After 19 months, I transgressed.

[christmasvalleyfarms]

Just wanted to add my hurrahs for you - I am so impressed with your courage, your honesty, and your willingness to follow the Lord when it is HARD and when there is SO much pressure out there today for those dealing with same sex attraction to "rechannel the river" and redefine religion, society, standards, etc., so they can just go with the flow. We all struggle with our weaknesses; we all fall from time to time. The tragedy is not our weakness or even our stumbling but when we allow the adversary to discourage us into thinking it, or we, just isn't/aren't worth it and we should just give up.

I think you are awesome. I think you will be a great strength to those others out there trying to deal with this issue. Bytor is right, there are many who have to live in situations where sexual fulfillment is not an option, whether due to singleness, illness, handicap, whatever. You are not alone. Life is just a matter of striving to gain the upper hand, through the Savior's atonement ,as you realize, over that "natural man" and not letting him run/ruin our lives and our eternal progression.

God bless!

[blusun7]

i think it is awesome that you can say things and confess those things.

I had a problem with sinning.

It has been a struggle let me tell you.

Just remember that Satan will do anything to get you away from god. I think maybe you were a special child to god.Satan knows this and uses his most powerful tool.But god knows that if you keep persisting to call on god and obey him god will finally just deliver you from those shackles to which you are bound.

It just takes more work then we are use to and faith. God gives trials but remember to pray. Prayer is such a fascinating ordinance with true intent. Why don you pray in a peaceful place and just let it all out as if you were talking to a parent..i guarantee something will happen and you feel so much better.

[RobertP]

I think that Candeo: A powerful and anonymous online training program to help individuals understand and overcome pornography addiction could be helpful for that sort of thing. They teach you how to cut the addiction rather than pull on it. Chains don't break, but they can be cut. If it's hard to quit, you're doing it wrong, on their model. Either way, keep on keeping on.

[Michael_Newman]

All I can do is bottle up my "feelings , urges" in order to remain worthy. I DO KNOW THROUGH THE ATONEMENT I'M FORGIVEN PROVIDED I TRULY REPENT.

Hello, and thank you for your honesty.

Sow an idea, Reap a habit

Sow a habit, Reap a discipline

Sow a discipline, reap a character

Sow a character, reap a destination

Sow a destination, reap another idea.

(We sometimes take detour from the list above, but the path is still available to us now)

Although the Atonement is something to rely on from time to time, some members have been counseled to ask in prayer that our Saviour's Atonement be applied to the things we have trouble in overcoming, including all measures of inabilities to make ourselves think and act in conformity. The atonement can step in and remove feelings of unforgiveness of others and ourselves. The atonement can permanently heal when we cannot obtain the means of self-healing. By putting the atonement in the hands of the Saviour, we can find the worthy peace we all seek.

In my early years before joining the church, I studied two books that had a profound affect on my life:

• Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill
• The Law of Success, by Napoleon Hill

Although they are not LDS books, the author was commissioned by Andrew Carnegie (the richest man in America at that time in the early 1900's) to personally interview the most successful businessmen in the country, from a list of 10,000. The project took over ten years and evolved into the two books above. (The Law of Success is the unabridged version). What Hill found was that nearly all of the 10,000 successful businessmen shared a common testimony of believing in God.

One of the chapters discusses sexual transmutation, where the natural urges are transformed into creativity and spiritual growth. Apparently, many successful people have taken the natural urges of sex and transmuted the urges (redirected them) into another path toward creativity, something worthy they wished to achieve.

I believe the Saviour used a similar approach, in part, when he went through the 40 days of fasting and the several unrecorded years of his early manhood. The Saviour also uttered specific words when tempted, which expelled the tempter.

Although we do not profess to have the same powers the Saviour has, we do, by His example, have the ability to utter words when tempted. I can testify to you that a short prayer sentence at the time of any unworthy urge or thought, invoking the name of Jesus Christ, does work - especially if the Holy Ghost is with you. And if the temptation persists, the repeated prayer within a few seconds will again eliminate the unworthy urge or thought. We just have to believe it, say it, and never give up on asking or invoking. It is when we do not invoke at the moment of temptation or unworthy thought that we may fall victim.

Back on the books I mentioned: I personally do not believe we have to keep sexual urges inside with no where to go. I know the urges can be transformed to a creative and spiritual nature, redirected chemically and within the laws of nature. The will power is the desire to convert these urges. But once the biological process begins toward the conversion, then less will power is needed. Your creativity will grow - and the result to others will be your spiritual presence (otherwise known as enthusiasm - which in Latin, means to be with God). Your increased spirit will begin to fortify.

It is not easy to start, but once you are successful and gain the early results of rechanneling the urges to a more worthy goal, you will become addicted to a worthy process. Look at the Sowing process steps I listed above, starting with an idea. Use it prayerfully in the name of Jesus Christ.

And last, delete unworthy files, links, and other items from your computer. Change your home page (maybe to this site or the main LDS.ORG site) Invest in a software that unmistakably can filter out anything remotely tempting for you. The technologies today are a lot better at keeping the trash away from your view. Our church buildings were very slow in getting computers and the internet access. You may also wish to move your computer to an area in your home where it can be considered the most worthy spot.

If you need more ideas, just ask.

My very best,

Michael

http://www.lds.net/forums/picture.php?albumid=9&pictureid=77

[Guest Alana]

Hang in there! I know with myself, I can either turn towards the Lord when I sin or away. The initial step of turning towards the Lord can be hard, humbling ones self, confronting sin in the face etc, but once you do, ahhhh, so much better! Keep turning towards the Lord, day by day, second by second.

[tanuvasamama]

Just checking in...how ya doin?

[Guest JHM-in-Bountiful]

Some of you have been wondering how I'm coping with my situation. To tell the truth, not very well. I want to mention from 1-26-09 to 2-26-09, I've had 4 relatives pass away. 2 of them were a 2nd and 3rd cousins, whom i did not know very well. The other 2 were my father and my grandmother. That has stressed me out. My father got to re-baptize me last July. I'm thankful that he could do that. I don't want to put the blame of my personal actions on their deaths. It still has been my choice to choose the right or go back to my old ways. I had a blessing done wich did not seem to help. I'm in thearpy and am on medications for my depression and social anxiety. I have been for several years now. Those have helped me cope with my trials. This additional way to cope just made me feel worse. I feel much worse now than prior to being a member. I have to take a firm grip on the situation imediately. This is putting my own endowments done at the temple in jeopardy. That is scheduled for July.I don't understand why I could have gone 19 months with little temptation. Now it's in full swing. I will say most of the time, I try to stay away from what is causing me to do these actions. I've also found my self letting temptation win. I do feel confident that i'll be able to manage these feelings soon. However the bump in the road has turned into a hill. I want to thank you all for your advice and support. I'll keep you updated on my progress. :-)

[tanuvasamama]

so sorry to hear of all your losses. You sure seem to have a lot on your plate right now. It's hard, I'm sure, with so much going on to not let your guard slip. With your temple date approaching, it's crunch time for Satan and he's going to be working that much harder to keep you out. I wish I had something amazing a profound to say to give you strength to get through all this, but I don't. But I can offer support and understanding. Everyone is here for you and cheering for you.

[Guest queries]

JHM:

I know that only Jesus can strengthen me sufficient to withstand temptation.

But in order to have that strengthening power I must choose to remain close to Him.

It is a lifetime process, as you said.

Our surrender must deepen, bit by bit.

I think you've hit it exactly, tomk.