Problems at ward/EQ situation

[Palerider]

On the plus side people are usually home at about 8pm

and small children are in bed....maybe...:)

[ReubenDunn]

I've read and re-read this thread and would like to add my thoughts here.

I need some advice on a situation I'm going through right now in my ward. I am currently the EQ secretary and teach once per month in the EQ meetings, as well as play piano for the priesthood opening exercises. We recently had a change in the EQ presidency and I wasn't even informed about it, I found out when the rest of the congregation did.

There's nothing out of the ordinary here. The president and his counselors are stake callings, and, should the president be released, only the counselors are informed of this and are released. As you know, secretaries are not part of the presidency in that regard. In fact, many consider secretaries, either quorum/group/ or exec. secretaries, to be the foundation of the whole thing. They insure continuity.

Surprisingly, the guy they put in the place of the old EQ president is a lifelong member of the church that has only been in our ward for a couple months.

Have you heard of J. Reuben Clarke Jr.? In the early 1930s President Heber J Grant called him to serve as Second Counselor in the First Presidency of the Church. The only thing was, Brother Clarke wasn't an Apostle, or a member of the First Council of the Seventy, which were the only two presiding counsels in the Church. Brother Clarke was a career diplomat. He ended serving under Presidents Grant, Smith, McKay, bi-passing those brethren of the Twelve and the Seventy who were better known, and who, on paper at least, had better qualifications.

The point here my friend is that President Grant, as well as your Stake President, according to the doctrines of the Church, prayed for and received Revelation to call these two men to their callings.

I'd also mention the comments of President Clarke, who, after being passed over as First Counselor in the First Presidency, said that "In the service of the Lord, it is not where you serve but how. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, one takes the place to which one is duly called, which place one neither seeks nor declines."

Perhaps you might want to take this to heart.

He's very arrogant and is very hard to work with. He calls my house at 9 or 10 at night and reads me long lists of names of HT routes, stuff that I couldn't possibly have any use for, since I get it all from the computer anyway. He changed the computer pass codes and won't give me the new ones on the phone, but wants to meet with me in person. He wants to have meetings at some of the weirdest times, like 8 am Sunday when church doesn't start until 12:30, and late on week nights, in addition to holding weekly president visits on week nights.

Have you considered that perhaps he’s catching the vision of his calling? There’s nothing wrong with you suggesting that he call earlier than he is. Have you considered that he might not be able to call earlier due to his work commitments? Have you considered giving him your email address so he can give you these assignments>

You might want to suggest to him that the brethren have counseled against holding additional meetings on a Sunday?

As far as computer passwords are concerned, changing the passwords makes sense, given the change-over in leadership. It’s also good security for him not to give you that pass word over the phone.

I honestly feel that the bishop doesn't like me or my grandmother, that this new EQ pres is one of his friends, and that this ward is nothing but grown men in suits acting like children playing politics over volunteer service positions. I also feel I'm discriminated against in this church for being single, since singles never hold office in the church. The fact that I was not even considered as a counselor despite all the work I've done for this ward and the church in general was very telling IMHO.

The bishop has nothing to do with the selection or with the calling of an Elders’ Quorum President.

May I make an additional observation here?

“Singles never hold office in the Church’? Really? Tell that to Sister Dew, former General President of the Relief Society, or to Elder Mark E. Peterson, former member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, who never remarried after the death of his wife, despite being counseled to do so by the President of the Church.

How about that 23 year old man I knew personally who, while being a member of the Singles Ward, was called to serve in the Palos Verdes Stake High Council.

Your feelings of discrimination, and feelings of being passed over, “despite all the work” that you’ve done for the ward, are also very telling, they show a spiritual immaturity that can, and in all likelihood, be matured at some point.

Ask yourself this question. Would YOU want such a man as yourself presiding over your quorum? Those who are called to preside are also called to teach, to nurture, and to lead others to higher spiritual ground. Can you honestly say that, given your stated attitude, you are ready for such a calling? Are you really the man to lead your quorum; to help those brethren who are having some of the most profound spiritual and temporal struggles in their lives?

I definitely want to be released from the secretary calling. Frankly, I feel the masonic lodge can make better use of my time, since they do lots of community service and my research skills can be used for good in the research bodies, and I think that is a much more worthwhile useage of my time at this point. I just don't know how to go about it.

If you feel that your skills could be better used with the Masons, Elks, Goodwill, Salvation Army,YMCA, or the Red Cross, then perhaps you should go ahead. After all they’re good organisations, who are always looking out for dedicated volunteers.

However, your service in the Church is not “volunteer”, nor is it a “service job”. You’ve been called by revelation, prayed over, and, had hands laid on your head by those who hold the Keys of the Holy Priesthood, to serve. You’ve been called by the Lord Jesus Christ. You didn’t volunteer for this. You were called.

If you are not able to, or are willing to, understand this basic tenet of the Church, then perhaps you aren’t ready to preside over a quorum of men who need to be led by one who has that testimony.

So, is there any advice? I would like to do this without losing my TR or getting repromanded, so any advice on the proper way to get released from the calling and letting them know how I feel would be appreciated.

You’re young, both physically, and spiritually. Advice? How about considering this:

Find some time to get by yourself, get down on your knees and ask for forgiveness for these unworthy feelings. “Not My Will, But THY Will Be Done” are eight of the hardest words to both say and mean.

