Can we get married the "normal" way before being married in the temple?

[Just_A_Guy]

HEthePrimate, I'm not particularly concerned what outsiders think of us. Let's look at it this way:

If my parents are so shallow that they'd completely throw our relationship away because they're in a snit that they couldn't be with me for a couple of hours on one day of my life (disregarding the other several-thousand-odd days of my life where their presence is more than welcome)--really, who's being more "cultish", manipulative, controlling, irrational, and generally divisive?

Why are observant Mormons the ones who should have to make all the compromises?

Soul_Searcher: Quite bluntly, I think that's the sacrifice the Lord wants us to be making at this point in time, for a variety of social and spiritual reasons. I'm not inclined to go into detail at this point (I need to get back to drafting a stipulation), and--at the risk of sounding like a patronizing, condescending, SOB--I think they'd make more of an impression on you if you played devil's advocate for a few minutes and considered the potential reasons on your own.

[HEthePrimate]

HEthePrimate, I'm not particularly concerned what outsiders think of us. Let's look at it this way:

If my parents are so shallow that they'd completely throw our relationship away because they're in a snit that they couldn't be with me for a couple of hours on one day of my life (disregarding the other several-thousand-odd days of my life where their presence is more than welcome)--really, who's being more "cultish", manipulative, controlling, irrational, and generally divisive?

It's not just any couple of hours on any day in your life they're being asked to miss out on, it's your WEDDING, for crying out loud! And I'm not even insisting that they be allowed in the temple to see the sealing ceremony. All I'm saying is I see no reason not to have a civil or religious ceremony outside the temple that everyone can attend, and then the couple goes into the temple for their sealing. There is nothing wrong with that. There is no contradiction. There is no need to compromise our principles, our morals, our way of life, or anything. It's simply making accommodations for the family who are, after all, the most important people in our life. Is that really so hard to understand? I have a hard time believing that the Lord would purposely cause conflict among family members for no apparent reason.

If you have good reasons why a couple should not have ceremonies outside the temple, to accommodate their families, and in the temple, to make it eternal, please do share them with us.

HEP

[Hemidakota]

However, it goes against the grain of the sacredness of a sealing marriage. Is it done for the right reasons? Remember, my wife and I are both converts and sealed in the temple and not elect for civil type ceremony after the fact.

[Just_A_Guy]

It's not just any couple of hours on any day in your life they're being asked to miss out on, it's your WEDDING, for crying out loud!

. . . And?

(Kinda makes you question all the brouhaha we build up around weddings, doesn't it?)

I have a hard time believing that the Lord would purposely cause conflict among family members for no apparent reason.

How much conflict has been introduced into the personal lives of Church members by, say, the Church's strict injunction against wine/coffee/tea--which, from a medical point of view, aren't really all that harmful?

The Lord puts wedges between His people and their surrounding culture at practically every turn, and has done so for millennia.

Edited May 18, 2009 by Just_A_Guy