WmLee

Your talk will be great!! I know it will. As far as the part of your life you would rather not discuss, I have apart I hope is never heard. So, with my kids and when I speak and that subject needs to be mentioned, I simply say there are things in my life I have done that I am extremely ashamed of. Things they may have in their past that doesn’t need to be discussed. But know that the promise of the atonement is true for them just as it was true for you IF you take advantage of repentance. Quote Alma 7:11-12, that ALL that we may suffer from, all our infirmities, that He experienced them all so that we could stand before our Father on that judgment day and He will be our Mediator with the Father. He will say that though we have not done everything, we have taken on His name and He paid the price so that we may be forgiven and be less than perfect. Your conversion was a great story because it brought a light, threw all the darkness you were in and showed you the way home!! It will be a great and very moving talk. Write it out and share it with us here!! I look forward to reading it.

I once looked forward to “getting into it” with these groups and one day I realized that no matter what I said, how I exposed the twist and deception in their writing and/or arguments I wasn’t getting anywhere. Then I recalled something I heard some time ago, and I may not have this word for word correct, but, “Don’t wrestle with pigs. You’ll just get dirty and the pigs don’t care” or something like that. Sad that they have nothing better to do than attack the restored gospel. Makes it even more true

Funky ~ I'm going out on a limb here but I say it first, I like Glee! It's like a corney Stake Road Show that just doesn't end. I know the story line isn't what you would find at a church show, but the music is good, there is talent, and I like it. I may be the only one in the house that does, but dog-gone it, I'm the man of the house and that show will be DVO'd until I have time to sit and watch it!!

"Take me to your pants"

LdyBug . . . Ease dropping on an all girl chat site.

My grandfather lied about his genealogy for years, since he was 15 anyway, because he entered the country illegally. He spent his entire adult life in the armed services, (US) married a women from another country, (while stationed overseas) my mother was born in another country, he lied and got them both citizenship, (because grandma married a “citizen” and mother was his daughter) . . . . and it goes on. He was 90 something when he finally told me the truth, (I had been looking for his parents to do genealogy for years). The local library had copies of phone books from around the world. I checked for the country and city he said he was from and found a number of people with the same last name. I started calling each Sunday, (the rates were lower on Sunday) and three weeks later found his younger sister. There are a lot of tools out there if you think about it. Take all the info you have and start snooping!! I now have a really extended family and we talk and visit all the time, (as we can afford anyway). Good luck.

I want to say “ditto” to what FairChild wrote. He is so right. Even the “trained” professionals can miss clues. Sometimes my wife has had to pick up my pieces and carry the ball for a while. There have been times when I have been hit with something more than what I thought I could handle. During that time she stepped up to the plate and took care of things. She gave me some time and then reminded me that I have a family and responsibilities that are greater than my ‘pity party’ and I needed to be the dad again. Give him some time; he has a lot on his mind. Encourage him to talk to someone, at least his bishop. The church has a publication, the exact title I am not sure of, but it is about suicide. You can check online at lds.org. Perhaps something along that line could be a tool for you or answers for your husband.

Melissa ~ Since you really don’t have much memory of the church or the teachings I suggest you contact the bishop, and the missionaries when you get to church Sunday. There should be “mission-ets” (my pet name for female missionaries) in your Stake if not in the Ward. If not, I am sure there are female Ward Missionaries that can work with you. Ask for them to treat you as if you were a brand new investigator. Because, in a sense, you are. Learn from scratch is the best. When they have finished with those lessons you will be in a class called, “Gospel Essentials”. This is the class new converts attend. 1) Mixed relations are no problem and the church doesn’t have any “rules” or requirements between a man and woman when it comes to race. And, it’s no problem that he is Catholic. In my family only one parent joined and the other remained Catholic. 2) You can attend alone; no one will bite you or call you names. In fact, once they know your husband is not a member they will be encouraging you to invite him out to social events, like dinners and parties. No pressure on him to join. The church is all about family. 3) The bishop may want to meet your husband. He may want to visit you at home or something just so he can get to know him and assure him that there is no problem if he chooses to not join you at church. He will also want you husband to know he is always welcome. 4) You do not have to avoid the sacrament. The sacrament is a renewing of the covenants we made when we were baptized. If, for any reason you do not want to take the sacrament, you don’t have to. Confession with the bishop . . . well if you’ve done something wrong that you need to talk with him about, go. But it’s not like the Catholic faith. The Ward missionaries can explain all of that to you in your Sunday school class. 5) Tithing is something that we have been asked to pay. One tenth of our gain is the standard. There are many interpretations on this. Some believe it is after taxes, some after you have paid all of your other debts. Others pay a tithe of 10% right off the top, before anything else. So, 10% of your gain is the word, follow the spirit and what you conscious feels is right. Once you understand what is done (by the church) with the tithe that is paid you will really understand what it is all about. 6) It would be nice if the missionaries could meet with you and your husband at home. I understand he has no interest in the church but it would be nice if he understood what you are doing and your beliefs. Since you have roommates it might be best, and you can ask for them to teach you at church on Sunday. Again, it would be nice if your husband would sit and listen with you. It is a little of a strain to have two religions, or two beliefs under the same roof. It worked okay in my house as they supported each other in what they believed. And again, the Ward should have sister missionaries that can meet with you.

