Great moments in intellectual absence

[hordak]

...and lessons learned

So being the wonderful thoughtful hubby that i am i decided to be a gentleman and get the car prepped for my wife's ride to work, warming it up, scraping the windows etc.

Being a man who values comfort over fashion naturally i wanted to wear my most comfortable shoes, my Crocs. The problem is with all the holes they don't make good winter footwear so i had to find a way to keep my feet warm an the snow out. I couldn't just wear socks, i hate wet socks so i decided on grocery sacks, i have thousands, literally, and knew the snow would slide right off them. What i didn't figure out (until 2 steps outside and a numb butt later) was how the lack of traction on the top would translate to the lack of traction on the bottom.

Lessons learned:

1. Smooth plastic is slippery (maybe that is why the make sleds out of it)

2. Doing nice things for others can be a pain in the butt (literally).

3. Let the wife scrape her own windows;)

What are your great moments in intellectual absences ? And most importantly, what did you learn?

("twisted" lessons, see lesson 3, wanted)

[Mahone]

Never assume anything (ass-u-me). Like assuming you haven't accidently moved that little red voltage switch you have on the back of the power supply unit on a lot of computers (*bang*). Oh, and if you do forget to check you haven't accidently flicked the switch, ensure there are no smoke detectors in close proximity.

[pam]

Okay stupid thing. But don't go to rub your nose while chopping up jalapeno peppers. It really burns.

[MarginOfError]

This wasn't a total itellectual lapse, but when meeting our bishop for tithing settlement one year, we informed the bishop that my wife was pregnant. For some reason he looked at me and said, "Congratulations."

My response was, "Don't look at me, I didn't do anything."

The look on his face was classic.

[Gwen]

lesson: always thoroughly wash your hands immediately after using icyhot or anything like unto it. there are worse things than forgetting you used it and wiping your eyes. lol

[LDSVALLEY]

1) Being out with a new girlfriend, running into an old girlfriends mother and introducing the new one using the old ones name instead of hers!

She married me anyway!

2) Putting a steak knife pointing upward in a kitbag to avoid cutting the material, tossing it in the car to go to work then sitting on it!!!!!!

That was a real pain in the butt!

My wife laughed and laughed until SHE had to examine the wound to see if I needed to go to the hospital or not!

3) Talking to a female supplier on the phone and thinking about having to call my wife then ending the conversation with "I love you"

4) Doing #3 twice. (two different women thank goodness.)

5) Building a peddle powered raft with steering wheel, awning, comfortable seats then realizing there was no way to get it out of the building it was built in. (In my defense it was as a teenager and none of the other 3 thought about it either.

6)Taking all the brakes off the car at the same time to be efficient. Then forgetting how they go back.

My wife after laughing then realized she would have to help me figure it out!

I wish I could say this was the top of the list but was just the first 1/2 dozen that came to mind from a long list.

7 Rebuilding a kitchen with a friend and using two measuring tapes that were 1/4 inch difference.

8 Getting 3 cars stuck in the same spot at the same time. (I had help doing this one.)

9 fixing a power outlet, led to removing a wall, rewiring 2/3 of house, gyp rocking the same, reflooring the same, etc. etc.

10 Moving to an area I didn't know at all, layout streets etc and taking a night newspaper delivery job using the car for 200 homes over a 40km area, which I didn't know.......lasted 3 days.

11 Standing on a rolling chair to reach something really high up!

12 Grabbing a bowl of water off the cupboard to stop myself from falling!

[Guest]

We were watching a local news station on TV once while a storm was brewing. All of a sudden, the TV program goes out and all that was showing on TV was "snow effect". My mother immediately said, "They must have had a power outage at the station!". And I immediately ran to the light switch to turn on the lights to find out if we lost power too... uh, the TV was still on... duh.

[pam]

Now THAT is funny.

[boyando]

My mother had moved into a new home, in a neighborhood that was still under construction. I had been there twice and then stopped bothering with the address and just drove to it. That Thanksgiving, I pulled to her house, everyone got out and stood on the door step, while I rang the bell.

