Question From A Investigater.?

[Guest Runnerguy]

I have a question for you guys...I have been attending LDS church for about a month...I really enjoy LDS as does my young son..However here is the question..The missionary is all over me right after service asking did I like the service and stuff..asking when can they come over..I dont like feeling pressured and have told them that now twice..I will make my decsion when the Lord moves me...not when they want me to make a descion to be baptized....the one missionary I liked alot got transferred.....this week they want to bring a church member over...I have heard him and he seems much like the missionaries...Can anyone give me some tips on how best to handle this..??..are they under pressure to have become baptized..??......Thanks

[Faerie]

my husband took 8 months to join the church...he, like you, didn't like being pressured. you just have to be firm and ask them politely to back off...let them know you are still highly interested, but that you are needing time to search your soul, the scriptures and your prayers for answers and that you will let them know when you are ready for each next step...

are there any members you are comfortable with? that you feel you could confide in? you may let them know, or even the bishop know, that this is making you edgy and you would hate for their eagerness (which that's all it is, missionaries get so excited when someone shows interest, sometimes they can't help themselves) to push you away...

best of luck!

[Guest Taoist_Saint]

I can tell you from my experience that after I was baptized, the pressure increased. That is, it does not stop at baptism, especially for a male. After baptism, you will be encouraged to accept a calling...then to get the Aaronic Priesthood, then the Melchezidek Priesthood, then go through the Temple, then Home Teach, etc...it doesn't really end.

I don't want to influence your decision one way or the other, because I think everyone has a right to make their own choice.

The way I see it, for those who really enjoy church, and the LDS lifestyle, this pressure is a good thing. It reminds you that your ward is thinking of you and that they care.

But if you want to be left alone, the LDS Church might not be the best church for you.

If anyone disagrees, feel free to add a comment...

[Guest lt]

I think some missionaries are overly excited to just share what brings them the most joy in life....Sit down and have a heart to heart, tell them you need sometime to pray about things and you will call them when they are ready for the next discussion, and when you are ready for baptism you will let them know, but there constant pushing is discouraging you. Hoesty goes along way.....They have to understand this is the biggest choice you will ever make, although "personally" I think its an awesome one, you need to find that out with a surety yourself. Prayer helped me allot with my choice to join, I listen to the spirit and noticed the more I read the more intune I was to the spirit and the better I was guided. I hope things get easier for you, if you ever have questions about the church, no matter what they are..."don't be afraid to ask" we will be happy to talk to you about them. Good luck !

[Guest Runnerguy]

Taoist, I appreciate your frankness..I was curious about that...kind of makes sense..what do you mean accept a calling..can you give me a example..?..I thought that didnt start until you received your priesthood

[Traveler]

Originally posted by Runnerguy@Jul 10 2005, 04:20 PM

I have a question for you guys...I have been attending LDS church for about a month...I really enjoy LDS as does my young son..However here is the question..The missionary is all over me right after service asking did I like the service and stuff..asking when can they come over..I dont like feeling pressured and have told them that now twice..I will make my decsion when the Lord moves me...not when they want me to make a descion to be baptized....the one missionary I liked alot got transferred.....this week they want to bring a church member over...I have heard him and he seems much like the missionaries...Can anyone give me some tips on how best to handle this..??..are they under pressure to have become baptized..??......Thanks

As someone that served as a missionary I can tell you a couple of things. First off missionaries are mostly 19 - 21 years of age and by no means the brightest or wisest LDS members. I think you are confusing youthful enthusiasm with pressure. Now if the missionaries were older with degrees in psychology – then I think you have real concerns about being manipulated.

Because of their youth some missionaries focus on baptisms as a measure of success but most will get over it during their mission. If they error it is because they are anxious to share their most precious feelings and beliefs with you.

I travel a lot in my work and like to look up the missionaries and take them to dinner. I would like to share one experience I had before 9/11. I was headed home and ran into some missionaries in Atlanta that were coming home from Siberia (Russia). They have missed pizza so I bought them some at the air port – there were about 12 of them. One has some rather worn out cloths. He kind of caught my attention. They talked of service in hospitals that did not have hot water. They had been in a very poor part of the world.

Since we were all on the flight to SLC, I watched them as they got off the plain and met their families. The all had quite a group meeting them – except the one with the over worn suit, no one seemed to be there for him. I followed him for a way thinking I would offer him a ride where ever he needed to go. As he walked away from the crowd he met his mother that was there by herself. They embraced with their tears. She also was in over worn cloths. I then understood the great sacrifice this young boy and his mother had made to serve a mission.

