Guest Member_Deleted Posted November 10, 2005 Report Share Posted November 10, 2005 Originally posted by Strawberry Fields+Nov 10 2005, 12:36 PM-->Originally posted by Please@Nov 10 2005, 12:29 PM Originally posted by Strawberry Fields@Nov 10 2005, 12:27 PM<!--QuoteBegin-BenRaines@Nov 10 2005, 12:01 PM Prophets have recently and over the year spoken out about how important it is for the mother to be in the home and there for the children and the different roles we all play in a family. ← I did that. In many ways I believe it to be an injustice to women. I feel that they should have the agency to choose to work or not work. I feel that once my children are wanting to be on their own and leaving the nest I have lost my identity... an identity that had been placed on me by the prophets. Not everyone is the same. Yes I enjoyed the time I had with my children while they were young but now they need independence. I will encourage my daughter and my daughter in laws to still nurture who they are and who they want to me when the children are grown. I will encourage them to take classes and to develop their talents. ← Yet I have never lost my identity.... and still raised 7 kids... am still raising 7 kids... and have not worked outside the home for over 28 years... I have always maintained my identity... but didn't need a job to do that... is working in a burger king, albertsons, clerks office, government office an identity? ← My dreams were much higher then the jobs you listed. My identity was that of a great mother and I was very needed by them. I gave myself to my children.←But where did the prophets tell you to limit yourself to just your children? I mean... can't you be more when they are at school?... That was when I wrote my first books...Then I also found other ways to become developed in a more rounded way... and yet my kids thought I was the perfect mother... I stayed up all hours of the night just hanging out with them and talking...or... made time to help them in their lives... shopping for just the right dress for prom or re modeling a bedroom to make it work for their particular needs...I just didn't stop there... I went on and did stuff for me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisajo Posted November 10, 2005 Report Share Posted November 10, 2005 Well said please! I feel the same way... I spend alot of time with other peoples children ...who needed me, when i was running the kitchen at the school i had kids come in that never had food in the house...never had a nice thing said to them by their Mom Or in alot of cases dad........They always knew they could talk to me...they always knew i had leftovers and could stop by the kitchen if they were hungry, I loved these kids dearly...and to this day when they see me they say thank you, and talk to me Now i do have problems with having 16 kids 1 The health of the mother...what if her heart cant handle somany deliveries and she dies? 2 the time shared with the kids...I know they said that they share time with them but still....not like i could with mine My mom had a friend with that many kids and they were a happy family... But it seems in todays world 16 kids is wayyyyyyy to much, having 4 boys i feel it was right for me...and maybe they feel the same about having 16 kids Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrawberryFields Posted November 10, 2005 Report Share Posted November 10, 2005 Originally posted by Please+Nov 10 2005, 12:46 PM-->Originally posted by Strawberry Fields@Nov 10 2005, 12:36 PMOriginally posted by Please@Nov 10 2005, 12:29 PM Originally posted by Strawberry Fields@Nov 10 2005, 12:27 PM<!--QuoteBegin-BenRaines@Nov 10 2005, 12:01 PM Prophets have recently and over the year spoken out about how important it is for the mother to be in the home and there for the children and the different roles we all play in a family. ← I did that. In many ways I believe it to be an injustice to women. I feel that they should have the agency to choose to work or not work. I feel that once my children are wanting to be on their own and leaving the nest I have lost my identity... an identity that had been placed on me by the prophets. Not everyone is the same. Yes I enjoyed the time I had with my children while they were young but now they need independence. I will encourage my daughter and my daughter in laws to still nurture who they are and who they want to me when the children are grown. I will encourage them to take classes and to develop their talents. ← Yet I have never lost my identity.... and still raised 7 kids... am still raising 7 kids... and have not worked outside the home for over 28 years... I have always maintained my identity... but didn't need a job to do that... is working in a burger king, albertsons, clerks office, government office an identity? ← My dreams were much higher then the jobs you listed. My identity was that of a great mother and I was very needed by them. I gave myself to my children.←But where did the prophets tell you to limit yourself to just your children? I mean... can't you be more when they are at school?... That was when I wrote my first books...Then I also found other ways to become developed in a more rounded way... and yet my kids thought I was the perfect mother... I stayed up all hours of the night just hanging out with them and talking...or... made time to help them in their lives... shopping for just the right dress for prom or re modeling a bedroom to make it work for their particular needs...I just didn't stop there... I went on and did stuff for me...← Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiannan Posted November 10, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2005 Neat comments. I will have to say, there are no jobs (oh, I guess the term today is career) in which you (male or female) could not be replaced and forgotten in a relatively short matter of time. All jobs except the ones with the title FATHER or MOTHER. I wonder, in the Hadith (pretty sure that was the source) it is recorded that Mohammed encouraged large families because then on the Day of Judgement the people you gave life to would be there to thank you for providing them a home of faith and fear of God (Allah). Should we not (as LDS) have an appreciation for this concept with our knowledge of the pre-existence coupled with the concept of "families are forever"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted November 10, 2005 Report Share Posted November 10, 2005 Originally posted by Fiannan@Nov 10 2005, 02:18 PMShould we not (as LDS) have an appreciation for this concept with our knowledge of the pre-existence coupled with the concept of "families are forever"?So Fiannan, do you see in your own LDS communities that the trend to have large families is changing? My husband's 4 siblings that are active in the LDS faith average about 4 children per family (and that includes 4 step-children with one of his siblings not able to have biological children of her own). What do you think should be the norm for LDS family size?M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiannan Posted November 10, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2005 Maureen, I do not deal with norms -- I refer to concepts and principles. Even Brigham Young said people with certain problems (habits or genetic) shouldn't even have kids. Yet the principle that raising a family requies sacrifice (just like tithing, the word of wisdom for some, or even saying no when a woman flirts with you also requires effort). I do believe some people let the world make so much noise to conform to worldly-inspired notions that the Lord's still, quiet voice gets drowned out. I've heard it said that India is the most religious/spiritual country on earth while Sweden is the least. The speaker then said the US is a country of Indians ruled by Swedes. Point is, there are few sources outside the scriptures and leaders of religions that refuse to compromise with the world that would look upon a couple desiring a large family and say, simply, "Good job, the Lord would be pleased". The world tries to tempt people with the evils of materialism/globalism/me-ism into placing materalism and paternalism last on the list of priorities. Few realize that the elite that rule the media (and many in politics and education) aren' really anti-religious (they couldn't care less if you believe in God, Ra or a bran muffin) they are against people following the principles outlined in the Bible. So as long as Christians live the lifestyles that 60 years ago would have even been questioned by secularists of the age (not to mention the religious) then life is good. Pray, bow, believe in what you want -- just conform to what the elite says is good for society. And we all though behaviorism died with Skinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenRaines Posted November 10, 2005 Report Share Posted November 10, 2005 I believe from what I read that we are in agreement that it is a personal choice. Much better than the CHOICE that is discussed in other forums. At the same time my heart goes out to those who choose to limit a family so that they can have the nice things in this life that they were denied or didn't have when they were growing up. Maybe they are not aware that after this life none of the things go with them, big house, fancy cars, nice clothes, etc. What they will have for those who believe in a life after this is the love of those that they have loved. In my work I deal with millionaires every day. Some days Mega-millionaires. Guess what? They are not all happy. Money and riches is not a guarantee of happiness. I was discussing with some coworkers at lunch today that the most precious gifts I have received from my children were letters written in their teens and even now telling my wife and I how grateful they were for our sacrifice so that they could have the things they wanted or needed. My wife has worked hard for 30 years but those years have been working in the home. Now she continues to work hard because she has our biggest baby still living at home, me. Now she reads, she studies her scriptures an hour each day. Sews, she sewed Halloween outfits for the two granddaughters. Cooks dinner each night, she cooks healthy meals not fast food. And keeps the house in perfect order. She just recently started a home business but has always been there when the children were home and was there when they needed to talk and needed supervision. She has sewn more prom dresses than I can count. She has a full time job at home and has her own identity as the mother of her four children. Didn't need the praises of man for a good job when she had the praises of her husband and children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiannan Posted November 11, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 Amen Ben. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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