WmLee

My fear, if fear is the right word, is how do I face Him knowing what I could have done, had I not done some of the selfish, self serving things I did? My short comings are what scare me. He sent me here to do something, to prove myself. I could have done so much more, I could have gotten so much more done had I not been caught up in the way of the world; had I not been so self centered. For that, I am so afraid of facing Him.

As for the Ward Mission Leader . . . there are things we want to say, what people hear us say, and what we wished we would have said. Seems as if a terrible misunderstanding has been made. I have found nothing in the church handbooks that instruct anyone to offer help in having your name removed from the church records. There have been times I wanted to suggest just that! But that is NOT my job. YOU have to request it and then only the Bishop can instruct you on what to do. That IS in the handbook. Approach the Bishop and talk about this with him, (what was said, keep your name on the records :) ). Of course you can go to another Ward. Your records may stay in the first Wards records, but you can attend any Ward you desire. As often as I or others may be wrong, misquoted or misunderstood, the gospel remains true. Give it another chance, with an open heart!

Lizzy ~ I’m not longer “in school” though I am at school. I’ve also retired from doing what I love most, law enforcement. As a teenager I had my share of struggles, I only had one LDS member at the school. He and I were and still are like brothers. When I went onto law enforcement, once they learned I was LDS the jokes and the remarks started. I did my best to ignore the remarks though many of them were bad, (cops have a sick sense of humor). I did my best to keep my standards as an example of what I knew in my heart to be what my Father in Heaven expected of me. One evening I was working an extended shift; I had been out for almost 16 hours. I went to a bar to handle a bar fight. When I got there the problem was a middle age man who stood all of about 5’2” tall. He was drunk and wanted to fight the world. I did my best to talk him down but he kept taking swings at me and trying to fight. I didn’t want to hurt the guy, didn’t want to have people watch this 6’3”, 225 lbs man wrap this guy up like a pretzel, but I was tired. I stepped close to him, popped him on the ear with an open hand, spun him around, picked him up by the pants and carried him to my unit. There I not so softly laid him across the hood of the car, cuffed him and threw him into the back seat of the unit. In the course of all if this I said a few things that were not nice. My language was colorful to say the least. When it was all done one of the officers who had been watching this with amusement said, “So, that’s how Mormons talk when they are using the ‘gifts of tongues” and they all started laughing. I still remember the sickening feeling I had in my gut and in my heart. I let myself down, I left every other member of the church I represented down, I disrespected my priesthood and I disappointed my Father in Heaven. I will never forget that night or the feeling I had. That’s what helps me every day. Remember, people are watching you and know you keep higher standards. By knocking you down, they feel ‘lifted up’. Stay on higher grounds!!

Interesting . . . Chaplain I always enjoy your thoughts and questions. If we would spend less time arguing over the doctrine and working together on the principles and applying them to our lives wouldn't we, together, draw closer to our Savior?

Ahh!! Willow brings up an interesting point. In UK should a Muslim enter the country with more than one wife he is allowed to remain married to them all! Since the church obeys the law of the land, in lands that allow polygamy can an LDS man do the same? If in UK they allow Muslim’s to practice Polygamy is another allowed the same? (Please note WmLee does not condone nor is he interested in practicing as he firmly believes one wife is more than enough)

You're a good lady! Love them; show them love while you teach them how to love. Seems they are in the middle of a chaos. Your father needs to recognize that they are in his house. He needs to set down some house rules for his grandkids and his son. Some things cannot be allowed in the house. Disrespect is the first that comes to mind. They disrespect grandma and grandpa when they don’t do as they are asked. Your brother disrespects them when he doesn’t come home at night and doesn’t check in. My girls are young adults and they know, my house, my rules. When they have a home of their own they can set their rules and I will respect those rules or I will not be there. If you love those kids and are there for them, be their “rock” during tough times, and the rewards will follow. That you see what is needed, and that you are there (as unfortunate as the circumstances are) is a blessing for the kids and a sign of your strength and abilities!

Welcome!

