Suicide

[MsQwerty]

My brother committed suicide at the same time my husband (who suffers with depression) was in hospital under suicide watch. He didn't plan it that way, he didn't even know my husband was in hospital at the time. Nothing could have prepared me for the devastating reality of losing someone in that manner. So sudden and irreparable. I did think he was selfish because he left a little girl who adored him, but in his mind he believed she would be better off without him and that no-one loved him anyway. In his suicide note he wrote, among other things "I've lost my will to live" and "I hope god wil forgive me". Out of the grief and devastation came one small blessing though. It made me acutely aware of how it would feel if my husband ever managed to complete the act he had attempted several times. My brother's death helped me to resolve to stand by my husband even after he had done everything he could to drive me away, because I then understood that his actions weren't about me, they were about wanting to escape from the terrible pain and anguish he was in. Thankfully, things are stable for my husband now, but barely 16 months ago it was a very different story. I try continually to look at the 'big picture' and help him to stay healthy for his sake and that of our children. I look on it as an illness. I wouldn't leave him if he had a physical ailment, and I won't leave him over one that is mental.

As for what happens to those who take their own lives, in the majority of cases I'm sure that depression or other emotional issues are at work, and knowing that god is merciful, he will take each individual's situation into account. I don't believe my brother will be punished for being in a state of utter despondency that he couldn't raise himself from. Not that I have any scriptures to back up my thoughts on the issue, but on a spiritual level that's what I feel.

[ADoyle90815]

I think that there's still a stigma when it comes to mental health treatment, especially with clinical depression that often isn't able to be treated by LDS Social Services, since it often requires a combination of therapy and medication. I'm not criticizing the LDS counseling program at all, for minor things, it probably is effective, but depression and other mental illnesses are more severe, as the brain chemistry is different. In a way, such illnesses are like diabetes, it can be controlled with proper treatment.

[NeuroTypical]

My mom tried suicide and blamed me for it in her note. Kind of a hard burden for a 13 year old kid to carry. Probably what saved my life, was her shrink yelling at her, pointing at me and saying "What the hell were you thinking? You're ripping his guts out!" That singe experience got me to understand that no matter what the real cause was, it wasn't me.

Getting yelled at seemed to be what she needed too. His words seemed to reach her (maybe for the first time), that no really, she was harming someone she claimed to love. She never tried that again.

Over the years, I've been willing to entertain the notion that there can be a big difference in someone who attempts suicide, and someone who actually goes through with it. My mom made a few tiny cuts on her wrists that barely bled, and screamed bloody murder. It's hard to find a more obvious call for attention than that. She wasn't trying to kill herself, she was screaming for help in the only way she knew how. It was just a particularly crappy way. Calling for help is different than taking drastic and permanent measures to permanently end pain.

LM

Edited September 2, 2009 by Loudmouth_Mormon

[ferretrunner]

Suicide is a greatly misunderstood issue. Suicide Awareness Week is this month.

Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States. Approximately 92 suicides are completed daily. There is one suicide attempt every 38 seconds.

There is no 100% accurate profile of someone who is suicidal. Some warning signs include:

Ideation (talking/ writing about suicide, death, dying), Substance abuse, Purposelessness, Anxiety, Trapped, Hopelessness, Withdrawl, Anger, Mood Changes. IS PATH WARM? People may also give away possessions or listen to music that talks about death and suicide. People who have a history of mental health diagnosis, have attempted suicide in the past or have a family member or close friend who has completed suicide are at increased risk. People who have a suicide plan are at increased risk. Not everyone will show the same symptoms of being suicidal, just like not everyone will show the same symptoms of the flu.

Some myths:

Asking someone about being suicidal will "plant the idea" in their head. No. You won't cause someone to become suicidal by asking about suicide any more than a doctor asking you about your chest will cause you to have chest pain.

If someone really wants to commit suicide, there's nothing that can be done. No. Often there are underlying conditions that can be treated. Also, helping the person to resolve some of the problems and address the feeling of being alone and overwhelmed may help. More people consider suicide than ever attempt it.

There are talkers and there are doers. If someone is talking about suicide, they are thinking about suicide. Most people who attempt suicide tell someone before.

What you can do: ask. Listen. Know where and how to get help. Don't judge and be supportive. Encourage the person to get professional help. If you think the risk is immediate, take him/her to the ER or call 911.

This is a great website with links about suicide, including links for those who know someone who has completed suicide. The statistics come from a VA program called "Operation SAVE." I didn't include the veteran specific stats. Suicide Prevention, Intervention, Research, Education, Training

Talisyn,

Military 1 Source also provides referals to services for active, guard, and reserve. It also is a resource for families. Military OneSource 1-800-342-9647. They do referals for services in the local area. I found the link I was looking for yesterday. This is the VA website for OIF/OEF services: Returning Service Members - Operation Enduring Freedom / Operation Iraqi Freedom (OEF/OIF)