Hello and looking for guidance

[Dying2Be]

Hello all! So I was on the web looking for my new ward (I've moved recently) and I found this page. Okay so here's the real deal and I would love to find some advice. This ward I will be attending in a couple of weeks will be the next one on a long list of wards (I've moved a lot the last six years). It's been awhile since I've been to church, yes I know, "step away and inactive member!" At least that's the response I get when I start a new ward. I usually don't have trouble making friends, but for some reason when it comes to church it's a struggle to fit in. I mean, I feel like I'm in 7th grade and it's my first day of Jr. High and I don't know which tables the "cool" table or not.

Now don't get me wrong I love the Gospel, I feel good when I study the scriptures and pray and when I'm helping people I'm a huge fan of community work, it's a great way to meet people and connect. I don't feel that way at church.

I've been a member my whole life, but see the ward I grew up in kind of... well... died on the vine to say the least, it no longer exist. Without a home base I feel a little lost. I really want this new ward to work out. I want to be strong in the church a full fledge member, but it's just such a lonely place for me that I stop going. I've been through this enough that I know the cycle. I meet people, there real nice at first because I'm new right and that's what they are suppose to be. But a few activities in, a few Sundays and I've having the same conversations with the same people, reintroducing myself over and over.

I would like to believe that I'm not an entirely boring person or completely invisible, but that's how I feel at church. I'm almost 23 and will be finishing my English degree. I've always wanted to me married in the temple and to have a strong LDS family (something I didn't have growing up) but it seems the older I get the farther away it all seems to get.

I'm willing to change whatever I can, but I can't be someone I'm not. And I know this message is a little venty, but this all has been a very painful thing in my life and I've begun to loss faith in the church, not it's teachings mind you I believe in Joseph Smith, in the Holy Ghost, in the Book of Mormon; but in the church its self, leadership on the ward level. It scares me. I don't want to feel this way. When I was in High School church was everything to me. My closest friends were at church, people I still talk to even though we are spread out all over the country.

This has gotten longer than I thought it would, but truthfully I would like some guidance. If you want to tell me I'm a freak and I should quite my belly aching that's fine to. I just feel so crazy sometimes about all this and I've run out of ideas of my own.

[Islander]

Ding2B:

Welcome to the forum. I can imagine how you feel although I have not experienced such myself in my almost 10 of membership. I attended another ward a couple of years ago on account of my friend's brother missionary farewell. The ward was quite smaller than mine. It seemed, at least to me, that it was made up of 10-12 families and nothing else. Although quite a few members stood up and spoke, the exchanged lacked the warmth and energy I was used to in my home ward.

I am not sure how old you are, if you are single and where in the country you live. I would suggest to embrace the Gospel and the work of the Lord and avoid concentrating on the membership. The "social" aspect of the church is important to a certain extent but it should not be the substance of the Sunday worship. Seek to partake of the Sacrament and the ordinances, seek after service opportunities and the Spirit will comfort you, you will find like-minded souls and you will feel better.

I hope you can find the peace and connection you seek. Hang in there.

[kishtakaye]

Hey your not alone! I felt the same way more than once. But the thing you need to remember is that church is like a hospital everyone there is sick spiritually and learning the gospel is like getting medicine to help us get better. You are not there for anyone else but you and your salvation. Keep going and keep reintroducing yourself until you become more comfortable. Sometimes we think that we should be welcomed into the ward instead of welcoming ourselves into the ward. Be friendly and talk to everyone they will open up to you. I have found that alot of the time people are just not sure what to say and are just as uncomfortable as you are. Most of why i felt out of place was my own doing because i felt guilty for my iniquities no one even knows anything unless you tell them. So keep going we here will be happy to support you in anything you choose to do. oh!! and welcome

[kishtakaye]

Dying2B

sorry if i sound rude that is not the angle i was going for. I hope we can become friends

[rameumptom]

You may want to see if your new stake has a singles ward, or a Young Single Adult group, and get highly involved in it. Often, people in wards do not know what to do with their young single adults, and so they can often feel left out.

Join in the fun of a YSA group in your stake. Attend their Family Home Evenings, dances, and other activities. It will be a great opportunity to make friends and begin to learn how to fit in.

[MaidservantX]

I'm so glad you are here on the site, D2B. Maybe this place will help you with the sociality you are looking for.

I am going to offer this advice from personal experience. Take it or leave it if it helps you, but I mean it in the best way possible. It is that sometimes I have simply had to white knuckle some stuff in my life including in relation to the Church and the gospel. I remember a period in my life -- like five or more years -- where every single prayer I said every single day (twice a day) was excruciating. I could not feel any light. I could not feel any love or spirit. It was awful. But I made a decision that I was not going to stop praying. Ever. (White knuckle!). At this time, my prayers are a lot better and they bring peace into my life, and I love going to pray. So that is my example. Don't give up attending Church and trying to participate socially! :) Keep taking this sorrow and trouble to the Lord so that he can support you in it.

[FunkyTown]

Heya, Dying!

Sorry to hear you're having a rough go. :/ It can be hard when it's like you're alone in a room full of crowded people.

Anyway, I know how that feels. I'm not gonna write up a big thing on it, but you aren't alone.