post is received in the spirit that it was shared. Best wishes.

[Misshalfway]

Just one thought and then I will answer the OP.

Are we given more than we can bare? I believe that is the question. Is rape too much to bare? murder? war? Losing a child? Abandonment? Abuse? Torture? Sounds to me like there is much in this world that seems too much to bare! I think the idea is that we will have really hard experience on this earth. And telling ourselves we won't sets up impossible expectations. Some of us will be pushed to our very breaking points....and some of us will even break.

I think that the idea is that we won't be given trials and experience that Christ won't help us bare IF we come to him.

I think this phrase....we won't be given something we can't bare....is a mistatement. We are told that we won't be tempted above our ability to resist. But I don't think there is a promise that we won't be given burdens and even burdens that are too much for an individual to shoulder alone.

We don't have to do it alone, though. That is the promise! The hope! The good news! I think that we are given things that are too much for us for the very purpose of turning our heads and hearts and wills to the very someone....the only someone who can help us.

To the OP:

I can't and won't belabor you with details, but I think I know a little of how you feel. I often think of the lyric in a John Mayer song... "....Too many hours in this midnight!" Life is tough. There are things here that are too painful for too long! I don't know why Father let's it all happen and I don't know why the long prayerful pleas sometimes feel unheard or maybe just unattended to.

There have been many days in the last two years when I have found myself wondering if it wasn't all just a big lie. Where was Christ in my moments of broken-ness? When my strength ran out and my courage failed and the suffering was indeed too exhausting? Where was He when a friend couldn't be found and the loneliness was deafening? I knew He was there....but it seemed for everyone else but me.

I understand despair. I understand dealing with the failing of the mortal body and all the emotions that seem to travel with something like that. I understand also that Satan is really mean and he uses these weaknesses against us.

I think though as I have traveled thru...not around or over...but thru my trials, I have learned a few things. I have learned that God loves me enough to let me struggle. I have learned that sometimes He give me struggles that are too hard and too heavy and too painful so that I will grow to meet them in strength. I look back and what was once weak in me is now stronger. And what was once void is now talent.

I don't know much of friendship. But I know that God has been my finest friend. He has known my weakness and heard my prayers and answered them. Not always in the moment, but over time I see His infinite love for me. It doesn't come the way I want all the time. And certainly doesn't come in the ways in which I think it should all the time. But I look back at my journey and I see the wisdom of all of it.

So often I fought against it! Yelled screamed and swore at my trials and inability to conquer them! And then, I learned to make friends with them. They aren't going away. They are my teachers and they will stay will me as long as I need them. And as much as I have hated them, resented them, cried to God to take them!, I now find myself filled with gratitude and trust. Gratitude for blessings received ..... and trust that Father isn't done sending them.

I don't know much, but I know there is meaning in the suffering. I know there is always always hope and always always love. People in this world fail us. Our bodies and our emotions sometimes fail us too. But I know that Christ knows. He knows the depths of it. The heart wrenching pain and isolation of it. We must come to Him so that we can feel the full measure of His capacity to quench and calm and heal.

Satan would have us believe it is a lie or that God has forsaken us. He breaths those lies in the moments of our despair, the moments when God is perhaps exacting his wisdom in some crucial moment of teaching or strengthening us. Satan's timing is deliberate! But so is Father's. He know YOU! He knows you and loves you as if you were His only child. He has not left you! If you find yourself alone, Maybe that is because he trusts you with your trial. Trust him back.

In the end, it is not what happens to us that makes the difference. It is what we choose to believe about what happens to us! All of life is a trial of our thoughts. Master those, and then you can confidently say "come what may". Acceptance. Gratitude. Faith. Perspective. Patience. Joy. If you find yourself fighting against something that won't change, stop. And then think about it differently. That is where you have your greatest power! God won't give you all the answers. He intends for us to struggle for them. But they are there if we look in the right place. Not necessarily in the place we want them to be.

Be still, and know that I am God.... Your suffering shall be but a moment..... My yoke is easy and my burden is light..... Come unto me, all ye that are heavy laden, and I shall give you rest.

