"Don't Complain To Me"

[Wingnut]

Whether or not you are "able" go back to church is your choice, no one else's.

[kileyizzle]

Whether or not you are "able" go back to church is your choice, no one else's.

I have been alienated, wrongly accused, harassed & bullied.

I am a convert, not even two years.

Yes i understand the concept of agency. But we are influnced frequently by other peoples actions, @ the end of the day we are the ones who make the choice.

But if a person feels as though they have no support they will be unwilling to try. Like i am now.

I am unable to go to church because of their actions.

I have bipolar, anxiety & depression, this has literally broken me down to worse than before.

bitten once twice shy... 17 years of abuse taught me that, and the actions of those people have reinforced & bought back alot of things.

There has been more support here for me than anywhere else.

I'm not saying it to play the victim i'm saying it because it is what it is.

[FairChild]

Sometimes a person receives a calling, not because of what we need from them, but rather, what it is that they can learn and gain from us. It sounds as if some people really are needing a lot of growth and help.

I too deal with emotional problems and have had time where I have been completely overloaded to the point where I did not function well at all.

Take good care of yourself because you are a very important person and a child most well loved by our Heavenly Father.

FC

[kileyizzle]

I also wanted to add, something else as well, regaurding this issue.

This was the straw that broke the camels back, basically... i've had a few issues, and i've spoken up about them frequently.

I was raped three months after my baptisim, and thus again in september, the missionary that baptised me, encouraged me to talk to bishop about it. It took alot for me to do it, and was greeted with an "if" statement completely undermining what strength i had.

I have had alot of nasty things occur during my time in that ward, when taken to the bishop i was told point blank " i can't make people like you " & shown the door.

I have repeatdly spoken to bishop about the gossiping that occurs within the ward, & have even spoken in sacrement about turning the other cheek. I have a strong testimony of trials & adversity. I know that I AM a child of God.

I know that i must put my heart & trust in him in order for me to go anywhere in this life.

By me saying i'm unable to attend church, it's me saying that i just can't... keep having people do this to me...

It sounds sooky, and childish but Every experience in life, everything with which i have come in contact with me, is like a chisel which has been cutting away at me, molding, modifying & shaping me to be what i am. Everyone i've met, Everything i've seen, heard felt & thought has had it's hand into me being unable to attend.

The other girl involved in the situation has completely pulled away from the Gospel, so it's not only myself feeling it.

She too has had the same issues with the same members & the bishop.

So it's alot more than just this one set issue...

[john doe]

I think the big question should be who you think you are punishing by not going to church and renewing your baptismal covenants? All the peripheral stuff is just clutter. Be the best child of God you can be and don't sweat the small stuff. Go to church, take the sacrament worthily, and you will find that the other stuff will work itself out eventually.

[JudoMinja]

Gossip will only bother those who care about it. No matter what others say about you, as long as you know the truth and you know your stance with the Lord, that is what really matters. I've had people say some pretty nasty things about me in the past. Yeah, it stung at first. Yeah, it hurt. Yeah, I wanted to clear things up and help them see things the way they really were. But, after I thought about what really mattered, I just let it roll off my back.

The problems you are describing are strictly social inadequacies. Some of it is on your end, as in some sense you are allowing yourself to be victimized. Your serious problems like the rape, while serious, have nothing to do with the problem you posted here. Problems like that are not trivial, but that does not mean you need to let them overflow into your entire life.

There are some very specific people that hurt you in your life. Those who are causing you to feel alienated at church are not those people (unless you've left out something that shows they are). They may know about your difficulties, but that does not obligate them to treat you any differently other than to do their best to be understanding. While it is wrong, there is nothing you can do to stop others from gossiping except to not gossip yourself. You can't control their choices, but you can control your own.

Do not worry so much about what others think of you. Do not worry so much about what others say about you. It is not their opinion of you that matters. You will make friends when you can stand tall above the gossip. Those who are striving to do likewise will see your character and see past all the miscommunication. And even if you don't make such friends, it is better to have no friends than it is to alienate yourself from the Lord. There are many great and amazing people in the scriptures who had no friends. There are many who were martyred for speaking the truth in a world where nobody wanted to hear it. Is your suffering worse than theirs?

(Sorry if this totally came off the wrong way. I'm not even entirely sure why I felt to write what I did, I just know I felt like it needed to be said.)