Diaries and Other Temptations

[talisyn]

My daughter has reached that quiet, contemplative, and secret age. And I'm just dying with both laughter and curiosity. She has a journal that says in big bold letters 'DIARY, Property of Genie K., KEEP OUT!!!!!!!!!' that she will write in every so often in the living room, and then casually leave on the table or couch. I'm sure it's simply carelessness, pretty sure she doesn't do it to test or torment me, but I really really really want to know what's inside!

So far I've been able to resist (being asleep during the day helps lol). But I would like to know how others deal with similar situations. Any help?

[Gwen]

how old is she? lol i'm guessing if she leaves it around there is nothing in it. i remember about 9 i went through a stage like that. found my journal from then some time ago and i read through some of it... was all trivial stuff, my brother is a dork, i hate my sisters cat, i'm smarter than my teacher, etc. lol nothing interesting till i turned 16 (dating, driving, all that fun stuff) lol by then i had learned to keep my journal hidden.

[talisyn]

She's 10 years old. Kids are funny at that age aren't they? At once eager to declare they need antiperspirant and hiding little crushes. I think that's the golden age of childhood.

[Gwen]

my son (8) recently decided he was going to have a diary... the phase lasted all of 2 weeks. lol but he used a regular notebook, didn't say what it was or anything. i picked it up (it too was laying around) and i flipped through it to see if someone was using it or if it was a clean book. he had drawn some pics and things so i started looking at them... remember i didn't know this was his "diary" at this point. they were cute pics so i asked him about them.... oh did i get in trouble. i got quite the lecture. lol i explained it doesn't say what it is, i didn't know and i was trying to clean up. he did better at keeping it put away after that.

it's a cute age. i would resist the temptation to read it and keep the lines of communication open. better to have her trust (in her things and being able to talk to you) than see what is there. when she gets old enough for life to hold "real" issues her trust will be most important.

requests for antiperspirant is funny but i laughed the hardest when my son asked for calogne for his 8th bday..... i am not ready for teenagers lol

[will227457]

it's your house you can read it if you want to, this will be a way that you can keep tabs on your child and find out what they are up to. this will become mro eimprotant as they enter the teenage years

[rameumptom]

If you trust your daughter, stay out of it. Become the kind of parent she can talk to openly, instead.

If you do not trust your daughter, or if the day comes that you cannot trust her, then you need to tell her that if trust becomes an issue, you have the right and responsibility as a parent to inspect her room and its contents whenever you need to. And you do this to protect her from the dangers of the world: drugs, sex, stalkers, etc.

[talisyn]

I totally trust my child of course. But she's just so cute and clever I would love to read what's going through her mind. It's funny how someone I gave birth to and raised almost all by myself can have so many ideas that I never thought of

[pam]

I totally agree with what Ram said.

[rameumptom]

If you like, try a "shared journal." This is a journal where both you and she can share ideas, hopes, frustrations, etc. You can keep some things personal just by not adding them, but you still get to share thoughts and feelings, and go back to enjoy them time and again. Kind of like Facebook for the two of you....

[talisyn]

neat idea! thank you!