Misshalfway

Edited June 22, 2008 by Misshalfway

[skalenfehl]

Thank you Misshalfway. I should have said tempted rather than tested. I never meant that being raped or murdered is part of our lot in life to endure. I know that the evil doing of others interfering with our probation certainly is not what God intended but the Lord will always be with us as he was with Joseph Smith in D&C 122. Maybe I just talk too much.

[Misshalfway]

Oh Skaf! I am giving you a big hug!

[Tough Grits]

I should have said tempted rather than tested. I never meant that being raped or murdered is part of our lot in life to endure. I know that the evil doing of others interfering with our probation certainly is not what God intended but the Lord will always be with us as he was with Joseph Smith in D&C 122. Maybe I just talk too much.

skalenfehl,

Perspective is everything. When I read your words, I understood them from my perspective and did not see it the same as Misshalfway or Aphrodite. That does not mean that either perspective was right or wrong...just different. I do not think that you need to apologize, for I think you meant your words in love and sincerity. However, it shows your love for others and your humility to apologize for something that you never meant to be taken as an insult. Thank you for your sweet spirit, and for valuing the feelings of others above your own pride. The world definitely needs more of this!

I have often said and thought that we will not be given more than we can bear. I guess I have my own understanding of these words. I was molested as a child. I don't feel that it was something Heavenly Father made happen to me. It was something that happened to me as a matter of the circumstances of life and the very horrible choice of the person who chose to hurt me.

Could I bear it? It depends on what our perspective is. I have since learned to have an eternal perspective. My suffering as a child was but the barest blink of an eye compared to the grand scale of time and all eternity. Did that lessen the crime or my pain....? No. But I found some quotes that I felt were profound. Maybe it will shed some light on what I mean...I also feel that these quotes fit in with this thread.

Flávio A. Cooper, “Book of Mormon Principles: He Knows Our Suffering,” Liahona, Jun 2004, 39

Sometimes our burdens are not removed, but our strength to carry them is increased. One example is the story of Limhi and his people. The Lamanites “put heavy burdens upon their backs,” oppressing them (see Mosiah 21:3). The people of Limhi humbled themselves and prayed that God “would deliver them out of their afflictions” (Mosiah 21:14). Heavenly Father heard “their cries, and began to soften the hearts of the Lamanites that they began to ease their burdens; yet the Lord did not see fit to deliver them out of bondage” (Mosiah 21:15; emphasis added). Just a few chapters later in Mosiah, similar help came to another group when “the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord” (Mosiah 24:15). Many times our brothers and sisters in the gospel offer talents, counsel, resources, time, care, or priesthood blessings to help us bear our burdens, “that they may be light” (Mosiah 18:8).

I believe this to be true. I have prayed for my depression to be taken from me. It has not. Does that mean that my prayer has not been answered? Well, that depends upon my perspective!

Heavenly Father has not removed my depression, but He has prompted me to see a doctor and be placed on medicine. He has surrounded me with family and friends who uplift me and support me. He has placed a wonderful companion, my husband, in my life who loves me and encourages me to keep walking, keep striving. He has provided me with two beautiful children who are a constant joy to me. He has allowed me to have a rewarding job. He has allowed me the opportunity to go back to college and He has blessed me with His Spirit to be able to learn what I need to learn in order to pass my classes.

Did He remove my illness? No.

Did He bless me in MANY other ways so that I may better endure my illness? Yes.

Flávio A. Cooper, “Book of Mormon Principles: He Knows Our Suffering,” Liahona, Jun 2004, 39

Through the Prophet Joseph Smith, the Lord promises that “thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high” (D&C 121:7–8). He continues: “All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? Therefore, hold on thy way, … for God shall be with you forever and ever” (D&C 122:7–9).

As we seek Him, the Lord, in the greatness of His love, teaches and counsels us, showing His care for us even in our afflictions.

Nobody endured more than the Savior. We believe that he endured not only his own trials, which were enough, but he then endured the sufferings, pains, sins, and sorrows of every human that had lived, did live, and would ever live upon the earth.

If our perspective is merely upon ourselves...then, indeed, our burdens are great.

But if I look outside of myself to the burdens of others, or to the Savior who endured his won burdens and then every burden of every human, then my own burdens seem small. Not invalid, just smaller.

Today I watched a young boy (9 years old) give a talk during sacrament meeting.

