Daughter who was molested doing better..

[RadioactiveWolfboy]

I just wanted to thanks everyone for their kind words and advice. My daughter is doing so much better. She has found a counselor that is working wonderful for her. She is overcoming alot of obstacles and doing better in life. She has decided to go back to college starting in January of 2010. She went to her molesters arraignment last Thursday with her mother and I there for moral support. He and his mother were not thrilled that we were there. His lawyer tried to get the case thrown out because it took so long for my daughter to come forward and tell her story. Fortunately the judge stated that he would not throw the case out as the defendant had confessed to what he did. My daughter says that she is willing to take the witness stand if needed. She is starting to show signs of interest in Church. So I am building on that a little at a time. I no longer feel and anger when I see the molester. Which is a good thing. I am working very hard to be forgiving. I am having a hard time with doing this with his mother, because she blames my daughter for her son's suffering. My ex's fiance told her the other night that she should not be angry at my daughter as she was the victim, not him. I will eventually get to the point where I don't hold a grudge. All of us are staying away from the family. So life is better. ...and the most important thing is that my daughter is regaining her confidence and I am no longer angry with the molester. Thanks again!!

[BenRaines]

Good luck in your lifes trial for you and your daughter. Love her as you have stated that you have and time should help you all.

Ben Raines

[jadams_4040]

I just wanted to thanks everyone for their kind words and advice. My daughter is doing so much better. She has found a counselor that is working wonderful for her. She is overcoming alot of obstacles and doing better in life. She has decided to go back to college starting in January of 2010. She went to her molesters arraignment last Thursday with her mother and I there for moral support. He and his mother were not thrilled that we were there. His lawyer tried to get the case thrown out because it took so long for my daughter to come forward and tell her story. Fortunately the judge stated that he would not throw the case out as the defendant had confessed to what he did. My daughter says that she is willing to take the witness stand if needed. She is starting to show signs of interest in Church. So I am building on that a little at a time. I no longer feel and anger when I see the molester. Which is a good thing. I am working very hard to be forgiving. I am having a hard time with doing this with his mother, because she blames my daughter for her son's suffering. My ex's fiance told her the other night that she should not be angry at my daughter as she was the victim, not him. I will eventually get to the point where I don't hold a grudge. All of us are staying away from the family. So life is better. ...and the most important thing is that my daughter is regaining her confidence and I am no longer angry with the molester. Thanks again!!

This is one of those things that will never go away entirely; I have a daughter whom went thru this many years ago and she is happy and productive person now; well balanced and strong; but the abuse will always be in the back of her mind. For the person whom reapeatedly did this to her; all i can say is that he is only alive because i am a worthy preisthood holder and am still trying to keep a handle on forgiveness;{after 25 years}. God only knows how much hell she has had to overcome thru the years; but anyway today she is very normal in her attitude and life. And i am verry proud of her for being the excample she is.

[dazed-and-confused]

i find that forgiveness i so much easier when the other party takes reponibility for their actions, and that i can move on more quickly when i take responsibility for mine, as well.

i'm glad to hear your daughter is doing better..realise, however, that these wounds and their scars run very deep and need to heal in their own way..and they wil, as long as healing is what is wanted.

sometimes the anger can still come out.

this may sound a bit insane, but, he (the molester), did a terrible thing.....caused so much pain and anger that will take time to heal properly.....for everyone involved.....and yet, through his contrition, he has also started the healing process.

of course, HF and the Spirit need to be alive within you to feel the forgiveness you feel, and the ability for your daughter to BEGIN to move on........they are blessings.

i'm sure that i didnt express that at all well....but what i am trying to say is that blessings happen in very strange ways, sometimes...in the midst of great sorrow and pain...and sometimes, anger.

i thank you for this post. as i read it..i also felt a warmth and calm that touched me deeply inside.

many molesters DONT accept responsibilty, and that process is very much more involved to get through.......but blessings come there as well.

human spiritual growth is an incredible blessing...perhaps one of the best.

[WmLee]

I spent 5 years working on a sex crime unit before i retired. My heart aches for what you and your daughter, what your whole family has suffered. I wish there was a magic wand to wave, a special word to whisper, something that would make it all better. As you know, there is no such thing. But I do know, that love will heal. The love and suport you have for your daughter, and if she only knew how much her Father in Heaven loves her.

If you can, go to the temple with your daughter. Perhaps give her some time there alone. even if it's to the visitors center. I can't think of a better place to feel His love.

[Elphaba]

I just wanted to thanks everyone for their kind words and advice. My daughter is doing so much better. She has found a counselor that is working wonderful for her. She is overcoming alot of obstacles and doing better in life. She has decided to go back to college starting in January of 2010. She went to her molesters arraignment last Thursday with her mother and I there for moral support. He and his mother were not thrilled that we were there. His lawyer tried to get the case thrown out because it took so long for my daughter to come forward and tell her story. Fortunately the judge stated that he would not throw the case out as the defendant had confessed to what he did. My daughter says that she is willing to take the witness stand if needed. She is starting to show signs of interest in Church. So I am building on that a little at a time. I no longer feel and anger when I see the molester. Which is a good thing. I am working very hard to be forgiving. I am having a hard time with doing this with his mother, because she blames my daughter for her son's suffering. My ex's fiance told her the other night that she should not be angry at my daughter as she was the victim, not him. I will eventually get to the point where I don't hold a grudge. All of us are staying away from the family. So life is better. ...and the most important thing is that my daughter is regaining her confidence and I am no longer angry with the molester. Thanks again!!

I'm very glad to hear you're daughter is doing well.

I hope she does get to take the stand, as that can be very healing to a victim of sexual abuse. It sounds like she would be up to it now, whereas she wasn't earlier.

Good luck to your healing family.

Elphaba