If I were to give any advice about missionaries – I would say get to know these guys. Invite them and their influence into your home. Spend some time with them and feed them. You will not impress them with money as much as you will with any goodness or kindness in your home. Do not worry about them talking you into something you are not ready for – they are really just kids with hearts. When they ask about baptism let them know that you will cross that bridge if and when you are assured the time is right. Someday your boy will be 19 and may want to serve as a missionary or he may want to do what most 19 years old are doing in our society. Your attitude may serve as an example to your young son.

The Traveler

[Guest Taoist_Saint]

Originally posted by Runnerguy@Jul 12 2005, 06:29 AM

Taoist, I appreciate your frankness..I was curious about that...kind of makes sense..what do you mean accept a calling..can you give me a example..?..I thought that didnt start until you received your priesthood

My memory might be failing me a bit. I was baptized over two years ago. I seem to remember being given the calling of "Ward Missionary" before I was given the Aaronic Priesthood. Basically, my wife and I had to knock on doors of existing members and see if they needed any help with anything.

Other callings might be teaching, for example. I would think that teaching is not something they would ask you to do unless you held the priesthood. I never was asked to Home Teach or teach Primary until after I was given the Aaronic Priesthood. But then again, women teach Primary classes...and they aren't priests...so...I don't know

Maybe I am remembering this wrong...maybe I had already been given the Priesthood before my first calling.

In any case, the order of the things I mentioned doesn't much matter. The fact is those are things you will be asked to do.

I am not much of a believer in the Church...I joined for family reasons (I am not going to talk about my reasons, because it always causes arguments with other forum members). So obviously I don't really like the pressure to participate, though it hasn't been too bad since I moved to a new ward.

But everyone is different.

Like I said, this kind of "pressure" might not bother someone who enjoys and believes in the Church.

[Winnie G]

Bravo! Traveler

Boy I would love to have seen you teach in my aria!

Just invite them over for dinner and tell them you are investigating and you like to take your time.

They will understand their young and if you think you have presser these elders have a mission president to answer too. They kept track of appointments and even gas mileage.

It keeps these young men from slacking off.

We have a few friends they have the elders over for dinner and before they leave they teach a short message. They are taking their time and the elders are good with that answer.

Many members take on average ten years from first contact to full membership.

Those that take their time are stronger and have little regrets after their baptism.

As fare as priesthood goes, my husband did not become an elder till five years after his baptism. That was the way he wanted it.

If you have pushy people around you, call the bishop or the ward mission leader and he will remind them to BACK OFF you’re calling the shots.

Now this does not men they will not ask you, “Are you there YET”?

They will want to just test the waters sometimes.

Take your time please, my mother joined the church and with in a month her name was removed from the church record.

Why they taught her to fast and she did not fully understand the doctrine of the church.

She is one of the people that can’t see the tree for the forest about many things.

Take your time.

Oh about callings and service that’s not absolute ether you can turn any calling down.

But I can tell you I have grown from every calling I have ever had. They were blessings wrapped up in work. You don’t see the results of your time and effort some times for years. I have seminary students still graduating who take about their first year when I taught them years back and I have moved twice since that. Half these young people I don’t remember them by names but I hear stories of how one spoke about me in there Farwell or talks as grown adults.

If you seen me 28 years ago you would just shake your head, I am a different person now.

The church saved me physically and spiritually.

I’m now a woman in my mid 40’s with four children and three grandchildren.

I have not had a calling for over a year, why I’m not sure but for the fact that the bishop told my husband I work (job) to hard, I’m not unemployed and enjoying my time at home for the first time since my last child was born.

Just take your time and enjoy the spirit teaching you, pray about it and ponder it in you hart and mind. You don’t have to share your thoughts with any one in less you want too.

[huma17]

Do they want to baptize? Probably, but hopefully they are just excited to teach someone the Gospel.

Advice - talk to them a bit after church, ask some questions, and see where thier intentions really are. If they don't give you answers, or give you quick ones, then move quickly on to D. #1, then you might just want to wait until some other missionaries come to town. If they seem sincere, and answer your questions as honestly as they can - taking time to answer correctly, then tell them you just need to take things slowly, and they should understand.

[Shawn]

Be true to your name and run.