The church and the meeting held at church are to SUPPORT the family, not draw people away from their family. My wife and I both hold stake callings and serve in the temple. When we get to our leadership meetings it is time to make decisions, set outlines, make assignments and get home. Our Stake President wouldn’t have it any other way. Even girls camp on the stake youth functions are kept this way. Now, my wife and I spend a lot of time at home (often bouncing ideas off each other) working on our assignments. But, if your meetings are taking that much time something is wrong. Fast Sunday is ALWAYS a no meeting day (other than church of course), the second and fourth Sunday’s are meeting Sundays. That seems to be enough.

BrotherBear ~ You are in our prayers each day. Please have someone pop in every once in a while to let us know what's happening.

I have made some terrible mistakes in my life; been to my priesthood leaders and I’ve spent a lot of time on my knees. My wife knows of my past, but not in detail, for that I am grateful. That she knows I made mistakes is enough. If you feel so moved, if you think it is so important that she knows you’ve made a few bad choices, save her any details. “I’ve been in a relationship that was not healthy” or “I made a mistake,” or “I’ve had a problem with chastity and I’ve been to my Bishop and Stake President. I think it’s important you know before you say “yes” to marriage because I don’t want you surprised by any ghost or rumors of ghost coming from my closet” should be enough. To share any details would be hurtful and are not necessary.

Finrock ~ You might want to look that one up!! I think you're mistaken wrong or interpreting something incorrectly. wm

I recently told a young man who seems to have decided against serving a mission that he was only a “young man of interest” when it comes to my daughter until he returns with a letter from his mission president that states he is release AFTER serving an honorable mission. Then I will take him seriously. If he can’t commit to doing the Lords work for 24 months how do I know he can commit to taking care of my daughter for eternity. Suddenly it seems he never said he wasn’t going to serve a mission. I’ve never heard it was a commandment, I don’t expect everyone to serve. I just like to know someone loves the Lord enough to do His work. Tells me, or gives me an idea of how he will treat my daughter and if he will have a Christ centered home. I didn't serve a mission and I think I turned out okay. But, it hasn't always been easy and I wish I would have/could have done things differently.

At first I thought you answered the question in your question. After further reflection I simply have to respond. You refer to “men” and group us all together. A poor mistake. As some men should have surgery so as to never father a child, I have seen a few women who should have the tubes snipped. I worked a ten hour day, came home and took over the kids so mom could rest. I cook a LARGE family dinner on Sunday, dinner on Monday through Thursday (now the little one are YSA Friday and Saturday are “pick your own” days. Last week I went to the store to get a few things my wife and the girls needed. They wrote it down so I would get the right stuff. As I am picking the right box, the right brand on the ladies isle I hear a female voice, “Hi Brother _____”. I look up and found a lady with two kids in tow, (10 or 12 years of age) all smiling at me. I have no idea who they are, must be someone I’ve not met yet though they know me. All I did know was that was NOT my isle!! LauralTree, don’t EVEN go there! Perhaps if more women with that sort of question had married a real man we wouldn’t read this sort of thing!! :)

Welcome!! Like many others, I too have family from your fine area. My G-Grandfather was the shepard for a duke of some sorts. Perhaps when I get home I can look it up and you can tell me where or what it is!!

This really is an administrative issue. If you’ve not be excommunicated and simply had your records sent to Salt Lake it is only a matter of getting your records sent to your Ward. If you’ve requested that your name be removed from the church records it is an administrative issue that the Bishop, (in this case the Stake President can start things because it would have to go through him after the bishop submits his request) and he will contact the Area Presidency. Would you have to be baptized again? Your situation is going to be a little different. Not here, but when you speak with your bishop you’ll have to go into detail about why you chose to leave and what you’ve done in your life during that time. Since you mentioned and ex-husband and a son, there are more things that you don’t need to discuss here that need to be considered. All of this is something you’ll have to be patient about until you speak with local church leaders. I don’t recall Elder Ballard’s talk, but keep in mind your situation might be a little different than the general rule he may have been referring to. I’m glad you’re back!!

Ready, set POST!! Welcome to the site.