You need to re-examine your testimony. Is it based on the type of calling you get, or is it based on something of greater importance? Is it a status thing that you desire, or are your desires more Christ oriented? Based on what you’ve read, I suspect that you’re a bit miffed at missing out on the title, rather than have the gratitude to serve in your present capacity.

By the way, if it’s status that you’re after, consider this.

There are over 13 million men, women, and children in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Out of those 13 million people, you are part of a select group of over two hundred and fifty thousand men who have been given similar callings in the Church. Not too bad I would say.

One thing I don't understand is that he's wanting me to set up in-house visits with members in the quorum between 8 and 9 pm on week nights, and he wants me and the two counselors to go with him. I don't understand the purpose of that and I know the last EQ pres never did this. It just seems strange and I can't help but think that some of the other EQ members may find it intrusive. I don't know, has anyone every heard of anything like this?

The counsel from the First Presidency is that quorum priesthood leaders meet with their quorum members, both active and inactive. How else is he going to know these families that he has been given responsibility for?

Edited April 10, 2009 by ReubenDunn

[bjw]

You’re young, both physically, and spiritually. Advice? How about considering this:

Find some time to get by yourself, get down on your knees and ask for forgiveness for these unworthy feelings. “Not My Will, But THY Will Be Done” are eight of the hardest words to both say and mean.

You need to re-examine your testimony. Is it based on the type of calling you get, or is it based on something of greater importance? Is it a status thing that you desire, or are your desires more Christ oriented? Based on what you’ve read, I suspect that you’re a bit miffed at missing out on the title, rather than have the gratitude to serve in your present capacity.

By the way, if it’s status that you’re after, consider this.

There are over 13 million men, women, and children in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Out of those 13 million people, you are part of a select group of over twenty five thousand men who have been given similar callings in the Church. Not too bad I would say.

The counsel from the First Presidency is that quorum priesthood leaders meet with their quorum members, both active and inactive. How else is he going to know these families that he has been given responsibility for?

It's not status I'm after, which is why I would much rather go to the church without any kind of position and volunteer my time elsewhere instead of politicking for positions against a close-knit group of friends that are abusive.

This has nothing to do with my testimony, since my testimony is in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, and not in some childish men that want to dress up in suits and play politics over voluntary positions. I'm pefectly happy playing piano for priesthood exercises and teaching once per month, I don't need any kind of title or job to go with it. The Lord knows my heart, and all of these Stake Presidents and other fancy titles, anybody that was "first" in this life will be "last" in the next, and vice versa. This was taught by Jesus Christ Himself.

[wonderingme]

At my home at eight pm, I am trying desperately to help finish homework, give baths, read children books, keep the baby from eating said books, wishing the dishes would somehow wash themselves, and dreaming of Mary Poppins for the rest of the house!

And children have a sixth sense. There would be a vibe in the air that something was going to happen and they would NOT go to sleep!

[Dravin]

There are people with whom meeting at 8 pm isn't an inconvenience, as a missionary we were always encouraged to find members to visit at that time as teach appointments were less common then than an 7pm. That said it certainly wasn't the majority, it was usually only a handful of people in each ward who were either new parents or older parents whose kids were in the tweens and up. Of course its not like my companion would be needed at home to help his wife wrestle the kids in bed so that side was never something that had to get worked out like you'd have to in an EQ Presidency visiting. If all the planets align though, go for it. :)

So nothing wrong with trying, if you start insisting that when you get into trouble.

[Wingnut]

Tell that to Sister Dew, former General President of the Relief Society,

She was a counselor. Just a technicality. :)

[bjw]

Thanks to everyone that has replied. Just to give you guys a little update...

I met with the EQ President in private at the church and told him how I felt and that I thought he was being unreasonable. I also told him I wanted out of the calling. He apologized to me and said that he was sorry for giving me the "us vs them" impression and that it was his first time in this calling and he's still learning it himself. So, I decided to stay with my calling and changed my mind about quitting. I told him that I understood his position a little better (we talked about a half-hour) and I told him that maybe we could learn to work together better. He agreed, and decided to have the weekly meetings Sunday afternoon instead of the more unreasonable times he wanted previously.

I think the advice I got from everyone on here helped, because I feel like I know him a lot better after actually having a meeting with him and expressing my feelings. I think that he will be much easier to work with now. It should be interesting to see.

Edited April 15, 2009 by bjw
spelling

[Palerider]

Thanks to everyone that has replied. Just to give you guys a little update...

I meant with the EQ President in private at the church and told him how I felt and that I thought he was being unreasonable. I also told him I wanted out of the calling. He apologized to me and said that he was sorry for giving me the "us vs them" impression and that it was his first time in this calling and he's still learning it himself. So, I decided to stay with my calling and changed my mind about quitting. I told him that I understood his position a little better (we talked about a half-hour) and I told him that maybe we could learn to work together better. He agreed, and decided to have the weekly meetings Sunday afternoon instead of the more unreasonable times he wanted previously.

I think the advice I got from everyone on here helped, because I feel like I know him a lot better after actually having a meeting with him and expressing my feelings. I think that he will be much easier to work with now. It should be interesting to see.

Good luck to you in your calling......thanks for sharing that with us.