A very dear friend of mine was not a member and wanted to know more about the church. I asked if the missionaries could visit and she welcomed them in. She lived with her male partner, who was a quadriplegic. She accepted the gospel, he did not. He was very bitter about his accident and his physical limitations. He blamed God for his problems. She asked to be baptized but because they were not married, simply living together, she could not. Even though he physically couldn’t do things . . . chastity was not an issue, the fact that they lived together was not church standards. If you truly believe this is the Church of Jesus Christ, that He has called modern day prophets, you will accept the fact that you cannot live with a man you are not married to. Physical contact isn’t really the issue here. Prophets have instructed, so we don’t. I understand what you say and I do not want to sound unsympathetic. If he loves you and you live him, get married and be baptized. My real question here is how will half the family is Muslim and the other half live Christian?

Sometimes the bishop can get more on his plate . . . and I am not making an excuse. At the same time, when someone is placed on probation they should be meeting with the bishop regularly. That is in the handbook! So, someone may have dropped the ball and I think you need to pursue this. It’s you, it’s you priesthood, it’s your personal progression. I would call the Stake Exec. Secretary and get an appointment with a member of the Stake Presidency as soon as possible. Not to “rat off” the bishop, but for your own personal mental health. I’ve told people for years, the gospel is true, we have living prophets and this is Christ church. Those who are called to serve may have oversights and make a mistake once in a while, (and I’ve made my share) but that doesn’t change the truthfulness of the gospel.

I have never been a RSP but have relied on her to keep me on top of what is going on. I hope you have PPI’s with your Bishop each week and that you advise him of what’s going on. He can instruct you and the priesthood leaders on what needs to be done. If you have any ideas, promptings, thoughts, inspiration, etc. share them with the Bishop. Bishops rely on leaders and councilors to assist him in his work. Once you have shared your knowledge and concerns with the bishop, it’s time to leave it alone and move on. You need to be ready for the next sister or family that needs your sensitivity and you need to take care of your own family. If you can’t pass it on and leave it alone, ask the bishop for a blessing so you can have an open mind and an unburdened heart.

I wouldn’t even ask. Everyone has some baggage of some sort. If she chose to tell me it would be to ease her conscious and to let me know where she came from. Where you came from isn’t as important as how you got to where you are, what you learned on the way and most important, where you are now. I’m told when we repent, truly repent, we are forgiven and it is forgotten by our Father in Heaven. We however, do not forget least we make the same mistake again. When I was dating my wife she told me one night that there were things in her past she was ashamed of. I told her that wasn’t important to me; (her past) because I could see who she was and I could see what and who she could be. And that is why I wanted her in my life. I saw a home centered on the Savior, a home of love and learning, one where the outside world would not be the most important function. I have no idea what she might have said that night and she has never disappointed me. She has filled my life with more than I could ever imagine. If YOU feel you need to share something, then do. If he changes his mind about you then he never really saw you in the first place. Sad as it might be, it’s better to know about him up front. But I don't think it's important.

You have some very good council here. First, though your Bishop is out of town and you have to wait, start your repentance now. Don’t talk to a member of the Bishopric; the counselors were NOT given the keys of discernment nor set apart as Judges in Israel. I would suggest you find someone else to teach for you this week and perhaps the following week as well. Fast and pray, and get a copy of “The Miracle of Forgiveness” and start reading it. Don’t stop taking the sacrament unless the bishop asked you to. If you don’t feel worthy to pray or speak in church, don’t. If asked just kindly ask if someone else could as you are working through something. A sister in church was asked once to give the closing prayer in Sunday School. She said, “I’m sorry but could you ask someone else?” And that was all that was said of it. No one asked anything or made a big deal of it. When your Bishop gets back make an appointment. Tell him what happened and what you’ve done while waiting for his return. You’ve got a great heart and a strong spirit. You’ll be just fine!!

