Newly inactive family.

[pbush]

I don't really know exactly what to say. It must be really hard and spiritually draining right now.

I know that this may be difficult but now is the time to really focus on yourself. Work on strengthening your own testimony. Pray even though you don't feel like you know how. Read your scriptures even if they don't seem to be helping. Attend your meetings even if it is hard to focus. If you strengthen yourself and build a stronger foundation for yourself you will feel better and you will better be able to help your family members and be a good example for them.

If you need a spiritual boost you can check out my blog at Becoming LDS

There are also some links on the side that can lead you to other's testimonies and conversion stories which may be uplifting, comfoting, and supportive.

I hope this helps even a little. If you ever want to you can email me at [email protected].

Good luck with all.

[Guest Godless]

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. Here's the best advice I can give as someone who has been on the other side of the table.

First and foremost, you and your mother need to accept the fact that your brother and father no longer have any interest in the church and show respect for that decision, regardless of how painful that may be. They clearly want to distance themselves from the Church, so go ahead and allow them to do that so that they don't end up distancing themselves from you as well. I'm not saying that you should give up hope that they'll return. Just let them take their own paths and try to find a way to bring your family together without bringing the Church into the equation.

At the same time, make it clear to them that you and your mother still intend on being faithful members of the Church. They need to respect that, just as you need to respect their loss of interest. That sort of mutual respect is crucial if your family wants to maintain any sort of healthy relationship.

Like I said, it'll be hard for a while. My parents were heartbroken when they found out that I no longer had any interest in the Church. Things were rough for a while, but they gave me my space and now things are much better. I take no issue with the fact that they're still very faithful LDS members, and they do their best not to nag me about going to church. I know its hard for them, and I wish it wasn't, but it would have been much more painful for all of us if they had continued to push the issue, or if I had said hateful things about their religion.

Bottom line, this is a two-sided effort. There are probably going to be some attitude adjustments needed from both sides. Again, there's no reason to lose hope. By all means, pray for them and hope that they return. But at this point I'd say that your cohesion as a temporal family is more important than your eternal cohesion. After all, what chance do you have of spending eternity together if you are constantly pushing each other away? Show them love and respect, and hopefully they'll do the same.

[Islander]

In general, when people walk away from the Church the reasons they set forth as the cause are rather a very human need to justify their decision. For the most part, those (reasons) are but a symptom of deep rooted issues that the person is dealing with. Whether the person has insight into this issues (doubtful) or not, it is obvious that walking away from God is not the answer. The emotional turmoil that some experiment, avoiding church association, involvement, friends and the like are the coping mechanisms of choice.

Regardless of the "reasons" or issues that prescipitated our inactivity in the church, the simple truth is that WE are the ones that fail. WE are the ones that are not able to hold on to the iron rod, exercise faith, avail ourselves of the Atonement and the power of the Priesthood to overcome. We sink in the marinade of our own pain and resentment for (whatever) the hurt we are experiencing and do not actively do what needs to be done to solve the issues at hand.

So, some succumb to depression, some to anger and resentment, some to shame and avoidance. As their situation remains unchanged the ability to entice and feel the Spirit decreases, and in the absence of light darkness prevail and we are left to our own devices. What's left is a sad tale of rationalizations and pain. Some leave to never come back and keep very tight under wraps the pain and sadness of the awareness of their own weakness. Other leave, learn and lift themselves up to embrace the God they love once more with renewed strength. Others leave the church but can not live it alone, which I find fascinating and totally counter intuitive.

Nagging accomplishes nothing but exacerbate an already tense and difficult relationship. Repentance is a long, treacherous and slippery ladder, grandma just to say. People will fight, bite and scratch if you try to pull them out of their hole. In time they will convince themselves that climbing that ladder is the only way out.

I am aware that some of the above will ruffle some feathers. It is not meant to do so but to invite reflection. I had much time to ponder and read on these issues on account of some friends experiencing similar situations. I hope it helps.

[lilered]

I am convinced that when we stray from the path, we do so by steps. Thus we walk away from the light towards the dark. Satan leads us away slowly step by step further and further from the Basic Teachings of the church. Eventually taking us to a point of hopelessness and guilt stricken.

So, in order to return towards the light and leave the darkness behind we have to get back on the straight path which leads us back to God. We need to stop sinning and fully repent of our sins. We have to return to daily prayers, daily studying of the scritures, substitue good things in our life for the bad things, return and attend our meetings especially Sacrement, where we can regularly renew our covenants, etc. Once we return fully to the basic teachings of the church, and continue to do this, we will obtain his spirit to be our constant companion.