WmLee

I am old; there is no dispute about that. But I remember my instructor telling us there was the "letter of the law" and the "spirit of the law" and we, as police officers, MUST use common sense. Though there may be an ordinance on the books that defines and restricts singing at the Lincoln Memorial, we need to use a little common sense here! I have the kids back on this one!!

I think Funky has given some great suggestions here. First, if you want to deny your membership, why bring it up in the first place? Telling others you “use to be” just opens the door to further questions. If you want to profess yourself as agonistic put on the big boys pants and tell everyone, even your family, that this is who you are. There is nothing worse than a Sunday Mormon or one who wants to be a Mormon when it’s best to be one rather than show the true colors. It’s sad that substance abuse and/or not keeping church standards are more attractive than being an adult about life. Had you written and stated you had done a lot of study and you feeling, your beliefs have changed, I think I could have supported you position. All you’ve stated here are “I smoke, injest, and insufflate substances that are against the word of wisdom . . .” which tell me you simply want to party. “I will never tell my family though. I am a member of a family of 10 and like a bajillion relatives all mormon on my mom's side except me it would mess things up . . ."” shows you have no backbone and “I just wanna prove my mormon friends that I can do this and there's no turning back for me” just tells me you want to be the “bad boy, the party dude” and it's just for show. You never wrote you had a change of heart AND intelligence. Don’t dignify your weakness for the party life by jumping on the “agonistic” bandwagon. Go to the bishop AND you parents, tell them the truth and take you stance. Don’t pee on your friends; you’ve already peed on yourself.

I thought the cut and paste was done when the person replying couldn't multi-task and keep the reply in any sort of understandable order. Very few of the ladies seem to cut and paste while the gentlemen seem to thrife in it!!

A mission, no matter how you “label” it is a mission. I hope to serve a mission soon as a senior missionary. Will I serve in a proselytizing or a service oriented mission, I don’t know. But dedicated yourself, your time and your talents to serve the Lord is a mission and I am proud of all who serve. Don’t get caught up in the title of the mission, let him serve! There is genealogy work that must be done, or our temple work would be for what?

I’ve been ‘skunked’ a few times and I know tomato sauce takes the smell out, of you and the dog. But the area smell, I have no clue what to tell ya! I would do the trap idea and get rid of the thing right away. Good luck.

welcome to the site!! I've been here for a while and still feel lost.

I do ever understand how you felt. I hate meetings like Stake Conference when the choir is there an hour or so early for a final practice and they spread their scriptures and notebooks out to “save” seats for later. Then, those seats stay vacant until ten minutes before the meeting starts and then the families come in and fill the spots. Others, who have come early, are back in the “cheap seats” (folding chairs). Our Stake Presidency has started holding meetings for new members and investigators 45 minutes before the conference and ONLY those who have been baptized in the past year or those with investigators are allowed in. The choir warms up in the RS room. We, as members, need to be more sensitive to others.

Something a lot of people never think about . . . when a man and woman are sealed for time and all eternity, when it comes time to “meet” in the next phase of life, if the woman doesn’t feel the man lived up to his covenants (promises made in the temple) she doesn’t have to be with him. She can still have the children and receive all that she is entitled receive. I know that when we reach that “place” and we have a complete understanding of our lives we will have a different outlook. However, the idea that my wife may not answer me or join me when that time calls makes me work even harder to be worthy of all she expects. I also expect the same from her. We have and will make mistakes long the way. But if we keep focused on what is to come we can deal with things a lot better.

The way I explain the difference between a High Priest and an Elder Quorum meeting; EQ is like a really bad sitcom, the HP discuss things and share ideas that can build a man into a better man. (The over-sized scriptures are just for looks) And I was ordained a HP when I was 31. It’s been the best learning environment I have ever had!

Thank you for that!!!