He is losing his vision. He can no longer see anything from his direct line of sight. He can only see from his peripheral vision. He began to quickly go blind earlier this year. Yet, he had the courage to stand before an entire congregation and attempt to read his talk to us. I am sure that he prayed before he gave his talk. I am sure that his family prayed before he gave his talk.

Did he give his talk with perfectness? No. He stumbled in trying to read the words that he could not see. Did Heavenly Father forsake him? No. Because his father, the Bishop, was sitting behind his son as he struggled to read the words he could not see, and when his son reached a point where he could just not read a particular word on the page, the Bishop stood up and read the word over his son's shoulder.

Aubrey continued with his talk. He never gave up. He never did read with sudden clarity of sight, but his own father remained over his shoulder in case his son should stumble again.

Do you know what I learned today? Heavenly Father stands over our shoulders waiting for us to stumble so that He may help us, guide us, and lift us back up.

Heavenly Father has the power to restore Aubrey's sight, but that may not be the plan for Aubrey. Though his sight may leave him completely within the next few months or year, Heavenly Father will not forsake him. He will be there over his shoulder throughout his whole life to pick him back up when he stumbles. Heavenly Father loves Aubrey so much, that He placed Aubrey in a very loving, very strong home.

Mosiah 24: 14-15, 21

14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

Acts 15: 28

28 For it seemed good to the Holy Ghost, and to us, to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things;

Our perspective is everything. Especially in thinking of and viewing our burdens. Do we see them as necessary? Do we see them as our part in wanting to come to earth and receive bodies? Do we see them as a means to allow our Spirits to grow and to come closer to God? Do we see them as an opportunity to humble ourselves and seek the Lord's help and an opportunity to use the Holy Ghost and follow it's promptings? Do we see them as a means of understanding the burdens and trials of others?

Most important of all...do we see them as a momentary trial in the blink-of-eye mortal life that we have upon this earth?

Philip. 2: 16

16 Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain.

If this above quote can be likened unto burdens, then it means that our burdens will not be in vain, and that we will not have endured our burdens in vain if we endure to the end with a brightness of hope.

Heb. 12: 1

1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Again, liken burdens to the above scripture. We must endure our burdens with patience. It is not easy...by NO means. But all things are possible with God. I know this to be true.

Mosiah 4: 27

27 And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.

That young boy, Aubrey, did not have to give a talk today. Everybody would have understood. But for him, he was not trying to run faster than he was able, because he believed that he was able to give a talk and read from his notes. And he did! Yes, he stumbled, but he had his father there helping him, and he had his eternal Father helping him. I am sure that as he stumbled to read the words that he could not see, that the members of the congregation were saying heartfelt prayers in their minds as they looked on Aubrey with loving eyes.

I can only hope that we are all looking upon each other with loving eyes and with heartfelt prayers in our hearts for each other, so that we may be able to endure whatever burdens we have with faith and with a brightness of hope.

~TG

[Listener]

ravenbsp, thank you so much for sharing so openly.

Depression can be debilitating on so many levels. Dark feelings...tiredness...trouble concentrating...tearfulness...loss of pleasure in activities...loss of physical pleasure...suicidal thoughts...numbness...anxiety...sleep problems...the list goes on and on. Many who are depressed struggle with things which mean the world to them...trying to love their partner and children when all emotions have been erased...being faithful in prayer when thoughts are filled with darkness.

I just want to say that I think you are tremendously courageous for surviving, and for staying with the struggle.

The problem with antidepressants is largely that they are only partially effective. They can be life-saving, but they are better at stopping the tears than they are returning the energy and enjoyment of life.

I am certain that you understand that you are not responsible for what this disease does. But what you demonstrate by your questions is the best testimony of all--that in the dark night of the soul, you still long to remember God in whatever way you can.

Thank you.

[HerbalLady]

Dear Ravenbsp,

I too, went through great physical hardships, pain, depression, and I believe have developed the antidote (with the Lord's help) for both depression and cancer of all kinds.

If, and when, you are willing to consider using herbs as an alternative to drugs, I would be happy to tell you more.

Just a thought: the Lord DID provide the answers to health problems of all kinds - it's just that most of us don't recognize them.