Finding Out By Brothers Pain

[Winnie G]

My hart is broken, I spoke to my sister a few days ago and I asked her what was up with our brother he was being so negative this year?

She rattled on about his behavior and them IT slipped my niece was not coming home for Christmas she was going to spend Christmas with her girlfriend. Then she rattled on about something else. I finely in the confusion. What girlfriend? Please don’t tell me this is a girlfriend girlfriend??

There was silence on the other end. Are you telling me my 19-year-old niece is a Lesbian?

Since then I have been bubbling with anger inside.

Her parents my brother being one of them should have gone though a Physic test before they had children. I thought all these years of them acting like granola eating hippies living in the bush being all Mother Earth was just a fad till it never ended (my brother is 50) and then they were so obsessed with divorcing each other the children were left to fend for them self’s. Life style was never a 2nd thought around them. What ever filled your boat was ok in their house. Now this!

He is ashamed to tell me, he knows Ill react to this so that is why he did not tell me.

Therefore, I will wait, moms dieing and caring for her is first right now so I will stay quite and talk to him when I am not so hot under the collar.

I so dearly love my niece she is two years younger then my daughter and there were times she would go with out because it did not fall in to their life style. Like something as simple as a Barbie doll. So that Christmas I sent her a Barbie doll with hand made cloths and a carrying box. She loved it. My brother called me Christmas morning and said "Your right every little girl should have a Barbie she loves it".

I guess I should have sent a Ken doll too.

My hart hurts I have been thinking of writing her and inviting her to attend collage here with us, she is taking the same coarse as our son is right now. Canadian dollar would make her student loan cheaper. Just a thought what do you think?

[Setheus]

If you think you're going to invite her up to stay with the intention of turning her straight....I hate to burst your bubble but that would only cause her to, as a friend of mine says, "crank up the gay".

I would do a lot of praying and meditation and thoughts of putting her first before I go on an anti-gay niece crusade.

[sgallan]

If you think you're going to invite her up to stay with the intention of turning her straight....I hate to burst your bubble but that would only cause her to, as a friend of mine says, "crank up the gay".

Indeed. The first time I met my late BIL he hadn't been out all that long and was definately trying to make an "impression". Frosted hair, extensive culinary knowledge, ordered off menu, and with a lot of 'swish'. Los Angeles gay to the 'T'. It really wasn't what he was like, and when I wasn't shocked, and actually didn't seem to care about any of it, he got out of the 'role' on all subsequent meetings. That part of our family is/was among the ones we became closest to over the years.

[Winnie G]

No, it is not my attention to straiten her up.

My husband and I want to give her a place to finish collage and a real home life.

I know it sounds odd but we feel just a normal home life with her cousins around and with my loving home will be an example. Almost all of our children have left home but one and he are taking the same courses for the same degree. The collage here is the top in Canada for this field. She would have much cheaper student loan and she would have medical coverage wile she is here going to school.

I think a few years away from hippy land will do her some good.

The thought that some of the youth these days are using sexual orientation as a means to rebel also crossed our minds as well. She is so young and after comparing notes, she cannot be over 18.

Is this an experiment on her part like the one so many kids are doing? The whole I am Bisexual thing is the in thing these days.

Gay or straight she needs to be loved and we are able to do that.

[Setheus]

You dont know her age....but you think you know whats best for her? Curious. Perhaps you have a lot of homework to do.

[Winnie G]

I live 1500 miles away from her. I have seen her four times in her young life. We have written for years and I never missed a Christmas. I flew in two days after she was born. Good thing too her collage student parents could not put together any of the baby furniture or how to use a car set.

My daughter told me I was right she turned 18 this summer.

I do not clime to know every thing. I just want to offer her a more stable environment for her to attend collage.

To my family I am the one who caved in to the norm, I’m a wife and mother and a grandmother and I attend church and have worked my way though the lives of my four children. Not one has ended up in jail or gay. There fairly well adjusted and have good heads on their shoulders.

Therefore, yah you could say not being a granola eating militant feminist and a stoner who has never held a real job in his life (50) would make me a more stable.

I am dame boring compared to the rest of my immediate family. The Jewish side thinks I was left by gypsy’s I am not from their gene pool “I’m Normal”

[StrawberryFields]

Winnie,

Do you really believe that your brother and his wife are the reason for your nieces’ choice? Do you believe that if you would have bought her a Ken doll along with the Barbie she would have chosen differently?

[Winnie G]

Do you really believe that your brother and his wife are the reason for your nieces’ choice?

Yes I think if they had given her the basics like a normal home life she would not be acting out in this manner and if she was so called “born” gay then a more normal life would given her a choice and time to understand what it truly means to be homosexual.

When I broke the news to my daughter after the five minutes of “No ways”, she made a remark that rather surprised me.

“Well at lest it’s not (her brother)” I asked what the difference was and she said you can understand her but not her brother.

Somehow being a lesbian is more excitable then a man being gay.

As she said that I had a thought pop in to my head, “that it was more excitable to men at lest they like to watch” when I voiced this she laughed and said “well Yah there’s that too and some how women being a more loving so its more understandable and gay men sex is well creepy”

We talked about the life she has chosen, a life of always being different and unacceptable years of gay bashing and what of a family for her self.

Do you believe that if you would have bought her a Ken doll along with the Barbie she would have chosen differently?

No but to my brother and his wife gender specific toys were some how wrong to them.