Passenger ~ you’ve asked a few questions, each one could have a lot of answers. I want to address just one, why do other faiths hate or reject the LDS faith? From what I have experienced, in my never humble opinion, they are afraid of losing their members to the LDS faith. There is no smoke and mirror, no “just believe cause I said so” in the LDS church, the trueth is right there for everyone to understand. To me, that truthfulness is the gospel of Jesus Christ. If people knew the truth of the church, they wold join. And other religious leaders need the members to stay or join them. They need them because without the members paying a tithe or contributing to the church, they don’t get money. They are paid to be the leader. This is not true in the LDS faith. There is also the part of being LDS where you are expected understand your Savior and once you are a Christian, you are expected to live, as Christ would. You are expected to live a clean, pure life to the best of your ability and understanding. In the LDS church there is accountability for your actions. I have someone I work with who is a very devote catholic. I asked him what would happen, in church, if he was to commit adultery. He said “nothing”. He would have to confess to the priest, the priest would tell him what he needed to do to repent, (prayers to make, all written out for him) but other than that and some counseling from the priest, not much else. To summarize what I’m trying to say, to me, it seems like other churches will conform to what people want and expect. The LDS church expects us to conform to what out Father in Heaven expects. People don’t like to work for what they get (salvation) and again, they have to keep the members coming back. The less they know of the LDS church the more secure they have of keeping the membership number up.

You've gotten some very sound advice. Continue dating, don't stop and look or wait for one who fits this dream. You need to continue to grow and developed and someone you date, once or a dozen times, my lead you to who will be your eternal companion. Dreams can be very helpful, they have helped me.

I'm surprised you aren't impressed with these 19 year old kids! I've met a few who are young and they look like deer in the headlights. But, I have listened to some of these young men and the words that have come out of their mouths . . . Next time, don't look at the 19 year old, listen for the spirit!

Dahlia ~ Let me see if I can explain this from a personal side. My mother is an “intellect”. The woman holds two doctorate degrees, is published in her field and at one time lectured across the states. When missionaries came to the door she went through three sets and when she ran out of questions and had them all answered to some degree she thought there must be something in the gospel. She and the family joined the church. She would sometimes attend Sacrament meeting, but she always made sure we went, (I think it was almost like a child care service. She stayed home and read the paper and got ready for her week). After my father died she was less active. She supported everything about the church, did everything asked of her, but she never really had “both feet in the water”. Then, she almost lost me when I was injured at work. She made promises to her Father in Heaven IF he would only let me stay. A few years later I came in contact with a bug that almost killed me. While in a coma she again made promises, if only He would allow me to stay, (nothing special about me, I’m just her only son). Then she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She underwent chemo, had things removed, then diabetes set in. Again, she made promises IF she just had time to finish all she was working on. One day we were talking and she told me what a fine job I had done with my children. She said, “I don’t know where you got all the energy and time to do all you do with the kids. They are so lucky to have you as their father”. I said, “Mom, I only wanted to give them what I never had when I was growing up. A parent who did things with and for them”. She was so hurt, and it wasn’t something I meant to do. I explained to her that she had been so busy with college, with lecturing, with writing, I always wanted her to be there when I got an award, when I was singing the solo at school or church, I just wanted her to see what I could do. It was just after that talk that she started to volunteer for things at church. She has served two missions, she has sent four grandchildren on missions (she made sure they understood the gospel before they were allowed to leave for the MTC) she has been working on Family History for the past 7 years. She says she always thought she was smarter than the people at church. She “understood” that a lot of what she read in the scriptures was written and put there just to help the less intelligent people live a good life. After our talk she looked back over her life and realized that she was living as if she was the important one, not the kids, not her Father in Heaven. Suddenly she understood she was here to learn and to grow and to help other do the same. So: 1) if you go to church, they will ask you to come back often and stay. Even the really smart people can learn a little AND you learn more when you teach. 2) No one will be offended if you leave after Sacrament Meeting. They would be sad, but not offended. 3) Go once a month if that’s all you want to do. Again, some sad faces will be there as you leave and those who have the love of our Savior in them will encourage you to come back often and stay. 4) No one will make you get a temple recommend. You can be married in the church for time only (not an eternal marriage) if that is what your goal is. Tithing is NOT required from anyone. Again, the parable about the widow’s mite and stuff . . . probably wasn’t meant for everyone, just those who didn’t understand service. 5) My ‘conversion” happens all the time. When I am at the temple, or just after leaving, when I help someone who didn’t expect help, when someone puts out a hand to me when I didn’t think anyone knew I was hurt or needed just a hug to make it through the day. I haven’t tried to put you down in any way. I just found my mother so intelligent that the simple things went right by and she was missing so much of life. Can you tell me how the earth was formed, how life came to be, how intelligence knows what to do? How does the molecule know how to fix to another to create something? How does a baby know to breath after birth, how does a mother know something is wrong when a child miles away is hurt? Humble yourself and know you are not as intelligent as He that created you. Humble yourself and ask Him what you are to do in/with your life. Ask Him if what you are reading is true, and then get ready to really grow! I hope I haven’t offended you in any way.

