A great retirement plan

[Churchmouse]

At the Bristol Zoo in England there is enough parking spots for 150 cars and 8 busses. The parking lot attendant collects (US)$1.40 per car and $7 per bus. He had worked there for 25 years. One morning he didn't show up so the Zoo management called the City Council to hire a new attendant.

"No" said the council. "The parking is your responsibility"

"Err No, the parking attendant was hired by you' said the Zoo.

"No" we didn't hire him" answered the Council.

Somewhere in a villa in Spain is a bloke that collected over $3 million dollars over the years. AND NOBODY KNOWS HIS NAME.

[Jenamarie]

Fake.

snopes.com: Bristol Zoo Carpark Attendant

[Mahone]

Fake.

snopes.com: Bristol Zoo Carpark Attendant

The Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet Phenomena announced today that many Internet users are becoming infected by a new virus that causes them to believe without question every groundless story, legend, and dire warning that shows up in their inbox or on their browser. The Gullibility Virus, as it is called, apparently makes people believe and forward copies of silly hoaxes relating to cookie recipes, email viruses, taxes on modems, and get-rich-quick schemes.

"These are not just readers of tabloids or people who buy lottery tickets based on fortune cookie numbers," a spokesman said. "Most are otherwise normal people, who would laugh at the same stories if told to them by a stranger on a street corner." However, once these same people become infected with the Gullibility Virus, they believe anything they read on the Internet.

"My immunity to tall tales and bizarre claims is all gone," reported one weeping victim. "I believe every warning message and sick child story my friends forward to me, even though most of the messages are anonymous."

Another victim, now in remission, added, "When I first heard about Good Times, I just accepted it without question. After all, there were dozens of other recipients on the mail header, so I thought the virus must be true." It was a long time, the victim said, before she could stand up at a Hoaxees Anonymous meeting and state, "My name is Jane, and I've been hoaxed." Now, however, she is spreading the word. "Challenge and check whatever you read," she says.

Internet users are urged to examine themselves for symptoms of the virus, which include the following:

* The willingness to believe improbable stories without thinking.

* The urge to forward multiple copies of such stories to others.

* A lack of desire to take three minutes to check to see if a story is true.

T. C. is an example of someone recently infected. He told one reporter, "I read on the Net that the major ingredient in almost all shampoos makes your hair fall out, so I've stopped using shampoo." When told about the Gullibility Virus, T. C. said he would stop reading email, so that he would not become infected.

Anyone with symptoms like these is urged to seek help immediately. Experts recommend that at the first feelings of gullibility, Internet users rush to their favorite search engine and look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence. Most hoaxes, legends, and tall tales have been widely discussed and exposed by the Internet community.

Courses in critical thinking are also widely available, and there is online help from many sources, including

* Department of Energy Computer Incident Advisory Capability

* Symantec Anti Virus Research Center

* McAfee Associates Virus Hoax List

* Dr. Solomons Hoax Page

* The Urban Legends Web Site

* Urban Legends Reference Pages

* Datafellows Hoax Warnings

Those people who are still symptom free can help inoculate themselves against the Gullibility Virus by reading some good material on evaluating sources, such as

* Evaluating Internet Research Sources

* Evaluation of Information Sources

* Bibliography on Evaluating Internet Resources

Lastly, as a public service, Internet users can help stamp out the Gullibility Virus by sending copies of this message to anyone who forwards them a hoax.

This message is so important, we're sending it anonymously! Forward it to all your friends right away! Don't think about it! This is not a chain letter! This story is true! Don't check it out! This story is so timely, there is no date on it! This story is so important, we're using lots of exclamation points! Lots!! For every message you forward to some unsuspecting person, the Home for the Hopelessly Gullible will donate ten cents to itself. (If you wonder how the Home will know you are forwarding these messages all over creation, you're obviously thinking too much.)

ACT NOW! DON'T DELAY! LIMITED TIME ONLY! NOT SOLD IN ANY STORE!

;)

[pam]

That's hilarious Mahone.

[pam]

Fake.

snopes.com: Bristol Zoo Carpark Attendant

But it's a funny story anyway...Hmmm there is a zoo in Salt Lake City... *begins calculating*

[Churchmouse]

I guess if it sounds to good to be true, it probably is.

Along this same line.

When I was very young we went to a Cincinnati Reds baseball game. At that time the Reds stadium was in a bad part of town. The lot was full so we parked in a field across the street. This little black kid charged us a dollar to park there. Of course, we knew he wasn't working for the team nor did he own the lot. However, if you didn't pay him it would be hard driving home without tires.:)

[Jenamarie]

I guess if it sounds to good to be true, it probably is.

Along this same line.

When I was very young we went to a Cincinnati Reds baseball game. At that time the Reds stadium was in a bad part of town. The lot was full so we parked in a field across the street. This little black kid charged us a dollar to park there. Of course, we knew he wasn't working for the team nor did he own the lot. However, if you didn't pay him it would be hard driving home without tires.:)

Any reason in particular why you felt the need to mention the kid's race, along with your assumption that he intended to take your tires?

[ztodd]

Generally speaking, the demographics were usually such that the bad parts of towns were inhabited mostly by black folks. If the kid wasn't black, then you could deduce that he/she probably was from the other side of town. So I can see the significance in mentioning it.

[Churchmouse]

Any reason in particular why you felt the need to mention the kid's race, along with your assumption that he intended to take your tires?[/QUOT

...and maybe I should delete the word "little" so as not to offend midgets. Oops, I mean "little people". Also need to eliminate the word "kid". No need to upset the goat farmers. Does it pass now .

I'm part American Indian. No, Not Native American. Indian. If someone wants to call me "redskin" of "injun" it doesn't bother me in the least.

Edited July 3, 2009 by Churchmouse

[Jenamarie]

Generally speaking, the demographics were usually such that the bad parts of towns were inhabited mostly by black folks. If the kid wasn't black, then you could deduce that he/she probably was from the other side of town. So I can see the significance in mentioning it.

I don't.

I have black friends who run into this assumption a lot (black person = someone who can't be trusted) no matter what side of town they're on.

The post gives the impression that black kid = someone intent on robbing me. I don't care what side of town you're in, just because someone's black and happens to be on the "wrong side" of town, doesn't mean they're out to rob you blind, any more than a white guy with a shaved head is going to burn a cross on your lawn.

Yes the kid was probably being dishonest, but he could just as easily have been a white kid, or a hispanic kid, or an asian kid, etc. Mentioning his race is unnecessary, and comes across as biggoted.

[Churchmouse]

I don't.

I have black friends who run into this assumption a lot (black person = someone who can't be trusted) no matter what side of town they're on.

The post gives the impression that black kid = someone intent on robbing me. I don't care what side of town you're in, just because someone's black and happens to be on the "wrong side" of town, doesn't mean they're out to rob you blind, any more than a white guy with a shaved head is going to burn a cross on your lawn.

Yes the kid was probably being dishonest, but he could just as easily have been a white kid, or a hispanic kid, or an asian kid, etc. Mentioning his race is unnecessary, and comes across as biggoted.

One thing worse than a bigot is someone that labels someone they have never met.

[Jenamarie]

Did I label you a bigot? Try reading my post again.

[john doe]

Let's tone it down. No more bickering, guys.