I had my share of "wild days" and I also have a few marks. I think it was a mistake and when I see them I am reminded. I would like to have them removed but the cost has kept me regretting what I did. Not just because of church officials or anything. Just reminds me of a very sad point in my life when I made some terrible mistakes. Perhaps, if I considered it "art" or something, but I don't. I can't think of anyone, male or female, who looks better because of them.

As a retired cop I suggest you call the local PD and have an officer come out to discuss this. Show him what you find moved and/or disturbed and learn what the law is. Most states require a landlord to give you 24 hour notice before entering your home. Once there they have to leave a notice of what work was done. Now, this is not required is there is an emergency such as plumbing leak or smoke alarm going off. The webcam is a great idea if you have the money and know-how but in this case I would have an officer stop by, show him what you have seen and get his/her advises. They may want to set up a surveillance camera to stop this perv once and for all!!

Very nice job Maya!! Like other I can't read a lick of it, but the music and spirit is there!

I hate to leave you out in the cold but I too am at a loss. I remember the Stake RS Pres in a Stake Correlation meeting say the she wanted to stop all the “extra” stuff and get back to the basics. So, enrichment night was gone. She also suggested that the men not play basketball on Tuesday morning and Thursday evening. Something about the church being for spiritual growth or something. I’ve read the talk the sister gave at conference and I don’t see the radical change I’ve heard about in that talk. I love the gospel and this is the Lords church. But I also feel there is room for social interaction and social development. What you have asked is news to me. My wife has helped me with all I do in every position I have been called to serve in. She is always there to help me understand, or if I just want to bounce an idea off of her. She supports and sustains me in my service. So, in a very general way, I suppose that is sustaining, instructing and edifying you ask about.

My first thought was think past yourself and what you can't seem to find. Go help someone, do service, stop looking for that something to feel, that reward for your effort and I bet you become filled with more than you thought possible.

Years ago I too felt a little ‘put back’ when I heard all the praise and such about Joseph Smith. I wondered why people were so caught up in mentioning him in testimonies and such. When I learned more about his life and what he and the other brethren went through just to spread the gospel and to establish the church, I think I understand now. I am amazed that in a country built around freedom by men and women seeking freedom, that men, women and children would be chased out of their homes; have their property taken, their constitutional rights violated, all because of their religion. Not to minimize anything that was done by the early saints, what Joseph Smith did was amazing. I will only worship God, but I will forever be grateful for and praise Joseph Smith, as I do Wilford Woodruff and Gordon B. Hinckley. Amazing men!

Gay ~ As far as I am concerned you are more than welcome here. Having family members who have struggled through what I’m sure you have, could be a great benefit to those who chose to develop an understanding of your position. I laughed as I read Loudmouth’s response and pictured one of the always faithful, blue hairs from the congregation wrinkling her brow and shaking her finger as she reminds you of the “site rules” (let ‘em in the door but keep ‘em in their place).

I've always thought it was a THREE second rule! I've been hustling for nothing?

Go to http://rsc.byu.edu/TRE/TRE5_3.pdf page 43 has it all writtien out for you! Good luck.

I have no experience with this one but your situation has hit the heart strings. As a father/grandfather/retired protector of the public my first reaction is to fix it for you and make it better. I can't, but I can tell you the short bit you've posted has helped me more than I can explain. If no one has an answer or an experience to share know that you've lightened my load today! Thanks.

My wife knew of my past mistakes before we were married in the temple. She also knew of my repentance. I thought all was well and good until one night she said, “I’m so glad I waited for you”. Something didn’t feel right. The tone of her voice, her speech pattern told me there was a “but” that would follow. Then she said, “I wish I could have been your first and only”. She will never know how much that tore my heart. I had been a fool and made more than my share of mistakes. I am so ashamed of how I wasted years of my life. Over the past 25 plus years I have tried to make up to her and my children for things I did before I ever knew any of them. I have tried to be the best husband, father, worthy priesthood holder since my repentance which was before I met my wife. I still feel the sting of her words from that night. My mistakes were made before I met her and as I have said, I am so ashamed of what I did. I kept no secret from her. Why would you want the one you love, who has given herself to you and only you for so long, feel this sting? When you love someone more than yourself you will never think of her mistakes again.

I have to disagree. you will not be the most hated or avoided man in the Ward. The Exect. Sec. has always been the right hand man, the man who keeps the other knuckleheads on track and on time, takes care of making sure they do their job. Had an Exec. Sec. that would take all the notes and then email reminders to the bishopric members regarding what they were suppose to do. The Exec. Sec. only took/made appointments for the bishop, councilors are own their own for that one. The best Exec. Sec. I ever served with was like the watch dog over what the bishopric did. He was the most amazing man and taught me more about how to be responsible and fulfill my calling. Enjoy this one!