I will try to think of the ordinances, the covenants that we make at the altar as a small step . . . but to honest with you, I think everyone who is or has prepared to go to the temple has felt the work from the destroyer increase greatly as that small step drew closer. I agree and I like the concept, a small step WHEN you are already living the life asked of to attend. But it is such a big step, to stand before God, angels and witness’s and make such a covenant, to live your life as our Savior has asked us to live, is such a giant step! Yes, a very small step when you look at what is asked of us to enter the temple. Such a giant step when you are at the altar making promises to your Father in Heaven to KEEP what you have worked so hard to chance, the lifestyle you have chosen to abide by . . . . . And it must be a giant step if Satan works so hard to keep us from entering and works so hard to keep us from returning. But I like your thoughts here!!

I was always allowed to choose the paint for my room, and then paint it myself as I grew up. I have always liked something like “sandalwood” (kind-a like a sandy brown) but one year (during my high school era) I cut across one wall with a royal blue band that became a giant check mark. It started about three feet from the top on one side, down towards the middle of the wall and just before reaching the bottom it went back up to the other side . . . a giant ‘check’ mark! In the upper corner of the opposite wall a friend painted an animated sun with a face and everything. Kind-a like you might see on the “Roger rabbit” movie. Mom thought I was very creative, asked me to take a drug test and then grilled my friends to see if I had been smoking anything, (I hadn’t). My office is “sandalwood” but now the walls are covered with artsy-fartsy pictures I have taken and five printers trays with my ever growing thimble collection, (when the wife and kids found out I was collecting thimbles they asked me to take a drug test and started grilling friends from work and church asking if they knew of me smoking anything). I think teal is great IF it makes you feel at ease and like you’re “at home” when you're in the room.

There is a lot to be said about mutual respect here. How can your wife expect you to respect her non-belief yet not allow you to believe? Seems way one-sided here!! But, you ‘right’ to believe isn’t simply a belief. It is also a change in your thoughts; you’re feeling and your lifestyle isn’t it? You can be a “Christian” and not be more Christ like. Would your wife object to going to a cannery and packaging food for the needy? Would she object to helping someone who is organizing a clothing drive or making baby quilts for those who have lost so much due to a natural catastrophe? The point I’m trying to make is that being a Christian means doing what Christ would do; there is a lot of service here. That would be a change in lifestyle for a lot of people; especially those who don’t belief in a God. It’s not just a belief here; it’s a change in your life, I your lifestyle. You’re asking a lot from her. I’m in no way trying to push you away from the truthfulness of the gospel, if you’re desire to be baptized, to signify your conversion and make a covenant with God and I’m not telling you there is no hope. I don’t think anyone on this site has a stronger testimony of the gospel, the restoration of it through a boy who asked for an answer to his prayers than I. I would fight to the death to protect my beliefs and my rights to my religion. I have a living testimony that this is the true church and it is lead by a living prophet of God. But, you have built a relationship based on a different lifestyle and now you want to change a part if it’s foundation. You can’t force that one your wife. You need to pray . . . a lot. You need to get help from a loving Father in Heaven who knows you. He knows you and He knows your wife. Perhaps prayer, and more prayer, and time will soften her heart and allow her to see something in you that will want her to know more about Him!