This is a tough one. . . but only for you. I fully believe in the four seasons and a road trip rule for relationships. You need to know someone for four seasons before you really know them. How does he handle finances, climate changes (and these really do effect how people act) what happens when it’s hot or when it gets cold and how does he handle seasons, (Christmas, Valentine’s Day, 4th of July) we all do things and/or have traditions and you have to know what his are. The road trip can be a full day away to someplace that has to be planned well in advance. This is a time when just the two of you can sit in the car, train or plane and just talk as you travel to a location you both want to explore. Can he get you home on time is a big question here. You wrote that you are coming out of an abusive relationship. Often the abusive relationship is one of possession and control. Many different things can trigger abuse but one of those causes can be a lack of control on the other party’s part. It seems this gentleman is trying to control you, or refocus you attention/affection to him. It’s as if he wants to be the center of your universe. Getting you and your son through what I am sure is a difficult divorce right now should be the center of your attention. Your son and his well being (emotions) should be the primary concern or the “center of your universe right now (I’m not so much lecturing you here as I am trying to give you something to explain to the knucklehead pursuing you). Because he continues to pursue you and doesn’t take “No” as an answer I think he could be just as dangerous as the one you are divorcing. You may have to explain this to knucklehead. Good luck.

I hate to even got into this but the idea that our Father in Heaven gave you an answer, to a prayer, and you feel prompted NOT to go to church cannot be right. Had that prompting been to attend another Ward for a season, until things settle down, to meet with your Bishop regarding your feelings and request your records be sent to another Ward, i could understand any of these types of answers. But to even think you have been instructed to stop going to His house, to stop renewing your covenants throught the sacrament . . . that prompting was NOT from our Heavenly Father. You made a covenant at baptism to be a Christian, to be a member of His church. That trumps anything else you think you are prompted to do that takes you away from those blessing.

There are a few factors you have to consider when asking this question. Not all members are even close to a temple. Some people can only afford to go perhaps once in their life. We’ve read about and heard about these members. When my son was in Russia he met many members who saved for years and received financial help just so they could go to the temple one time, to be sealed as a family for time and all eternity. We also have members of record who are not old enough to go to the temple so when looking at a membership/temple attendance you have to take into consideration what you are asking. Each Ward could give the statistics of Adult members/endowed members/current recommends holders but I don’t think the church publishes that information. Interesting that you listen to a plumber talk about an electrical problem and how wrong the electrician is for fixing it the way he did. (I gotta stop, those who attack the church . . . .)

I have been under the impression that now and all future offering will be of our time, talent and resources and that the offering of animal or Old Testiment offerings were done when the Lamb of God, the ultimate sacrifice, was given on the cross. I think the "giving" of all we have and all that we may have to the building up of the Kingdon of God is the sacrifice we give now. I haven't seen anything that states animal sacrifice, have you?

If it was a commandment . . . . I would have to fast and pray about it a lot and probably die from malnutrition before accepting the plan. If it was an option . . . . Why would I do that to myself? I already get mentally abused by a wife, four daughters and a daughter-in-law. It would be like, “Here, take the hammer and hit me again”

I wouldn't worry about what others think you need to do. It's your life and it's your time table. not theirs. I believe in four seasons and a road trip before making long term plans. It takes four seasons to see how the other reacts to and deals with what life hands you. The road trip is tough, I do not suggest you take a weekend away. But having time to focus on just each other, perhaps a day trip, will give you a nice idea. As for the parents, I want the best for my kids but I can't control who they fall in love with. Remind them that it's easier to influence a friend than it is an enemy. I am thankful my girls will talk to me about the guys they are friends with and feel comfortable about telling me what's going on. A very of their choices have made me concerned, but it is easier to point out things, (bad moments or past problems) they tend to forget about that other person. I think I've been able to help them see what the big picture is. So far so good anyway.

Dito with Pam! It's always been the Ward Clerk who is responsible for the records and the EQ/HP Leaders and RS Pres. who takes care of HT & VT. In the past the Welcome Committee have been responsible to "welcome" and see that the families know when and where, what numbers to call is things are needed, Stake and Ward positions and local church facilities, (other buildings, temple, distribution center, etc.). Double check what the bishop is asking of you and then have fun!! This can be a great calling and you could be helping new members more than you know. My daughter was welcomed as a visitor to RS again, (she has lived there 7 months and goes every Sunday).

Welcome to the site!! I hope you find things here that will inspire you to inspire others!

welcome to the site!!