It was odd to see some one I didn't know, answer the door, but I started inside any way. Two steps in and I figured out that I went to the wrong house. Hey it had the same colored siding and the shape was the same. I'm just glad that I had my wife with me, the next time I visited my mother, because I pulled into the same driveway. And she loves me so much, she felt the need to remind me, every time we pulled into the subdivision.

I'm glad my Mom decided to move to a new area.

[Guest Alana]

The other night I was in the bath when I heard the door bell ring and I was thinking 'who would be at the door this late at night?' about 10 seconds into this line of thought I remembered I don't have a door bell. I blame pregnancy brain:P

[pam]

My kids were listening to music on the computer the other night. A song came on and I went tearing out of my bedroom to go answer my phone. Only to realize the song was on the computer and I just happened to have the same ring tone.

They got a good laugh at my expense.

[Truegrits]

Sitting on the bed watching television, while sewing buttons on a shirt...after each button sticking the needle into the bed while positioning the next button on the shirt...after about 20 minutes of sewing, wondering why the bed was wet...DUH...water bed! The bad part was explaining to my husband why I needed the repair kit.

[Dravin]

Okay stupid thing. But don't go to rub your nose while chopping up jalapeno peppers. It really burns.

I've done one worse... I had to pee.

[Mahone]

I've done one worse... I had to pee.

Lol, thanks for that mental image

[Dravin]

Lol, thanks for that mental image

Bah, that's puny material for a mental image. I could have shared some of the details, but this is a family board. That and it's a painful memory.

Edited February 20, 2010 by Dravin

[pam]

Bah, that's puny material for a mental image. I could have shared some of the details, but this is a family bored. That and it's a painful memory.

I bet the family wasn't "bored" when they heard the story.

[Dravin]

Hey, sometimes this place is so slow it feels like a family bored.

And my sister, who was in the house for the event, was mightily amused and loves to retell it at every opportunity.

[hordak]

I bet the family wasn't "bored" when they heard the story.

You picked up on the bored part and made a joke in good taste,

The word that stuck out when i read it was puny

But i will refrain from making any jokes

[pam]

Good choice. hahahaha

[Mahone]

You picked up on the bored part and made a joke in good taste,

The word that stuck out when i read it was puny

But i will refrain from making any jokes

Lol I picked up on that too. Unlike you I would have made a joke, but I was on my iphone at the time, and I can't login on that to post

[Guest mirancs8]

...and lessons learned

So being the wonderful thoughtful hubby that i am i decided to be a gentleman and get the car prepped for my wife's ride to work, warming it up, scraping the windows etc.

Being a man who values comfort over fashion naturally i wanted to wear my most comfortable shoes, my Crocs. The problem is with all the holes they don't make good winter footwear so i had to find a way to keep my feet warm an the snow out. I couldn't just wear socks, i hate wet socks so i decided on grocery sacks, i have thousands, literally, and knew the snow would slide right off them. What i didn't figure out (until 2 steps outside and a numb butt later) was how the lack of traction on the top would translate to the lack of traction on the bottom.

Lessons learned:

1. Smooth plastic is slippery (maybe that is why the make sleds out of it)

2. Doing nice things for others can be a pain in the butt (literally).

3. Let the wife scrape her own windows;)

What are your great moments in intellectual absences ? And most importantly, what did you learn?

("twisted" lessons, see lesson 3, wanted)

I have to admit this was a a great visual! VERY FUNNY!

In AZ if you have your Crocs on and the sprinklers are going you can take a spill right on the sidewalk. Because we don't get much rain as soon as water hits the sidewalk and roads it's like an ice skating rink! I have taken a number of spills coming out my front door :eek:and I'm sure the neighbors all were laughing at me.

[pam]

That's why I don't wear Crocs when it's wet. Any idea how many times I have fallen in those stupid things? Now those were sights to behold.

[miztrniceguy]

glad i wasn't the only one who laughed about the puny part! :)

[john doe]

Besides being extremely ugly, that's just another reason not to own Crocs.

[pam]

Sometimes it's more about comfort than looks.