Are we bragging or warning the children NOT to play in the street!!! LOL, Congrats!

1st, don't place yourself anywhere the two of you might make mistakes. That's the first rule my grandfather gave my wife (before the temple) and I and as long as we stayed where we belonged, there was no problem. it's really simple. We were able to date, go to dinner, have nice talks and make great pans and share ideas, and we could do it without laying down or sitting in a parked car, (I worked full time and had my own place, she was a student and lived with her folks). we had moments, but we kept trying to be temple worthy. it was sooooo worht the effort. My only question, if he is the right one, if you are the right one, why aren't plans being made? My wifes parents thought I wasn't the right one! Within two years i was their favorite and have remained that for 27 years.

Newport Beach, California Temple ~ I was there as she was built, my girls cleaned inside many times at the end of a day of construction. After construction I watched over her during the public open house and dedication, I sang on her first dedicatory choir, then I was called to serve after dedication. I'm now hundreds of miles away and my baby is getting married. She's asked to receive her endowments there as that is her temple. She said that has been her goal since the day she first dusted or picked up a broken or unused tile or a scrap piece of carpet.

STOP taking diet pills!! Then if it all be muscles, check your body fat index and if it is within a healthy ratio, take the report (or print out) to your Stake President. Most fitness clubs can check your body fat for little or no cost! Take care of your body!!! Diet pills and crash diets won't do it here!! Good luck.

CtheR ~ what you are seeing is not standard practice but I am proud of you leaders for following through. Too often when is appears something has happened a brother is called in and it is denied. It must have happened as you went in and you wanted things put right. His denial can’t be overlooked and forgotten all because he wants to carry on as if nothing happened. I believe your priesthood leaders are giving him every opportunity to get his life in order. If you are asked to speak with his Bishop, I think you should. If you are asked to speak to the Stake President, you should. This isn’t a matter of “snitching” on someone. Someone has broken a very sacred covenant and if he doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal, let him deny it to those who have been instructed to look after the church. I’ve seen too many testimonies shaken and shattered by those who have been given the responsibility to look after the church, not do just that. Before I retired I was a police officer. We were expected to live by a higher standard, (I know, many do not). As an LDS police officer I was expected, by other officers, to have an even higher standard. I don’t believe you’ve been asked to do anything out of the ordinary; or anything that shouldn’t be considered ordinary when someone refuses to help themselves.

Secretsister ~ I have read your postings and the replies you’ve received and I see great points in both. It is very difficult to live through an abusive relationship and then watch them continue to remain in good standings and hold something as dear and precious as the priesthood. I know you understand it is simply your word against his regarding this abuse. However I noticed you wrote your history with him was the same as his first wife. In church discipline one question that is asked (regarding a hearing) is if the case is a difficult one. When someone comes forth with a full confession and desires to repent, it is not considered a difficult case. However, when the person has two or more witnesses and he continues to deny the charges, it is deemed difficult. Have you spoken to the first wife? Are there civil (police or court) records of his abuse? Are there any court actions (counseling or restraining orders) on him? My brother came out of a very abusive relationship. His ex-wife moved on and married a return missionary almost ten years her younger. She continues to mentally abuse/manipulate their children and the church. She lies at every turn and unfortunately, the bishop has done little more than talk with her about the allegations. My brother refuses to take the paperwork he has to the church to show her true colors. He says by doing so it would only make things worst for the kids, (they are all teenagers). I’m just as mad at him as I am her Bishop, but she is so good with her lies and manipulation. The kids see through her and know how to lay low. I know come that Day of Judgment, she will have to stand and face her lies. Good luck with what you are going through.

You might consider inviting them to Ward Activities, perhaps to join your family for a few things, on the days they cancel an appointment send them a short letter with a spiritual message and tell them you are sorry you couldn't meet with htem. I know the letter thing is more of a Visiting Teaching things, but it tells the family you are trying, you care, and it is going the extra mile.

We're not the only people who have done proxy baptisms. It was part of the Orthodox Jewish practice at one time.